Mat Sklansky Appreciation Haiku Contest

[KaneKungFu123]

I'll be awarding $100 to the best written Haiku. Deadline is Wednesday.

[tworooks]

first things first, how many syllables is Sklansky? i dont know how to pronounce it, so i cant do the clap technique

EDIT: also, does the haiku have to be about appreciating him? or is it a haiku about anything?

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
first things first, how many syllables is Sklansky? i dont know how to pronounce it, so i cant do the clap technique

EDIT: also, does the haiku have to be about appreciating him? or is it a haiku about anything?

[/ QUOTE ]

Sk-Lan-Sky

i think its that simple?

["spaceman"Bryce]

The fish are swimming
The seagulls hungrily searching
Mat Sklansky knows both

[MEbenhoe]

Daddy's Little Boy
Powerful Over Forums
He will Own the Trolls

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
Sk-Lan-Sky

i think its that simple?

[/ QUOTE ]


apparently it isn't that simple.. I really don't think "sk" is a syllable.

sklan-sky

two.

[tworooks]

[ QUOTE ]
The seagulls hungrily searching

[/ QUOTE ]

i hope u know thats 8 syllables

[Matty]

$20 says the winner isn't even a haiku.

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
$20 says the winner isn't even a haiku.

[/ QUOTE ]

Mine is sooooo gonna win. And it is a haiku, so you might not want to offer that bet so freely.

["spaceman"Bryce]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The seagulls hungrily searching

[/ QUOTE ]

i hope u know thats 8 syllables

[/ QUOTE ]
Shut up /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
$20 says the winner isn't even a haiku.

[/ QUOTE ]

Mine is sooooo gonna win. And it is a haiku, so you might not want to offer that bet so freely.

[/ QUOTE ]No, yours is a senryu. Biyatch.

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
$20 says the winner isn't even a haiku.

[/ QUOTE ]

Mine is sooooo gonna win. And it is a haiku, so you might not want to offer that bet so freely.

[/ QUOTE ]No, yours is a senryu. Biyatch.

[/ QUOTE ]

It is? whats that? Whats a haiku then?

[Matty]

haiku = nature
senryu = human stuff

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
haiku = nature
senryu = human stuff

[/ QUOTE ]

ahh, so the $20 amount was to just try to entice suckers like myself in who know little about poetry? Well played sir.

[housenuts]

mat has the power
he has banned me two times
i was deserving

[The Yugoslavian]

Two plus two tumult.
Soothing waves wash all around.
Mat is the calm sea.

Yugoslav

[Schneids]

Like flies on dog sh[/i]it
Mat sifts through the stupid posts
And leaves the site clean

[diddle]

Look towards the west
Sklansky the son has risen
No more yaomamma

[JaBlue]

the moderator
watches over his children
but doesn't eat them

[housenuts]

mat goes to the bar
picks up chics by saying
i mod two plus two

[JaBlue]

how many entries do we get?

[housenuts]

i saw no limit. merely the prize is awarded to the best written one.

[JaBlue]

i'm hoping there's no limit because I think I am capable of cranking out 20 [censored] haikus and one good one

[InchoateHand]

To express something
In seventeen syllables
Can be very diff

[tbach24]

Matt wastes his time here
Moderating over crap
Negative EV

[InchoateHand]

Mat has just one tee
The gentle tree shivers sad
Like Matt with two tees.

[27offsuit]

His knowledge comforts
Like a Mother's ample bosom
As I rake my pots

[Ogre]

Matt is a good guy
I don't really know him
Do you transfer through Party?

[27offsuit]

oh sh*t, I thought it was D. Sklansky.

In that case....


He moderates more
than he did a year ago
next year will suck too

[MelK]

As long as we have another Mat Sklansky thread going, how about a little contest.

When will Mat make his 200th post?

He is at 199 now. Given his history, it could be a day or it could be 3 months. Guess here in this thread.

My guess is May 9th.

[MicroBob]

I am laughing REALLY hard at some of these.

Here's my mediocre attempt:


dreams of spam and trolls
who can help? will we survive?
Thanks Mat!! Much Better.

[GrekeHaus]

Not diarrhea
Can keep Mat from his good work
Just shits in his chair

[Uglyowl]

Spam, swearing and nudity
Away from his five-ten game
Cleaning things up, Mat Sklansky

[JAA]

[ QUOTE ]
Not diarrhea
Can keep Mat from his good work
Just shits in his chair

[/ QUOTE ]

Leader so far, IMO.

- Jags

[MicroBob]

Haiku = 5, 7, 5 right?

That one is 7, 7, 7.

[MEbenhoe]

Like Lion Waiting
With Ferocity Springs Forth
Striking Down His Prey

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Two plus two tumult.
Soothing waves wash all around.
Mat is the calm sea.

[/ QUOTE ]


this is my favorite so far. but i might change my mind.

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

mat read this haiku...
[censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored] balls poop
shitty shitty [censored]

[Uglyowl]

With prostitution rampant
Drugs and no morals
A breath of fresh air is Mat

Ooops... corrected version

Drugs and no morals
With prostitution rampant
Mat is like AA

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

[ QUOTE ]
With prostitution rampant
Drugs and no morals
A breath of fresh air is Mat

[/ QUOTE ]

not a haiku.

[MicroBob]

7, 5, 7 doesn't qualify either I think.


But it was a nice poem anyway.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Sk-Lan-Sky

i think its that simple?

[/ QUOTE ]


apparently it isn't that simple.. I really don't think "sk" is a syllable.

sklan-sky

two.

[/ QUOTE ]


On Fox Sports they keep saying "sku - lan -sky"

So I don't know.

[MicroBob]

The Fox play-by-play guy, Chris Rose, is wrong (I think).

We had the same discussion on the WPT forum when Vince Van Patten was saing it the same way on the WPT 'poker by the book' episode.

A couple 2+2'ers who say they know David confirmed that it is just two syllables (that he introduced HIMSELF that way I believe).


Konik says it with 2 syllables I believe...as does Sexton.


I'm not really sure why Chris and Vince say Skuh-lan-skee.


Chris is a friend of mine from back in the day (college and a little post-college).
If I ever happen across him again I might ask him about the 'skuh-lan-skee' thing.

[MicroBob]

We have some dispute.
'tis Sklan-skee or Skuh-lan-skee?
I wish someone knew.

[bholdr]

[censored] [censored] [censored] cock
the censors might be watching...
please don't ban me mat.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif
(serious one coming later)

[Sweaburg]

Like Cronus' son,
Mat brings justice to forum-
Thunderbolts rain down

[bholdr]

my room is a mess,
ciggerette smoke, poker posts
a clean site, thanks mat

[Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!]

[ QUOTE ]
[censored] [censored] [censored] cock
the censors might be watching...
please don't ban me mat.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif
(serious one coming later)

[/ QUOTE ]

bitter...

[rusellmj]

I misspelled my name
I pleaded with Mat for help
He told me tough sh!t

[mmbt0ne]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
I misspelled my name
I pleaded with Mat for help
He told me tough sh!t

[/ QUOTE ]

You have three hundred
ninety-five posts! Just make a
new name dude. It's easy.


Just as the wind blows
cool, Mat assures there are no
dicks from yaomama

[Dr. Strangelove]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll be awarding $100 to the best written Haiku. Deadline is Wednesday.

[/ QUOTE ]

MATT: from up on high
Purges tiny penises
Asks: Do you see why?

[Uglyowl]

Zee, Mason, Daddy
A life of a prince for mat
Nepotism yup

[JaBlue]

goddamnit I was trying to work in nepotism but I forgot the world and was thinking "neologism" i won't do it now though &gt;:O

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
Two plus two tumult.
Soothing waves wash all around.
Mat is the calm sea.

Yugoslav

[/ QUOTE ]

i've decided to up the prize to $200...

this is #1 right now...

lets get some more out there, there is no limit to entries...

something alluding to Mat's adolescence would be interesting. like one about him removing his braces would be neat, as long as its also a haiku still.

[asofel]

youth grows with wisdom
even those on the down low
catcher now pitcher

if there is a god
matthew must be like jesus
he cleanses our sins

and on the eigth day
god himself beget matthew
angels then rejoiced

[InchoateHand]

yaomama posts cock
Mat swoops down like an eagle
say bye-bye gaypic

Mat looks from afar
In nature no friends for Mat
Now Mat one cool dude


Mat popped his collar
Tucked in his pretty pink shirt
housenut's ass mat's foot

[InchoateHand]

there is a sklansky
not the one smarter than god
but as smart as oot

[beerbandit]

first post, obvious
little bitch ass troll nugget
judo chop their ass


cheers

[beerbandit]

above 2plus2
watching from a mountain
mat, destroyer of trolls

sitting at work all day
damn, you get paid for this too
guess its nap time

blades of grass stand tall
weeds surround us, all is lost
mat, round-up in hand

[Rushmore]

As God sent a flood
The wrath of Oz is Matty
To purge and to heal

[PoBoy321]

Quote Quote Quote Quote Quote
[censored] God Damn Mother Fucker
Could you please ban me?

[on_thg]

I heard of Sklansky
David not this Mat guy yo
Who the F is he?

[VayaConDios]

We know well the path
But do not always follow
So then there is Mat

[Shajen]

Matt is to OOT
what SpicyF is to art
I like Happy Bird

[GrekeHaus]

If there is a God
He's like Mat--except one thing
God has no prom date

[Shakezula]

For newbies and pros
The sun is Matthew Sklansky,
The felt is but grass.

[purnell]

"On Fox Sports they keep saying "sku - lan -sky""

FOX? And you don't know?

[Shakezula]

To learn the system
Step into the shining sun,
Quick Sklansky grinning.

[purnell]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The seagulls hungrily searching

[/ QUOTE ]

i hope u know thats 8 syllables

[/ QUOTE ]

It doesn't matter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku)

[Shakezula]

sorry , i was ode-ing to David....

The thunder crashes:
A slip of the tongue bans me.
Matthew watches all.

[The Yugoslavian]

Two plus two darkness.
Falling deeper and deeper.
Mat: our guiding light.

It is Judgement Day.
Mat seals your two plus two fate.
Will you be expunged?

So much chaos here.
Confusion, bad energy.
Mat's soul slices through.

Yugoslav

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
"On Fox Sports they keep saying "sku - lan -sky""

FOX? And you don't know?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure that "sku - lan - sky" is wrong.

But pretty sure = I don't know.

[RicktheRuler]

Actually, you can pronounce it both ways. If I knew how to put linguistic symbols on here I would.

[Uglyowl]

Two large cheese pizzas
Big Mac, large coke, six nuggets
For Mat it's a snack

[The Stranger]

Dad's dirty work
Scott Evil has nothing on him
Handling shyt daily

[Haiku Answer]

sword of damocles
hangs above all who post here
Mat swings it at will

[woodguy]

Go ahead say poop
Say peepee, kaka, and fart
Just don't say [censored]

[john smith]

Headgear, warts, and zits
Matt is far from a sup bro
But fits OOT

[GrekeHaus]

My nipples get hard
When I'm thinking about Mat
Unicorns kick ass!

[on_thg]

OOT is full of dross
A real crapapalooza
The big poop, Mat scoops

[OtisTheMarsupial]

Sklansky deserves praise
but Miller is MY fave
the NPA rules!

[Shajen]

Mat Sklansky's modding
never too little too late
two hundred bucks please.

[InchoateHand]

Mat's anal sphincter
Has felt too many oot tongues
In this one weak thread

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
Mat's anal sphincter
Has felt too many oot tongues
In this one weak thread

[/ QUOTE ]

I did it for green,
straight cash homey, ya dig it?
bank roll low, lick nuts.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[InchoateHand]

[ QUOTE ]
I did it for green,
straight cash homey, ya dig it?
bank roll low, lick nuts.


[/ QUOTE ]

Totally get it
salty is the best flavor
when cash is needed

[vulturesrow]

David's offspring, maybe.
Bayes says chances of math prodigy
Having sex with girl, low.

[this guy]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Mat's anal sphincter
Has felt too many oot tongues
In this one weak thread

[/ QUOTE ]

I did it for green,
straight cash homey, ya dig it?
bank roll low, lick nuts.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

Desperate for cash
Willing to lick some men's nuts
Big steve is your man

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]

Desperate for cash
Willing to lick some men's nuts
Big steve is your man

[/ QUOTE ]

Not desperate bro,
just an easy shot at the cash
welcome to OOT, man

[The Yugoslavian]

Kane,

You should give everyone an update...

Yugoslav

[KaneKungFu123]

Youre the Winner YUGO

CONGRATS!!!

can i send you the money via party? pm me....

[ QUOTE ]
Kane,

You should give everyone an update...

Yugoslav

[/ QUOTE ]

[jackdaniels]

The only appropriate thing to do here is repost his Haiku - you aren't going to make us read the whole damn thread.

Are you?

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
The only appropriate thing to do here is repost his Haiku - you aren't going to make us read the whole damn thread.

Are you?

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you think I actually read it?

[KaneKungFu123]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Two plus two tumult.
Soothing waves wash all around.
Mat is the calm sea.

Yugoslav

[/ QUOTE ]

i've decided to up the prize to $200...

this is #1 right now...

lets get some more out there, there is no limit to entries...

something alluding to Mat's adolescence would be interesting. like one about him removing his braces would be neat, as long as its also a haiku still.

[/ QUOTE ]

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you think I actually read it?

[/ QUOTE ]


NH.

[astroglide]

[ QUOTE ]
Zee, Mason, Daddy
A life of a prince for mat
Nepotism yup

[/ QUOTE ]

i was amused by that one

[CourtesyFlush]

[ QUOTE ]
To express something
In seventeen syllables
Can be very diff

[/ QUOTE ]

NH.

[CourtesyFlush]

my god the crap here
rakeback, spam, affiliates
Mat you poor bastard

[GrekeHaus]

[ QUOTE ]
Not diarrhea
Can keep Mat from his good work
Just shits in his chair

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't believe this one didn't win. The brilliance of this haiku may never be duplicated.

[on_thg]

True Poker condoms
They could be what Mat needs
Surely X-X-L


oh, [censored], wrong thread.