When you hate an opponent

[Rich P.]

What does it mean when you find yourself feeling hatred for one of your opponents. I had this experience against one lady recently. I hated her, because she didn't miss a bet. Sometimes I begin to hate an opponent who is getting lucky while I'm getting unlucky. Also, I realize that opponents also hate me, because I raise more often than I call. What can a player do about this mixture of rage and frustration that seems to turn into hate.

[brad]

envy - you hate good players - not good for your game

injustice - you hate lucky players - not good for your game

disdain - you hate anti-social players - what to do about players who are very rude to other players and curse, etc. i think its just best to make your feelings known but in a very soft way and not to the player in question but to other players or the dealer.

[SittingBull]

the best way of playing your cards again /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif st the entire field--not just against the player U intensely dislike!
Your NEGATIVE feelings will then be at a control level.
U will USUALLY leave the session a "happier player".
And keep in mind that being beat by someone who "sucks out" on u is good for your game.
A bad/poor player NEEDS to win once in a while--otherwise,he will not return to play and make more donations.
So ,even if U are losing,be contented that a bad/weak player is taking down one or two racks THIS TIME!
Realize that PAYDAY is not too far away--IF U are playing well most of the time.

Happy pokering!
Sitting Bull

[Al Schoonmaker]

You've already gotten some good advice, but I'd like to add a lawyer's rule: A good lawyer can "get angry" any time it is in his client's interest, but, if he gets angry for emotional purposes, he is acting unprofessionally.

That is, lawyers often fake anger, but good lawyers don't let their emotions interfere with their professional judgment. The way you have described yourself, your emotions are influencing your play, and it MUST cost you.

Follow the lawyer's principle and keep all conflicts impersonal and unemotional. It's not a personal affront when we get outplayed or outdrawn; it's just the way the game is.

Al

[bernie]

gaining knowledge of the game and self discovery are about your only ways out...

ask yourself why your hate these people...and it's not because their winning, or getting lucky...

it's because you dont understand the game and how to adjust certain players. nor the swings and how they work in the game.
why else would you hate someone who is winning?

when i had trouble with players, i studied their play a little more closely. and learned from them. you block the learning process with 'rage'. if you cant stand losing, grow up a little and learn. youre only benefitting the others who are gaining from your possible tilting...

i personally enjoy it when im pissing someone off at the table.
simply because i know they are off their game and are close to playing irrationally. i love it...

this can be a tough hurdle to get over in the game, and some never get over it.

good luck...

b

[perfidious]

Rich,

i agree with Al- the negative feelings can only work in favour of the opponent(s) whom you detest. If you've never read Al's book The Psychology of Poker, I believe you'll find it useful all round. If you tend to personalise conflicts with others in areas outside poker, then there may be something more to think about. I've been there and done it myself, though have managed to overcome it- the cost was too high, in terms of my own well- being, as well as those nearest me who truly mattered who had to put up with me.

Besides, you don't the other guy to know he gets your goat, even if he's the biggest slimepot known to man!!!

perfidious

[Rich P.]

[Rich P.]

Going on tilt is something everyone needs to be aware of, and I'm no exception. In the first example, I had been making the correct decisions but losing because my opponent was getting lucky and I wasn't. Now I'm sure I made some mistakes, but it just seemed that when some players are getting lucky, it best to just stay out of their way.

On the second example, I hated the player because she was a good player. Everyone at the game was passive accept for her and I. When she raise, I couldn't play a hand that would have been profitable against more passive opponents. I was a little surprised by my feelings, but I acknowledged them to myself on why this happens and how to over come it.

[Rich P.]

I know I have to deal with. Sometimes taking a walk or just getting up and leaving is the best way to deal with. I usually don't have those feelings away from the table, but when I'm running badly, and something else triggers it, I do find myself feeling that way.

Hating another player because they are making good plays against you or getting lucky is just foolish. Playing well is what it's all about and if you can't compete, leave. As for the cards, they even out over time.

Where I find myself disliking (not hating) other players is when they are rude or angleshoot. I'm usually pretty direct but try not to get ugly when such a player is interfering with me or the mood of the table. I don't see any reason to put up with b.s. at the poker table you wouldn't put up with anywhere else. Now if the abusive player is a big contributor, I might decide to grin and bear it for the good of the game.

[Al Schoonmaker]

You wrote: "I was a little surprised by my feelings, but I acknowledged them to myself on why this happens and how to over come it."
Yours is exactly the right approach to feelings, especially the irrational and destructive ones. We all have such feelings, but often deny them. When we deny them, we reduce our effectiveness. In fact, the central principle of psychoanalysis is to bring subconscious feelings into conscious awareness so that we can cope with them.
Regards,

Al

[bernie]

"I hated the player because she was a good player. "

rechannel it to learn from her. i welcome better players on the table. not alot, but one or 2 is fine. they can be easier to read. but ive also learned alot from them by watching how they play at my table. and i mean alot. some players pay for lessons from better players, here youre getting them for a reduced cost. not saying this player is super high level, but if she's better than you, sponge some information off of her best you can. seems your set in one way of playing and either cant adjust to a solid/good player, or you, subconciously, dont want your game to develop past what you know can normally beat your regular table and be more versatile. thus when someone comes and disrupts your game, you get frustrated. though the latter may be less likely since your posting the question here. which is a positive move.

turn the negative into a positive.

b

[Graham]

"it just seemed that when some players are getting lucky, it best to just stay out of their way."

Rich, I hope you don't really believe this.

Someone getting lucky is very likely to be the player you would most like to play hands against, suggesting they're playing substandard poker. You shoul dbe applying htis thinking to the 2nd player, the good aggressive lady.

jmho
G