Bathroom Etiquette Part I (Urinals)

[jnalpak]

Part I - URINALS

What in your terms are proper etiquette for corporate bathrooms?

Do you find the urnial people choose quite strange? Is there a reason why the firm has 6 urinals and this guy has to stand in the one two over?

What about Gas? is it acceptable to let it go hard and loud or soft and quiet if there is another person at a stall down the row?

Do you turn your head or stare straight to the wall? Do you think of anything?

I'm always thinking, this dude next to me better not be looking at me...but how do i know if i don’t turn to chk it out but then im caught looking at him...then you get all embarrased and give one of those bullshit head nods, like sup'bro /images/graemlins/confused.gif

What about conversation?
If its a colleague?
If its your boss?
If the owner of the company?

Do you even attempt conversation or wait until you are washing your hands? Or do you wash and run?

Discuss...

[istewart]

A good bathroom conversation starter is:

"Hey boss, how come you don't hire any black people?"
Silence.
Then laughter ensues.

[jakethebake]

No conversation. You wait. One should always choose the urinal furthest from anyone else. If there's no one else there, choose one such that someone could be furthest from you if they were to come in before you're through. You either stare up at the wall or down into the urinal. It's perfectly fine to blow one while standing at the urinal.

[jnalpak]

what if the other guy lets one rip thats loud and long? do you compliment? do you then try to let one out?

[istewart]

[ QUOTE ]
do you compliment?

[/ QUOTE ]

lmfao

[manpower]

[ QUOTE ]
what if the other guy lets one rip thats loud and long? do you compliment? do you then try to let one out?

[/ QUOTE ]
I think you must keep it within the confines of the corporate ladder. IE, if he is your boss your gas must be no louder or impressive than his.

At least that's my take on it.

[bdk3clash]

"One should always choose the urinal furthest from anyone else."

Disagree. If the urinals are configured thusly:

X X X X |

and someone is standing at the far urinal, like this:

X X X X |
o

Then the clear choice is to stand with one urinal in between and not at the farthest urinal. Let's use the process of elimination.

X X X X |
o o
This is clearly incorrect, since you should avoid "coupling" at all costs.

However, if you choose the farthest urinal:
X X X X |
o____o
then you're making it obvious that you're going out of your way to be as far as possible, which is creepy in and of itself. Take the one second from the right.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
then you're making it obvious that you're going out of your way to be as far as possible, which is creepy in and of itself. Take the one second from the right.

[/ QUOTE ]

WTF? Of course you're being obvious. You want to be obvious! It's not creepy! I [censored] expect you to piss as far from me as you possibly can.

[kerssens]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
then you're making it obvious that you're going out of your way to be as far as possible, which is creepy in and of itself. Take the one second from the right.

[/ QUOTE ]

WTF? Of course you're being obvious. You want to be obvious! It's not creepy! I [censored] expect you to piss as far from me as you possibly can.

[/ QUOTE ]

What if the farthest urinal is also the kiddy one? The splash factor for the kiddie urinal would make me choose one that is a little closer.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
then you're making it obvious that you're going out of your way to be as far as possible, which is creepy in and of itself. Take the one second from the right.

[/ QUOTE ]

WTF? Of course you're being obvious. You want to be obvious! It's not creepy! I [censored] expect you to piss as far from me as you possibly can.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would go so far as to say that not going as far away as you can is creepy.

Of course, I like to drop a deuce in private, so if any of the stalls are taken I'll wait or go to another floor.

Call me weird, whatever. I just get tired of hearing disgusting, dirty mother fuckers blasting ass all over the place.

Plus, the building I work at has a ton of older people, and it seems several of them have colitis or crohn's. It is not uncommon for me to walk into a stall and see remnants of a turd plastered to the back wall of the toilet bowl.

Nasty. Usually I try to avoid taking a dump at work if I can. It's really that bad. (This is the executive washroom too) /images/graemlins/confused.gif /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
What if the farthest urinal is also the kiddy one? The splash factor for the kiddie urinal would make me choose one that is a little closer.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's an excellent question. It depends on the bathroom configuration and how I feel about the one at the other end versus the next closer one.

[bdk3clash]

[ QUOTE ]
WTF? Of course you're being obvious. You want to be obvious! It's not creepy! I [censored] expect you to piss as far from
me as you possibly can.

[/ QUOTE ]
It's this exact attitude that I find creepy. I don't want someone standing next to me if there are a bunch of empty urinals either, but picking the urinal that's literally as far away as possible is creepy, too. If there were a row of ten urinals, and someone was standing at one end, would you really stand at the very far end? Doesn't that behavior strike you as a bit too conscious of the other person?

[Luzion]

International Center for Bathroom Etiquette (http://www.icbe.org/icbe.shtml)

Enough said

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Doesn't that behavior strike you as a bit too conscious of the other person?

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course you're conscious of him, but you're supposed pretend you're not. Easiest to both pretend the other isn't there if you're as far from each other as possible.

[guller]

kiddy urinal? I always thought that one was for us longer folk.

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
"One should always choose the urinal furthest from anyone else."

Disagree. If the urinals are configured thusly:

X X X X |

and someone is standing at the far urinal, like this:

X X X X |
o

Then the clear choice is to stand with one urinal in between and not at the farthest urinal. Let's use the process of elimination.

X X X X |
o o
This is clearly incorrect, since you should avoid "coupling" at all costs.

However, if you choose the farthest urinal:
X X X X |
o____o
then you're making it obvious that you're going out of your way to be as far as possible, which is creepy in and of itself. Take the one second from the right.

[/ QUOTE ]

This exact lay out was in a article GQ a few months back

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
Call me weird, whatever. I just get tired of hearing disgusting, dirty mother fuckers blasting ass all over the place.


[/ QUOTE ]

This made me laugh out loud. I feel the same way.

I hate it when I am doin my business and someone comes running in from lunch and before the sit their ass on the seat they are already blowing it up.

There is also no sound worse then listen to someone grunt and whimpering as they spray some mud.

[tdarko]

funniest thing i have seen or heard in a bathroom:

my buddy is taking a leak and he notices the guy next to him blatantly staring at his johnson, he says "eeeeeeaasssssssyyyy peaker!"

the guy turned bright red zipped up and ran out, public humilation is always good for a nice laugh. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[bdk3clash]

You guys need to read the Shameless Shitting Manifesto (http://www.poopreport.com/Shameless/Content/Manifesto/manifesto.html) and chill the fuck out.

[jnalpak]

[ QUOTE ]
funniest thing i have seen or heard in a bathroom:

my buddy is taking a leak and he notices the guy next to him blatantly staring at his johnson, he says "eeeeeeaasssssssyyyy peaker!"

the guy turned bright red zipped up and ran out, public humilation is always good for a nice laugh. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

was it a co-worker?

[i wanna be me]

Take the urinal test. (http://www.millan.net/funp/100/utest.html)

[tdarko]

random man at a ballpark.

[jnalpak]

[ QUOTE ]
random man at a ballpark.

[/ QUOTE ]

San Fransisco Giants or NY METS!!

[tdarko]

houston astros, back when it was Enron Field.