jesus christ these cartoons are abysmal

[astroglide]

http://www.thepokerforum.com/pokercartoon.htm

[STLantny]

I read like 12, I couldnt stop. Probably like the worst thing I have ever seen in print.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I read like 12, I couldnt stop. Probably like the worst thing I have ever seen in print.

[/ QUOTE ]

They're in print someplace? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif
I just kept reading one after another thinking I'd get to one that was mildly amusing...nothing.

[stabn]

Wow...

[gumpzilla]

Wrong. They are sublime.

A few highlights for those of you not watching at home:

A guy arrives at a Halloween party, but he doesn't appear to be wearing anything goofy. But wait . . .
"I am in costume. I'm here as someone who actually wins at poker more than once a friggin year."

In another one, we see a guy in front of a house where it's snowing, talking to a fat man in white and red with a bushy white beard . . . oh, wait! The sign above the house says "SANTA"! It's Santa Claus! And what does he have to say?
"No, I can't guarantee you a Royal Flush this Christmas, because I'll be one of the guys you're playing against."

In yet another, two dogs are talking, one inside a house, one outside. The one inside says:
"I can't come out. I have to teach my owner how to play poker. It's a curse being a smart breed." Wow! That must be one smart dog! Or maybe he just has a dumb owner!

They also aren't afraid to branch into political commentary; at an IRS office . . .
"According to our records, Mr. O'Reilly, you tried to win a million dollars in a poker tournament. So even though you didn't win the million dollars, you'll be taxed on it." Ain't that the truth!

You can't teach the funny like this.

[CORed]

Not only that, their web designer is retarded. On the page with links to the cartoons, the link text disappears (changes to black on black) when your mouse is on it.

[nolanfan34]

You guys are wrong. I laughed a lot, because they're so bad.

I've never seen a cartoon that makes the "joke" so obvious, and that includes Peanuts.

[tpir90036]

Wow. Those are unbelievably bad.

The only one that I saw which gets anything above 0 stars out of 5 would be #5. It is still only a 0.5 but it at least was an attempt at some sort of "Tee hee i am a degenerate and my wife hates me" type of humor. Something that someone might actually be able to relate to.

They don't even make any sense. It's not easy to do a joke and a punchline in one cell and have it be funny/ironic/whatever... but starting with a subject matter more interesting than poker might help. This guy needs to read up on his Far Side.

[stabn]

This obviously has too much poker content for OOT, but i couldn't help but laughing at the most complicated holdem starting hands system ever... (http://www.thepokerforum.com/holdemsuccess.htm)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Wrong. They are sublime.

[/ QUOTE ]

Your real name is Jerry King, isn't it? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
This obviously has too much poker content for OOT, but i couldn't help but laughing at the most complicated holdem starting hands system ever... (http://www.thepokerforum.com/holdemsuccess.htm)

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually saw a more complicated version of that someplace. But can you imagine someone doing this? The title of the article is great too.

[gumpzilla]

You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[Duke]

Wow I can't believe I lost a bunch of poker hands in a row in a poker game.

I hope he didn't get paid for making those up.

~D

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure this is correct in all instances.

[scotty34]

[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should also fold 88 in MP in an unraised pot.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should also fold 88 in MP in an unraised pot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is that wrong?

[MarkSummers]

this one doesn't even make sense http://www.thepokerforum.com/pokercartoon29.htm

who writes this crap and why?

[astroglide]

you can never have too many "poker cards"

[gumpzilla]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm pretty sure this is correct in all instances.

[/ QUOTE ]

At last, my search is over! I have found the greatest poker mind of the 21st century! PM me STAT, jakethehorsey (if I may call you that) (and I may), and we shall set up a lucrative arrangement that shall allow us to ride, ride, RIDE to prosperity! We shall be swimming in filthy lucre!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
At last, my search is over! I have found the greatest poker mind of the 21st century! PM me STAT, jakethehorsey (if I may call you that) (and I may), and we shall set up a lucrative arrangement that shall allow us to ride, ride, RIDE to prosperity! We shall be swimming in filthy lucre!

[/ QUOTE ]

Lucre! Now there's a word not used every day. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[adanthar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should also fold 88 in MP in an unraised pot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Any pocket pair below 88 is absolutely worthless, unlike KTs, a premium hand you should always play from any position.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can tell it's a good system because it says that KQs is about as good as JJ, and can be played after a raise from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

You should also fold 88 in MP in an unraised pot.

[/ QUOTE ]

Any pocket pair below 88 is absolutely worthless, unlike KTs, a premium hand you should always play from any position.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right. Ummmm...Obviously. Are you saying that's wrong? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[astroglide]

http://www.badbeat.com/tmp/cartoon8.jpg

[astroglide]

http://www.badbeat.com/tmp/cartoon27.jpg

[jakethebake]

I don't even get these two? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[wayabvpar]

A little piece of my sense of humor died with every one I read. Just completely unamusing in every aspect.

[nolanfan34]

You have jumped way ahead of the pack for funniest poster. The lol at the end of the 2nd one just kills me.

[astroglide]

http://www.badbeat.com/tmp/cartoon58.jpg

[Superfluous Man]

I got nothing, I just needed to procrastinate by making these less funny:
http://pechorin.fuckyouanddie.com/fakecartoon1.jpg


http://pechorin.fuckyouanddie.com/fakecartoon2.jpg


http://pechorin.fuckyouanddie.com/fakecartoon3.jpg


Edit: also, before anyone steals this fantastic idea:

http://pechorin.fuckyouanddie.com/fakecartoon4.jpg

[TimM]

http://server2.uploadit.org/files/timm66-cartoon37.jpg

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
http://server2.uploadit.org/files/timm66-cartoon37.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

Awesome.

~D

[Jeff W]

[ QUOTE ]

http://pechorin.fuckyouanddie.com/fakecartoon4.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

This should read "KAKAKAKAKAKAKA."

[astroglide]

KEKEKE is how it's said in blizzard games

[Klepton]

gg no re noob kekekekeke

btw you just won me over for funniest poster

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.badbeat.com/tmp/cartoon27.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

see I thought the LOL at the end made this great (plus the way the cartoons are drawn of course). got a laugh out of me.

[Superfluous Man]

[ QUOTE ]
KEKEKE is how it's said in blizzard games

[/ QUOTE ]
Damn, my mistake. I should have thrown in a few "kawaiis" and ^____^s for good measure. Live and learn.