Pizza Delivery tip scams and revenge stories

[tek]

There's another thread with topic of best part-time jobs. Someone said pizza delivery was theirs and that was the inspiration for this thread. I delivered pizza when I was young.

Here's a few tip scam and revenge stories. Add yours:

Look around the yard or take a quick peek when you are in the doorway and see if there is something you can comment on. Example, if they have a boat or motorcycle and you can talk about that, it might increase your tip.

If they are regulars and you remember them, it will increase you tip.

Leave all the $1's and coins in the car. Pull out all the $5's & $10's out of your pocket and say "I have to go get change--be right back." Most customers will say keep the change.

Revenge:
Cheapskates send their kids to the door to stiff you. Give them the coins as change...

Shake the pop up before you go to the door. If they tip you, say "Be careful--the pop rolled off the seat". If they don't tip, say nothing /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[BusterStacks]

I too delivered pizza when I was young. One lady was pissed for some reason and wrote "[censored] OFF" on the charge slip. I went back that night and threw a brick through her window.

[Beerfund]

One time my pizza was cold so I chased the delivery guy down the street and beat him with a 4 iron.

[Perseus]

note to self: do not write [censored] off on charge slip when ordering pizza

I don't know why people get so cheap when tipping. It's usually 1 or 2 damn dollars for god sakes, and most delivery people are kids who use tips as their primary salary

[fluxrad]

I don't have many good revenge stories, so I'll just give you this one:

This one time, I was delivering Pizza in the St. Louis area. Well, actually west St. Louis. I remember in particular this one incident. We'd got a call to go to some [censored]'s house way out in Frontenac. I drew the short straw because I had only been working there for about a month and was still considered the FNG. Anyway, I get out there (2 pizzas for this [censored] and his kids) and after driving around for about a half-hour trying to find the place, I see it...way in the back of this cul de sac with all the lights off.

Of course this was back when our shop had a 1-hour or it's free deal and I was pretty goddamned sure that the guy had deliberately done this to get some free pizza. I shuffled up to the door and, of course, this 6'2" goon opens the door in his underwear.

After shouting back at his kids for like 10 minute she looks at me and just says, "You're over. Pizza's free!"

Now ordinarily I wouldn't have a problem since it's usually our fault the pizza's late. But I wasn't having any of this. I got right up in the guy's face, "Listen [censored]. You blanked your house lights just so I couldn't find the place. I know the game here. You're going to pay me for these pizzas or I'm leaving right now."

20 minutes of back and forth and the guy finally paid up (after a couple of threats about getting cut-off from our pizza joint, which was the best St. Louis style pizza in the county). This was all well and good, but when I looked down at the cash in my hand I realized there was no tip.

This was the last straw. I'm generally a nice guy but I had had enough of this guy's antics. So I hit him. Right in the face. And he fell down. I couldn't stop at that point. I kept hitting him and hitting him until blood was everywhere, all over the pizzas and the coke bottles (I'd brought two of them since we were running a special on a "family pack" thing).

I think I knew I was in trouble when the guy stopped fighting me. I'm not a doctor by any means, but when he stopped breathing I seriously considered just leaving. Of course that would totally defeat the principle. Of course now I've got a dead guy in his entry way and a hysterical family on their way to see what the commotion was. I'd put the knife back in my pocket by that point but was trying to figure out where he might keep his tip money. I knew I was in more trouble when his wife and kids came up from the den.

I remember the woman wouldn't stop screaming. She held her kids back (to keep them from getting at the pizza) and went completely pale when I took out my Beretta.

I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. After the wife told me where the lunch money was, I did not kill her kids. I simply and calmly cut off her son's big toe and reminded her that I knew where she lived and would be back to finish them all off if they didn't pay for their pizza the next time.

Needless to say...I received a generous tip on subsequent visits.

[BusterStacks]

yeah, i was in high school and the delivery was after closing. the pizza wasn't cold or anything but she was fighting with her BF. Apparently the pizza had a wrong topping on it, but it was what we got from the call center so how are we supposed to know? I dunno, I don't do stuff like that often, but she was a real [censored] with no respect.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]


Look around the yard or take a quick peek when you are in the doorway and see if there is something you can comment on. Example, if they have a boat or motorcycle and you can talk about that, it might increase your tip.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im kinda funny in this regard, Ive delivered Pizza (awesome job) and was a waiter, so I've spent lots of time working for tips. But I never "chatted" with the customer. It effing annoys me when the pizza guy talks to me about dumb [censored], and I cant stand a waiter/waitress (unless shes cute) that has to try and join in on the convo. So when I was doing these jobs, I just did my job, and didnt talk to the customer unless they asked me a question or something. I ruitinely made more in tips than everyone else at both jobs. I think this was due in large part to the fact I wasn't annoying and was just polite and did my job.

I mentioned the "dirty dollar" and the $2 bill trick in another thead, this is really the only thing I ever did to get more tips, and that was only for cheap asses who didn't tip.

As far as revenge Ive never really done much of that. (tho I do give props to the poster who threw the brick through the window...good work). I had a guy and his family once sit down in my section and when I first went over to take their drink order, the guy pulls a $10 out of his wallet and sat it int he middle of the table and told me that was my tip if I did a good job, but he would take off for bad service. This just pissed me the hell off, which im sure a psycologist would have a field day with, anyway, I gave him the shittiest service ive ever given anyone. It was funny to, cuz the restraunt was pretty empty and I only had one other table (which I gave fantastic service to), so it was pretty obvious I was just being a dick, heh, I even took his drink on the one time I actually gave them refills (he had to flag me down for that), and didnt bring it back for like 10 minutes. Heh, the guy still left me a $1 tho, which I found shocking.

I've heard lots of good ones from coworkers, but I was never into any of that.

[tek]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


Look around the yard or take a quick peek when you are in the doorway and see if there is something you can comment on. Example, if they have a boat or motorcycle and you can talk about that, it might increase your tip.

[/ QUOTE ]

Im kinda funny in this regard, Ive delivered Pizza (awesome job) and was a waiter, so I've spent lots of time working for tips. But I never "chatted" with the customer. It effing annoys me when the pizza guy talks to me about dumb [censored], and I cant stand a waiter/waitress (unless shes cute) that has to try and join in on the convo.

[/ QUOTE ]

To each their own, but what is really bad (and is reflected in my tips when I'm the customer) is someone who is just a fukin doofus or a robot, either at the door or at the table...

[purnell]

I have the groovemarks to prove it.

[purnell]

Truthfully, I did this well enough to support myself for several years (and went through three cars doing it).

When I started, I used to get mad about cheap/no tips. But after a while I just decided that what they wanted to give me was all I was entitled to, and gave everyone a smile and treated them with respect.

I don't know if it was +EV, but I enjoyed my work much more after that.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
Leave all the $1's and coins in the car. Pull out all the $5's & $10's out of your pocket and say "I have to go get change--be right back." Most customers will say keep the change.

[/ QUOTE ]
If you tried to pull this stupid [censored] on me, I would give you exact change. If I thought of it quickly enough, I'd also take the time to go upstairs and grab all the change I could from the bedroom and pay the entire bill in nothing bigger than quarters.

[Jules22]

i usually just use dry sarcasm to reflect my unhappiness, but someone's dog once got the everloving BEEP beat out of it by me for trying to bite me when i was delivering.

[Voltron87]

I think he's safe with this tactic since most people he delivers to... aren't exactly rocket scientists.

[Piiop]

You beat up a dog?

[Homer]

Leave all the $1's and coins in the car. Pull out all the $5's & $10's out of your pocket and say "I have to go get change--be right back." Most customers will say keep the change.

I would make you go back to the car and not tip. What a [censored] obvious scam.

[CardSharpCook]

[ QUOTE ]
Truthfully, I did this well enough to support myself for several years (and went through three cars doing it).

When I started, I used to get mad about cheap/no tips. But after a while I just decided that what they wanted to give me was all I was entitled to, and gave everyone a smile and treated them with respect.

I don't know if it was +EV, but I enjoyed my work much more after that.

[/ QUOTE ]

Amen!!! I worked as a waiter for a bit while in school. If they don't want to tip me, who cares? That is about them, and not about me.

[lighterjobs]

I delivered pizzas last summer after I graduated from high school. it was an awesome job at first, but I had to quit after a couple of months because I went through three new sets of brakes and it was tearing up my car.

the only thing I would ever do to people that would never tip is I ALWAYS shook up their pops. and I don't mean I let them roll around in the seat, I dribbled them like basketballs.

there was one lady (worst customer ever) who never tipped, paid in change, wanted more parmesan and red peppers than i had etc and always had her dog in the front yard and wouldn't come to the door when it started barking like crazy, so I would leave. then she would call my work and tell them I was late to try and get free pizza and I would get in trouble from my boss since I was new. our delivery didn't start until 5pm and she ordered about $80 worth of pizza one night for a party she was having at around 4:50 and we forgot to make the pizza. she called in at 7 wondering where her stuff was so we were going to give it to her for free. when I got there she blew up on me worse than my mom has ever griped me out. not only did I keep the $80 she gave me instead of giving her the pizza for free, I threw a bowling pin through her back car window that weekend and hocked fat loogies in her cups of ranch dressing.

ps. did any delivery people ever spit in peoples food who pissed them off? I only did it once.

[on_thg]

[ QUOTE ]
One time my pizza was cold so I chased the delivery guy down the street and beat him with a 4 iron.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice club selection.

[Vince Young]

You have a pretty liberal definition of "scam."

[AEKDBet]

fluxrad's post brought joy back into my life.

[TeeJayORTj]

When we were like 14 me and my friend ordered 20 bucks worth of food and paid all in change. But we were nice about it and put it all in one dollar piles on the table. He wasnt too happy about that.

[EliteNinja]

[ QUOTE ]
I delivered pizzas last summer after I graduated from high school. it was an awesome job at first, but I had to quit after a couple of months because I went through three new sets of brakes and it was tearing up my car.

the only thing I would ever do to people that would never tip is I ALWAYS shook up their pops. and I don't mean I let them roll around in the seat, I dribbled them like basketballs.

there was one lady (worst customer ever) who never tipped, paid in change, wanted more parmesan and red peppers than i had etc and always had her dog in the front yard and wouldn't come to the door when it started barking like crazy, so I would leave. then she would call my work and tell them I was late to try and get free pizza and I would get in trouble from my boss since I was new. our delivery didn't start until 5pm and she ordered about $80 worth of pizza one night for a party she was having at around 4:50 and we forgot to make the pizza. she called in at 7 wondering where her stuff was so we were going to give it to her for free. when I got there she blew up on me worse than my mom has ever griped me out. not only did I keep the $80 she gave me instead of giving her the pizza for free, I threw a bowling pin through her back car window that weekend and hocked fat loogies in her cups of ranch dressing.

ps. did any delivery people ever spit in peoples food who pissed them off? I only did it once.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm never ordering delivery ever again.

[BadBoyBenny]

I would always get ten of the rattiest ones I could find and put them on the outside of the roll. I would spend a few extra minutes crinkling and adding small tears. After giving them their pizza I would pull out the roll and slowly peel off the dollar bills. This was especially effective for orders that would come out to 15 and some change or anything else that would require several ones. Most people would get a disappointed look on their face and tell me to keep the change.

There was a legend about one guy who used to work at the place before I did who once put plastic wrap over a fresh pizza, shat on the saran wrap, and then removed and discarded it and delivered the pie to the unsuspecting victim.

[purnell]

i've worked with some crazy [ /images/graemlins/blush.gif ]like that. Once the repo guy came to take a guys truck and he shot at him. The job is a psycho magnet, and it just gets worse from there.

[Jules22]

this thread makes me very very happy lol. its good.

[Yobz]

[ QUOTE ]

There was a legend about one guy who used to work at the place before I did who once put plastic wrap over a fresh pizza, shat on the saran wrap, and then removed and discarded it and delivered the pie to the unsuspecting victim.

[/ QUOTE ]

That was me, except no saran wrap. And the fresh pizza was your mom. OOOHHhh

I love your mom jokes... /images/graemlins/smile.gif