blatz
04-16-2005, 10:20 PM
For those of you from uncultured areas of the country, let me embiggen you, please.
You may have your fancy pants picture shows and your hoity-toity vaudeville for entertainment, whatever, we Louisiana folk make do with what we got...and what we got is the Angola Prison Rodeo...
YeeHaa
That's right city slickers, It's just like Stir Crazy, minus Gene Wilder and with stretechers.
Angola Prison, legendary refuge of the most dastardly varmints the south can raise. Population 5000, average incarceration time is 88 years, 68% of the population are lifers.
Well they've taken from society, taken plenty, so today is their time to give. "Give what", shallower folks would ask, "All they have is their flesh and blood."
To which we reply "Cool, we'll take it.
I get in the car on 2 hours sleep, getting stomped for 60 BB took awhile last night. My friends aunt is driving, so we would not have to drive drunk. So yeah, i was a might surprized when she turned around in the minivan and said, so who wants the coke and who wants the ecstacy?" Not the question I was expecting but it did lead to a rabid debate, solved when everyone decided they wanted everything.
Downed it all with a really gay Budweiser energy drink that I had to try to see how awful it was, (and it did in fact overexcede my expectations)and out of New Orleans we rode.
(The ecstacy sucked, didn't surprize me, it almost always does, and if my friends aunt had better connections than me, well my not very fragile ego would have been shattered.
When we drunkenly arrive, the most normal thing in the world awaits us. Prisoners in pens with all sorts of homemeade handicrafts on tables in front them. They've spent all year making wooden wishing wells, leather bible covers, pocketbooks with airbrushed pictures of Biggie Smalls, and copies of Angola, the game, and all this can easily be yours. Simply negotiate with said killer/rapist through the chain link cage, come to an equitable deal (I tend to be generous since they are in jail, and i make a living playing internet poker) and voila...miniature electric chair with "angola' and 'Old Sparky' engraved in is all mine.
Damn, all this drunk prison shopping make you hungry? Me too. Luckily there's the worlds tastiest deep fried Boudin Balls, and for the less squeamish, pig tails. For people not already wasted, there are cheeseburgers. Honestly, i skipped the pig tail.
Look at that, 2 PM already...7,000 happy folks, families, kids, young and old, all yelping happily for one thing...
Bring out them bulls and them prisoners and let the show begin...
(I just got a phone call, and I'm gonna drink a beer,if anyone cares I'll continue in a little while)
You may have your fancy pants picture shows and your hoity-toity vaudeville for entertainment, whatever, we Louisiana folk make do with what we got...and what we got is the Angola Prison Rodeo...
YeeHaa
That's right city slickers, It's just like Stir Crazy, minus Gene Wilder and with stretechers.
Angola Prison, legendary refuge of the most dastardly varmints the south can raise. Population 5000, average incarceration time is 88 years, 68% of the population are lifers.
Well they've taken from society, taken plenty, so today is their time to give. "Give what", shallower folks would ask, "All they have is their flesh and blood."
To which we reply "Cool, we'll take it.
I get in the car on 2 hours sleep, getting stomped for 60 BB took awhile last night. My friends aunt is driving, so we would not have to drive drunk. So yeah, i was a might surprized when she turned around in the minivan and said, so who wants the coke and who wants the ecstacy?" Not the question I was expecting but it did lead to a rabid debate, solved when everyone decided they wanted everything.
Downed it all with a really gay Budweiser energy drink that I had to try to see how awful it was, (and it did in fact overexcede my expectations)and out of New Orleans we rode.
(The ecstacy sucked, didn't surprize me, it almost always does, and if my friends aunt had better connections than me, well my not very fragile ego would have been shattered.
When we drunkenly arrive, the most normal thing in the world awaits us. Prisoners in pens with all sorts of homemeade handicrafts on tables in front them. They've spent all year making wooden wishing wells, leather bible covers, pocketbooks with airbrushed pictures of Biggie Smalls, and copies of Angola, the game, and all this can easily be yours. Simply negotiate with said killer/rapist through the chain link cage, come to an equitable deal (I tend to be generous since they are in jail, and i make a living playing internet poker) and voila...miniature electric chair with "angola' and 'Old Sparky' engraved in is all mine.
Damn, all this drunk prison shopping make you hungry? Me too. Luckily there's the worlds tastiest deep fried Boudin Balls, and for the less squeamish, pig tails. For people not already wasted, there are cheeseburgers. Honestly, i skipped the pig tail.
Look at that, 2 PM already...7,000 happy folks, families, kids, young and old, all yelping happily for one thing...
Bring out them bulls and them prisoners and let the show begin...
(I just got a phone call, and I'm gonna drink a beer,if anyone cares I'll continue in a little while)