Girls night out. Your g/f or wife wants to go...

[bernie]

We all know what happens when it's girls night out. We've been the guys they meet on these little innocent outings.

Are you happy when your significant other goes out on one of these? Even turns down your offer to go out with her and her friends.

b

[DrPublo]

Do you ever need a guys' night out? Beer and football, etc.

If so then you dont have much ground to stand on.

The Doc

[gumpzilla]

If you're looking for gender equity, I'm not sure OOT is the best place to start.

[Edge34]

The ladies need a night out now and then too. I trust my lady not to be hooking up with any other dudes - so what is there to worry about? Hell, these are the nights its easiest to get with the bros for some good old fashioned carousing.

As long as she's coming home to me, game on.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Do you ever need a guys' night out? Beer and football, etc.

If so then you dont have much ground to stand on.


[/ QUOTE ]

True. Except the environment for the girls night outs are a little bit more sexually tensioned than where guys go for a guys night out.

I mean, c'mon, would gals really go for their guys going to a club, getting loaded and dancing with chicks? Doubt it.

Girls night out doesn't mean going to one of their houses for a tupperware party or to watch Sex and the City.

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
The ladies need a night out now and then too. I trust my lady not to be hooking up with any other dudes - so what is there to worry about?

[/ QUOTE ]

So she's the one sitting there holding the coats while her friends are out grinding on a guy during a good driving techno beat?

b

[wacki]

No, I don't worry about it at all.

Of course, if it gets to the point where I'm worried about her cheating, its probably time for me to dump her anyway.

[Edge34]

Dancing's dancing. I'm not worried about that.

If she goes home with the guy, there will be hell to pay. But why stress out over that? Until I find a reason NOT to trust her - I'll trust her.

Trust is the basis of all good relationships. If I didn't trust the lady, I wouldn't be with her in the first place. Jealousy suits nobody.

[slickpoppa]

Let her go out, but maker her wear a chastity belt. She'll understand

[DrPublo]

Guys aren't going to a club, no, but guys are hitting on chicks, even subconciously, at whatever bar they wind up at. Or bowling alley. Or pool hall. In my experience, at least, when a bunch of guys are away from their significant others, it's as if everyone is single again and everything's fair game. How far individual guys will go with this varies, of course.

Let her have her fun. She'll appreciate you more when she comes back.

The Doc

[bernie]

Have you ever seen what happens on girls night out?

[ QUOTE ]
Until I find a reason NOT to trust her - I'll trust her.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is interesting. Since most gals wouldn't trust their partner to a night out like a girls night out. Think I'm wrong? They know what happens out there. The mere thought of someone dancing close with their man that they don't know would drive them nuts.

They'd likely let you go, with gritted teeth, followed up by the silent treatment for the rest of the weekend.

b

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]

Except the environment for the girls night outs are a little bit more sexually tensioned than where guys go for a guys night out.


[/ QUOTE ]

h o o t e r s

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Guys aren't going to a club, no, but guys are hitting on chicks, even subconciously,

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't there a big difference between doing it subconciously and using physical contact?

[ QUOTE ]
are away from their significant others, it's as if everyone is single again and everything's fair game. How far individual guys will go with this varies, of course.


[/ QUOTE ]

This goes both ways. It varies with women too.

b

[Edge34]

Have I ever seen what happens on girls night out? I'm sure I have. A bunch of women get together, go have some drinks, basically act like guys for the most part. Like I said, if she ain't cheatin', let her have her fun.

[ QUOTE ]
This is interesting. Since most gals wouldn't trust their partner to a night out like a girls night out. Think I'm wrong? They know what happens out there. The mere thought of someone dancing close with their man that they don't know would drive them nuts.

[/ QUOTE ]

They're women. They're gonna be jealous. Its genetic or something. Me? I'm just more relaxed about it all. The lady I'm with has my trust until she gives me a reason to doubt her. I'm not gonna be That Guy who gets all paranoid - OH NO, she might dance suggestively with guys and get a little tipsy with her friends.

Honesty and trust, my friend. Honesty and trust. If she cheats, it'll find its way back to me. But then again, like I said - I trust her not to. /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
h o o t e r s

[/ QUOTE ]

You're not dancing, bumping and grinding with the girls of hooters.

Btw...On a similar note, many girls detest the thought of their men going into a strip club.

b

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
h o o t e r s

[/ QUOTE ]

You're not dancing, bumping and grinding with the girls of hooters.

Btw...On a similar note, many girls detest the thought of their men going into a strip club.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

your comment about your girl not wanting you to go to a strip club is why i suggested hooters. sure, the waitresses are scantily clad, but they still have tops on.

[stankybank]

trust is very important in a relationship. it sounds like you lack some of this.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
A bunch of women get together, go have some drinks, basically act like guys for the most part

[/ QUOTE ]

Are they going to a dyke bar?

[ QUOTE ]
The lady I'm with has my trust until she gives me a reason to doubt her. I'm not gonna be That Guy who gets all paranoid - OH NO, she might dance suggestively with guys and get a little tipsy with her friends.

Honesty and trust, my friend. Honesty and trust. If she cheats, it'll find its way back to me. But then again, like I said - I trust her not to

[/ QUOTE ]

Why should this only work, as it generally does, 1 way then?

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
sure, the waitresses are scantily clad, but they still have tops on.


[/ QUOTE ]

What does it matter if you're not touching them whether they have their clothes on or not?

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Let her go out, but maker her wear a chastity belt. She'll understand

[/ QUOTE ]

How about the other 2 holes?

b

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
sure, the waitresses are scantily clad, but they still have tops on.


[/ QUOTE ]

What does it matter if you're not touching them whether they have their clothes on or not?

b

[/ QUOTE ]

well it seems like its the best you'll do for a guys night out without pissing off your girl (??)

[Edge34]

Dude,

You're really having trust issues, and it becomes more and more obvious with every reply. Well, its either that or you're pissed off that your woman doesn't let you go, and gets pissed when you say she shouldn't go.

SHOULD it work only one way? No. Thankfully, maybe I'm just one of the lucky ones who has a lady I trust and that trusts me back.

Like I said, as long as she's coming home to me at the end of the night, I'm not going to worry myself stupid over what she MIGHT do. What's the use?

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
trust is very important in a relationship. it sounds like you lack some of this

[/ QUOTE ]

Umm...Before you judge, I have not stated my personal opinion on this.

Merely throwing out 'common' scenarios. Both from what I've witnessed, heard, and been party too.

b

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
As long as she's coming home to me, game on.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is correct, as is just about everything else Edge has said in this thread.

[DrPublo]

Hannibal Lechter mask?

The Doc

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
well it seems like its the best you'll do for a guys night out without pissing off your girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Then why should it be okay for her to go out to a place where there will definitely be touching? Everyone's saying it's a trust issue. It's funny how it usually works. It's only a trust issue 1 way. You don't go to a place because it might piss her off, yet she doesn't mind going to essentially the same type, actually, more directly socially interactive place.

b

[bernie]

-

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
You're really having trust issues, and it becomes more and more obvious with every reply.

[/ QUOTE ]

As i mentioned in a response below, I haven't stated my opinion. If you can find an opinion of mine that says Im yay or nay for it, be my guest. Just common scenarios that do happen. Someone has to play devil's advocate.

I think it's an interesting topic. Especially if you've really seen just what happens. I probably should've put a post asking people if they've ever been part of what goes on on a girls night out.

b

[Bukem_]

Alot depends on who she is going out with. If its a bunch of her married girlfriends going to see a movie its no big deal.

If its her single friends and they are going to a club she is up to no good.

[JaBlue]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
well it seems like its the best you'll do for a guys night out without pissing off your girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Then why should it be okay for her to go out to a place where there will definitely be touching? Everyone's saying it's a trust issue. It's funny how it usually works. It's only a trust issue 1 way. You don't go to a place because it might piss her off, yet she doesn't mind going to essentially the same type, actually, more directly socially interactive place.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

what can i say, talk to her about it. girls dancing is a lot more innocent than you think

[morello]

Either you trust her or you don't. If you don't, then it's probably time to get out of the relationship.

If you do, then you shouldn't care where she goes. Unless, of course, you're the jealous "don't talk to another man" type of wife-beating husband.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
well it seems like its the best you'll do for a guys night out without pissing off your girl

[/ QUOTE ]

Then why should it be okay for her to go out to a place where there will definitely be touching? Everyone's saying it's a trust issue. It's funny how it usually works. It's only a trust issue 1 way. You don't go to a place because it might piss her off, yet she doesn't mind going to essentially the same type, actually, more directly socially interactive place.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

It's important for this trust issue to go both ways. If she gets all snippy about a "guys' night out" then you have every right to do the same to her. (Note that this should be resolved by _neither_ of you getting obnoxiously posessive, not by both of you doing so.)

[NLSoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
Let her go out, but maker her wear a chastity belt. She'll understand

[/ QUOTE ]

Chastity belts are so last week.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v301/kungfusandwich/ad.jpg

[bernie]

I'd love to see the video of the 'how to ' on this thing.

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Unless, of course, you're the jealous "don't talk to another man" type of wife-beating husband.


[/ QUOTE ]

Seems that there is quite a demand for that type of guy.

b

[jaxUp]

What edge said...all of it.

[touchfaith]

[ QUOTE ]
We all know what happens when it's girls night out. We've been the guys they meet on these little innocent outings.

Are you happy when your significant other goes out on one of these? Even turns down your offer to go out with her and her friends.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Give her the keys and some cash. Some day you will be begging her to get the hell out of the house once in a while.

[bernie]

-

[The Truth]

I agree the bar scene that girls go to is much more "sketchy" than a guys night out.

[KaneKungFu123]

Oh Brenda you gotta get out and have some fun. Greg is at home. Giggles. There are so many hot guys here. She doesnt normally drink so a few shots and she slopy as hell. Brenda, come on its time to go, stop giving that guy a hand job on the dance stage.... [ QUOTE ]
Alot depends on who she is going out with. If its a bunch of her married girlfriends going to see a movie its no big deal.

If its her single friends and they are going to a club she is up to no good.

[/ QUOTE ]

[FishNChips]

Warning... DWEEB ALERT!!!!

I married a woman whose definition of "girls night out" is dinner and a glass or two of wine with 2 or 3 close friends. Her idea of a girls weekend is a PalmSprings trip soaking up sun and dinners with 3glasses of wine.

She married a man whose definition of guys night out is either:
a - Poker until 1am
or
b - Hockey followed by a stop at the bar with the boys for a beer and home by 1am
or
c - no, that's about it....
and guys weekend is the SuperBowl in Vegas which means lots of driving, little sleep, lots of drinking, blackjack, poker, and more drinking.

With these definitions there is nothing to not trust .. perhaps I'm not qualified to respond?

FishNChips

[WDC]

I am estatic. I get a free night to play poker without hearing her complain and I also get a voucher for a fun pass of my own. BTW my wife's girls nights out are not nights of drunken debauchery so that makes it easier.

[Diplomat]

[ QUOTE ]
No, I don't worry about it at all.

Of course, if it gets to the point where I'm worried about her cheating, its probably time for me to dump her anyway.

[/ QUOTE ]

-Diplomat

[nickey009]

I personally don't like to dance. If my girl feels the need to get out there and dance a little with a bunch of guys....so be it. I'll drop her off at the club if she wants. What's the big deal? It's not like she loves me any less or is going home with one of them. She gets to dance and I get to play hours of online poker uninterupted.

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
I am estatic. I get a free night to play poker without hearing her complain and I also get a voucher for a fun pass of my own. BTW my wife's girls nights out are not nights of drunken debauchery so that makes it easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is what it comes down to. If you're with a woman who parties hard, is flirtatious and attractive, and so forth, you might trust her and still not enjoy her "girls night out". Communication and honesty is key. If you don't like her dancing all close with guys at a club while drunk, tell her that. If she sees that it means something to you, she won't do it. Reverse is true though. If she's really bothered by strip clubs etc you have to think of her as well. Its a balancing act that two people have to work on together.

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW my wife's girls nights out are not nights of drunken debauchery so that makes it easier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now I have to ask, am I in a lame relationship and have lame friends - since I am pretty sure the above applies to me as well. Who the heck has a girl friend/wife that DOES go out on a night of drunken debauchery with her friends? Isn't that what they do BEFORE they settle down with a siginificant other?

Who wants to step up and admit to:

1. Going out on a drunken "debaucherous" (sp?) guys night out.
2. Knowing their girl friends/wives do same.

EDIT: As an aside: I do go out with the guys to strip clubs, my wife can do same if she chooses. If she wants to go to a club and dancew, thats cool too - but it won't be "a night of drunken debauchery" - just a few drinks and dancing with her friends. I think this idea that if they go out and drink/dance, it will end up with their panties on a bathroom floor somewhere giving random guy head is ridiculous.

[chaas4747]

[ QUOTE ]
If she's really bothered by strip clubs etc you have to Say [censored] her .

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

[KaneKungFu123]

if you knew she also liked to feel up the other guys johnson while they danced, would you still be cool with it?

[ QUOTE ]
I personally don't like to dance. If my girl feels the need to get out there and dance a little with a bunch of guys....so be it. I'll drop her off at the club if she wants. What's the big deal? It's not like she loves me any less or is going home with one of them. She gets to dance and I get to play hours of online poker uninterupted.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
We all know what happens when it's girls night out. We've been the guys they meet on these little innocent outings.

[/ QUOTE ]

huh? you are one paranoid dude. Girls night out usually consists of sitting around cackling about husbands, not picking up dudes in bars. I bet no one here has a "so this chick was on a "girls night out" just looking to bang" story.

just cuz you see a group girls at a bar, doesnt mean its girls night out, it means they are a group of girls, who are at the bar. There is a big difference between the two

[knifeandfork]

bernie if she is going to cheat drunk she would cheat sober. if you are that offended by her dancing with other dudes you need to either relax or get a girl that wont dance because its really pretty harmless if she wants it to be. of all the women you have ever danced with how many did you sleep with? less than those you danced with is my guess and for most guys id say its a lot less. let her have fun relax man.

[VBM]

[ QUOTE ]
Give her the keys and some cash. Some day you will be begging her to get the hell out of the house once in a while.

[/ QUOTE ]

This person knows what he's talking about.

I begged my wife to do something i didn't have to get dragged out to, so she & her pals are going to dinner & "Miss Saigon." I can't tell you how much i'm looking forward to using the time at the Muck with my friends. :-)

I think a lot of times as well, girls, especially as they get older, going out now & again makes them enjoy staying in & nesting w/ their men more; they go out and realize they're surrounded by younger, more nubile chix and it's not their scene anymore...

[chaas4747]

One thing you need to realize is that any girl that walks into a bar can get laid if they choose to. Fact of life. I told my GF the other night. (she had been out with a girls night and a guy bought her a couple of drinks) I know that other men will see in her what I did, so how can I fault them for doing that. Like Edge said, I know where she is sleepin, if some dude wants to spend cash on her that is cool with me.

[gamblore99]

I'm only 20, but isn't something wrong if you can't trust your wife 100%?

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
We all know what happens when it's girls night out. We've been the guys they meet on these little innocent outings.

Are you happy when your significant other goes out on one of these? Even turns down your offer to go out with her and her friends.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, I beg my girl to go out with her friends.

Let go of the leash man.

[tech]

[ QUOTE ]
Are you happy when your significant other goes out on one of these?

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as someone who has been married eight years, I highly encourage these types of outings.

[CCass]

My wife wants a "girls night out" where she can eat a quiet meal without kids and enjoy being with her friends. I want to go to Vegas and play poker for 48 hours straight. If she trusts me in Vegas, I gotta trust her in O'Charlie's.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
huh? you are one paranoid dude. Girls night out usually consists of sitting around cackling about husbands, not picking up dudes in bars. I bet no one here has a "so this chick was on a "girls night out" just looking to bang" story

[/ QUOTE ]

What planet are you living on?

Have you ever been to a hot, meat market of a club and seen how some married women act? Apparently not.

Btw, this goes up exponentially in bars on military bases.

b

[banditbdl]

[ QUOTE ]
girls dancing is a lot more innocent than you think

[/ QUOTE ]

To the girls maybe, but it usually isn't that innocent in the mind (or pants) of the guy at the club who is grinding with her.

[LALDAAS]

Bah take a pill. Trust and thou shall be trusted.

I tell my girl I am going to the go-go she doesnt get all pissy.

In fact she goes with me and the boys every now and again.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
huh? you are one paranoid dude. Girls night out usually consists of sitting around cackling about husbands, not picking up dudes in bars. I bet no one here has a "so this chick was on a "girls night out" just looking to bang" story

[/ QUOTE ]

What planet are you living on?

Have you ever been to a hot, meat market of a club and seen how some married women act? Apparently not.

Btw, this goes up exponentially in bars on military bases.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats not a girls night out, thats some hoebag out with her friends.

Girls want a girls night out because they want female companionship, they want to soak in estrogen, they dont want to go to some bar and hit on dudes. Thats the reason they wanted a girls night out in the first place, they are tired of testosterone.

Like I said, there is a difference between a girls night out, and a slutty married woman who happens to be at the bar with her friends.

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
girls dancing is a lot more innocent than you think

[/ QUOTE ]

To the girls maybe, but it usually isn't that innocent in the mind (or pants) of the guy at the club who is grinding with her.

[/ QUOTE ]

So, he isnt the one you are married to.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
To the girls maybe, but it usually isn't that innocent in the mind (or pants) of the guy at the club who is grinding with her.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
So, he isnt the one you are married to

[/ QUOTE ]

If there's nothing wrong with it, do it in front of your hubby/b:f when he goes out dancing with you.

b

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
To the girls maybe, but it usually isn't that innocent in the mind (or pants) of the guy at the club who is grinding with her.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
So, he isnt the one you are married to

[/ QUOTE ]

If there's nothing wrong with it, do it in front of your hubby/b:f when he goes out dancing with you.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

When I go dancing with a GF, I don't care if shes out dancing with other guys. I also dont care if the other guy is thinking about [censored] her, im smart enough to realize that every guy in the place is thinking about [censored] her. So what? Bottom line is that at the end of the night shes coming home with me.

Girls arent like guys, you or I couldnt go grind on some girl and NOT be thinking about how good it would be to stick it in her, girls are much different. To them its just fun to be out dancing, they arent thinking about [censored] every guy they come across.

You really need to work on your jealousy issues, most girls dont like to be smothered

[ddollevoet]

Sounds to me like YOU are cheating on your woman and are afraid that she may run into someone like YOU when she is out with the girls.

Am I far from the truth???

[Felix_Nietsche]

........BE A MAN and dump her fast!

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats not a girls night out, thats some hoebag out with her friends

[/ QUOTE ]

It's actually very common.

[ QUOTE ]
Like I said, there is a difference between a girls night out, and a slutty married woman who happens to be at the bar with her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]



The slutty married woman who's at a bar with her friend, they call it a girls night out.

[ QUOTE ]
they dont want to go to some bar and hit on dudes.

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't tell me you've never seen this in a club or deny that it goes on. Actually, they go there to 'be' hit on by dudes and compare themselves to the other women around.

It should be painfully obvious in this thread that we are talking about your S.O. going to a meatmarket with his/her friends. In fact, I think I even specified this wasnt a tupperware party or a Sex and the City viewing party.

Btw...I don't see this as a trust issue.

b

[BottlesOf]

[ QUOTE ]
Even turns down your offer to go out with her and her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

You would want to go on this?

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]


[ QUOTE ]
Like I said, there is a difference between a girls night out, and a slutty married woman who happens to be at the bar with her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]



The slutty married woman who's at a bar with her friend, they call it a girls night out.

[/ QUOTE ]

no they don't. Thats just what she told her SO so she could go out and cheat on him.

[ QUOTE ]

Btw...I don't see this as a trust issue.

[/ QUOTE ]

so far you are the only person in this thread who doesn't see it that way. But hey, im sure ALL of us are wrong.

[ddollevoet]

[ QUOTE ]
Btw...I don't see this as a trust issue.

[/ QUOTE ]

ROLFLMAO!!!! Everyone else does.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
You really need to work on your jealousy issues,

[/ QUOTE ]

Once again, I haven't stated one way or the other where I stand on this issue, nor how I handle it if the situation comes up. If you can find that in this thread, feel free to post it.

I'm merely putting scenarios out from one side of the story that many, including you, seem to deny happens or is a possibility given the environment involved. You even denied (further down) if anyone has ever been part or seen that type of thing happen. I can tell you from first hand experience, it does.

b

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Even turns down your offer to go out with her and her friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

You would want to go on this?

[/ QUOTE ]

your missing the point. He offered because hes jealous and has to follow her around cuz he doesnt trust her, not cuz he actually wants to hang out with her and her friends

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You really need to work on your jealousy issues,

[/ QUOTE ]

Once again, I haven't stated one way or the other where I stand on this issue, nor how I handle it if the situation comes up. If you can find that in this thread, feel free to post it.

I'm merely putting scenarios out from one side of the story that many, including you, seem to deny happens or is a possibility given the environment involved. You even denied (further down) if anyone has ever been part or seen that type of thing happen. I can tell you from first hand experience, it does.

b

[/ QUOTE ]

riiiight, its the whole "I have this *cough* uhm, friend" ruitine.....carry on then

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds to me like YOU are cheating on your woman and are afraid that she may run into someone like YOU when she is out with the girls.

Am I far from the truth???

[/ QUOTE ]

Not even close.

But I do agree. A guy/girl who is overly paranoid about a guy/girl cheating is usually either very controlling, or is hiding something himself/herself.

b

[TimM]

I'd let her go, unconditionally. If I don't get the same when I want to do something, there's going to be a problem though.

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
I can tell you from first hand experience, it does

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
riiiight, its the whole "I have this *cough* uhm, friend" ruitine.....carry on then

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you know what first hand experience means?

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats just what she told her SO so she could go out and cheat on him.


[/ QUOTE ]

It's not quite that black and white. Some are not intending to cheat, but get caught up in the situation which is more prevelant in that type of environment.

[ QUOTE ]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Btw...I don't see this as a trust issue.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



so far you are the only person in this thread who doesn't see it that way. But hey, im sure ALL of us are wrong

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't say it was wrong, did I? It's not a matter of right or wrong. Sure, trust is involved. Is that all there is?

I'm saying there's a whole 'nother side that no one has brought up. So far, everyone is putting it all on the person staying behind. Isn't there another side?

b

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
ROLFLMAO!!!! Everyone else does

[/ QUOTE ]

See my answer to Alobar above.

b

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]


So far, everyone is putting it all on the person staying behind. Isn't there another side?


[/ QUOTE ]

You mean the side with the chick who just wants to go out with her friends?


Obviously you are pretty adament about this, so it doesnt matter what I or anyone else says, but if you are believing all the stuff you are saying, then you definately have trust issues.

[Phoenix1010]

Bernie, pretty much everything you've said in this thread echoes my own sentiments. That said, it's pretty clear that Edge and others are correct. For me it's more an issue of jealousy than trust. I have every reason to trust my girlfriend, and I really do to a point, but it's hard for me to swallow her doing anything with another guy. I know that my girlfriend respects me, and that if any guy were to hit on her she would turn him down quickly as a result of that respect. But the mere thought of a guy flirting with my girl, or dancing with my girl, or trying to get with my girl, just drives me crazy with jealousy. It's a possessive state of mind that is really unhealthy, and it's something I think a lot of guys need to work on, myself included. It doesn't have to do with her actions any more than her innocently putting herself in a situation where it's unclear to other guys that she's my girlfriend, and to try to keep her out of all of those situations is beyond controlling. If you feel that you can't trust your girl to the point where you think she might not automatically shrug off some other guy who makes a move, then there's a much bigger problem in the relationship.

As far as her going out and dancing with other guys... I don't think I'll ever evolve to the point where I can accept that. She can have fun, but she doesn't need to grind with some random dude to do it. I know most dancing is innocent, but it's always physical, and yeah, my possessive mind declares the realm of male-female physical contact with my girl specifically my domain, and I don't think that's changing.

I do agree that there's a double standard... but there are many double standards when it comes to gender roles. no, it is not acceptable for a man in a relationship to go out and do half the stuff girls do on their 'girls night out,' but maybe each couple should have a talk about the kinds of things that each finds acceptable when the other goes out with their friends. If it's a strong relationship it can be really helpful to get these things out in the open, since it's usually something that one or the other has some relatively important feelings about.

Anyway, there's my case, it may not be similar to yours or anyone's, but perhaps it's helpful.

-Phoenix

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
You mean the side with the chick who just wants to go out with her friends?

[/ QUOTE ]

Not 'just' go out with her friends. Go out with her friends to a meatmarket club.

[ QUOTE ]
Obviously you are pretty adament about this, so it doesnt matter what I or anyone else says, but if you are believing all the stuff you are saying

[/ QUOTE ]

I am adamant that this stuff does happen. I know it does. That's the only thing Im diagreeing with anyone on in this thread.

It's also very easy to just beat your chest and say, im macho enough to handle this, like you're the only one involved here and it's all up to you that this situation even came up. There are 2 principles at work here.

I was mistaken earlier. Some in this thread have touched upon the factor other than trust. The trust issue only works one way. Toward the person staying home. Isn't there any claim to be taken for a possible situation by the other person?

But then again, according to you, nothing ever happens in a meatmarket involving married people with the other person at home. Which makes me wonder if you've ever been in one of those places.

[ QUOTE ]
then you definately have trust issues.

[/ QUOTE ]

This has nothing to do with how I feel about the situation nor have I said how I would handle it. I'm presenting my view of these types of places from experience with those places.


b

[bernie]

I have to take off right now but I wanted to mark this post to try and address it later on. It's a great post.

Only 1 issue with it

[ QUOTE ]
It doesn't have to do with her actions any more than her innocently putting herself in a situation where it's unclear to other guys that she's my girlfriend,

[/ QUOTE ]

In the environment Im talking about, the term 'innocently putting herself in a situation', unless she's a complete dimbulb who's lived in a bubble, doesn't apply.

b

[Phoenix1010]

I should also have prefaced my statement by saying that I am 21 years old in a long standing relationship with a 21 year old girl, on a college campus where crazy drinking in bars and clubs is the main weekend activity and is pretty much all that would go on at a girls/guys/everybody's night out. So i can only speak for that demographic. I have no idea how these issues apply to people who have been married for 10 years, but I still say that discussing things is worthwhile.

Also, it seems that Bernie is trying to lean people towards discussing what kind of factors go into a woman feeling the need to go out and do the debaucherous things that go on at a GNO (I could be way off on this). Like why does she need to go out away from her boyfriend/husband and do things she would never do if he were with her, under the guise of female bonding. It could very easily be that she just likes to drink and dance, and thinks it would be fun to hang only with her girlfriends for a change. It could be that she is frustrated in the relationship and needs some sort of outlet away from her significant other. It could also be that she has been in the relationship for so long that she wants to relive what it was like to be single, if only for a night. I think it's an interesting question. I think determining the answer from the outside depends mostly on what the woman's motives are for the night, which is something that should be well known to both parties. It's also likely different for many women.

-Phoenix

[wacki]

bernie,

Alobar is right. Let it go. All you need to do is let the girl how strongly you feel about cheating. If she values your relaltionship, and you are loyal (and she knows it), you have nothing to worry about. If she fucks up, you got off easy because it didn't take 10 years of marriage for you to find out. [censored] happens, just relaxe and go with the flow.

Now if there is a history of cheating between you two, then it's a whole different issue we need to talk about.

[jakethebake]

I sincerely wish my longterm girlfriend would go out for the occasional night of drunkness. It would make my life so much easier. She doesn't complain, but it would be nice to pre-empt her occasional gripes with evidence of equal guilt.

Note--she trust me just fine, when I come home at seven in the morning she knows exactly where I've been.

[Lawrence Ng]

My ex's girl's night out was like this...

4 or 5 girls together, meet up for dinner and drinks, talk about life, talk about guys, talk about jobs, talk about guys, talk about how fat they are, talk about guys, talk about families, talk about the really cute waiter..

Have a few more drinks through the night..

Talk more about guys, talk about their ex's, talk about sex, talk more about the cute waiter..

My girl comes back..drunk, horny and then fcks my brains out.

I'm a happy man.

Long live girl's night out.

Lawrence

[thirddan]

but was she thinking about the waiter?

[jaybee_70]

What kind of woman is your wife. In girls night out there is a range from reserved, obviously faithful, slightly embarrassed wife, to I'm going to get revenge on my husband by doing any man willing in the bathroom chick. Will her friends get her in trouble or look out for her best interests? But, it all comes down to, if you can't trust her why are you together?

Joe

[BottlesOf]

I got it, I just still can't believe he'd rather do that than stay at home and worry.