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View Full Version : Locating children from past one-night-stands...


touchfaith
04-13-2005, 04:05 AM
...a good idea?

Alobar
04-13-2005, 04:06 AM
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...a good idea?

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what makes you sure youve got kids from these one night stands?

Or do you mean you had some one night stands with some children, and you wanna see how they turned out now that they are all grown up? /images/graemlins/smile.gif

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:12 AM
never...if she wanted u to know she woulda found u somehow. Just b/c u spread ur seed doesnt make u a "father" years later

JaBlue
04-13-2005, 04:15 AM
how many children are you raising as a result of one night stands?

Alobar
04-13-2005, 04:16 AM
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never...if she wanted u to know she woulda found u somehow. Just b/c u spread ur seed doesnt make u a "father" years later

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This is crap....you have every right to know about the kid, weather she wants you to or not.

touchfaith
04-13-2005, 04:19 AM
I cannot confirm nor deny the existance of said children (or their respective mothers ages) at this time.

Just looking for a little karma and maybe some +EV...



...oops, I mean...I'm doing my taxes

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:21 AM
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never...if she wanted u to know she woulda found u somehow. Just b/c u spread ur seed doesnt make u a "father" years later

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Actually it does.

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:23 AM
no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it.

And if u left and didnt care for years no she isnt obligated to track u down and find u and inform u...if she asks...sure she should not lie...but its not her job

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:24 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really this retarded? I have DNA on my side, how about you?

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:25 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you really this retarded? I have DNA on my side, how about you?

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notice the quotations...ur NO father to that child...it is genetically linked to u...NOTHING more...u never cared for that child...its ur genes but ur not its father

Alobar
04-13-2005, 04:25 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it.

And if u left and didnt care for years no she isnt obligated to track u down and find u and inform u...if she asks...sure she should not lie...but its not her job

[/ QUOTE ]

This is completely true....but you still have the right to know about it

ilya
04-13-2005, 04:27 AM
sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

touchfaith
04-13-2005, 04:27 AM
wait wait wait...hold the phone and back the bus up

You mean...if I take the effort to find these little (or hey...not so little) ones, take them to Disney Land, win them a big stuffed animal and proceed to promptly right them off on my taxes...that I cannot force them to call me "Daddy"??

This is turning sour fast...I need to rethink this.

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:29 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it.

And if u left and didnt care for years no she isnt obligated to track u down and find u and inform u...if she asks...sure she should not lie...but its not her job

[/ QUOTE ]

This is completely true....but you still have the right to know about it

[/ QUOTE ]

i never said u didnt....but like i said...its not her responsibility to track down the guy and tell him - in noway shape or form. If he asks then i agree tell him, but after "x" number of years and depending on the situation i will fight him legally with everything i have to keep him away from my child...AGAIN depending on the situation...im not gonna type them ALL out right now...but im sure ill get attacked and have to later. If he is willing to be reasonable about it and the situation is safe and/or stable he may have limited access to my child to "begin" with

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:30 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:31 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it.

And if u left and didnt care for years no she isnt obligated to track u down and find u and inform u...if she asks...sure she should not lie...but its not her job

[/ QUOTE ]

This is completely true....but you still have the right to know about it

[/ QUOTE ]

i never said u didnt....but like i said...its not her responsibility to track down the guy and tell him - in noway shape or form. If he asks then i agree tell him, but after "x" number of years and depending on the situation i will fight him legally with everything i have to keep him away from my child...AGAIN depending on the situation...im not gonna type them ALL out right now...but im sure ill get attacked and have to later

[/ QUOTE ]

Seems pretty selfish. Ever think the child would want to know? Or does that not matter to you either?

touchfaith
04-13-2005, 04:31 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

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No, I have never married any of said suspected possibly existant children...In this country

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:34 AM
Well damn if you just want someone to call you "daddy" get a girlfriend/hooker. Bonus with the hooker: if you feed her afterwards you might be able to declare her a dependent, in some of the more liberal states (check local statutes).

Cody

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:36 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it.

And if u left and didnt care for years no she isnt obligated to track u down and find u and inform u...if she asks...sure she should not lie...but its not her job

[/ QUOTE ]

This is completely true....but you still have the right to know about it

[/ QUOTE ]

i never said u didnt....but like i said...its not her responsibility to track down the guy and tell him - in noway shape or form. If he asks then i agree tell him, but after "x" number of years and depending on the situation i will fight him legally with everything i have to keep him away from my child...AGAIN depending on the situation...im not gonna type them ALL out right now...but im sure ill get attacked and have to later

[/ QUOTE ]

Seems pretty selfish. Ever think the child would want to know? Or does that not matter to you either?

[/ QUOTE ]

i said depending on circumstances...and i would never keep this from my child...he would prolly already know by age 8...i feel its better to tell them young so they dont resent u later, but no man is just gonna walk into the picture and take anything over b/c he is having a midlife crisis - feels remorseful - or loney about his past and want a part in something he hasnt been a part of. I would have to know what he was like, if he planned on working WITH me on the issue, etc etc

ilya
04-13-2005, 04:38 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

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what do you call it then, just child support?

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:38 AM
I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:39 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

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what do you call it then, just child support?

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I am pretty sure, yes.

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:39 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

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what do you call it then, just child support?

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yes...alimony is from spouse to spouse of a marriage - like say a wife is used to a certain standard of living, you divorce her, she wants to maintain her previous living standards, you are found at fault (say cheating) - you pay alimony

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:42 AM
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

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im not a man hater in the least...i just stated my opinion on the issue all the way, b/c its always attacked. If he wants to know fine, but if he wants a part in that childs life x number of years later thats a form of taking part of its life over (by just SHARING anything with my child)

ilya
04-13-2005, 04:42 AM
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sure, if you enjoy paying alimony.

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I don't think its alimony?

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what do you call it then, just child support?

[/ QUOTE ]

yes...alimony is from spouse to spouse of a marriage - like say a wife is used to a certain standard of living, you divorce her, she wants to maintain her previous living standards, you are found at fault (say cheating) - you pay alimony

[/ QUOTE ]

that's good to know, thanks. i'll have to remember to keep my standard of living low if i ever get married, just in case.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:42 AM
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you are found at fault

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Or often times, found guilty of possession of a penis.
Solution: Move to Indiana (or another applicable state) with no alimony.

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:43 AM
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[/ QUOTE ]

If he wants to know fine, but if he wants a part in that childs life x number of years later thats a form of taking part of its life over (by just SHARING anything with my child)

[/ QUOTE ]

Again you are selfish. It is his child as well.

touchfaith
04-13-2005, 04:44 AM
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, no, defintely do not want to take anything over...So far, best I can tell from my posts, I am just looking for...

Karma
+EV
A tax write-off
Someone to call me "Daddy"

I am no home wrecker!

FishBurger
04-13-2005, 04:45 AM
For tax purposes, I think the IRS guidelines say to assume that every one night stand spawned at least one offspring.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:45 AM
As I understand it, she is refering to the fact that up until now, said "father" has not put in any work in raising the child, and as such, shouldn't be entitled to reap the rewards.
No agrument concerning the genetic link however.

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:45 AM
[ QUOTE ]
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, no, defintely do not want to take anything over...So far, best I can tell from my posts, I am just looking for...

Karma
+EV
A tax write-off
Someone to call me "Daddy"

I am no home wrecker!

[/ QUOTE ]

You are getting harder and harder to defend.

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:46 AM
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[/ QUOTE ]

If he wants to know fine, but if he wants a part in that childs life x number of years later thats a form of taking part of its life over (by just SHARING anything with my child)

[/ QUOTE ]

Again you are selfish. It is his child as well.

[/ QUOTE ]

knocking someone up doesnt make u a father

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:46 AM
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As I understand it, she is refering to the fact that up until now, said "father" has not put in any work in raising the child, and as such, shouldn't be entitled to reap the rewards.
No agrument concerning the genetic link however.

Cody

[/ QUOTE ]

Was he supposed to know she was pregnant by mind reading?

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:47 AM
Peachy, please add "responsable" before the word father in your posts, I think that will clear some of this mess up.

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:47 AM
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I find odd that you assumed the guy would want to "take anything over" when it was never mentioned in the OP or by anyone else. I get the feeling you are somewhat of a man-hater.

[/ QUOTE ]

If he wants to know fine, but if he wants a part in that childs life x number of years later thats a form of taking part of its life over (by just SHARING anything with my child)

[/ QUOTE ]

Again you are selfish. It is his child as well.

[/ QUOTE ]

knocking someone up doesnt make u a father

[/ QUOTE ]

Getting knocked up doesn't make someone the end all and be all of all parental decisions.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:48 AM
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Was he supposed to know she was pregnant by mind reading?

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Nope, but he could try a telephone.

Cody

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:48 AM
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Getting knocked up doesn't make someone the end all and be all of all parental decisions.

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Legally, it damn near does. (Not that I agree).

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:49 AM
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Was he supposed to know she was pregnant by mind reading?

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Nope, but he could try a telephone.

Cody

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Since she is the one with the knowledge don't you think it would have been much easier and more logical for her to pick up the phone?

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:50 AM
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As I understand it, she is refering to the fact that up until now, said "father" has not put in any work in raising the child, and as such, shouldn't be entitled to reap the rewards.
No agrument concerning the genetic link however.

Cody

[/ QUOTE ]

Was he supposed to know she was pregnant by mind reading?

[/ QUOTE ]

no...by sticking semi around. If she doesnt know him well its not her job to track him down. He didnt care enough about a relationship with her to make her even a casual friend, he didnt take responsibility for his "actions" at the time of him pleasing himself, so its not her job to track him down all over and inform him shes pregnant - and chances r he wont care at that time and will be more worried about playing child support. If he asks, sure tell him, if he wants to play a role later, try and work with him on it, but in noway am i compromising my childs mentatliy b/c someone is having a regret or is wondering. He is not a "father", he is a walking sperm donor.

And the HE and HIM in this is NOT addressing the original poster, just a HE in general!

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:50 AM
Logical: Yup. Practical: Not always. People are emotional creatures, she may be feeling like if he doesn't want her he won't want their child. Not saying it's right but it may be the case anyway. In that case, he should try to locate her, if for no other reason than attempting to care for the life he created.

Cody

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:52 AM
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Peachy, please add "responsable" before the word father in your posts, I think that will clear some of this mess up.

Cody

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its 5am....i cant be perfect!! im barely that at 5pm!!

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:53 AM
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no...by sticking semi around. If she doesnt know him well its not her job to track him down. He didnt care enough about a relationship with her to make her even a casual friend, he didnt take responsibility for his "actions" at the time of him pleasing himself,

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Seems like someone has been hurt.
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so its not her job to track him down all over and inform him shes pregnant

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I disagree
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- and chances r he wont care at that time and will be more worried about playing child support. If he asks, sure tell him, if he wants to play a role later, try and work with him on it, but in noway am i compromising my childs mentatliy b/c someone is having a regret or is wondering. He is not a "father", he is a walking sperm donor.

And the HE and HIM in this is NOT addressing the original poster, just a HE in general!

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Ya I think your opinions of guys in general is pretty clear. Good luck with all that.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:53 AM
Haha, I suppose I can understand, what with it being 4am here and all, but it just seems to me that you aren't really disagreeing with him on how to handle the child, just on what level of commitment the man has. Or not, either way it's still too freakin early.

Cody

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:55 AM
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no...by sticking semi around. If she doesnt know him well its not her job to track him down. He didnt care enough about a relationship with her to make her even a casual friend, he didnt take responsibility for his "actions" at the time of him pleasing himself,

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Seems like someone has been hurt.
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so its not her job to track him down all over and inform him shes pregnant

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I disagree
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- and chances r he wont care at that time and will be more worried about playing child support. If he asks, sure tell him, if he wants to play a role later, try and work with him on it, but in noway am i compromising my childs mentatliy b/c someone is having a regret or is wondering. He is not a "father", he is a walking sperm donor.

And the HE and HIM in this is NOT addressing the original poster, just a HE in general!

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Ya I think your opinions of guys in general is pretty clear. Good luck with all that.

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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt. My best friend can hurt me more than any guy ive dated, its just how i am, and i have been in a few serious relationships, so dont even say thats the reason why, and yes i cared alot about them, i just chose to handle it a certain way and moved on. So my luck with guys is just fine and i dont have a bad view of them, i like them just fine, along with my one night stands. But my view on this issue is what it is

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:56 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

peachy
04-13-2005, 04:58 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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if u say so...but for those who know me on here...im sure they will agree with that i dont get hurt very easily and not often, and if i do...it doesnt last long

[censored]
04-13-2005, 04:59 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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There is one other possibilty as well but it is really insulting.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 04:59 AM
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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself

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Yeah, I don't know you Peach, so I do apologize if this is way off base, but that statment just reeks of denieal

Alobar
04-13-2005, 04:59 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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Neet, it looks like you ARE a mind reader, how else would you know how peachy really feels. Guess that means you will in fact have to call the girl after all, since you'll know shes preggo and all

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 05:00 AM
Oh oh, say it, say it.

Cody

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:00 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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There is one other possibilty as well but it is really insulting.

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u can say it...im sure i know what ur gonna say. I said i had no problem with guys - Im a spoiled ice princess - its kind of a given not to have a problem in the guy area

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:00 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

if u say so...but for those who know me on here...im sure they will agree with that i dont get hurt very easily and not often, and if i do...it doesnt last long

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure you are very good at hiding it.

You sound like a girl who was either abondoned by her father and/or sexually abused.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 05:01 AM
While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:02 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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Neet, it looks like you ARE a mind reader, how else would you know how peachy really feels. Guess that means you will in fact have to call the girl after all, since you'll know shes preggo and all

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I am in fact capable of reading minds.

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:02 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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if u say so...but for those who know me on here...im sure they will agree with that i dont get hurt very easily and not often, and if i do...it doesnt last long

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure you are very good at hiding it.

You sound like a girl who was either abondoned by her father and/or sexually abused.

[/ QUOTE ]

thanks mister psych 101, u gonna charge me for ur faulty diagnosis?

Alobar
04-13-2005, 05:04 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

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The only person qualified to say how they feel, is that person themselves, anything else is just conjecture.

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:04 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

[/ QUOTE ]

Read her statement again about the guy bailing, and not wanting even a casual friendship etc. Does that seem like someone who does not get hurt?

I am willing to reduce my statement by 10%.

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:05 AM
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no...i have never been "hurt" bad by guys...im just emotionally wired that way - not to get hurt.

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I can assure you 100% that you are kidding yourself.

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if u say so...but for those who know me on here...im sure they will agree with that i dont get hurt very easily and not often, and if i do...it doesnt last long

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure you are very good at hiding it.

You sound like a girl who was either abondoned by her father and/or sexually abused.

[/ QUOTE ]

thanks mister psych 101, u gonna charge me for ur faulty diagnosis?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes a party or neteller transfer will do fine.

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 05:05 AM
I agree with your ideas in this thread for the most part, and to some extent agree with your assessment of her issue with guys, I was only objecting to the verbage.

Cody

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:06 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

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The only person qualified to say how they feel, is that person themselves, anything else is just conjecture.

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Dude, you honestly think I am sitting her trying to give a serious analysis?

Richard Tanner
04-13-2005, 05:07 AM
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The only person qualified to say how they feel, is that person themselves, anything else is just conjecture.

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Not true, people betray their true feelings all the time in convorsation. Although I suppose one could say that without conformatino anything is conjecture, I would argue that the outside assessments may still be correct.

Cody

Alobar
04-13-2005, 05:09 AM
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Dude, you honestly think I am sitting her trying to give a serious analysis?

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actually....yeah. And since we are all obviously qualified to tell other people how they really feel, I can now say

"I am 100% sure, this is exactly what you are trying to do"

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:10 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

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Read her statement again about the guy bailing, and not wanting even a casual friendship etc. Does that seem like someone who does not get hurt?

I am willing to reduce my statement by 10%.

[/ QUOTE ]

im saying...if he doesnt even care to keep contact...then im not hunting him down, if i have his number sure ill call, but its not my job. It doesnt hurt me he doesnt wanna stay in touch lol im saying IF he didnt then its not my fault! If he didnt stay "causal friends" i would assume he didnt care, therefore i dont care enough to hunt him down

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:12 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

[/ QUOTE ]



Read her statement again about the guy bailing, and not wanting even a casual friendship etc. Does that seem like someone who does not get hurt?

I am willing to reduce my statement by 10%.

[/ QUOTE ]

im saying...if he doesnt even care to keep contact...then im not hunting him down, if i have his number sure ill call, but its not my job. It doesnt hurt me he doesnt wanna stay in touch lol im saying IF he didnt then its not my fault! If he didnt stay "causal friends" i would assume he didnt care, therefore i dont care enough to hunt him down

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OK so you go to some party, you get drunk, hook up with some dude previously unknown to you. Afterwards you go your seperate ways. Are you saying this guy should be making effors to keep a casual friendship?

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:15 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

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Read her statement again about the guy bailing, and not wanting even a casual friendship etc. Does that seem like someone who does not get hurt?

I am willing to reduce my statement by 10%.

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im saying...if he doesnt even care to keep contact...then im not hunting him down, if i have his number sure ill call, but its not my job. It doesnt hurt me he doesnt wanna stay in touch lol im saying IF he didnt then its not my fault! If he didnt stay "causal friends" i would assume he didnt care, therefore i dont care enough to hunt him down

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OK so you go to some party, you get drunk, hook up with some dude previously unknown to you. Afterwards you go your seperate ways. Are you saying this guy should be making effors to keep a casual friendship?

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no not at ALL...im saying that it is NOT my responsibilty to track him down if we were perfect strangers and tell him im pregnant is my point (if he was a friend of a friend of a friend i would attempt to maybe let him know in a "i dont care if u want to take part or not, im having a baby just so u know" kinda way) Personally i could care less about my hook ups, it was for fun, one nite, sex, nothing more. If he wants to make it more and find me later down the road thats up to him, but i have a large say so in what interaction he has with my child as its mother (based on what he whats and the person he is)

[censored]
04-13-2005, 05:20 AM
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While I disagree with his affixing of the "100%" tag to his assertion, I'm willing to bet that the odds of his statement being true are better than 51% (i.e. I think he's right more often than not)

Cody

[/ QUOTE ]



Read her statement again about the guy bailing, and not wanting even a casual friendship etc. Does that seem like someone who does not get hurt?

I am willing to reduce my statement by 10%.

[/ QUOTE ]

im saying...if he doesnt even care to keep contact...then im not hunting him down, if i have his number sure ill call, but its not my job. It doesnt hurt me he doesnt wanna stay in touch lol im saying IF he didnt then its not my fault! If he didnt stay "causal friends" i would assume he didnt care, therefore i dont care enough to hunt him down

[/ QUOTE ]

OK so you go to some party, you get drunk, hook up with some dude previously unknown to you. Afterwards you go your seperate ways. Are you saying this guy should be making effors to keep a casual friendship?

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no not at ALL...im saying that it is NOT my responsibilty to track him down and tell him im pregnant is my point. Personally i could care less about my hook ups, it was for fun, one nite, sex, nothing more. If he wants to make it more and find me later down the road thats up to him, but i have a large say so in what interation he has with my child as its mother (based on what he whats and the person he is)

[/ QUOTE ]

So it is not your responsibility to tell him ensuring that he won't know in a timely matter. Then you conveinently take the position that because he was not involved from the beginning, "he is not a father" and does have any right to then get involved in the childs life. Again seem very selfish.

You should have a responsibility to your child to inform the father and at least give him the opportunity to be a stand-up guy.

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:29 AM
again....if he was a stranger...im NOT tracking him down. And no he is no "father". if he wants a part later that depends on circumstances, yes my child will know about him prior to him entering back into my (our) life, but depending on "HIM" will be to what extent i let him around my child if it is mentally harmful in any way....ive said all this numerous times

gamblore99
04-13-2005, 08:12 AM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it

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Are you really this retarded? I have DNA on my side, how about you?

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I have an exam in an hour so I will just be make a brief comment. In philosophy class we were discussing abortion, and the father has no rights. The mother can raise the entirely on her own, ask for child support (i think for support she has to let the father take part in the kids life, not sure), she even has the right to bring the baby to term, then give it up for adoption even if the father is aware of the baby and wants to claim it. I think the major issues used were privacy but I forget. I also forget what court this came from. I'll try to find out. anyways, later

Mars357
04-13-2005, 08:19 AM
Child Support is NOT tax deductible and will cost you much more than the tax benefits. Generally, the custodial parent gets to claim the child on their taxes anyway so you're screwed both ways...

y'all wouldn't believe how much I pay a month in CS....

KungFuSandwich
04-13-2005, 10:02 AM
So basically, I should get all my one night stands phone numbers, and call them 9 months later and say "CONGRATULATIONS ON THE BABY" and if their really confused Im in the clear.

The girl should make some effort for the kids sake. Its gonna be alot easier to find the father after 6mo than 8years. The kids probably gonna want to know who his father is.

knifeandfork
04-13-2005, 10:30 AM
a "father" defintiely can contest an adoption and i cant imagine if he is a fit parent that he would not win. with abortion OTOH the "fetus" is not a "baby" in the eyes of the law it is still part of the womans body, and thus her "medical" decisions are hers (or theoretically hers and anyone with power over her medical decisions if she is unable to make them for herself). it may seem a little strange to some guys but you imagine trying to force someone to have baby, or an abortion. not sure htis adds anything to the discussion...
j

gamblore99
04-13-2005, 01:29 PM
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a "father" defintiely can contest an adoption and i cant imagine if he is a fit parent that he would not win. with abortion OTOH the "fetus" is not a "baby" in the eyes of the law it is still part of the womans body, and thus her "medical" decisions are hers (or theoretically hers and anyone with power over her medical decisions if she is unable to make them for herself). it may seem a little strange to some guys but you imagine trying to force someone to have baby, or an abortion. not sure htis adds anything to the discussion...
j

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I believe the line of thinking was something like this
1. woman have the right to have an abortion or give birth to the baby.
2. many people feel it is wrong to have an abortion, and so bring a child to term that they want nothing to do with.
3. If the father is aware of this baby, he is still in the mothers life, if he adopts the child, then the child will still be in a mother's life and she won't have gotten rid of the child which she wanted to do.


I'm gonna try to find some more details about the reasoning behind this and where this law applies by next wednesday most likely.

Boris
04-13-2005, 01:34 PM
This very thing happened to me. Found out 6 years after the fact that I was a father. The mother should be very concerned about the man trying to take over. Trust me it is not an easy situation so try not to be too judgemental here.

Boris
04-13-2005, 01:43 PM
It's called child support and you should be happy to pay it.

Dex
04-13-2005, 02:41 PM
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You should have a responsibility to use a condom.

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Fixed your post.

peachy
04-13-2005, 05:45 PM
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no it doesnt...just b/c u did some girl for a night and then left and then wonder about it years later does not make you a "father". Sure u have a child out there, but ur no father to it

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Are you really this retarded? I have DNA on my side, how about you?

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I have an exam in an hour so I will just be make a brief comment. In philosophy class we were discussing abortion, and the father has no rights. The mother can raise the entirely on her own, ask for child support (i think for support she has to let the father take part in the kids life, not sure), she even has the right to bring the baby to term, then give it up for adoption even if the father is aware of the baby and wants to claim it. I think the major issues used were privacy but I forget. I also forget what court this came from. I'll try to find out. anyways, later

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this is true in some cases...but u can get child support without the father having a role. Furthermore, there are court cases where men have filed for custody of previous one nite stand babies claiming they had a legal right b/c it was thier sperm. This case is somewhere boxed in my legal files, but if someone wants to see it THAT bad ill dig it out, but the man filed multiple cases against a few women....thats why i have a definate issue with this


To other posts...laws currently stand at:

Only the woman has a say so in the abortion

If she is giving the child up for adoption, if the father is present and "suitable" he is given the option to legally adopt the child, if not it is up to the mother

Any man can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother)


what other things are in question here? those are the only ?s i can remember off the top of my head

Dex
04-13-2005, 06:06 PM
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Any man or woman can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his or hers, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother or father)

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Fixed your post.

Dex
04-13-2005, 06:08 PM
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y'all wouldn't believe how much I pay a month in CS....

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peachy
04-13-2005, 06:08 PM
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Any man or woman can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his or hers, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother or father)

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Fixed your post.

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no...it was correct!!!

Dex
04-13-2005, 06:19 PM
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Any man or woman can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his or hers, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother or father)

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Fixed your post.

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no...it was correct!!!

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Are you saying that a woman is not legally obligated to pay child support to a man if the man is the custodial parent? If so, then you are incorrect.

peachy
04-13-2005, 06:26 PM
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Any man or woman can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his or hers, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother or father)

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Fixed your post.

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no...it was correct!!!

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Are you saying that a woman is not legally obligated to pay child support to a man if the man is the custodial parent? If so, then you are incorrect.

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no im not saying that....yes women have to pay...i was poking fun!! /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Dex
04-14-2005, 03:09 PM
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Any man or woman can be found liable for child support of the child is found to be genetically his or hers, and it is a good portion of your "take home income", so this is NOT cheap, and it increases per child (from a given mother or father)

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Fixed your post.

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no...it was correct!!!

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Are you saying that a woman is not legally obligated to pay child support to a man if the man is the custodial parent? If so, then you are incorrect.

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no im not saying that....yes women have to pay...i was poking fun!! /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

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