Roommate's troubles

[Yobz]

Basically, roommate and his gf are in a long relationship, gf goes abroad this semester, he cheats on her. Does he tell her? If she finds out and he doesn't tell her, hes f'ed...
What do you think?

[Dead]

He should tell her.

If I did this to a girlfriend, I would tell her. It's the +EV move. Tell him to beg her forgiveness-not that he will get it.

[Dantes]

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[PoBoy321]

Ummmm, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but if he's cheating on her and she's going abroad, he should break up with her.

[IronDragon1]

[ QUOTE ]
Basically, roommate and his gf are in a long relationship, gf goes abroad this semester, he cheats on her. Does he tell her? If she finds out and he doesn't tell her, hes f'ed...
What do you think?

[/ QUOTE ]

People don't keep their damn mouths shut anyways so he might as well tell her.

[pshreck]

Um, is he really gonna like marry this chick or anything after he already cheated on her? I think the actual right thing to do is break up with her, and avoid telling her if possible.

[einbert]

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Um, is he really gonna like marry this chick or anything after he already cheated on her?

[/ QUOTE ]

If he wanted that kind of relationship I seriously doubt he would have cheated on her in the first place.

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I think the actual right thing to do is break up with her, and avoid telling her if possible.

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Agreed.

[Yobz]

oops, left out a critical part. They agreed that they can see other people during this time, but he still feels like he will be f'ed if he tells her... (he might eventually wanna marry her)

[IronDragon1]

[ QUOTE ]
oops, left out a critical part. They agreed that they can see other people during this time, but he still feels like he will be f'ed if he tells her... (he might eventually wanna marry her)

[/ QUOTE ]

Well in that case the point is (almost) moot and the blame shits to the girl.

We don't live in Victorian times girl, people have sex for reasons other than procreation.

If any hurt results from him divulging the fact that he engaged in an extrarelational tryst to her than she only has herself to blame since making this agreement all but sanctioned him permition to do so.

[Stuey]

He only has to tell her if the sex was unprotected and he does not get tested prior to having sex with the longterm gf. Lots of things are best left unsaid. If she hears it second hand she won't believe it unless he admits it. If a chick loves you she will believe anything. Deny, deny, deny.

Very good chance she is putting out abroad so tell him not to feel so bad. Best result for him is she comes back and confesses to having a fling. And he says it's ok cuz we agreed we could. But tells her he had a chance to have a fling but chickened out at the last second as he started to think of her! If the guilt does not kill her you can do what you want with her from then on.

[FishBurger]

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... he might eventually wanna marry her

[/ QUOTE ]

In that case, I think the best plan of action is to wait until the day he is ready to propose to tell her. That way, he could tell her he cheated on her and then soften the blow by popping the question!

You also might want to send a PM to housenuts to see how he would handle this situation. He seems to have a pretty good handle on how to deal with the broads.

[housenuts]

[ QUOTE ]
oops, left out a critical part. They agreed that they can see other people during this time, but he still feels like he will be f'ed if he tells her... (he might eventually wanna marry her)

[/ QUOTE ]

in this case tell if she asks. but if it is always on the back of his mind and he can't stop thinking about it then he should just tell her outright

[Richard Tanner]

[ QUOTE ]
Very good chance she is putting out abroad so tell him not to feel so bad. Best result for him is she comes back and confesses to having a fling. And he says it's ok cuz we agreed we could. But tells her he had a chance to have a fling but chickened out at the last second as he started to think of her! If the guilt does not kill her you can do what you want with her from then on.

[/ QUOTE ]

nh

Cody

[blatz]

Honesty ain't that hard.
My girlfriend is in Australia for a few months, and she(like any sensible woman) knows that I'm a guy, and I'm gonna do what guys do.

Would she rather us each be faithful...probably.
Does she know that we love each other...yeah.
Most importantly, we both know that shallow, trashy sex with shallow trashy people (besides ourselves, of course) is, to quote, Poison, "Aint nothin but a good time".

Women dig honesty, and without even knowing the people or the situation, i got 15 bucks, she finds out within a week.

Tell him to go with hat in hand, explain how he feels and how he screwed up. And tell'em he's got the guarantee of an drunken poker player whose Nom de Plume is Blatz that this will work...that should soothe his nerves.

Ok, now i'm really ready to start making a poker post.

[PokerFink]

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Very good chance she is putting out abroad so tell him not to feel so bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly.

Unless the bf is the only sexual partner she has ever had, I would say it's a longshot that she won't have sex with someone else while she is abroad. And if he feels bad about having sex with another girl, he's going to feel REALLY bad when he finds out she was sleeping with someone else as well.

If the bf is serious enough about this girl that he might want to marry her, his only course of action is to basically tell her that he had sex another girl, and even though this was allowed, he feels terrible and only wants to be with her, and wants the relationship to be exclusive while she is abroad.

[peachy]

if he tells her...shes gone...if he doesnt and he just denies it when she finds out...then he keeps her....

[shemp]

If they had the sense to make this agreement, then maybe they'll have the good sense not to interrogate each other about the interim. I doubt it. They're likely made for each other, so whether to tell the truth or lie should be dictated by what is provable and the opportunities for manipulation that will ensue.

[InchoateHand]

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