Medium-Sized Animal Face-Off ROUND 1

[i wanna be me]

Hey all,

Round 1 of the medium-sized animals tournament is on! Here are the matchups - note that the human has a long spear (all wood and about 5 feet long - this spear cannot be broken into a smaller knife-like tool). This is to equalize the field.

These battles take place in a 40 foot in diameter circular caged area. The animals will start 20 feet apart of each other. It is to the death (obviously).

You will see links (not for the human) with pictures and a biography of the animal. They're in order of match-ups.

I think that's pretty much it! Game on!

Gorilla (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/primate/gorilla.html) vs. Panda (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/bearcave/panda.html)

Wolf (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/lilmammal/wolf.html) vs. Baboon (http://www.wellingtonzoo.com/animals/animals/primates/baboon.html)

Panther (Black Leopard) (http://www.ecoworld.org/animals/Big_Cats_Black_Leopard.cfm) vs. Cobra (http://www.tigerhomes.org/animal/king-cobra.cfm)

Komodo Dragon (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/lizard/komodo.html) vs. Badger (http://www.fishbc.com/adventure/wilderness/animals/badger.htm)

Wolverine (http://www.fishbc.com/adventure/wilderness/animals/wolverine.htm) vs. Python (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/slithering/reticpython.html)

Pitbull (http://www.sporting-dog.com/links.html) vs. Leopard (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/feline/leopard.html)

Human With Spear vs. Hyena (http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/animal-bytes/animalia/eumetazoa/coelomates/deuterostomes/chordates/craniata/mammalia/carnivora/spotted-hyena.htm)

Warthog (http://www.seaworld.org/AnimalBytes/warthogab.html) vs. Jaguar (http://animal.discovery.com/fansites/jeffcorwin/carnival/feline/jaguar.html)

[i wanna be me]

looks like gorilla is kicking some ass!!

[PoBoy321]

People forget just how deadly cobra venom is. I will remind them. (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/cobrabite.html)

[pshreck]

Anyone else confused as to why the wolverine is a 2 seed? Are you guys thinking of freaking xmen or something? Real wolverines are small, and not all that deadly.

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone else confused as to why the wolverine is a 2 seed? Are you guys thinking of freaking xmen or something? Real wolverines are small, and not all that deadly.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol - just going by the rankings....

[pshreck]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anyone else confused as to why the wolverine is a 2 seed? Are you guys thinking of freaking xmen or something? Real wolverines are small, and not all that deadly.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol - just going by the rankings....

[/ QUOTE ]

... and people have it killing a python. Seriously OOT needs to go back to science class.

[i wanna be me]

I think the pitbull/leopard matchup is the most interesting....

[Martin]

If the baboon is an adult male the wolf has no chance. Baboons have huge fangs and regulalry kill hunting dogs and on the odd occasion leapoards.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone else confused as to why the wolverine is a 2 seed? Are you guys thinking of freaking xmen or something? Real wolverines are small, and not all that deadly.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah.

Just according to that website, wolverines weigh between 15-40 pounds. An adult poodle weighs more. Pythons can weigh 200 pounds or more, and be 15+ feet long.

Come on.

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
If the baboon is an adult male the wolf has no chance. Baboons have huge fangs and regulalry kill hunting dogs and on the odd occasion leapoards.

[/ QUOTE ]

baboons are tough mothers.....

[BusterStacks]

you guys are smoking crack if you think a human with a spear could take on an aggro hyena

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
you guys are smoking crack if you think a human with a spear could take on an aggro hyena

[/ QUOTE ]

I think the human with the spear could maybe take....I dunno....nothing on the list? One miss with the spear and he's done!

[PokerFink]

Depends on the training. An average adult male would probably get wasted 8 times out of 10, atleast. I think a skilled hunter would hold his own.

The only thing on this list the average adult male is going to take win against is the panda.

[i wanna be me]

as I was looking for a human being impaled by a javelin, I ran across a new matchup: Bigfoot vs. this Chocolate Chong guy....

http://www.radhole.com/photos/chong_returns_1.jpg

[Diplomat]

[ QUOTE ]

The wolverine eats anything it can find or kill; being poor hunters they tend to follow wolves and bears, feeding off the leftovers from kills.


[/ QUOTE ]

-Diplomat

[xorbie]

There is no way that wolverine beats the python. I'm not even convinced it can harm it significantly, let alone kill it. Pythons regularly eat things twice as heavy as wolverines, which really aren't that badass at all.

[Tron]

For some reason I got confused and thought mongoose instead of wolverine, and I remembered hearing about mongoose killing snakes all the time... So I voted for it... The wolverine-mongoose, that is.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
you guys are smoking crack if you think a human with a spear could take on an aggro hyena

[/ QUOTE ]

Believe it or not humans (Paleo-Indians) used to hunt wooly mammoths with spears. The history channel (i think) had a nice episode on this. They had this contraption (basically a block of wood) called an atlatl that allowed them to throw the spear at incredible speeds.

http://www.atlatl.com/
http://cwva.org/area_prehistories/kvprehistory-maslowski.html

[wacki]

Counterpoint:

Movie: "Ghost in the darkness"

It's a true story. Hundreds of people eaten alive. Many were armed with guns. Many more with tools. So I agree with you Buster.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
For some reason I got confused and thought mongoose instead of wolverine, and I remembered hearing about mongoose killing snakes all the time... So I voted for it... The wolverine-mongoose, that is.

[/ QUOTE ]

Mongoose are capable of killing cobras, but I don't think they could take on something as big as a python. Cobras aren't that big.

[nicky g]

[ QUOTE ]
The only thing on this list the average adult male is going to take win against is the panda.

[/ QUOTE ]

No way, a panda would cream the average males with a spear. Have you seen how big they are and how much they weigh? If the human doesn't kill the panda instantly, he's toast.

He would stand a much better chance against a wolverine than a panda. And a badger? A guy with a spear can take a badger, vicious as they can be.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The only thing on this list the average adult male is going to take win against is the panda.

[/ QUOTE ]

No way, a panda would cream the average males with a spear. Have you seen how big they are and how much they weigh? If the human doesn't kill the panda instantly, he's toast.

He would stand a much better chance against a wolverine than a panda. And a badger? A guy with a spear can take a badger, vicious as they can be.

[/ QUOTE ]

The badger and wolverine, yeah thats true. That almost goes without saying.

Pandas have zero aggression in them. They just lay in the sun all day eating bamboo. Unless they have some sort of meanstreak that I'm unaware of, I don't think they would be much of a problem.

They are, without a doubt, very slow, and would have no chance of catching and killing a human.

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
[pandas] are, without a doubt, very slow, and would have no chance of catching and killing a human.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree...with the "arena" and assuming aggression, I don't think the human has any chance.

[nicky g]

"Pandas have zero aggression in them. They just lay in the sun all day eating bamboo. Unless they have some sort of meanstreak that I'm unaware of, I don't think they would be much of a problem."

Ok but this is predicated on somehow getting the animals to fight, right? Because the same holds true for many of them, most would just run away if confronted by a serious threat.

"They are, without a doubt, very slow, and would have no chance of catching and killing a human. "

Presumably this is in some sort of closed arena.

I was wrong on the weight thing, they weigh roughly the same as a large adult human male(between 85 and 125 kg). But I forgot that they have very sharp claws, and I'm fairly sure they're a lot stronger than humans. I still think one could take spear dude.

[PokerFink]

I know this whole idea is predicated on the animals fighting, but my point is that in the wild, pandas never fight. I don't think it is naturally possible to get one pissed off enough to fight. They have no natural fighting instincts, which means a human would dispatch it easily.

[nicky g]

I agree with that to an extent (I think if you start poking a panda with a spear, it'll probably do something )but for the purposes of the tournament it's irrelevant. Most of the animals would refuse to fight, run away, or whatever. If you allow for the possibility of them not fighting, the whole exercise becomes (gasp) a waste of time.

[KungFuSandwich]

[ QUOTE ]
I think the pitbull/leopard matchup is the most interesting....


[/ QUOTE ]
Nah, Leopard would destroy it. Leopards are fasts as a bitch, and alot stronger than a dog. They used to hunt leapords in groups of 3 guys with shotguns, In some cases the leapord would gut one guy before either guy could get off a shot. Also their claws have nasty bacteria and [censored], so it kills you slow if it doesnt kill you quick.


Dont count out the human with the spear though. Some of the badass natives in south america used to hunt jaguar by pissing them off until they charged, then planting the spear in the ground so the jaguar impaled itself when it jumped on em. I dont know the success rate but that takes some balls

[Rick Diesel]

Excellent research and links. Finally a poll that is done properly other than the Ms. OOT.

[nicky g]

Also note that a panda has no natural predators. It's slow as you say, so it must be willing to defend itself (and reasonably competent at it) if nothing is willing to try to eat it.

[i wanna be me]

bump

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
Excellent research and links. Finally a poll that is done properly other than the Ms. OOT.

[/ QUOTE ]

thanks - clearing bonuses at Pacific allows for a lot of time.....

[InchoateHand]

Where the hell is Bruiser?

[Drunk Bob]

If the panther dies after killing the cobra,that stills counts as a win for the panther.

[namknils]

[ QUOTE ]


Believe it or not humans (Paleo-Indians) used to hunt wooly mammoths with spears. The history channel (i think) had a nice episode on this. They had this contraption (basically a block of wood) called an atlatl that allowed them to throw the spear at incredible speeds.

http://www.atlatl.com/
http://cwva.org/area_prehistories/kvprehistory-maslowski.html

[/ QUOTE ]

I watched that episode, it was very interesting and entertaining.

[i wanna be me]

[ QUOTE ]
Where the hell is Bruiser?

[/ QUOTE ]

Bruiser = human
white = Lenny
black = Carl

[InchoateHand]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Where the hell is Bruiser?

[/ QUOTE ]

Bruiser = human
white = Lenny
black = Carl

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea, but you gave the human a spear. I assumed Bruiser would use kung fu.