andyfox
04-11-2005, 01:04 PM
No, not the dumb movie. After the first twelve hours of a flight from Asia to San Francisco, the weather turned ugly the last hour and half. Not a great flier, I was feeling miserable as the plane was bouncing and lurching and twisting and turning in the storm. Finally we approach the runway and just before touching down, the pilot upjuices the engines and we go back into the wretching skies. We circle around and the pilot announces, "We're going to try it again."
Try it? I don't want a try, I want a success. An "A" for effort won't mean much to me without acceptable results. This is one case where we need to be results oriented.
Anway, we make it on the second approach. And then my hour layover turns into a seven hour layover. They never tell you the truth, the damn airlines, that's what those badges they wear are for: the biggest liars get the shiniest pins. Having developed a cold from hell breathing in that wonderful air they have on the planes over and over again for thirteen and a half hours, at least I had the satisfaction of coughing and sneezing all over the most egregious fibbers.
Finally, I get a seat on the 2:00 to L.A. Which is scheduled to leave at 3. Just before boarding I check my boarding pass. It says Warren Wyccka on it. I'm not Warren Wyccka. I'm delirious having not slept for 42 hours, but the one thing I know for sure is I'm not Warren Wyccka. I approach the counter and tell them I'm not Warren Wyccka. They ask me is I'm sure. I'm not making this up. They call Mr. Wyccka to the podium and he has a Warren Wyccka boarding pass for the same seat I have. I have no seat. I start to bitch and moan and, when that gets me nowhere, I commence to cough and sneeze, giving new and literal meaning to the phrase "phlegmatic personality." Voila! They find me a seat and a short four hours later, I'm laying in my bed at home coughing and sneezing on my loved ones.
Which is as it should be.
Try it? I don't want a try, I want a success. An "A" for effort won't mean much to me without acceptable results. This is one case where we need to be results oriented.
Anway, we make it on the second approach. And then my hour layover turns into a seven hour layover. They never tell you the truth, the damn airlines, that's what those badges they wear are for: the biggest liars get the shiniest pins. Having developed a cold from hell breathing in that wonderful air they have on the planes over and over again for thirteen and a half hours, at least I had the satisfaction of coughing and sneezing all over the most egregious fibbers.
Finally, I get a seat on the 2:00 to L.A. Which is scheduled to leave at 3. Just before boarding I check my boarding pass. It says Warren Wyccka on it. I'm not Warren Wyccka. I'm delirious having not slept for 42 hours, but the one thing I know for sure is I'm not Warren Wyccka. I approach the counter and tell them I'm not Warren Wyccka. They ask me is I'm sure. I'm not making this up. They call Mr. Wyccka to the podium and he has a Warren Wyccka boarding pass for the same seat I have. I have no seat. I start to bitch and moan and, when that gets me nowhere, I commence to cough and sneeze, giving new and literal meaning to the phrase "phlegmatic personality." Voila! They find me a seat and a short four hours later, I'm laying in my bed at home coughing and sneezing on my loved ones.
Which is as it should be.