How to Cheat Better

I've been playing in a weekly poker game for years and always do quite well, due to the fact that when I deal, I always include a spinner (community card) in the middle to be revealed at the end of the game. Obviously, I always know what the spinner card will be, because I sneak a peak during the shuffle or prior to throwing it in as a spinner. Recently, I think people are catching onto my tactics, does anyone have a better way to cheat or how to conceal my cheating ways better. Serious inquiries only

[thebroker]

[Mochmed]

Obviously imbosoles can't read, "serious replies only", and of course I know how to play, I'm probably the best card player around, but you must take advantage of every situation that can help you win money. Yes its a home game, but know these people are not my friends, every person that sits down at a poker table against me is an enemy, we play for cash and I'm not going to feel sorry for a fool who is easily departed from his money. I don't know what sort of kissy-ass games you play, but it sounds like i'd kick your ass if we ever went head to head.

[BonJoviJones]

*Ahem*

Should I point out that you never said "serious replies only"? You said "serious inquires only" which is a totally different thing.

May I inquire what the hell we're supposed to inquire about?

[BNO]

Aside from how it reflects on the Home Poker forum in the first place, it will only invite an endless string of blistering replies, none of which will add anything of value to the forum. Please delete it.

[baggins]

i think the word you mean is 'imbeciles'. guess you don't have to spell correctly to be the best card player around. then again, if you were the best cardplayer around, you wouldn't bother with home games, you'd be playing high-limit games in vegas or socal. or is it a bankroll issue?

I am sure this is just a joke. Dont take it so seriously. Reread it , and then tell me if you agree.
Funes

"jerry" posted this issue a week or two ago and i told him, nice "advantage"---your friggin cheating!

so, jerry, you have no problem with people cheating and taking your money? wow, i sure wish you were in my game.

we caught a guy in our home game cheating as well. Not only did he leave everythign he brought to the table, he was lucky he didn't get he backside whooped in the process.

Backside whooped, ya playing your game in San Francisco?

[sandsmarc]

I hope you cheat better than you write. But then again, you'd just have to.

marc
Please re-read your post and get back to me when you can do the following:
1) have a clue about what your talking about;
2) complete a post with a complete sentence.

You are a real class act Jerry. If you are such a great poker player, go to Vegas and try to make it as a pro, where you cant get away with your bush league cheating. A good player never needs to cheat-they win on skill.--Big Al--

HEY DILDO, I can and do win consistently w/o 'peeking" but in a situation you can get away with it you are stupid if you don't. Did you ever get a chance to look at another guys hand,you didn,t turn away. Don' be so selfrighteous.

You have shown what an a$$hole you are by advocating cheating. Dont be such a jerk because everyone is pointing out to you what a scumbag you are.

both of marc's sentences in the post referenced were complete, including subject and predicate. i suggest you reread your 6th grade english textbook.

[youtalkfunny]

I loved to gamble. But I'd always lose.

I studied a book on cheating, and practiced, practiced, practiced...

Then, it was SHOWTIME!

I "beat" a friend of mine out of $400.

I went home, and couldn't sleep a wink. Much to my surprise, I didn't feel like I "won" anything. I felt like I slipped into my friend's house through a window, under the cover of darkness, and stole $400 out of his wallet.

The next day, I gave him back his money, and told him the whole story.

He didn't know whether to be touched, or furious.

Now, I can get the money without cheating or stealing.

Paul Newman once said in a movie, "Money won is twice as sweet as money earned." What a sickie. No money is sweeter than money earned.

Certainly not money stolen.

And money won in a game of skill IS money earned.

Money acquired by cheating? How can you not think that's crooked?

You think of your opponents as your "enemy"? Then why don't you just shoot them, and take the money? That's what you're supposed to do to enemies--kill them!

Oh, they're not REALLY your enemies. You just had to villify them like that, in order to justify STEALING from them.

If you're gonna steal, steal. Just don't try to convince us (or yourself) that what you're doing is anything less than stealing.

[bad beetz]

cheating is wrong. But, technically, so is not coming to a 3 second stop at a stop sign. I don't judge, the best you can do is hope the cheaters get caught, and hopefully by a few Samoans on mad tilt. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

Have you tried a shiner? I put a silver cigarette case by my chips, then deal over top of it and see all the cards in my "mirror". Also, 5-stud's a good game if your game uses two decks you can shuffle the one you are going to use and position an ace for yourself. In 5-stud, that's a huge edge. Also, serve snacks on a side table. Then when opponents go over to eat, quickly grab a few of their chips. Best of all, max gamble with them try to win or lose it all. If you win, it's all good. If you lose, have two goons waiting outside to rob the winners. Hope this helps.

[JustSomeJackass]

Why not just have the goons kick their ass and take their money at the beginning of the night, screw playing poker, and go out and blow their money on hookers.

[Michael Davis]

Jerry,

Your repeated incompetence and arrogance grows tiresome. Please use a spellchecker before posting. Honestly, it might be lame to harp on someone's spelling ability, but when you call others imbeciles, it would do you well to spell the word properly. But hey, I like irony.

Mike

i am a very good player and have made my living from time to time solely on poker and I aviod vegas and socal like the plague. why pay rake? i am currently rotating between 3 med. stakes (1-2-5 pot limit) home games that suit me very well. there are many pro's who never set foot inside a casino.

how much are hookers in your area? i go to tijauna. $80 an hour for a real cutie. anyone know a good service in L.A.?

[Trefo]

When you think about it though....He'll gain an extra big bet an hr by cheating and in his penny-nickle-dime game he plays in he'll probably gain an extra 40 cents. Go get em Jerry you stud you!

[budman]

Jerry,

I played in a home game for years and was a big loser. It was a fun game, though and I did have winning nights. One fellow was a consistent big winner. On his bad nights he would only win a little (he would average $800 - $1000 per night.

I became suspicious of his play and bought a video on how to catch cheaters. Unfortunately, I caught him (and his brother) cheating the rest of us.

We had become a friendly group and would get together with our wives, have parties, etc. The cheater also owned his own business which the rest of us had given references to.

Needless to say, things got ugly. This guy hides from us, word has travelled around town and he is losing customers. His wife got mad at me for making up the story about his cheating. One of our friends is so mad he toys with the idea of hurting this guy.

If you are going to cheat, you should find a better method and do it right. Peeking at spinners is easy to catch and can't be worth the risk. Make sure not to play in your home town or with anyone who might hurt you physically. Don't play with anyone you want to be friends with, or anyone who is friends with anyone you want to be friends with. Never play with business associates or friends or acquaintences of business associates. Make sure no new players who might be aware enough to catch your penny ante tactics join the game.

I hope you agree that if you truly are more skilled than your opponents, you don't need to cheat them to win their money.

[Fitz]

I don't normally intentionally communicate with vermin, but I'll make an exception this one time. It is players and attitudes like yours that make it so difficult for poker to be accepted by the mainstream.

Coming here to admit you are a cheat then ask for better ways to cheat proves you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer. You might also keep in mind if you "think" they are catching onto your cheating; they probably are. We caught a fellow pulling something like that once upon a time in one of our home games; he was subjected to a form of retribution I promise he won't soon forget. The same fate could be only one more fancy move away for you as well.

The bottom line is this: if you are as good as you think you are, which I am certain you are not, you have no need to cheat. If you are so weak that the only way you can beat the game is to cheat, which is what I suspect, you must be ready to accept the consequences when the 400 lb psycho sitting across from you decides he has been cheated. What's to stop him from putting you in the hospital or worse? You already said everyone at the table is your enemy, so you'll have no friends when it comes time to pay up.

Fitz

[Hung]

Start practicing with false riffle shuffle. Second deals, bottoms deals, etc.
False double and triple cuts. Once you got that, ask if someone needs a magician for entertainment. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

[Anders L]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I hope you agree that if you truly are more skilled than your opponents, you don't need to cheat them to win their money.

[/ QUOTE ]
And if you're a NOT a better player than the others then you won't get away with cheating.
Bit of a catch-22: If you're bad you can't cheat; if you're good you don't have to