Gayest April Fools Jokes Ever

[Bill Murphy]

1. My friend's ex calling him at work and saying their daughter's ear infection was going to require tubes being placed in her ears.

2. Tool posting something about "whole band killed/injured in bus crash in Australia" a few years back.

3. Tool posting "Maynard finds Jesus/band on indefinite hiatus" on *3/31*.

IRONCLAD AF JOKE RULES

1. They have to be funny, and preferably original.
2. They must 'start' no earlier than 4/1 12:00:01am local time
3. They must 'end' no later than 4/1 11:59:59pm local time, although w/i 15 minutes of start time maximizes the coolness of said AFJ.

I always did think Maynard was a complete, er, tool(albeit a great lyricist at least on T albums), and their concerts sucked for being so short. But the albums are so good, and Carey such a phenomenal drummer it doesn't really matter.

Ha, ha, Maynard, ya kidder, ya philosopher. Ya got me for a minute there. What a sheep am I.

Now go home and get your fvcking shinebox and hurry up w/the new album.

[Popinjay]

I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

your retarded and gay

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

your retarded and gay

[/ QUOTE ]

I disapprove of your use of "you're"

[Bill Murphy]

[ QUOTE ]
I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this has been debated before. I use "gay" to mean particularly lame, played out, unoriginal, shark jumped, trying too hard, corporate manufactured-Ashlee Simpsonish, etc; and "h0m0" as purveyors of such.

There was once a good Newsweek column about how the useful, unique word "gay" had been unfortunately "misappropriated" by the, uh, gay community. The writer wished they'd have picked the word "fabulous"[or "fab"] instead.

[nothumb]

Well there was that time I had butt sex with a football team in front of my girlfriend to make her think I liked men.

Fooled her alright!

NT

[Tron]

From CollegeHumor (http://www.collegehumor.com/?update_id=186). I really liked this article.

Gay as a Negative Adjective is So Gay!

Now I'm not one to be PC, the term alone is enough to make me want to beat a Muslim with a fetus. However, I feel I have matured enough to finally take a firm stand on the middle school definition of something that is sucky or... Gay. To be fair, a gay man can be very sucky --usually to another gay man or group of gay men. But the term gay as a synonym for shitty, crappy, bad, or stupid has officially run its course. Like the O.C., it's O.ver.

First off, it's phenomenally rude. Do you think it would really fly with my brothers and sisters of color out there if someone asked you, "Hey did you catch that new John Stamos show Jake in Progress?"and you responded, "Nah, that [censored] looks totally African American." You'd be black soon too, friend. Black and blue. And how would all my sexy yellow Asian pals out there feel if someone asked you, "Hey did you ever read the Da Vinci Code?" and you responded, "Dude, reading is so Oriental." Not only would they tell you that Oriental is a type of rug or cuisine and not a person, but they would also hit you in the face with a stick of bamboo. Bamboo + BAM! = boo boo.

Secondly, have you honestly ever met a gay guy who wasn't cooler than just about everyone you know? They dress better than us. They do cooler drugs than us. Their drinks are stronger and more colorful. Their witty comments are far more hilarious than ours, and their zingers zing like the tangy taste of frikkin' Miracle Whip. You and I both know that gay dudes are always surrounded by gorgeous women who fawn over their every move and would gladly let them touch their tits.

I've seen like 53 gay guys just grab a chick's tits and the chick will laugh and laugh or make like she loves it and it's the hottest thing ever. When I grab a chick's tits I either have a lawsuit on my hands or far worse, a serious relationship!

How is it that the word gay became associated with something that wasn't cool? It's not like on Queer Eye the Fab Five come in and make your apartment look like the Jersey Turnpike. You know, really awful. They make it look great, awesome, dare I say fabulous! They buy you cool clothes, they save your hair from looking like it's the '90s, they make you hipper than you really are. Yet how do you reward Carson, Tom, Jai, et al? By saying that the hockey strike is so gay as is the whole damn sport as well as the entire nation of Canada.

Yes professional hockey sucks dick, but it is certainly not gay, sir! Granted there are grown men on ice skates, a lot of stick handling, and once those teeth are knocked out nothin' beats a gummy blowjob. But dammit, hockey is not gay.

I propose a new and improved term for things that honk. The next time one of your chums asks, "Hey are you going to go see Miss Congeniality 2 next weekend?" Why don't you try out my new patented buzzword for the blowworthy. "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous? Are you out of your mind? That [censored] looks completely CHRISTIAN." Let's face it. There is nothing less cool than Christianity. Try watching a little Trinity Broadcast Network for a while. Stick around for their hip-hop or skateboarding shows. Go check out Mel Gibson's The Passion Recut. Or better yet, chillax with the gang down at your local campus ministries program. Trust me, after 3 minutes of free pizza, bible reading, and the old hymn sing you'll say to yourself, "Jesus Christ these people are [censored] Christian!"

[BusterStacks]

[ QUOTE ]
I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually I was getting tired of it when it had become commonplace, but it seems more and more people are finding it inappropriate and thus, it becomes enjoyable again. If you don't like it, don't say it, but trying to convince others not to say it is about as gay as it gets.

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I disapprove of your use of the word gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

your retarded and gay

[/ QUOTE ]

I disapprove of your use of "you're"

[/ QUOTE ]

your an idiot

[theredwave]

It's spelled 'retarted' moran.

[JoeC]

This is really gay. Half of that stuff about gay men isn't true at all. Also, I like how they denounce making fun of Ethnic groups, but then it's OK to make fun of Christians.

If this is a joke it went totally over my head. If it's serious I pledge to double my use of the word "gay".

[mason55]

[ QUOTE ]
This is really gay. Half of that stuff about gay men isn't true at all. Also, I like how they denounce making fun of Ethnic groups, but then it's OK to make fun of Christians.

If this is a joke it went totally over my head. If it's serious I pledge to double my use of the word "gay".

[/ QUOTE ]

Which part about gay guys isn't true? The only part that's possibly not true is that they do cooler drugs, because I do all my drugs with gay guys.

Other than that the essay is 100% spot on correct. And I say this having one of my best friends and many of my decent to good friends being gay males.

PS: Religion is a choice, ethnicity isn't. Thus religion is a valid point to make fun of, homosexuality and ethnicity are not.

[morello]

[ QUOTE ]

I always did think Maynard was a complete, er, tool(albeit a great lyricist at least on T albums), and their concerts sucked for being so short.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I saw Tool, they played quite a long set. APC's set was really short when I saw them though..maybe you've got the two mixed up? I haven't really heard anyone complain about Tool's live performance before.

[JoeC]

[ QUOTE ]
They dress better than us.

[/ QUOTE ]
Obvious stereotype. Not really true either. Gay guys I know pretty much dress like anyone else. And if we assume that the hackneyed "gay guy stereotype" of flashy dressing is true, well, I don't really think that's much better looking than the way anyone else dresses.

[ QUOTE ]
You and I both know that gay dudes are always surrounded by gorgeous women who fawn over their every move and would gladly let them touch their tits.

I've seen like 53 gay guys just grab a chick's tits and the chick will laugh and laugh or make like she loves it and it's the hottest thing ever. When I grab a chick's tits I either have a lawsuit on my hands or far worse, a serious relationship!

[/ QUOTE ]

This MAY be true. If so, who cares? Gay guys touching a girl's tits is no big deal--what possible satisfaction could they derive from that? Girls let gays touch their tits because they are non-threatening, not because gays are so much cooler than the rest of us.

[ QUOTE ]
PS: Religion is a choice, ethnicity isn't. Thus religion is a valid point to make fun of, homosexuality and ethnicity are not.

[/ QUOTE ]

I could point out the absurdity in this in many different ways, but instead, let me try this: from now on, instead of using "gay" I will use the word "Jewish".

So the April Fools jokes listed above were very, very Jewish. All of you attacking the poster for using the word "gay" are Jewish... you're all just a big bunch of Hebrews.

Nope, nothing offensive about that.