Shang Chou
03-30-2005, 08:24 AM
Not sure if this is the right forum for this kinda post, but would love to get people's opinions and input.
Over the past 6 months or so I had been playing poker recreationally with a 2000 dollar bankroll. I am a college student at MIT so this is a decent amount of money for a kid my age. At one point my bankroll was at a little over 4K, but I took 2K out and bought myself a Powerbook and some other crap(coke, hookers, booze, etc).
The stakes I played where anywhere from 2/4 to 15/30 on Party and when I made the occasional foray to Foxwoods, I played 10/20 or 5/10 kill. Also, played in a variety of homegames such as 2/5 blind NL games with a 4-500 buy in or 1/2 blind NL games. Most of my profits came from playing online and I have had a couple 400+ losses at a NL home game which resulted in me coming home and playing 10/20 6 max on Party, determined to make it back.
The 2K bankroll started off as 100 dollars on Party poker and I built that up playing 1/2 and slowly working my way up. I remember the day my acount was finally at 1K and I let myself play some 2/4. In retrospect, I took a very cautious route, partly because I have blown entire bankrolls in one day before and know how crappy it feels.
To make a long story short, over the past month and a half or so I have managed to lose it all. I know exactly why I lost: playing above my bankroll and tilt. This is not the first time I have done this. When you have 2K to play with, its usually not wise to sit with half of it on a table. I remember one night playing 2/5 blind NL and I took a bad beat losing AA to KK for 1000+. Because I was playing in over my head, I was unable to get rid of the tilt and always had the feeling that I was playing to win it back.
Also, I have done this sorta thing many times in the past(over 5 times) where I work my ass off putting together a decent sized roll, only to lose it a short period filled with tilt, 200 dollar spins of the roulette wheel, or 100 dollar rolls of the dice. Part of it may be that I am a really competive person and I hate losing or part of it may be I have a gambling problem. Nonetheless, I have been fortunate to only gamble with poker winnings and I have not had to go into my own pocket to fund any of these habits.
So I forced myself to take 2 weeks off from playing poker and just browsed the 2+2 boards and reread a few books and what not. I really think I am a solid winning player but I have a pretty gnarly problem with enjoying the excitement and playing above what my bankroll allows. If I have X amount of money, I wont be happy unless I have at least .5X in front of me, etc. Also, when I lose, I get over anxious to make it back, etc.
That said, I think I am ready to go again and looking forward to starting a new bankroll. I really don't want to go back to Party 1/2 but that is probably what I'm gonna have to do.
Over the past 6 months or so I had been playing poker recreationally with a 2000 dollar bankroll. I am a college student at MIT so this is a decent amount of money for a kid my age. At one point my bankroll was at a little over 4K, but I took 2K out and bought myself a Powerbook and some other crap(coke, hookers, booze, etc).
The stakes I played where anywhere from 2/4 to 15/30 on Party and when I made the occasional foray to Foxwoods, I played 10/20 or 5/10 kill. Also, played in a variety of homegames such as 2/5 blind NL games with a 4-500 buy in or 1/2 blind NL games. Most of my profits came from playing online and I have had a couple 400+ losses at a NL home game which resulted in me coming home and playing 10/20 6 max on Party, determined to make it back.
The 2K bankroll started off as 100 dollars on Party poker and I built that up playing 1/2 and slowly working my way up. I remember the day my acount was finally at 1K and I let myself play some 2/4. In retrospect, I took a very cautious route, partly because I have blown entire bankrolls in one day before and know how crappy it feels.
To make a long story short, over the past month and a half or so I have managed to lose it all. I know exactly why I lost: playing above my bankroll and tilt. This is not the first time I have done this. When you have 2K to play with, its usually not wise to sit with half of it on a table. I remember one night playing 2/5 blind NL and I took a bad beat losing AA to KK for 1000+. Because I was playing in over my head, I was unable to get rid of the tilt and always had the feeling that I was playing to win it back.
Also, I have done this sorta thing many times in the past(over 5 times) where I work my ass off putting together a decent sized roll, only to lose it a short period filled with tilt, 200 dollar spins of the roulette wheel, or 100 dollar rolls of the dice. Part of it may be that I am a really competive person and I hate losing or part of it may be I have a gambling problem. Nonetheless, I have been fortunate to only gamble with poker winnings and I have not had to go into my own pocket to fund any of these habits.
So I forced myself to take 2 weeks off from playing poker and just browsed the 2+2 boards and reread a few books and what not. I really think I am a solid winning player but I have a pretty gnarly problem with enjoying the excitement and playing above what my bankroll allows. If I have X amount of money, I wont be happy unless I have at least .5X in front of me, etc. Also, when I lose, I get over anxious to make it back, etc.
That said, I think I am ready to go again and looking forward to starting a new bankroll. I really don't want to go back to Party 1/2 but that is probably what I'm gonna have to do.