Do you stand or sit to wipe yourself?

[Mars357]

I was listening to a radio show out of Dallas recently and the topic of wiping position came up. Not only did the sitters have no idea there were standers (and vice versa) each group was appalled and disgusted by the other groups actions.

So my question. Do you stand or sit to wipe your ass?

[beerbandit]

one foot up on the sink

[jakethebake]

Question for the standers: When you stand before wiping don't your cheeks kind of squeeze together and squish it? What do you do if a hanger rolls down your leg?

[cardcounter0]

Of course, these radio show callers were all from Texas, right?
/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I was listening to a radio show out of Dallas recently

[/ QUOTE ]

Before you said Dallas I was gonna guess Dale & Dudley.

[FoxwoodsFiend]

This is actually really funny-on two separate occasions I have told some friends I stand and they look at me like I'm crazy...glad to know I'm not the only one out there.
(um...this isn't a trick is it?)

[Victor]

when i was a kid i stood. now i sit. so it goes.

[FoxwoodsFiend]

[ QUOTE ]
Question for the standers: When you stand before wiping don't your cheeks kind of squeeze together and squish it? What do you do if a hanger rolls down your leg?

[/ QUOTE ]

a) You kind of stand bow-legged to prevent this from happening
b) I generally don't try wiping my ass until I stop shitting. Maybe we should take a poll on how many people were aware of this...

[AngryCola]

I had no idea a significant portion of people stand to wipe.

This explains all the stray hairs.

[eastbay]

Question for standers: WHY?

eastbay

[willie]

[ QUOTE ]
one foot up on the sink

[/ QUOTE ]

jim norton from the opie and anthony show puts one foot up on the toilet when he does it to make sure he does a thorough job

someone called in and says he looks like captain morgan when he's wiping.

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
when i was a kid i stood. now i sit. so it goes.


[/ QUOTE ]

heheh.... the riddle of the sphinxter.

[iMsoLucky0]

[ QUOTE ]
when i was a kid i stood. now i sit. so it goes.

[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
when i was a kid i stood. now i sit. so it goes.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

the fact that there are a number of people that have undergone this transformation with age tells me that those of you still standing are probably retarted. You're just stuck at a first grade pooping level. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[NoChance]

If you stand and put one leg up (like on the edge of the tub or toilet), it gives those of us with "professional poker player" sized bodies a better reach. It helps you do a more complete wipe.

[TimM]

Don't all you sitters wind up with shitty water on your knuckles sometimes?

[TStoneMBD]

i cant possibly imagine what wiping would be like sitting. it sounds gross. i never knew there were sitters and thought i was normal. whats wrong with you people?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't all you sitters wind up with shitty water on your knuckles sometimes?

[/ QUOTE ]

no. my ass doesn't hang that low.

[Voltron87]

I'm a stander. It never occured to me that people sit. As for anyone asking about issues with standing, I've never had any at all.

[Voltron87]

[ QUOTE ]
i cant possibly imagine what wiping would be like sitting. it sounds gross. i never knew there were sitters and thought i was normal. whats wrong with you people?

[/ QUOTE ]

It never occured to me that people sit and do it.

[Lazymeatball]

I for one, stand, and was shocked and disgusted to find out people sit to do this.

First of all, do you mean to say that while in a public toilet people sit and delicately weave their hand through that little space between their ass (which is gross) and the back of the seat (which is grosser) to wipe their ass. You've got about 4-6 inches of wiggle room max, it's like playing that kid's board game Operation where the penalty is smutz on your arm.

I think the biggest misunderstanding people have about standers is that they think we are standing straight up, at attention military style. Really it's more of an elevated crouch, we are still bending over, our cheeks are still spread, we just don't have to worry about accidentally touching the seat of the toilet. I've included an illustration below:

http://onfinite.com/libraries/392944/8c3.jpg

[PokerNoob]

How about you Europeans? Use that ass washer thing you got next to the toilet over there?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
First of all, do you mean to say that while in a public toilet people sit and delicately weave their hand through that little space between their ass (which is gross) and the back of the seat (which is grosser) to wipe their ass. You've got about 4-6 inches of wiggle room max, it's like playing that kid's board game Operation where the penalty is smutz on your arm.

I think the biggest misunderstanding people have about standers is that they think we are standing straight up, at attention military style. Really it's more of an elevated crouch, we are still bending over, our cheeks are still spread, we just don't have to worry about accidentally touching the seat of the toilet. I've included an illustration below:

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm....perhaps sitters and standers aren't that far apart then. We sitters kind of lkean forward so our ass is slightly raised. I've never gotten crap on my arm, nor can I remember touching the seat. Maybe the two aren't as different as they sound initially. A slight crouch vs. leaning forward.