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ILL34GL3
03-27-2005, 07:02 AM
Here's an idea that adds to the Cool As A Cucumber technique: First, get a cucumber and hollow it out so that it's a nice, snug fit for your penis. Cut off the entire other end of the cucumber as well, basically making a "cucumber tube" that's still snug for your penis. Once you have done that, you may heat it up in the microwave for a couple of seconds to get it nice and warm inside. Now go get some duct tape or any other type of packing tape and head to your bathtub. Since the bathtub is about the right height for kneeling, you can place the cucumber on the edge of the tub. Now tape the cucumber to the side of the bathtub. Since the cucumber tube will give slightly, you will be able to adjust how "tight" you want the cucumber to feel by how much force you put into taping the cucumber tube to the bathtub. The tape holds the tube perfectly in place so you are ready to go to town (hands-free, I might add). Since the other end is cut out as well, all of your semen will just fly into the tub for very easy cleanup! If you have your own bathtub, you could even leave the tube taped to the bathtub and no one will see it when you pull the shower curtain across the tub. I enjoyed the cucumber tube one night, and I left it there to enjoy the next morning before taking my shower. It's awesome — try it!

Ulysses
03-27-2005, 07:12 AM
Hmmmm... It got way too soft and soggy in the microwave. How long do you microwave it for?

mantasm
03-27-2005, 07:13 AM
Yeah dude! Having sex with cucumbers is awesome! Yeah! Yes! Cucumbers! Rock and roll, dude! Yes! Awesome! Dude!

Ulysses
03-27-2005, 07:17 AM
Seriously, man. HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU MICROWAVE IT FOR!???!!!?

Ulysses
03-27-2005, 07:18 AM
FYI, 1 min is definitely too long.

ILL34GL3
03-27-2005, 07:20 AM
About a quarter to half the time it takes to warm a Pop Tart in your microwave.

peachy
03-27-2005, 08:22 AM
i figured u meant for girls before i opened this......

pokerjo22
03-27-2005, 01:29 PM
And I thought it was going to be a post about bongs *sigh*

Ulysses
03-27-2005, 04:31 PM
[ QUOTE ]
About a quarter to half the time it takes to warm a Pop Tart in your microwave.

[/ QUOTE ]

ty, 15-20 seconds seems to work great.

Brainwalter
03-27-2005, 04:35 PM
Did you spend the last 9 hours with it?

Cubswin
03-27-2005, 04:42 PM
Ive used a cucumber and duct tape in a sex act before but never like this... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

ThaSaltCracka
03-27-2005, 05:04 PM
http://uploads.savefile.com/redir/46445.jpg

radek2166
03-27-2005, 05:16 PM
I prefer A piece of warm bologna

codewarrior
03-27-2005, 05:21 PM
Only if it is ring bologna. I'll let other elaborate. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Luv2DriveTT
03-27-2005, 06:22 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Only if it is ring bologna. I'll let other elaborate. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

ringed for her pleasure?

TT /images/graemlins/club.gif

Pinga
03-28-2005, 09:38 AM
JackinForum? (http://www.jackinworld.com/forum/forum.html)

beerbandit
03-30-2005, 04:04 PM
[ QUOTE ]
JackinForum? (http://www.jackinworld.com/forum/forum.html)

[/ QUOTE ]


this should help me kill some time at work

jakethebake
03-30-2005, 04:09 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I prefer A piece of warm bologna

[/ QUOTE ]

How long do you microwave bologna?

Boris
03-30-2005, 04:30 PM
That sounds like a good idea if I ever want to get freaky. For now I'm sticking with my favorite ewe.

beerbandit
03-30-2005, 04:39 PM
sounds like to much work for 52 seconds of fun


cheers

YourFoxyGrandma
03-30-2005, 04:48 PM
[ QUOTE ]
And I thought it was going to be a post about bongs *sigh*

[/ QUOTE ]

tek
03-30-2005, 05:14 PM
Here's an idea:

Stop playing vidoe games and watching MTV. Get a haircut and take a shower. Put on a pair of good pants and shirt.
Meet a real woman.

As William Shatner always says to trekkies: GET OUT OF YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT AND GET A LIFE /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

xadrez
03-30-2005, 05:23 PM
Wow, Im stunned by this post.

My roomates in college tried this with zuchinni's, and I was naive enough to think they were doing something that was both revolutionary and semi-retarded...

M2d
03-30-2005, 06:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]
That sounds like a good idea if I ever want to get freaky. For now I'm sticking with my favorite: you .

[/ QUOTE ]

fixed your post

Dex
03-30-2005, 06:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
JackinForum? (http://www.jackinworld.com/forum/forum.html)

[/ QUOTE ]


this should help me kill some time at work

[/ QUOTE ]

Reading the JackinForum might help you kill some time at work also. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

hunterking
03-30-2005, 09:05 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Here's an idea that adds to the Cool As A Cucumber technique: First, get a cucumber and hollow it out so that it's a nice, snug fit for your penis. Cut off the entire other end of the cucumber as well, basically making a "cucumber tube" that's still snug for your penis. Once you have done that, you may heat it up in the microwave for a couple of seconds to get it nice and warm inside. Now go get some duct tape or any other type of packing tape and head to your bathtub. Since the bathtub is about the right height for kneeling, you can place the cucumber on the edge of the tub. Now tape the cucumber to the side of the bathtub. Since the cucumber tube will give slightly, you will be able to adjust how "tight" you want the cucumber to feel by how much force you put into taping the cucumber tube to the bathtub. The tape holds the tube perfectly in place so you are ready to go to town (hands-free, I might add). Since the other end is cut out as well, all of your semen will just fly into the tub for very easy cleanup! If you have your own bathtub, you could even leave the tube taped to the bathtub and no one will see it when you pull the shower curtain across the tub. I enjoyed the cucumber tube one night, and I left it there to enjoy the next morning before taking my shower. It's awesome — try it!

[/ QUOTE ]

hmmm...speechless

xpander
03-30-2005, 09:13 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Seriously, man. HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU MICROWAVE IT FOR!???!!!?

[/ QUOTE ]

I couldn't stop laughing.

JcTc
03-30-2005, 09:21 PM
A cucumber was not girthy enough so I decided to try a butternut squash. Needless to say, it was fantastic.

xpander
03-30-2005, 09:28 PM
I like you already.

terrapin314
03-30-2005, 09:42 PM
You had me at hello.

xpander
03-30-2005, 09:50 PM
My knees are weak.

Fabian
03-31-2005, 12:44 AM
</font><blockquote><font class="small">Svar till:</font><hr />
JackinForum? (http://www.jackinworld.com/forum/forum.html)

[/ QUOTE ]

This is incredibly disturbing.

ILL34GL3
03-31-2005, 06:58 AM
I just copied this off another forum by the way.

Sephus
03-31-2005, 07:52 AM
w/e this is the best thread in a while. -1 pt for you.

ILL34GL3
03-31-2005, 10:31 AM
I'll take the -1 over being labeled a vegesexual.

beerbandit
03-31-2005, 10:36 AM
no [censored]


the link is in this thread

ILL34GL3
03-31-2005, 10:43 AM
Ha! Ha! I didn't even get it off that site. And I didn't explore that link after it was posted in this thread like you. You silly jack-off afficianado.

beerbandit
03-31-2005, 11:02 AM
[ QUOTE ]
You silly jack-off afficianado.

[/ QUOTE ]

true, when in rome....