Bastion of Sound and Reasoned advice that this forum is....

[NotInchoateHand1]

Altercation with neighbor.

You are a reasonable neighbor (you being me, but for the sake of argument, you). Your downstairs neighbor has a quasi-legitimate complaint, one that you have consciously heeded and sought to ameliorate.

However, on this very evening, say fifteen minutes ago, he comes raring out of his apartment and gets very up in your face about said complaint, at a point when it is marginally, if at all, occuring.

A heated exchange ensues. He's got three or four inches on you, but you are about equal in the pound department.

Now, despite being a bit of a brawler in my wayward adolescence, it has been a number of years since I have gotten in a sound physical altercation. Luckily (for one of us, still not sure who), I'm not as drunk as I normally am at this hour, so the situation didn't escalate further, but it came just short of blows.

Would you hope it blows over and strive a little harder to avoid irritating this short-tempered prick?

Would you let it come to blows, make sure he throws the first one, and trust that you haven't lost your youthful violent nature, trounce his ass?
(This seems like a poor idea, because I don't envision the problem going away, even if I managed to completely shitkick him, in fact, it is a reasonable supposition that the problem would be worse).

Would you wait for him to get violent, and take the admittedly pussy route of involving the authorities? (I don't want to jeopordize my life situation in general, so this is a reasonable alternative).

Would you do something else, and what?

Thanks.

[Jack of Arcades]

One, then three. I'm a pussy.

[jason_t]

It might be easier to analyze if we knew the nature of said complaint.

[NotInchoateHand1]

As I sit here and calm down, choice one looks better and better, but sadly nature hardwired us obstinate pricks to react quickly, and so its taken me a while to get here. I'm debating whether drinking more relax me or hype me up a little further. I'm trying my hardest to be a pussy, because I think pussy's have better lives in general.

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
I think pussy's have better lives in general.

[/ QUOTE ]

Especially when they meet my....

[[censored]]

I think you make a reasonable effort to be a good neighbor. If he then procedes to be unreasonable I would cease any communication with him, talk to the apartment manager myself, and instruct him in writing that all communication on said matter should handled throught the apartment manager and that any further attempts on his part to communicate with you directly will be considered harassment.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Its pretty minor.

I smoke. I don't like to smoke in my apartment, so I smoke outside. Most people in my building keep their windows open, even in winter, because we have a central heating system that runs very hot.

He has asked me, not terribly politely, twice before, to refrain from smoking near his window. I obliged. This evening, despite being some forty-to-fifty feet (conservative estimate) from his window, he comes pounding out his door and starts screaming at me. For one thing, how the [censored] does the smell of cigarettes wake someone up?

Second thing, I'm way out at the edge of the property precisely because he has complained before. Initially I relied on the simple explanation that I don't control the wind, and I'm not exactly anywhere near his [censored] window. That didn't suffice, so things got a little more heated. I am not the only person who smokes outside, and I understand that nonsmokers don't like smoke--makes sense--but nothing more than the faintest waft is getting in his [censored] window, and its hardly worth getting so [censored] humpty about it, especially considering some of the far more irritating things our less considerate neighbors do.

He has complained in the past, as well, about my talking on the phone outside, (I keep odd hours), and that complaint always seemed a little more legitimate, so I curtailed that activity.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Our landlord is a good guy, and I'm on good terms with him, but he is super hands off, so that option is somewhat out. Regardless of who complained to him, he would be highly unlikely to forward the message.

[housenuts]

throw the knucks. just let him toss the first one and be ready for it and make sure you turn your head so he just scrapes ya. then unleash the fury.

[jaxUp]

http://www.greenspeed.com.au/i15%20tools%20768.jpg

Take your pick. The one on the right looks particularly useful.

[tolbiny]

the guy is a prick- f him. I don't smoke- and i hate the smell of it, and there is no way this guy has any justification. At first i thought you were talking about smoking pot outside at 3am... but cigarettes? jesus christ man, that dude is being a douche- if he brings it up again, tell him to f himself and get ready to duck his first punch.

[Eurotrash]

hm. I guess I'll preface my answer by saying I don't think resorting to violence unnecessarily is a good idea.. so I'd like option one best. option three seems the least good, I think.


also, your grammar and vocabulary seem to indicate that you're kind of a big deal. like the kind of person who owns many leather-bound books and whose office smells of rich mahogany. i guess i should not be surprised from somebody with the word "inchoate" in their name. although not something i'd expect from one who was a brawler in their wayward youth..

nothing wrong with this, just an observation. carry on.


oh, right.. option one.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Yeah, despite leaning towards number one, that was kind of my take---the prick is really [censored] overreacting.

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
Its pretty minor.

I smoke. I don't like to smoke in my apartment, so I smoke outside. Most people in my building keep their windows open, even in winter, because we have a central heating system that runs very hot.

He has asked me, not terribly politely, twice before, to refrain from smoking near his window. I obliged. This evening, despite being some forty-to-fifty feet (conservative estimate) from his window, he comes pounding out his door and starts screaming at me. For one thing, how the [censored] does the smell of cigarettes wake someone up?

Second thing, I'm way out at the edge of the property precisely because he has complained before. Initially I relied on the simple explanation that I don't control the wind, and I'm not exactly anywhere near his [censored] window. That didn't suffice, so things got a little more heated. I am not the only person who smokes outside, and I understand that nonsmokers don't like smoke--makes sense--but nothing more than the faintest waft is getting in his [censored] window, and its hardly worth getting so [censored] humpty about it, especially considering some of the far more irritating things our less considerate neighbors do.

He has complained in the past, as well, about my talking on the phone outside, (I keep odd hours), and that complaint always seemed a little more legitimate, so I curtailed that activity.

[/ QUOTE ]

In spite of being someone very averse to cigarette smoke, I do agree that this is very minor. I'd try not to irritate him further, but he sounds like a douchebag and it may be difficult to avoid irritating him. If it comes down to it, lay down the smack, and f[/i]uck his wife.

[jaxUp]

[ QUOTE ]
and f[/i]uck his wife.

[/ QUOTE ] This is key.

[FoxwoodsFiend]

Swallow your pride, tell him you're sorry (assuming that he's not being completely unreasonable...you're not exactly being specific here), and try to avoid further confrontations. Risk of random, crazy [censored] from your neighbor is enough to justify a relatively minor concession. If we haven't learned to avoid letting our egos get in the way of making peace, then Biggie and Pac will have died for nothing.

Edit: YOU'RE SMOKING ON THE EDGE OF THE PROPERTY?!? Screw this guy-tell him to complain to the property manager if he doesn't like it, but your right to not have to walk for miles to smoke trumps his right to keep his window open, or at least the two are even so he should be more considerate.

[KidPokerX]

From the way you write I can assume you are an intelligent person - reasonable at the least. Therefore I think the best advice is the same advice you gave us. You know which is best.

[NotInchoateHand1]

I just spoke to my other neighbors, who are good people, and know the guy involved, so hopefully this will all blow over. In the interim, they have donated their porch for my smoking habit. Still pissed at the guy though. Way uncalled for.

[Mayhap]

Let it go. You'll be better off. Going forward, just enjoy farting in his general direction. Don't overdo it on the burritos though.

/M

[radek2166]

So I am sitting around jerking off

[heavybody]

He is a [censored] [censored] .Tell him to [censored]-off. You have gone out of your way to be a good neighbor . He is a self-righteous [censored]. [censored] him.

heavily bodied