Fish have forums too

[1337 skills]

link (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewcategory&gro upID=100015246&Mytoken=20050320232245)

A lot of the stuff there is worth reading if you're looking for a good laugh, but remember not to tap the glass.

[istewart]

You cannot let bad beats affect your play.... if it was just a God-awful call, you need to make a mental note about that player and move on.

Another recycled post here about my BB, but I'll rephrase.

Tourney on Pokerstars, 10s-6d in the blind. Flop comes 10h-10c-6h. All kinds of loose action, and I had been a folding machine up until this point. I push all in, and I get a call from someone who has me covered. As, 7d. GREAT, right?

I take my victory swig of Dr. Pepper (Diet Dr. Pepper these days) and look up in time to see the pot pushed to the other guy. The guy perfect catches to crush me, 9d, 8d to get a straight flush.

I checked the odds on cardplayer.com, and the guy's odds on the flop off winning were 0.2%. That's my worst bad beat to date.

[theredwave]

Since when does a three-card straight flush beat a full house?

[istewart]

[ QUOTE ]
Since when does a three-card straight flush beat a full house?

[/ QUOTE ]

hahaha

[Eurotrash]

excellent.. I was gagging with laughter at some of these. there's a great thread about "big laydowns" featuring a post where some guy lays down AA on an AKK board.

can you guess what his opponent had?

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]


too. funny.

[istewart]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

R
O
F
L

[splashpot]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I could understand if someone just didn't bother to learn pot odds, but he thinks he has it down. It's really not hard to learn. Sometimes I'm amazed at how dumb people are.

[splashpot]

[ QUOTE ]
Most of the time people don't have a full house. It's not something that comes up all the time. Sure it comes up, but not often. I've played games where I'd see one or two in a five hour game. So the chances of TWO people having a full house, and that being you and the other guy, well, that seems slim.


Since we are gambling, you gotta take a gamble and say: "Hey, there is a good chance he doesn't have a full house, and getting a four of a kind is rare, and getting a royal flush is even rarer. So I'll go ALL IN on the river."

[/ QUOTE ]

[BreakEvenPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
It happened to me last night, i have A Q suited, the short guy goes all in with A 5 pre flop, I call and of COURSE he catches a 5 and i'm [censored]. Also last night I had pocket queens and was put all in on a bluff from this dumbass with J 7, and the flop comes J 7 5. Sometimes you're just unlucky. NOTE: Both of these beats took place within half an hour of eachother!

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for making my night ahhahahah

[BreakEvenPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
I do give him credit though........when all the money went in........he did have way the best hand.....

[/ QUOTE ]

[partygirluk]

We have to all join that forum.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
We have to all join that forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

careful, don't tap the glass

[BreakEvenPlayer]

How about this gold all from the same post...

[ QUOTE ]
I lived in Vegas in the early to mid 90's and had a couple poker pros teach me then how to play right.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to sit in the MGM and Luxor and Excaliber on weekends and pic off tourists just like in Rounders

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I moved back to LA in the late 90's and continued to play live games @ Commerce the Bike and Hollywood Park till this very day - always holding my own and always booking a profit for every year I have been playing, grinding it out so you can usually find me several nights a week @ Commerce in the 9/18 game

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Pros dont scare me - as a matter of fact I prefer to play with good players cuz they will actually lay down 2nd pair or top pair with a bad kicker like they are supposed to so there arent as many bad beats on the river

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I have offered many of my secrets to you for free so you should know - I can play - now do you wanna peice of me???

I AM GOIN TO SELL 1/2 OF ME IN 5 PERCENT SHARES FOR THE 2005 WSOP MAIN EVENT.

[/ QUOTE ]


What a tool. Picks off tourists for since the early nineties in Vegas and now plays the $9-$18 game in LA... Wow.

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
How about this gold all from the same post...

[ QUOTE ]
I lived in Vegas in the early to mid 90's and had a couple poker pros teach me then how to play right.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to sit in the MGM and Luxor and Excaliber on weekends and pic off tourists just like in Rounders

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I moved back to LA in the late 90's and continued to play live games @ Commerce the Bike and Hollywood Park till this very day - always holding my own and always booking a profit for every year I have been playing, grinding it out so you can usually find me several nights a week @ Commerce in the 9/18 game

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Pros dont scare me - as a matter of fact I prefer to play with good players cuz they will actually lay down 2nd pair or top pair with a bad kicker like they are supposed to so there arent as many bad beats on the river

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
I have offered many of my secrets to you for free so you should know - I can play - now do you wanna peice of me???

I AM GOIN TO SELL 1/2 OF ME IN 5 PERCENT SHARES FOR THE 2005 WSOP MAIN EVENT.

[/ QUOTE ]


What a tool. Picks off tourists for since the early nineties in Vegas and now plays the $9-$18 game in LA... Wow.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't the biggest game at the Excalibur 1-2 or 2-4 or something? He's built up his roll significantly in that time! He's increased his stakes 9 fold!

lmfao

-James

[jaxUp]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

You missed the best part of the post, the title:

My play, brilliant in my opinion

[TBag]

For those of you w/out Myspace accounts, here are the user pics of Jace, a 19 year old male hailing from Albany and the poster of "My play, brilliant in my opinion."

We lead off with a picture titled, "Boston Red Sox, respect."
http://g.myspace.com/00046/98/65/46415689_l.jpg

Then there's the modern masterpiece, aptly titled "Hat." Such tastefully applied apathy, one can see that this young man is 110% business.
http://c.myspace.com/00065/46/54/65374564_l.jpg

But it gets better.

Here we see our young champion from when he was in 8th grade sporting his "Toys 'R' Us" polo tee, and he'll be damned if he's forced to grow up. In the background we catch his brother Haws in the middle of auditioning for the lead in Gay Jizz Fiesta XXVII.
http://g.myspace.com/00046/00/13/46793100_l.jpg

And then, my two favorites.

"I am Jermaine O'Neal and I can dunk with force."
http://g.myspace.com/00052/49/66/52536694_l.jpg

And probably the best picture ever,
"I am also Godzilla and I breathe fire."
http://g.myspace.com/00052/32/96/52536923_l.jpg

Myspace is terrific =)

[jaxUp]

my IQ just dropped by 50%

[jason_t]

http://g.myspace.com/00046/00/13/46793100_l.jpg

Is the guy behind our Hero having sex with that sign?

[willie]

holy craaaaaaap

this gets more and more funny.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

From the amended version of the "Do you want a piece of me?" thread where the guy KWAZAR is looking for people to buy shares of him in the WSOP.

This picture added because he thought the first thread didn't promote him enough.

http://img224.exs.cx/img224/1978/kwazarsbedspread1ks.jpg

[kurosh]

[ QUOTE ]
Hey all, been reading a lot and I am floored by people who multitable (and to do so to pay for playing online for a living). Does anyone multitable regularly? Is it a common thing? (I can't play and even pop popcorn, easily distracted). I wonder how taxing it must be! And how you get it set up on your computer; do you gravitate towards sites that have multitabling features or do you open & cascade windows on your own?

Maybe I'm just reading over @ 2+2 too much, but for some reason it's in my head that multitabling is common... How do you hang? How do you get to the point where you CAN hang with so many tables at once? Is it just experience once you have the skill? Or do you expect a lowered rate of return once you start multitabling? (Say if you're clearing a bonus-- maybe a lowered rate of return on your play would be acceptable...)

[/ QUOTE ]

[Michael Davis]

Nice work TBag. Good stuff.

-Michael

[NotInchoateHand1]

Right, I quit.

[1337 skills]

Also, don't turn this into another QLC thing.

[chaas4747]

Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

make it stop. this is making my side hurt.

[justin D]

I love how KWAZAR just has his phone on an old computer monitor.

[jakethebake]

She's kinda hott though...


http://g.myspace.com/00054/59/17/54787195_m.jpg

[chaas4747]

Thinking the samething. Could this be Peachy?

[jakethebake]

Way to aim high...

[ QUOTE ]
I am currently 17, but will be 18 very soon. I am hoping to be a dealer at one of the local casinos(in florida), but am not sure where to go from here...Should I go get dealer certification at a school or find a teacher? What would be some things I could possibly do to give me more of a chance to get the job? Anyone here with dealer experience here would be greatly appreciated if they could help me out with this...Thanks in advance~

[/ QUOTE ]

[beerbandit]

i thought you must have been talking about this (http://www.fishforums.net/)



cheers

[mgsimpleton]

"so many factors play into this. obscurities and vagueness aside, I've lost ONE hand that I can recall with a full house. I got AK, flop is K44. she bets 5, i call. turn is A. she bets 10. I call. river is A. she checks, I bet 10. She raises me 10, I call and she turns over pocket 4's. She knew I wouldn't call an all-in, and i didn't go for it cuz I didn't have the nuts and she was bettin from the 44 on the flop. It depends on ur situation, it really does."

man is a genius. and no, he didn't have the nuts. i would definitely never go all in here - i mean if they're betting on a K44 flop it's almost definitely 44, right?

[M2d]

poking around, it looks like they're trying to set up a myspace tournament. anyone want to sign up to the site just for a chance to play with these guys?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
poking around, it looks like they're trying to set up a myspace tournament. anyone want to sign up to the site just for a chance to play with these guys?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm way ahead of you. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[IndieMatty]

I'm so glad I never joined the myspace poker ring.

/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm so glad I never joined the myspace poker ring.

/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

You're actually a member of myspace? i just signed up today to go fishing in their tournament and mess with them later.

[IndieMatty]

Umm of course not.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Umm of course not.

[/ QUOTE ]

good. i didn't think so. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Benholio]

[ QUOTE ]
http://g.myspace.com/00046/00/13/46793100_l.jpg

Is the guy behind our Hero having sex with that sign?

[/ QUOTE ]

How are these guys not in 'the pool' yet??

[junkmail3]

[ QUOTE ]


wtf is multitable? :\



[/ QUOTE ]


Edit: Should have replied to kurosh

[Eurotrash]

[ QUOTE ]
Now new situation new cards cards

Delt: dealt k-10, a tight player raises preflop you call

flop comes A-K-10 you bet and he raises, now you may be thinking straight, but you call

turn comes 10, you hit your boat, you bet and again he raises

river comes blank,

you go all in in this situation and you are [censored]. He prolly has AA or KK and his boat is going to rape yours. So in this situation you might want to just check, or throw out a couple of chips and hope he calls in order to avoid him from going all in. and taking you


[/ QUOTE ]


brilliant!

our hero:

http://g.myspace.com/00051/23/14/51104132_m.jpg

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
you go all in in this situation and you are [censored]. He prolly has AA or KK and his boat is going to rape yours. So in this situation you might want to just check, or throw out a couple of chips and hope he calls in order to avoid him from going all in. and taking you

[/ QUOTE ]

he didn't say what suits. a royal could be out there as well.

[Homer]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Now new situation new cards cards

Delt: dealt k-10, a tight player raises preflop you call

flop comes A-K-10 you bet and he raises, now you may be thinking straight, but you call

turn comes 10, you hit your boat, you bet and again he raises

river comes blank,

you go all in in this situation and you are [censored]. He prolly has AA or KK and his boat is going to rape yours. So in this situation you might want to just check, or throw out a couple of chips and hope he calls in order to avoid him from going all in. and taking you


[/ QUOTE ]


brilliant!

our hero:

http://g.myspace.com/00051/23/14/51104132_m.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

When I first saw that picture, I thought it was that John Murphy kid from last year's WSOP. He probably doesn't play this well, though, so I doubt it's him.

[partygirluk]

You can't post until 7 days after joining /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Eurotrash]

i agree.

it's best to slow down with kings or aces full just in case the ace-high straight flush is lurking. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
http://g.myspace.com/00046/00/13/46793100_l.jpg

Is the guy behind our Hero having sex with that sign?

[/ QUOTE ]

Somehow, I doubt even that sign would have sex with anybody involved in this story...

[BusterStacks]

my neighbor gets hot hoes from myspace. I'm thinking about doing it.

[TBag]

[ QUOTE ]
Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img35.exs.cx/img35/5373/hottub25ub.jpg

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

Even better is when he replied with this:

Oh, and I said pot odds when I really didn't mean too. I meant that on the flop the odds are pretty much 50/50 that either high cards or low cards are coming.

[jack spade23]

I found this little gem in there: "Ace rag is a good hand against a random hand". Somebody from here please, please get into their tourney

[M2d]

so, I replied. let's see if I can feed the fish.

[M2d]

this so calls for an el diablo lagfest.

[Asufiji2004]

[ QUOTE ]
my neighbor gets hot hoes from myspace. I'm thinking about doing it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I work with a girl that has screwed 3 guys she met on myspace in the last 5 months. I mean she's a whore, but if you're into meeting slutty chicks with no self-esteem, this place is a goldmine.

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
so, I replied. let's see if I can feed the fish.

[/ QUOTE ]
Are you m? I couldn't help but respond too. I didn't even think it would go through until it did.

[masse75]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten & twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I read this one, too...where can I find this guy?

[M2d]

yeah, that's me.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[/ QUOTE ]



http://img110.exs.cx/img110/9683/hottub8of.jpg

[Isura]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img35.exs.cx/img35/5373/hottub25ub.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

http://www.geocities.com/isura21/hottub25ub.jpg

[Isura]

beat me to it.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[/ QUOTE ]

BRILLIANT!

[IggyWH]

The evolution of this picture is just a thing of beauty!

[ilya]

Umm, what's the problem here? Depending on the size of the pot and how much Hero and Villain have behind, pushing could well be horrible.

[kyro]

In the Tournament thread:

[ QUOTE ]

Shy: Can girls come toooooo? It would be fun

Michael: Don't even ask a silly question like that. Of course you can come.


[/ QUOTE ]

Am I the only one that read that as thilly?

[GrekeHaus]

[ QUOTE ]
She's kinda hott though...


http://g.myspace.com/00054/59/17/54787195_m.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd do her.

P.S. This is one of the funniest threads ever.

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
She's kinda hott though...


http://g.myspace.com/00054/59/17/54787195_m.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]
I'd do her.

P.S. This is one of the funniest threads ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

Finally I have contributed something great to the 2+2 community. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[masse75]

Another Gem...from a thread about playing low limit "no fold em":

KWAZAR

M/99
Right next door to HELL,
CALIFORNIA

Posted: February 5, 2005 1:23 AM


when you get to play a real game of poker and not "best hand on the river" you will be picking and choosing better games - I cant play in games like that and dont expect anyone else to win at it consistantly - you dont have any choices - you just make a hand or not and K/2 suited is just as good a starting hand as A/K cuz you need at least 2 pair to win virtually every hand - I would rather play 7/8 suited than A/K there cuz you can fold when you dont flop a monster

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Someone put these fuckers in the hot tub.

[/ QUOTE ]



http://img110.exs.cx/img110/9683/hottub8of.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]


OH MY FUGGIN GAWD DIS IS BARRIRRIANT!!!!!!!!!


THIS PICTURE MUST NEVER DIE, AND MUST BE UPDATED REPEATEDLY

[mcb]

Very nice work mi amigo..

[Ianco15]

[ QUOTE ]
when you get to play a real game of poker and not "best hand on the river" you will be picking and choosing better games - I cant play in games like that and dont expect anyone else to win at it consistantly - you dont have any choices - you just make a hand or not and K/2 suited is just as good a starting hand as A/K cuz you need at least 2 pair to win virtually every hand - I would rather play 7/8 suited than A/K there cuz you can fold when you dont flop a monster

[/ QUOTE ]

Well think... I don't see how you can fold A/K at any point during a hand. Some hands just have to go to a showdown regardless.

[IndieMatty]

This is wonderful.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
This is wonderful.

[/ QUOTE ] I haven't laughed that hard over something on this forum in a long time, the progression of additions were perfect.

[1337 skills]

favorite hands? (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&entry ID=1060111&categoryID=0&IsSticky=0&groupID=1000152 46&Mytoken=20050321211431)

[Vince Young]

"pocket tens... i actually hate pocket kings, i've lost too many times with them... well twice, but those losses hurt..."

[Eurotrash]

eh, I figured that I didn't really clarify that well enough. what I thought was amusing was his advice about "throwing a few chips out" to prevent the guy from reraising you with aces full or kings full. as if it'd actually work.

[eric5148]

A book suggestion by Big Mike:

[ QUOTE ]
personally.. i have phil hellmuths original book.. and its actually pretty good... i havent read up on the parts past hold'em cause my friends dont play anything else yet.. but i like his philosiphy(yea i spelt it wrong) on how to play the game

[/ QUOTE ]

[eric5148]

"Dean" on getting used to online poker:

[ QUOTE ]
thx kwaz

online poker took me a lil while to get used to, its really ez to get ur aces cracked 3 times in one sitting then go on tilt and play blackjack and lose the rest of ur roll

[/ QUOTE ]

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
"Dean" on getting used to online poker:

[ QUOTE ]
thx kwaz

online poker took me a lil while to get used to, its really ez to get ur aces cracked 3 times in one sitting then go on tilt and play blackjack and lose the rest of ur roll

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Man, this place is a goldmine.

Freakin

[FrankLu99]

thanks for the link. i just signed up with their group!

[Wes ManTooth]

"nothin hotter than 3 4 diamonds i'll cap that pre flop anyday .. fo sho"

[shant]

.......4, and bet. (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=462 6545&friendName=ramsus&Mytoken=20050322002816)

[aron]

Our friend Chris wrote. [ QUOTE ]
10-8 clubs is my lucky hand, but trash hands that hit (4-2 clubs) are the best. They give you the best payoff.


[/ QUOTE ]
Where do these people come from?

-aron

[mmbt0ne]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
Our friend Chris wrote. </font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
10-8 clubs is my lucky hand, but trash hands that hit (4-2 clubs) are the best. They give you the best payoff.


[/ QUOTE ]
Where do these people come from?

-aron

[/ QUOTE ]

Rich parents hopefully.

[kurosh]

In 7 days (that's how long it takes before you can post after registering) we should all make a post on the board "sup bro" and everyone reply to it.

[jason_t]

[ QUOTE ]
the table you choose can make abig difference between how much you can win in a night. i look for a table that has alot of money with good cards and loose players. if i can sit there and play tight i usually come up pretty good.

[/ QUOTE ]

Make sure you sit at a table where AA is being dealt a lot; that's a sure sign that good things are coming.

[partygirluk]

Is anyone else thinking that these guys need Sup Bro to tell them how it is?

[junkmail3]

Whoever 'john' is, 'knows too much.'

[ QUOTE ]

(only dumb fish on Party Poker play this crap, pros never do),


[/ QUOTE ]

You're making them think. And whoever plays 93s now thinks they're a fish.

Nice avatar though.

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
So today I played in a high stakes big buy in no limit texas hold 'em tournament at the Bellagio Casino in Las Vegas. When I arrived and drew my seat I looked around and realized that there were tons of pros here and this would definately be a tough tournament, but I felt ready to play my best game. My first table, there were four guys whom I'd seen on TV playing in the World Series of Poker and the World Poker Tour so I was a bit scared, but I decided not to let it get to me and play my best because I knew I was good enough to play with these guys. I haven't been playing poker long, but I definately know I have special talent, I have been playing on Party Poker with play money and I have been destroying everyone, I am very good at reading players and always know when to make the proper move. I've also religiously studied the book of professional poker player and NINE TIME World Series of Poker Champion Phil Helmuth (the best poker player in the world) so much that I pretty much have it memorized which gives me a huge advantage over most players. So anyways, early on in the tournament, blinds are at 25/50, I have 5000 in chips, it's folded to me on the button and I decided to try to steal the blinds with 9-3 suited and raise to 150. I never play 9-3 because it is a junk hand (only dumb fish on Party Poker play this crap, pros never do), but I had great position and it was also suited. The small blind folds, but the big blind calls me. Hmm. The flop comes down 9-3-J rainbow. Jackpot, I've hit two pair! The big blind checks to me, and I bet 200. A lot of people slowplay two pair and check, but that is the wrong thing to do because if you check you let people see cards for free and they can put bad beats on you, according to Helmuth's book. After my 200 chip bet the big blind immediately goes all in. I stared at him for a few seconds and I was able to read him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses. He had pocket queens or pocket kings. I call him and flip over my 9-3 while he, sure enough, flips over pocket queens in disgust. The turn and river are no help and he goes out early. As he leaves he yells at me about what a terrible play I made and how stupid I am for playing 9-3, when in actuality I played perfect poker, sensing his weakness and trapping him into giving me all his chips. Some people just need to quit being babies and accept that they have been outplayed...

I go card dead for a while, when the blinds go up to 200/400 I start making some steals and manage to get my stack up to around 12k when this hand comes up. I'm in middle position with A-4 suited (spades). It's folded to me and I raise to 1200. Folded to the button, who goes all in for 10k more. It's folded back to me and I begin to think. I'd been paying very special attention to this player because I had seen him on TV recently in a WPT event, he had gotten second. I had also taped his WPT appearance and studied it a bunch so I had a lot of tells on him and such. As I thought and calculated percentages in my head I came to the conclusion that he had pocket kings. Though pocket kings are a big favorite over A-4, I ended up calling because the pot odds were just too good, especially since the blinds were high and everything. Also my hand had the advantage of being suited, while his hand was offsuit. So we flip our cards up and watch as the flop comes J-10-K, one spade. The turn is a 2 of spades, and the river is a 3 of spades, giving me the nut flush and doubling me up to chipleader. I normally wouldn't call all in with A-4, but they were suited, and there were tremendous pot odds.

It's been a long day and I'm tired so I will post the rest of this report tomorrow, I hope you guys are enjoying this chance to read about a real professional poker tournament! Feel free to message me with any questions or if you need advice!

[/ QUOTE ]

[mcb]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Our friend Chris wrote. [ QUOTE ]
10-8 clubs is my lucky hand, but trash hands that hit (4-2 clubs) are the best. They give you the best payoff.


[/ QUOTE ]
Where do these people come from?

-aron

[/ QUOTE ]

Rich parents hopefully.

[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

[chaas4747]

There are so many funny lines is this, I would have to highlight the entire thing. Funny [censored], and by the way, They are suited!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
You can't post until 7 days after joining /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I think they added this rule after their buddy at QLC sent them an e-mail.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Our friend Chris wrote. [ QUOTE ]
10-8 clubs is my lucky hand, but trash hands that hit (4-2 clubs) are the best. They give you the best payoff.


[/ QUOTE ]
Where do these people come from?

-aron

[/ QUOTE ]

Rich parents hopefully.

[/ QUOTE ]

Beautiful!

[Victor]

this is proly the funniest thing i have ever read. i wish the tv pro he busted reads this.

nice find radek!

[M2d]

so, I wrote
[ QUOTE ]
Man, that was a great read. if you don't get your cards on the flop then you only lose a buck, but if you get them, you can win his whole stack. good job.

[/ QUOTE ]
and the OP responded
[ QUOTE ]
That's kinda the point I was trying to make....

[/ QUOTE ]

methinks I need to keep sprinkling brine shrimp in the aquarium.

[M2d]

a response to this post was
[ QUOTE ]
im also a big fan a Phil and his Book is great usually the ones who write bad about it either are idiots who:
1. hate phil no matter what
2. have SKIMMED through the whole book


[/ QUOTE ]

or 3) mason malmuth

[chaas4747]

Just changed my location to:

reading him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses

In honor of this post!

[ToneLoc]

It is a gimmick forum.

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
In 7 days (that's how long it takes before you can post after registering) we should all make a post on the board "sup bro" and everyone reply to it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I tried this a while ago but KWAZAR deleted the thread.

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
It is a gimmick forum.

[/ QUOTE ]

No way. These guys are for real.

[ToneLoc]

[ QUOTE ]
No way. These guys are for real.

[/ QUOTE ]

The posts suggest an IQ inferior to the minimum necessary to be able to use a computer...

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
So anyways, early on in the tournament, blinds are at 25/50, I have 5000 in chips, it's folded to me on the button and I decided to try to steal the blinds with 9-3 suited and raise to 150. I never play 9-3 because it is a junk hand (only dumb fish on Party Poker play this crap, pros never do), but I had great position and it was also suited. The small blind folds, but the big blind calls me. Hmm. The flop comes down 9-3-J rainbow. Jackpot, I've hit two pair! The big blind checks to me, and I bet 200. A lot of people slowplay two pair and check, but that is the wrong thing to do because if you check you let people see cards for free and they can put bad beats on you, according to Helmuth's book. After my 200 chip bet the big blind immediately goes all in. I stared at him for a few seconds and I was able to read him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses. He had pocket queens or pocket kings. I call him and flip over my 9-3 while he, sure enough, flips over pocket queens in disgust.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this a totally bad poker play? He tried a steal, got called, and got lucky on the flop. Well, the early situation might not have called for it, and the guy is a tool for saying stuff like "I was able to read him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses," but this isn't any different than something I try every now and then.

Of course, I'm usually no good at flopping 2-pair with crap.

[M2d]

He took a shot at the blinds, got looked up and flopped lucky. no big. then, however, he writes:
[ QUOTE ]
Some people just need to quit being babies and accept that they have been outplayed...


[/ QUOTE ] about QQ guy.

[Petro]

I'm torn. I'm not sure what's funnier: the post itself, or that some 2+2ers think it's real. Hats off to whoever wrote it. Gotta love humor with multiple levels.

[chaas4747]

Sup bro is flying
Sup Bro? (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1557565&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=1000152 46&amp;Mytoken=20050322225942)

Way to represent M2d

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm torn. I'm not sure what's funnier: the post itself, or that some 2+2ers think it's real. Hats off to whoever wrote it. Gotta love humor with multiple levels.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why wouldn't we think it's real? People are like this /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
So anyways, early on in the tournament, blinds are at 25/50, I have 5000 in chips, it's folded to me on the button and I decided to try to steal the blinds with 9-3 suited and raise to 150. I never play 9-3 because it is a junk hand (only dumb fish on Party Poker play this crap, pros never do), but I had great position and it was also suited. The small blind folds, but the big blind calls me. Hmm. The flop comes down 9-3-J rainbow. Jackpot, I've hit two pair! The big blind checks to me, and I bet 200. A lot of people slowplay two pair and check, but that is the wrong thing to do because if you check you let people see cards for free and they can put bad beats on you, according to Helmuth's book. After my 200 chip bet the big blind immediately goes all in. I stared at him for a few seconds and I was able to read him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses. He had pocket queens or pocket kings. I call him and flip over my 9-3 while he, sure enough, flips over pocket queens in disgust.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is this a totally bad poker play? He tried a steal, got called, and got lucky on the flop. Well, the early situation might not have called for it, and the guy is a tool for saying stuff like "I was able to read him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses," but this isn't any different than something I try every now and then.

Of course, I'm usually no good at flopping 2-pair with crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

A 2+2er wrote that one, guys. It's satire.

[M2d]

I wasn't sure it was real to begin with, but, given other posts there, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed it was. then I checked and saw that bellagio didn't have a tournament yesterday. now I had a quandry. do I call him on it or play along. then, when someone else questioned the op, I decided to chime in and play good little soldier so I don't get banned before their tournaments.

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]

A 2+2er wrote that one, guys. It's satire.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh. *never mind*

I need to register for this forum and start feeding the fish myself.

"You can't win if you fold."

[junkmail3]

[ QUOTE ]

15 tackles for losses in '95


[/ QUOTE ]

Current age: 19
Age during 'high school' in '95: 9

Good cover story I guess.

[M2d]

how else you gonna score with the 16 year old hotties on myspace if you don't fudge your age a little?

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
Just changed my location to:

reading him perfectly because he hadn't worn sunglasses

In honor of this post!

[/ QUOTE ]

at least we know the big name pro wasn't bill fillmaff.

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I was playing with my buddies in our usual cheap friendly game. ten &amp; twenty cent blinds, buy-ins at 5 bucks. I had increased my chip stack to about $15 at this time. I'm sitting to the left of the dealer in the small blind. It's 5 handed. I get dealt 5c 4s. Everyone folds to the dealer, who raise to a dollar total. It's just one on one, so I have put him on high cards, and I call with my pot odds. I mean, the next three cards are gonna hit for one of us, plus, another 90 cents isn't nothing to my stack, which was the big stack at the time.

The flop comes 4d 5h 6h. He goes all in, an attempt to take the pot down, or he put me on high cards too. I still have him on high cards and I call, it's a 6 dollar or so bet. He turns over Big Slick of Clubs. I win the hand, and he was pissed that I called, and called me "garbage".

Me personally, I thought it was just plain me outplaying him.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

I could understand if someone just didn't bother to learn pot odds, but he thinks he has it down. It's really not hard to learn. Sometimes I'm amazed at how dumb people are.

[/ QUOTE ]

I also thought the pot odds were the funniest part. I guess getting 1.2 to 1 means you are getting the right odds to call. I, personally, liked how his friend said he was garbage haha. I've actually seen kids in the dorms get in fights over $5 buy in games. jesus.

[lighterjobs]

after a guy posts he wants to learn games besides hold'em he gets this reply:

[ QUOTE ]
learn the basics of any game and then once you are good enough to play at higher limits you will be proficient enough to play any no limit or pot limit game and in any game you want to be going in to the last card with the best hand 90% of the time and if you arent - learn not to chase for a lot of chips and fold a lot more and wait for the hands that go your way and you will always book a winning year

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't even comprehend what he is trying to say.

[chaas4747]

I think this means the original poster is mentally retarded. Seems to be a theme in that forum.

[lighterjobs]

btw, here is his reply to his post:

[ QUOTE ]
I guess you would have had to be there. I mean, the raise before the flop was less than %5 of my stack, and I knew he had high cards. If high cards came on the flop I was gone. I flopped two pair, so even if he had a pocket pair he was beat.

Oh, and I said pot odds when I really didn't mean too. I meant that on the flop the odds are pretty much 50/50 that either high cards or low cards are coming.

But alas, I guess you had to be there.


[/ QUOTE ]

you had to be there to know how to calculate pot odds. priceless.

[TheJunkyardGod]

Don't think anyone noticed this little comment concerning Harringtons book..

[ QUOTE ]
I don't read anything by that publisher, twotimestwo or whatever it's called. They're a bunch of nits. But if you say it's good, I may have to check it out. Plus, Harrington's green BoSox hat is straight baller status.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahhahahah

[lighterjobs]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't think anyone noticed this little comment concerning Harringtons book..

[ QUOTE ]
I don't read anything by that publisher, twotimestwo or whatever it's called. They're a bunch of nits. But if you say it's good, I may have to check it out. Plus, Harrington's green BoSox hat is straight baller status.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahhahahah

[/ QUOTE ]

jesus christ.. that might be the funniest thing i have ever read.

[codewarrior]

That's gold. Just gold..... /images/graemlins/cool.gif

[junkmail3]

I know. I'm just sayin'. If you want only 2+2 to know who's who, the reply to 'sup bro' has to be a believable to the people who have no idea.

If I were reading that site I'd be:

"like w.t.f mate?! This kid was only 9 years old and on his HS football team. I think this might be a joke, I'm going to go over to twotimestwo and check it out."

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
I know. I'm just sayin'. If you want only 2+2 to know who's who, the reply to 'sup bro' has to be a believable to the people who have no idea.

If I were reading that site I'd be:

"like w.t.f mate?! This kid was only 9 years old and on his HS football team. I think this might be a joke, I'm going to go over to twotimestwo and check it out."

[/ QUOTE ]

That's me. I fixed it.

[chaas4747]

Do you really think any of those retarded fuckers can do the math?

[M2d]

2 plus/minus/times/divided by 2 wasn't named in the thread, I don't think. they'll just think we're a bunch of idiots. we'll be accepted that way.

[junkmail3]

Good point.

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Don't think anyone noticed this little comment concerning Harringtons book..

[ QUOTE ]
I don't read anything by that publisher, twotimestwo or whatever it's called. They're a bunch of nits. But if you say it's good, I may have to check it out. Plus, Harrington's green BoSox hat is straight baller status.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahhahahah

[/ QUOTE ]

jesus christ.. that might be the funniest thing i have ever read.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks, glad to be of service.

[someguy2]

Some guy posted a link to HPFAP on bittorrent...
Hurry up and post replies saying that it's a terrible book!

[1337 skills]

Who's going to take care of this?

HPFAP (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1564216&amp;groupID=100015246&amp;Mytoken=2005032213462 0)

[shant]

[ QUOTE ]
Who's going to take care of this?

HPFAP (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1564216&amp;groupID=100015246&amp;Mytoken=2005032213462 0)

[/ QUOTE ]

Done.

[TheJunkyardGod]

As well...(MartyGentleman)

Any actual myspacers feel free to send me a message or anything.

[M2d]

and done

[1337 skills]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's what HPFAP stands for:

How to
Play Hold Em
For
A
Pathetic Nit

I trust how many players I can read, not pages.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well done sir.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure what's funnier: the post itself, or that some 2+2ers think it's real.

[/ QUOTE ]

They're both equal in funnitude.

[Mr. Zero]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm not sure what's funnier: the post itself, or that some 2+2ers think it's real.

[/ QUOTE ]

They're both equal in funnitude.

[/ QUOTE ]

The "I got a read because no sunglasses" post also got a serious page long reply. So clearly it isn't that out of the ordinary for the myspace.com forum.

[shant]

Another gem I just found:

"you have to play sloppy to win sloppy. ideally, you should almost never win a hand on the river unless you had pot odds, were semi-bluffing, or the whole hand was checked down."

[chaas4747]

The Ken Warren comeback by M2d after the Shant post is classic.

[Mr. Zero]

In "Playing for Real Money Online", Poker Steve writes:

"How is a tight enviroment bad, unless you're incredibly tight yourself? Even then its not bad. The last thing you want with KK is 7 callers preflop

[chaas4747]

[ QUOTE ]
I laugh at all the people questioning me on this board. You are like those fish on Party Poker who talk smack to me and end up getting owned and losing thousands of dollars to me.

Tony, keep playing your micro limit games and wishing for a chance to play real high stakes professional poker like I did at the Bellagio (instead of watching it on TV every night). Maybe one day you will have a kid with some ugly woman (because attractive women only bang professional poker players like me) and raise him to be a professional poker player like me and live through him because you never had a chance to live a life like mine. You think you know a lot about poker, trying to analyze my play, but you don't, poker is largely a game of feel and instinct, sometimes you just feel that you're going to hit two pair or a flush and you play whatever cards you're dealt. It is this tremendous instinct and feel ability that makes me such a good player.

I have to go now, I am having lunch with some other professional poker players, we always discuss top secret strategy and stuff, and then later I am going to tear up the fish on the Party Poker. To my fans who have been waiting for part two of my trip report, I apologize, but I promise I will put it up soon, and you will be rewarded for your support.


[/ QUOTE ]

[htc1278]

[ QUOTE ]
i thought you must have been talking about this (http://www.fishforums.net/)



cheers

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/wink.gif Me too. LOL. I am much happier with this thread, however...

[radek2166]

I don't get banned before their tournaments.


WHens their tourney?

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This is wonderful.

[/ QUOTE ] I haven't laughed that hard over something on this forum in a long time, the progression of additions were perfect.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hell, we're gonna have to create a sticky to explain the picture because you know after a while, the hot tub is gonna be crowded and people will be like "Who is that?"

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
favorite hands? (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1060111&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=1000152 46&amp;Mytoken=20050321211431)

[/ QUOTE ]

I now know where my Empire buddy list members come from...

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Where do these people come from?

-aron

[/ QUOTE ]

...and on the 8th day, God created fish

[Civiliste]

[ QUOTE ]


...and on the 8th day, God created fish...



[/ QUOTE ]

'...and it was good.'

[manik]

Sorry if this has been said... But omg. This forum makes me feel like I'm going to hyperventilate... The shear ignorance of the posters.... (to paraphrase sarcastically) "Don't read lots of books to understand how many people think. Only read Hellmuth's. Sklansky's books will make you play like a robot." I'm just out of words to describe how much I love these people.

[Mr. Zero]

The section you cite is actually from a 2+2er who's swimming with the fishies. So take some of it with a grain of salt. But yeah...

[Ian M.]

Did anyone read "Springing the trap...." on page 5? "The Lee" defending his use of minimum bets in no limit says, "If everyone played the way Doyle or Phil wanted you to play then it would be a game of chance not skill."

haha, is he implying he knows something they don't?

[JinX11]

Favorite Thread! (toggle)

[jimymat]

.

[jimymat]

Funniest thing ever. Two plus two infiltrating the fish forum. We will take it over. Filling there forums with disinformation. The next logical step is to start a post on your names at the websites ( PS, PP,etc..) and get them on the buddy list. What a good time reading this post. Im going to open an account there. We need something to identifiy ourselves.

[EliteNinja]

[ QUOTE ]
I love how KWAZAR just has his phone on an old computer monitor.

[/ QUOTE ]

I find it's funny that he doesn't know about the PrintScreen key and he has to take a digital photo of his screen!!!

[BreakEvenPlayer]

[ QUOTE ]
Sure i've lost with aces before, but only when someone else makes a mistake and plays something stupid like 7 2.

But if you look at stats, aces beat flushes at least 1/3 of the time so I figure the call would be profitable.

[/ QUOTE ]



I might have to start reading this forum everyday before I come to OOT. So f-ing funny.

[splashpot]

It is now somewhat difficult to differentiate the fake posts from the real ones. We should create a list of 2+2 posters and what their myspace names are.

[BreakEvenPlayer]

Yeah the last one I quoted was a 2+2er. Ingenious stuff.

[TBag]

[ QUOTE ]
I enjoyed the story. It was like someone who knows nothing about baseball writing a piece on the World Series. This kid wouldn't know the nuts if they smacked him in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, the OP knows the feeling of getting smacked in the face with the nuts very well. What a tremendous colllection of douche bags =P

[partygirluk]

Who here has signed up for Myspace? I have, and am really looking forward to 6 days from now.

[TBag]

^^^^^^^^^^^

LMAO @ avatar. Well played.

[TheJunkyardGod]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Sure i've lost with aces before, but only when someone else makes a mistake and plays something stupid like 7 2.

But if you look at stats, aces beat flushes at least 1/3 of the time so I figure the call would be profitable.

[/ QUOTE ]



I might have to start reading this forum everyday before I come to OOT. So f-ing funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

I try, I try. The funniest part is that I know enough people who play like that who could put up that argument.

We need to gather everyones myspace names to know who's who.

[chaas4747]

I'm in. 5 days and counting.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I know so much more about poker than almost all of my friends. I may even know more then ALL of them, but I still find myself losing in the end. I think I found one key thing my game lacks, and that is the ability to spot tells and read opponents. I've finally figured out that my friend's whole strategy is based on that... for the most part. He's gotten so good at reading my friends and I. I can still out wit him sometimes, but he usually winds up beating me. So I'm doing what I can, and I ordered another book. Mike Caro's book of tells. Hopefully that will set me straight, and I will improve upon that part of my game. Although, I really do feel that I'm a good player (relatively). I know I could sit down at alot of tables in my town and be the best player there, but as soon as there is one better player then me, I tend to lose in those games. I've just made it my goal to become the best player I possibly can. And now I'll stop rambling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, you're a loser because you haven't read a book on tells yet. Ha Ha.

[JinX11]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I know so much more about poker than almost all of my friends. I may even know more then ALL of them, but I still find myself losing in the end. I think I found one key thing my game lacks, and that is the ability to spot tells and read opponents. I've finally figured out that my friend's whole strategy is based on that... for the most part. He's gotten so good at reading my friends and I. I can still out wit him sometimes, but he usually winds up beating me. So I'm doing what I can, and I ordered another book. Mike Caro's book of tells. Hopefully that will set me straight, and I will improve upon that part of my game. Although, I really do feel that I'm a good player (relatively). I know I could sit down at alot of tables in my town and be the best player there, but as soon as there is one better player then me, I tend to lose in those games. I've just made it my goal to become the best player I possibly can. And now I'll stop rambling.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, you're a loser because you haven't read a book on tells yet. Ha Ha.

[/ QUOTE ]

This site just gets better and better every day I read it. This thread should be auto-bumped regularly.

1337 - you've done good, my friend.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm like the only guy in my school who is hardcore into poker, but I am trying to get other people into it, and it drives me absolutely nuts when I lose because you can't outbet people who don't know what they are doing.

For instance. I got Big Slick to start out with. I raised it about half of my chips. EVERYONE CALLED!!! It came down to the river, and everyone had like 3, 7 off suit, and like 9,4 and I lost cuz somone was lucky enough to get 2 pair, but my point is, its so hard trying to tell somone that calling a big raise with nothing is a bad idea, when they will always win with them.

Does anyone have any good tips? Again, its almost IMPOSSIBLE to bluff these guys, cuz they practically don't know what they are doing.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is so much fun. Maybe the optimists are right. Maybe the pond will never dry up.

[partygirluk]

This (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=941809&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=10001524 6&amp;Mytoken=20050323065050) thread is pretty funny.

[jakethebake]

it keeps getting better and better.

[ QUOTE ]
Shade is another great poker movie. I recommend you guys to go rent it!

[/ QUOTE ]

[codewarrior]

Sometimes, it's in your own backyard.... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

link to thread in the zoo (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Number=1988107&amp;page=0&amp;view=colla psed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=14&amp;fpart=1)

[codewarrior]

This Poker Steve character lives in my town....

must. find. home. game.....

[Skjonne]

[ QUOTE ]
This (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=941809&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=10001524 6&amp;Mytoken=20050323065050) thread is pretty funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG. Dude raises half his stack with AK because.....
[ QUOTE ]
We had to split 100 poker chips between 6 people, so I didn't have much to begin with.

[/ QUOTE ]

And the guy 'Ryan' starts a reply with

[ QUOTE ]
Poker Steve and Kwazar are both exactly right. They both said everything that I was gonna say.

[/ QUOTE ]

....and then he ramples for 28 (Twenty Eight) lines more /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
The section you cite is actually from a 2+2er who's swimming with the fishies. So take some of it with a grain of salt. But yeah...

[/ QUOTE ]

But that is a classic!

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
We need something to identifiy ourselves.


[/ QUOTE ]

No. IMHO thats tapping on the glass

[radek2166]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I enjoyed the story. It was like someone who knows nothing about baseball writing a piece on the World Series. This kid wouldn't know the nuts if they smacked him in the face.

[/ QUOTE ]

Obviously, the OP knows the feeling of getting smacked in the face with the nuts very well. What a tremendous colllection of douche bags =P

[/ QUOTE ]

Hate when the nuts smack me in da face

[TheJunkyardGod]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We need something to identifiy ourselves.


[/ QUOTE ]

No. IMHO thats tapping on the glass

[/ QUOTE ]

on here, not on there. Unless of course you think that's going too far as well.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We need something to identifiy ourselves.


[/ QUOTE ]
No. IMHO thats tapping on the glass

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it really that hard to tell who the fakes are?

[IndieMatty]

You know I usually use MS to stalk 17 yr old girls...now Im spending my time reading this crap, you guys suck.

[Roland]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
We need something to identifiy ourselves.


[/ QUOTE ]
No. IMHO thats tapping on the glass

[/ QUOTE ]

Is it really that hard to tell who the fakes are?

[/ QUOTE ]

That guy "Jace" who posted "My play, brilliant in my opinion"? In would have thought he's a fake if I didn't know better.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
You know I usually use MS to stalk 17 yr old girls...now Im spending my time reading this crap, you guys suck.

[/ QUOTE ]

What is MS? And you can pm me any usernames you won't have time for. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[IndieMatty]

Myspace. And no. They're mine.

[Bulldog]

[ QUOTE ]
Most tells are VERY subtle, and Kwaz is right... guys use reverse tells all the time. I had my first royal flush the other day, and shook my head when my money card came on the river, like I was disgusted. The guy took two extra stabs at the pot before realizing my dominating power in that hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

The more I read the funnier it gets.

[jakethebake]

Uh oh. They're on to us... LINK. (http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;group ID=100015246&amp;page=1&amp;EntryID=1558098&amp;CategoryID=0&amp;g et=1&amp;lastpagesent=0&amp;Mytoken=20050323084136)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Im only 16 but im full of tips first play very tight the first couple times around to see how every one plays, try to go to a table where people are drinking. Notice small things like if they are looking at the community cards like staring they probably have nothing. Also if they play with there chips a lot after they bet there bluffing or have there hand over there mouth. If they sit up and put the chips in the pot neatly the person probably have something. Many people will tell you what there hand is with there betting styles. If you stack your chips up in a big stack when you go all in it will make it look like you have a lot of chips and make people fold.

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[iMsoLucky0]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah even Cardplayer has Max Shapiro for the humor section so I guess we could use a few flakes to lighten it up around here - I am not gonna delete this thread cuz I am interested in John "secrets"

oh please John - tell us more about being suited and running down people


[/ QUOTE ]

Haha, we're actually entertaining to THEM. What a concept. I hate being a flake /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[KaiShin]

I'm reading that thread right now and everyone at work is looking at me like I'm cracked /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[jakethebake]

I think KWAZA might be the funniest one.

[ QUOTE ]
I have posted many of my secrets here in my "POKER
PLAYERS" group (many, but not all!)....

Pros don't scare me - as a matter of fact I prefer to
play with good players. I have played in live games
with many of them, and can hold my own against them,
no problemo. Most of them don't have the experiece I
have anyway - they just have bigger bankrolls or other
people backing them.

Hell, you don't even have to be 21 years old to do this - just 18 (or get your folks in on it!).

But hurry -- After the end of the month I'm lockin' it
up. I'm already stalling off a couple of big backers
who want in on this, and I don't want to give up too
much of my own action.

[/ QUOTE ]

[M2d]

my mea culpa to the great wsop qualifier that is kwazar:

tail between my legs (http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;group ID=100015246&amp;page=1&amp;EntryID=1558098&amp;CategoryID=0&amp;g et=1&amp;lastpagesent=0&amp;Mytoken=20050323092025)

I'm M, by the way

[M2d]

Hey, he ALREADY qualified for the world series and he plays 9-18!!!

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]

when you get to play a real game of poker and not "best hand on the river"

[/ QUOTE ]

dammit. That is my problem. I was under the assumption that the river card played. That must be why I suck at poker.

/bd

[jakethebake]

o.k. who is "blade" over there? NICE AVATAR!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[James282]

My first avatar.
-James

[Mr. Zero]

[ QUOTE ]
3) Phil's books, while I downtalk them, aren't all that bad. But almost never account for small stakes games (when's the last time Phil Helmuth sat down at a 2-4 table playing for a "serious" amount of money?). Techniques that will beat players at high levels, will not always work against people who go "ehh, its only a buck". That's why Miller's book recommends playing lots of hands, but only seeing the turn if you have something.

[/ QUOTE ]

Reading comprehension is not Poker Steve's strong suit.

[mmbt0ne]

I'll take General Misunderstanding of Poker Concepts for $200 Alex.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
That's why Miller's book recommends playing lots of hands, but only seeing the turn if you have something.

[/ QUOTE ]

EDIT: You bastard Mr. Zero. Who do you think you are beating someone with 2032 posts on your 9th!!

[Mr. Zero]

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[chaas4747]

Kicks Ass.

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's my situation. I'm thinking about quitting my job and "turning pro". I'm 31 years old. I currently live with my mom, but that's only temporary because she thinks I'm not very smart and it makes her feel better to be able to do my laundry and make my lunch and other stuff that is hard for me. I have a good job at the Winn-Dixie, but I don't like it and the manager is mean to me and makes me do all the bad jobs.

Butt I started playing poker like a couple of months ago after I saw it on TV and read Phil Hellmuth's book (He rocks!). And I'm really good at it. I already made like $100 dollars playing online already.

So now I think I could go pro and quit my job. Then I could make a lot of money and move out of my mom's house. What do you guys think?

[/ QUOTE ]

OMGENIUS

Lets hope KWAZAR gives us a little nugget of truth.

/bd

[M2d]

Here's his from the loose games thread:

[ QUOTE ]
steve not (n) Wrote:
Im only 16 but im full of tips first play very tight the first couple times around to see how every one plays, try to go to a table where people are drinking. Notice small things like if they are looking at the community cards like staring they probably have nothing. Also if they play with there chips a lot after they bet there bluffing or have there hand over there mouth. If they sit up and put the chips in the pot neatly the person probably have something. Many people will tell you what there hand is with there betting styles. If you stack your chips up in a big stack when you go all in it will make it look like you have a lot of chips and make people fold.





stay in that game as long as you can - wait till you play against people like me that actually do those things on purpose to get people to do exactly as I want them to - a little knowledge helps but you can also use it to be dangerous



[/ QUOTE ]

man, I can't wait to play against players like him.

[chaas4747]

[ QUOTE ]
"Chris - keep on them - maybe they will just go away and if they dont maybe I will just delete their lying sorry asses"

Since this post quoted mine, I'm assuming that the "lying sorry asses" refers to me, but I'm not sure why. I responded to the original post with a assumption, then offered a mea culpa for jumping to conclusions without being certain of what i was writing. even if my original assumption turns out to be correct, I still think I was wrong to make an assumption about the original poster.

anyway, if you don't like my posts, there has to be a better way of telling me than attacking my integrity. I've been lurking on this forum for some time now, and decided to join up because it looked like a good place to discuss my favorite hobby. Now, it looks like a place to get attacked if I'm not one of the inner circle.

If don't have certain concepts right, why not correct me instead of attack me? I came here to learn about the game and, maybe, pass on some things that I've learned. I've done pretty well for myself and think that, perhaps, some people could benefit from what I've experienced.

I also think it's a great place for me to learn things. where else can I get to discuss ideas with someone who's already qualified for the world series of poker? that's amazing, and I don't think i'll ever get to that level, but I can keep trying.

Kwazar, i checked out some of the things that you wrote and it looks like you started at the bottom and worked your way up. why not help others rather than bash others? if you don't want to help others get to where you are, why start a forum?

I still think the original poster of this thread should be given some slack. maybe he's just a kid making up stories, but maybe he just confused a few facts. maybe his idea of "high stakes" is different than everyone elses. who's to say what a dollar means to each individual, anyway? the original poster obviously shares the love of the game that the rest of us have, so why not encourage this?
-M


[/ QUOTE ]

Nice!

[M2d]

in response to my "mea culpa"

[ QUOTE ]
well, i dunno how long you've been a member of this group, but kwaz has certainly helped us and then some. And he's reppin' us at the world series man....

this place is all about help and success. Its a place to give advice and to receive criticism if you need it. But idiots who make up fake stories...cmon, its a waste of time. Funny, but not worth any thought.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh my. the kwaz is "reppin" them (us?) at the world series. I so want to tell them that the guy "reppin" us at the last ws won the whole damned thing. but I won't. it's better this way.

[chaas4747]

Agreed. Thanks for the laughs.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
in response to my "mea culpa"

[ QUOTE ]
well, i dunno how long you've been a member of this group, but kwaz has certainly helped us and then some. And he's reppin' us at the world series man....

this place is all about help and success. Its a place to give advice and to receive criticism if you need it. But idiots who make up fake stories...cmon, its a waste of time. Funny, but not worth any thought.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh my. the kwaz is "reppin" them (us?) at the world series. I so want to tell them that the guy "reppin" us at the last ws won the whole damned thing. but I won't. it's better this way.

[/ QUOTE ]

it would be interesting to know just how many 2+2'ers will be errrr..."reppin'" us at WSOP this year.

[M2d]

you mean how many boots can we lick?

btw, i have a new avatar up on that site. i think it would make for a good identifier.

[jakethebake]

o.k. who is everybody there? it seems obvious blade, b, m, frank &amp; john. is martygentleman a 2+2er? shant? who's who?

[M2d]

M

[1337 skills]

I'm Morrissey

[M2d]

speaking of frank, has anyone clicked his profile? damn, man. who's ashley?

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
o.k. who is everybody there? it seems obvious blade, b, m, frank &amp; john. is martygentleman a 2+2er? shant? who's who?

[/ QUOTE ]

B
(seven day waiting period)

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
speaking of frank, has anyone clicked his profile? damn, man. who's ashley?

[/ QUOTE ]

she is hot, but her profile has a Britney Spears song (i think) streaming on it.

/bd

[M2d]

thank god I have the sound off on my computer at work.

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
thank god I have the sound off on my computer at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

consider yourself very very lucky.

/bd

[chaas4747]

[ QUOTE ]
You guys caught me. My "big high stakes tournament at the Bellagio" never happened. I thought I fooled you guys, but I guess not... I'm sorry I lied, I just wanted to fit in with this community, and I felt I wouldn't because all of you guys seem like seasoned professionals while I'm still new to poker and aren't as good a player as most of you. When I read all the serious posts here and the detailed advice and stuff I just got intimidated and was worried you guys wouldn't like me if I wasn't all cool and experienced and stuff, I mean Kwazar already has a seat to the friggin World Series of Poker and there was all this serious strategy discussion going on here. So sorry for making up this dumb story, I feel like an idiot, and if you guys will forgive me maybe you can help me become a better poker player and stuff, I could definately use the help since a lot of you guys seem like expert players /images/graemlins/smile.gif. Thanks, and sorry once again.


[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You guys caught me. My "big high stakes tournament at the Bellagio" never happened. I thought I fooled you guys, but I guess not... I'm sorry I lied, I just wanted to fit in with this community, and I felt I wouldn't because all of you guys seem like seasoned professionals while I'm still new to poker and aren't as good a player as most of you. When I read all the serious posts here and the detailed advice and stuff I just got intimidated and was worried you guys wouldn't like me if I wasn't all cool and experienced and stuff, I mean Kwazar already has a seat to the friggin World Series of Poker and there was all this serious strategy discussion going on here. So sorry for making up this dumb story, I feel like an idiot, and if you guys will forgive me maybe you can help me become a better poker player and stuff, I could definately use the help since a lot of you guys seem like expert players /images/graemlins/smile.gif. Thanks, and sorry once again.


[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Brilliant!

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
Brilliant!

[/ QUOTE ]
but who's going to clean up the soda I spit all over my desk when I read that. fricken classic.

[someguy2]

"Also, I really dont think online poker is a great way to go pro. I know it'll be debated, but I feel that live play "pros" are better off. Online has way too many swing-players that gamble. You're better off playing live where your "reads" on players actually profit you."

[shant]

I'm Shant.

[KaiShin]

I find it funny that all the recent topics are flooded with masquerading 2+2ers /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[1337 skills]

I think Joe is just a random spammer.

[chaas4747]

Do you think Kwaz is thinkin "man I am really cool, my forum is really taking off." LOL

[jakethebake]

Only 67% to win? Forget it! KWAZAR is my God!

[ QUOTE ]
I would rather fold Kings on the turn and lose with them than put it all in before the flop and have a 60/40 chance

dont worry I torture people with 5/6 suited and beat Kings all the time myself so I get my revenge - I just hate when someone turns over a big pair and smiles like they had something - poker is about ahving something on the end and sometimes that something is a big bluff in the right situations

I undervalue ACES before the flop - 67 % is not what I wanna bank on - that 1 out of 3 th they are no good and if you are playing no limit you can grind and grind and build a little bankroll and boom - its all gone in one [censored] hand because you got ACES and decide to get cute with them and push it all in???

[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

Apparently KWAZAR is also a financial advisor:

[ QUOTE ]
THE GAME - NO LIMIT HIGH STAKES POKER

LOCK IT UP: "WORLD POKER TOUR" IPO comes out FOR about $9. A SHARE - call sign for the stock market is

WPTE

CHECK: the IPO was issued and should come out the afternoon of 7/27/04 - this may go to $20 in the 1st few hours SINCE ONLY 4,600,000 shares will be sold - get anybody you know to invest into the hottest TV show on the Travel Channel the 1st day.

RAISE ALL IN: buy as much as you have on the table and sell 1/2 as soon as it doubles so you are free rolling with the other 1/2

THE NUTZ: GETTING IN ON THE GROUND FLOOR of something that can develop into as big as owning a piece of the PGA Tour, the employees are not allowed to sell their shares for 6 months - other people are able to sell whatever they have - so it might bounce quite a bit the 1st 2-3 days so you can either buy it and ride the bounce or try a little day playing activities and GAMBLE

CASH ME OUT- ALL HUNDREDS PLEASE: as your finacial advisor if you make a stack of cash on this you owe me dinner (or a Harley if you invest right)

Kwazar

[/ QUOTE ]

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
I would rather fold Kings on the turn and lose with them than put it all in before the flop and have a 60/40 chance

dont worry I torture people with 5/6 suited and beat Kings all the time myself so I get my revenge - I just hate when someone turns over a big pair and smiles like they had something - poker is about ahving something on the end and sometimes that something is a big bluff in the right situations

I undervalue ACES before the flop - 67 % is not what I wanna bank on - that 1 out of 3 th they are no good and if you are playing no limit you can grind and grind and build a little bankroll and boom - its all gone in one [censored] hand because you got ACES and decide to get cute with them and push it all in???

[/ QUOTE ]

perfect example of putting too many 100's on your chest and not enough in your poker bankroll.

love that KWAZAR!

/bd

[kurosh]

How long until we post a link to this thread on there? Their reactions will be priceless once they see there's so many people over here making fun of them and using their pics as avatars rofl.

[KaiShin]

Oh god not another forum war. I've been in enough of those over the years /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
How long until we post a link to this thread on there? Their reactions will be priceless once they see there's so many people over here making fun of them and using their pics as avatars rofl.

[/ QUOTE ]

would be funny ... but also would be major tapping of the glass.

[jakethebake]

Interestingly there are quite a few mentions of 2+2 there. For example...

[ QUOTE ]
There's a competition on two-plus-two 's website under Homepoker.

[/ QUOTE ]

[KaiShin]

Plus it would deprive us of all the free entertainment we're getting /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[JinX11]

[ QUOTE ]
I find it funny that all the recent topics are flooded with masquerading 2+2ers /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I think we're all just displacing our anger from the FTR spat a few months ago.

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
I used to wear (sunglasses) when I started playing because I thought it was cool and necessary. But honestly, it doesn't really help me. I've actually misread the suits of my cards a couple times because of them.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL

[someguy2]

"I agree i have only read Hellmuth's book and Harrignton on Hold'Em . Phil's is the oen that u really need its straight to the point. none of this math bs that sklansky teaches. i only reccomend the top 10 hands for brand new players, for more advanced players i recommend the top 15 hands u save urself from making tough decisions"

Wow.

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
"I agree i have only read Hellmuth's book and Harrignton on Hold'Em . Phil's is the oen that u really need its straight to the point. none of this math bs that sklansky teaches. i only reccomend the top 10 hands for brand new players, for more advanced players i recommend the top 15 hands u save urself from making tough decisions"


[/ QUOTE ]

and if you are really ballsy, go for the gusto: the top 17 hands!

[mmbt0ne]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse à:</font><hr />
I find it funny that all the recent topics are flooded with masquerading 2+2ers /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I think we're all just displacing our anger from the FTR spat a few months ago.

[/ QUOTE ]

You don't know how many angry rants I read in the chatbox when I was clearing my MultiPoker bonuses. Apparently those guys don't take kindly to the name FTRBlows.

[Roland]

I like MartyGentleman's (aka TheJunkyardGod?)"nickname for oneline poker": [ QUOTE ]
PWn3d


[/ QUOTE ] /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[manik]

(Hopefully this isn't a repeat) I don't really have very good "e-reads" but the OP here (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1581147&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=1000152 46&amp;Mytoken=20050324015939) makes me feel a bit ill. Normally I don't mind taking people's money, but man, this guy seriously sounds retarded. I should probably read Hellmuth's book to help me get over the guilt.

[Roland]

[ QUOTE ]
(Hopefully this isn't a repeat) I don't really have very good "e-reads" but the OP here (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=messageboard.viewThread&amp;entry ID=1581147&amp;categoryID=0&amp;IsSticky=0&amp;groupID=1000152 46&amp;Mytoken=20050324015939) makes me feel a bit ill. Normally I don't mind taking people's money, but man, this guy seriously sounds retarded. I should probably read Hellmuth's book to help me get over the guilt.

[/ QUOTE ]

That must be 2+2

[bd8802]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't really have very good "e-reads"

[/ QUOTE ]

he is a 2+2'er.

But you get a bonus point for usage of "e-read".

[manik]

Oh thank god. I was hoping there was something fishy going on with him, but you really can't put anything past these people.

[Roland]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't really have very good "e-reads"

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey, it's tough to read "e" when he's wearing his sunglasses

[masse75]

[ QUOTE ]
Only 67% to win? Forget it! KWAZAR is my God!

[ QUOTE ]
I would rather fold Kings on the turn and lose with them than put it all in before the flop and have a 60/40 chance

dont worry I torture people with 5/6 suited and beat Kings all the time myself so I get my revenge - I just hate when someone turns over a big pair and smiles like they had something - poker is about ahving something on the end and sometimes that something is a big bluff in the right situations

I undervalue ACES before the flop - 67 % is not what I wanna bank on - that 1 out of 3 th they are no good and if you are playing no limit you can grind and grind and build a little bankroll and boom - its all gone in one [censored] hand because you got ACES and decide to get cute with them and push it all in???

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]


I actually find this valid. Kwazar does seem like the type of person who can lose money with 60% pot equity.

I'd like to start calling him Midas. Except instead of the golden touch, everything he touches turns to [censored].

[masse75]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"I agree i have only read Hellmuth's book and Harrignton on Hold'Em . Phil's is the oen that u really need its straight to the point. none of this math bs that sklansky teaches. i only reccomend the top 10 hands for brand new players, for more advanced players i recommend the top 15 hands u save urself from making tough decisions"


[/ QUOTE ]

and if you are really ballsy, go for the gusto: the top 17 hands!

[/ QUOTE ]

Whoa, slow down, bucko...17 is a lot to remember. Don't make the fishies swim any faster than they have to.

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
frank, i go to SD a lot. you wanna play heads up? i could use a a good pay off. LOL!


[/ QUOTE ]
go get him, frank.

[Bukwurm]

Omigod! He was sitting with me at a tournament table on Poker Stars the other evening. I'd recognize that sterling wit and overwhelming masculine charm in a heartbeat, no matter HOW much he tries to hide it.... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[jimymat]

some of their posts are so horrible you would think they were fake.

[BradL]

All of these posts are jokes right? I read that too and it just had to be a joke... right?

-Brad

[BradL]

[ QUOTE ]


Here we see our young champion from when he was in 8th grade sporting his "Toys 'R' Us" polo tee, and he'll be damned if he's forced to grow up. In the background we catch his brother Haws in the middle of auditioning for the lead in Gay Jizz Fiesta XXVII.

[/ QUOTE ]

R O F L

[zimmer879]

[ QUOTE ]
I easily make more on the borgata 2-4/3-6 tables than I do at my day job (shop rite)

Going pro is hard, but it's not impossible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Awesome

[Ryner]

Sadly, the enjoyment of reading that forum has been ruined now that there are some fake topics popping up.

[mgsimpleton]

i agree... seriously i think we should stick to fake responses rather than fake threads unless you have something that's just hilarious... i really think it's more hilarious when most of the posts are real. that's just me... of course it's easy to say when i still have 5 days left ::sigh::

[1337 skills]

link (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&amp;Number=1973456&amp;page=0&amp;view=c ollapsed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=14)

[BillNye]

never let this thread die...

[kurosh]

I started reading this and thought to myself, "Oh, it's another 2+2er making fun of them." Then I realized, nope, it's real. He's referring to when he will play at the main event of the WSOP.

[ QUOTE ]
I can only go by last years numbers but yes I know they are "expecting" a bigger turnout than last year - it still means I have a great shot cuz there are sooooo many newbies that dont have 10% of the experience I have that if I play my game and win one pot an hour I will make it at least to the final 100 - hell I might not play one hand the 1st day - there is no reason to unless I get a monster

[/ QUOTE ]

[siccjay]

OMFG BAAAAAAHAHAHAHA



(because attractive women only bang professional poker players like me)

[junkmail3]

Whoever Jason is has a poor grasp on keeping jokes alive.

Posting links to origins of many of the 2+2 posts on that board is a quick way to get everyone there outed.

The phil helmuth joke site has about 10 jokes that have been posted by 2+2ers there. Now all of the lines have found their origin and everyone will know all of the 'advice' is just a joke.

Bad move.

[M2d]

another group (http://groups.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=groups.groupProfile&amp;groupid=1 00228915&amp;Mytoken=20050324075417)

hell yes, i joined it

[shadow29]

Only 5 more days until I join this shindig.

[Shajen]

I can't be the only one out here that thinks this whole thing is silly can I?