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View Full Version : Jerkin it in the dorms... then someone knocks.


TBag
03-20-2005, 08:13 AM
If you're about to go to town, and someone is at the door, don't answer it. Oh man, I don't even know what I was thinking. If you actually open the door, you can't play that [censored] off. They already know.

Scene-
I just finished with a tedious study session for my upcoming finals. My roommate already headed home because he's done with finals, so I've got the room to myself for the rest of the week. I must take advantage of this situation, as it is a rare one. I can hear "carpe diem" echoing in my head. So I'm browsing the collection to see what looks nice tonight, but it's still just pre-game warm up. Then I hear the doorknob jiggle (it's locked, obviously) and then the knocking.

Pretending I'm somewhere else is the obvious course of action, but not the course I took. We haven't gone to phase two yet, so after some hesitation, I figure I might as well see who it is. I close all the windows I have up on the ole comp and open the door to see two of my buddies are already walking away from the door. You can hear the deadbolt slam oh the inside of the door as I turn the door handle.

Me: "Hey... what's up?"
Them: "Nothin... what were you doing?"
Me: "Uhhhh... errr... studying?"
Them: "With the door locked huh?"
Me: "... yes..."
Them: "What took you so long to answer the door?"
Me: "..."
Them: "........."
Me: "My phone is ringing."

End scene.

After taking a -500 downswing, this was the most -EV move of the night. [censored] do I feel dirty.

I'm sorry, Alizee, our rendezvous has been put on hold.

I don't recall any embarrassing masturbation threads, so I guess this could the first =P. POST ON

masse75
03-20-2005, 01:03 PM
Um, Post Off.

bcunha
03-20-2005, 01:16 PM
Oh man do I love sharing masturbation stories!

WTF?!

stanky
03-20-2005, 01:16 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Me: "Hey... what's up?"
Them: "Nothin... what were you doing?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Me: Jerkin off!

Them:LOL
Me:LOL

END SCENE(back to jerkin off)

Thats how I would of played it, if I answered the door in the first place.

-Pete

radek2166
03-20-2005, 01:26 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Me: "Hey... what's up?"
Them: "Nothin... what were you doing?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Me: Jerkin off!

Them:LOL
Me:LOL

END SCENE(back to jerkin off)

Thats how I would of played it, if I answered the door in the first place.

-Pete

[/ QUOTE ]

At my age now some one Knocks on the door while I am pulling one off I answer it as am.

codewarrior
03-20-2005, 01:26 PM
n00b.

You answer the door with your junk in your hand.

Or put down the porn and play in the NA v Euro game today.

ttleistdci
03-20-2005, 01:27 PM
ummm yeah...
so how bout that NCAA tournament?

astroglide
03-20-2005, 01:31 PM
i cannot imagine being able to jerk to non-nude alizee pics. or even nude ones. and i'm a fan. how can somebody in college not be this jaded?

gamblore99
03-20-2005, 03:08 PM
last year I had to send my roomates on walks. If I don't have a clear mind, I can't focus.

beerbandit
03-20-2005, 07:03 PM
put a sign on the door

---10min rule---

it works, even if you have a roommate


cheers

slickpoppa
03-20-2005, 07:21 PM
when they knock, tell them that you are napping

PokerGoblin
03-20-2005, 08:13 PM
**ring ring**

Me: Hello?

Corky (my boss): Hey Goblin it's Corky. What are you up to? Are you enjoying your day off?

Me: Yea I was just crankin' one out.

Corky: Oh ok sorry to interrupt.

Me: Thats ok I can rewind the tape.

Corky: **laughs** ok well I was wondering if you could come into work?

Me: Yea when I'm done.

Corky: OK thanks Goblin see ya later.

Me: Later
------------------------------------------------------------

This actual conversation took place about a month ago. He hasn't called me into work on my day off since. He doesn't actually call me 'Goblin' though.

PG

Wayfare
03-20-2005, 08:19 PM
Just say "I was beating it. You do it too."

That's better than bullshit because you don't look or feel embarassed.

peachy
03-20-2005, 08:33 PM
uumm did it not occur to u to say sleeping???

mason55
03-20-2005, 10:48 PM
[ QUOTE ]
uumm did it not occur to u to say sleeping???

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf everyone beats off it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

i mean, do you go [censored] in the woods so none of the other dorm people know that you release excrement?

jerking off is as natural as taking a dump.