funny experience i had just now

[nothumb]

I am playing a few SNGs, chilling, reading 2+2. My young kitten is sitting on my lap and falls asleep. Ms. Thumb has been bugging me to get this little dude neutered cause he sprayed my dresser the other day and we are not thrilled with that.

So I'm sort of absentmindedly petting him and he rolls over on his back. All of a sudden I look down and kind of jump because it looks like some little parasite is worming its way out of his balls. It's sort of conical and pink with a very red tip. My kitten is kind of rumbling in his dozing state.

So that's the first time I ever saw a cat's penis. Does this count as bestiality?

NT

[istewart]

This post just got more and more unreadable, christ. Thanks NT. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[nothumb]

Unreadable? Compared to the writing of most of you OOTiots this reads like Hemingway.

I'm still wondering if I broke the law though... also since he is a kitten could that be pedohilic bestiality??? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

NT

[istewart]

[ QUOTE ]
All of a sudden I look down and kind of jump because it looks like some little parasite is worming its way out of his balls.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was eating at the time /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[Ianco15]

I just threw up after reading this.

[nothumb]

Haha. Readers of my posts = pwned.

NT

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
bestiality?

[/ QUOTE ]

No.

Gay cat?

Yes.

[wacki]

NT, what is wrong with you? Is this a serious question?

I don't get this post. Ok, we know you're freaked out, but you are smart enough to figure out the answer.

[nothumb]

Getting wood in your sleep makes you gay? If so call me Robert Maplethorpe.

NT

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
Getting wood in your sleep makes you gay? If so call me Robert Maplethorpe.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

The day I wake up in the arms of another male and have a boner is certainly the day you could call me gay.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
NT, what is wrong with you?

[/ QUOTE ]

Let me know if you figure it out.

[ QUOTE ]
Is this a serious question?


[/ QUOTE ]

Let's hope not.

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, we know you're freaked out,

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually found it a little bit funny. It's hard to rattle me at this point.

NT

[LethalRose]

Thats one [censored] up sexual experience.


I guess now, its the cats turn to do you?


ps. can i say [censored] here?

edit* apparently not.

somewhat ironic you cant say the f word on a gambling website..s'all good though, i guess it makes it more readible at work (shame on you!)

[NotInchoateHand1]

Pet the pussy, not the kitty. I'm sorry this hasn't been said yet. My kitty loves me when she's hungry, my (possessor of) pussy loves me when she's drunk. It all works out.

Feel flattered, this is probably my last post ever on 2+2 for at least 13 hours. Wacki should drink more, his response blows big kitty cock.

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
Pet the pussy, not the kitty. I'm sorry this hasn't been said yet. My kitty loves me when she's hungry, my (possessor of) pussy loves me when she's drunk. It all works out.

Feel flattered, this is probably my last post ever on 2+2 for at least 13 hours. Wacki should drink more, his response blows big kitty cock.

[/ QUOTE ]


drinking lowers estrogen levels in women. Thats why they get horny when drunk..

just an FYI.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
Thats one [censored] up sexual experience.


[/ QUOTE ]

For me or the cat?

I did not count this as a sexual experience for myself BTW. The whole bestiality thing was a JOKE. That's why I put FUNNY in the title of my post.

I guess funny to me isn't actually funny to most. Ok.

NT

[nothumb]

Is that a vibrator going into your mouth? Inquiring minds want to know.

NT

[NotInchoateHand1]

No it isn't. It is a...yeah, disgusting thing. I have no recollection of the photo. Amnesiacs are a curse, but one I partake of all too frequently.

Short answer:

If some of your geckos (food for your ahaetulla prasinas) escape, and then you get very [censored] up on some "interesting" pharamceuticals in conjunction with your daily alcohol intake, and you "find" ones of these escaped geckos, but it darts beneath a cupboard (or so it was related to you) and your flashlight is out of batteries, so you ask your visiting friend if she has batteries and instead she gives you a big honking vibrator/dildo combo (with batteries!) and you decide to mug it up, before extracting the batteries, you will probably regret it. The real InchoateHand would never post such a self-incriminating photo, but the real InchoateHand is banned, so we are left with his self-effacing (more obnoxious too!) horribly drunk alter ego.

Yeah, its a vibrator. Damn that [censored] tasted good.

[LethalRose]

A purple and white dildo? havent seen many of those...

Dildos's are horrible...they stink and they have germs galore on them, its an unclean thing to have. A woman having one and letting me know about it is -EV in my mind, plus most women say fingers feel better anyway.

[nothumb]

Wow, I actually didn't expect it to be a vibrator, but it was. Funny.

NT

[NotInchoateHand1]

Like hands, dildos can be washed. Your hands are dirtier than most dildos, I promise you.

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, I actually didn't expect it to be a vibrator, but it was. Funny.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

it is a dildo, you can clearly see the clit tickler. Im just amazed about the color.

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
Like hands, dildos can be washed. Your hands are dirtier than most dildos, I promise you.

[/ QUOTE ]

unless you throw it in the dishwasher you wont kill all the germs by simply washing it. and putting it in the dishwasher damages most dildos.

[nothumb]

There's a difference between a vibrator and a dildo. And chicks who have vibrators are +EV. If they tell you fingers feel better than a vibrator that bitch is LYING and you're a sucker.

NT

[NotInchoateHand1]

[ QUOTE ]
There's a difference between a vibrator and a dildo. And chicks who have vibrators are +EV. If they tell you fingers feel better than a vibrator that bitch is LYING and you're a sucker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I can tell the dude we are responding to is Midwestern/young.

[nothumb]

You're dumb. Vibrators have batteries. Dildos don't.

WTF are you even talking about? Seriously this is a thread about cat penis and you're giving a health lecture (that's not even accurate).

NT

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
There's a difference between a vibrator and a dildo. And chicks who have vibrators are +EV. If they tell you fingers feel better than a vibrator that bitch is LYING and you're a sucker.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

vibrators are fine, im talking about dildos.

vibrators have their faults, using it too much can desensitize her and make it almost impossible to orgasm during sex.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Washing your hands doesn't kill many "germs." Jesus christ, there are [censored] bacteria that live happily in bleach. Your hands are still dirtier. Get over it. Dildos (with the clit stimulator) are wonderful things. Sure, they shouldn't enter just anyone's mouth, but they are, on balance, wonderful.

Straight vibrators are even cooler. They should be used in 1/5 of sexual encounters, minimally. Especially if you are as lazy as me.

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
You're dumb. Vibrators have batteries. Dildos don't.

WTF are you even talking about? Seriously this is a thread about cat penis and you're giving a health lecture (that's not even accurate).

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

my bad, didnt see he said it was a vibrator.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Common misperception. The amount you would have to overuse, plus the pressure you would have to apply, is astronomical. Sure, it could happen, but not [censored] likely. Don't worry about it.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
vibrators are fine, im talking about dildos.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, so a vibrator, which pretty much goes in the same holes as a dildo, is cool, but dildos are not because they're dirty and stink? Dude did you get all of your sex ed from a Bible study group?

NT

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
Common misperception. The amount you would have to overuse, plus the pressure you would have to apply, is astronomical. Sure, it could happen, but not [censored] likely. Don't worry about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

im not, like I care if the girl orgasms..

*warning* This is TMI

I only speak from experience where I dated a girl who could not orgasm no matter how much sex we had, if she pulled out her little vibrator or i fingered her it would take like 3 mins, this pissed me off a lot. She claimed back in HS she could easily, she then was with a guy for a long time (a year) who wouldnt have sex with her for religious reasons (poor dude), so she got a vibrator. After a while she was used to the sensation of the vib with her legs closed. so apparently she could only orgasm with her legs closed and lots of stimulation.. I forbid her for using the vibrator while we were together, but she was like most women and needed sex everyday, so she had to use it sometimes.

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
vibrators are fine, im talking about dildos.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wait, so a vibrator, which pretty much goes in the same holes as a dildo, is cool, but dildos are not because they're dirty and stink? Dude did you get all of your sex ed from a Bible study group?

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

no..I would just prefer a girl own a vibrator over a dildo. Whats so difficult about that? Maybe the dildo's you've encounter with your GF's have all been ok, but i dont like them.

[NotInchoateHand1]

Wow, anecdotal evidence from high school. Nevermind, screw all those physiology lessons, screw those years of experience, I'm convinced!

[LethalRose]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, anecdotal evidence from high school. Nevermind, screw all those physiology lessons, screw those years of experience, I'm convinced!

[/ QUOTE ]

I never said i was trying to convince anyone, simply speaking from my own personal experiences.

[/thread]

[jstnrgrs]

You Suck!

[Zeno]

Here is something for all of you to ponder over, note that you need to read all of this link - it is very informative: Collection of Bull Semen (http://nongae.gsnu.ac.kr/~cspark/teaching/chap14.html)


Now perhaps you can get a job from this man: Mr. Fry (http://www.bovineengineering.com/seemen.htm)

Enjoy.

Le Misanthrope

[willie]

2 things

1. No it didn't turn to besitality until you started treatin the lil cone like a mini lollipop to help the kitten out.

2. Cats spraying- there was this clip on AFV *i'm a sucker for the stupid humor of people injuring themselves on film*, there was a clip from a family at a zoo, who got up close to the fency to check out a tiger. He promptly turned around and sprayed a fine stinky mist cloud out on them. HIIIIIIGHHH larious!

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Unreadable? Compared to the writing of most of you OOTiots this reads like Hemingway.

I'm still wondering if I broke the law though... also since he is a kitten could that be pedohilic bestiality??? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

gay pedophilic beastiality

[jimdmcevoy]

Dude similar experience here:

Me and my bro in law were sitting in front of the computer, he was sweating my online play, and I had one of his cats laying on his back in my lap.

I was lookin at the screen, and then my bro in law just bursts out laughing and then tries as hard as he can to stop laughing so he can say "DUDE look at that, it's the cat's PENIS!!"

then I started laughing, dunno why

it looked pretty weird