Dynasty
03-17-2005, 04:15 PM
I came across this and thought it was funny.
[ QUOTE ]
MACE: What does Master Yoda look like?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: What planet you from?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: "Whatsa" ain't no planet I ever heard of! They speak Bocchi on Whatsa?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: BOCCHI, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
JAR JAR: Yes!
MACE: Then you know what I'm saying!
JAR JAR: Yes!
MACE: Describe what Master Yoda looks like!
JAR JAR: Whatsa, I-?
MACE: [pointing his blaster] Say "whatsa" again. SAY "WHATSA" AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say "whatsa" one more goddamn time.
JAR JAR: He's-a g-g-green...
MACE: Go on.
JAR JAR: He's-a bald...
MACE: Does he look like a bitch?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
[Mace shoots Jar Jar in shoulder]
MACE: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
JAR JAR: No!
MACE: Then why you try to [censored] him like a bitch, Jar Jar?
JAR JAR: Me no-sa [censored] Masta Yoda.
MACE: Yes you did. Yes you did, Jar Jar. You tried to [censored] him. And Master Yoda don't like to be [censored] by anybody, except Mrs. Yoda. There's this passage from the bible I got memorized... Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. "
BLAST BLAST BLAST BLAST BLAST!!!!!*
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Obi-Wan looks at Baby Luke Skywalker and holds up Anakin's old lightsaber...
OBI-WAN: The way your dad looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the clones were gonna get their greasy white hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he turned to the Dark Side, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, The Emperor exiled all the Jedi. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anakin and Jango take Padme with them in their speeder and Jango's blaster goes off and blows Padme's head of
JANGO: Whoa!
ANAKIN: What the [censored]'s happening, man? Ah, [censored] man!
JANGO: Oh man, I shot Padme in the face.
ANAKIN: Why the [censored] did you do that!
JANGO: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
ANAKIN: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass [censored] in my time...
JANGO: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably hit a meteor or something.
ANAKIN: Hey, the speeder didn't hit no motherfucking meteor.
JANGO: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the bitch. The blaster went off. I don't know why.
ANAKIN: Well look at this [censored] mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!
JANGO: I don't believe it.
ANAKIN: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this speeder off the road! You know the Jedi tend to notice [censored] like you're driving a car drenched in [censored] blood.
JANGO: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.
ANAKIN: This in Tatooine, Jango. Palpatine ain't got no friendly places in the Tatooine.
JANGO: Well Anakin this ain't my [censored] town, man!
ANAKIN: [censored]!
[Jules dials a number on his cell phone]
JANGO: What you doin'?
ANAKIN: I'm calling my partner in Mos Eisley.
JANGO: Where's Mos Eisley?
ANAKIN: It's just over the hill here over by Beggar’s Canyon. If Watto's ass ain't home, I don't know what the [censored] we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8. Hey Watto, yo, how you doin', man? It's Annie. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious [censored] [censored]. We're in a speeder and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
MACE: What does Master Yoda look like?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: What planet you from?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: "Whatsa" ain't no planet I ever heard of! They speak Bocchi on Whatsa?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
MACE: BOCCHI, MOTHERFUCKER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT?
JAR JAR: Yes!
MACE: Then you know what I'm saying!
JAR JAR: Yes!
MACE: Describe what Master Yoda looks like!
JAR JAR: Whatsa, I-?
MACE: [pointing his blaster] Say "whatsa" again. SAY "WHATSA" AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say "whatsa" one more goddamn time.
JAR JAR: He's-a g-g-green...
MACE: Go on.
JAR JAR: He's-a bald...
MACE: Does he look like a bitch?
JAR JAR: Whatsa?
[Mace shoots Jar Jar in shoulder]
MACE: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
JAR JAR: No!
MACE: Then why you try to [censored] him like a bitch, Jar Jar?
JAR JAR: Me no-sa [censored] Masta Yoda.
MACE: Yes you did. Yes you did, Jar Jar. You tried to [censored] him. And Master Yoda don't like to be [censored] by anybody, except Mrs. Yoda. There's this passage from the bible I got memorized... Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. "
BLAST BLAST BLAST BLAST BLAST!!!!!*
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Obi-Wan looks at Baby Luke Skywalker and holds up Anakin's old lightsaber...
OBI-WAN: The way your dad looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any of the clones were gonna get their greasy white hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he turned to the Dark Side, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, The Emperor exiled all the Jedi. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.
[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anakin and Jango take Padme with them in their speeder and Jango's blaster goes off and blows Padme's head of
JANGO: Whoa!
ANAKIN: What the [censored]'s happening, man? Ah, [censored] man!
JANGO: Oh man, I shot Padme in the face.
ANAKIN: Why the [censored] did you do that!
JANGO: Well, I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident!
ANAKIN: Oh man I've seen some crazy ass [censored] in my time...
JANGO: Chill out, man. I told you it was an accident. You probably hit a meteor or something.
ANAKIN: Hey, the speeder didn't hit no motherfucking meteor.
JANGO: Hey, look man, I didn't mean to shoot the bitch. The blaster went off. I don't know why.
ANAKIN: Well look at this [censored] mess, man. We're on a city street in broad daylight here!
JANGO: I don't believe it.
ANAKIN: Well believe it now, motherfucker! We gotta get this speeder off the road! You know the Jedi tend to notice [censored] like you're driving a car drenched in [censored] blood.
JANGO: Just take it to a friendly place, that's all.
ANAKIN: This in Tatooine, Jango. Palpatine ain't got no friendly places in the Tatooine.
JANGO: Well Anakin this ain't my [censored] town, man!
ANAKIN: [censored]!
[Jules dials a number on his cell phone]
JANGO: What you doin'?
ANAKIN: I'm calling my partner in Mos Eisley.
JANGO: Where's Mos Eisley?
ANAKIN: It's just over the hill here over by Beggar’s Canyon. If Watto's ass ain't home, I don't know what the [censored] we're going to do, man. 'Cause I ain't got no other partners in 8-1-8. Hey Watto, yo, how you doin', man? It's Annie. Listen up man. Me and my homeboy are in serious [censored] [censored]. We're in a speeder and we gotta get off the road, pronto. I need to use your garage for a couple of hours.
[/ QUOTE ]