View Full Version : Here's your chance (Share your life knowledge)
Stuey
03-13-2005, 01:29 AM
People always say stuff like.
"If I only knew then what I know now." or
"Learn from the mistakes of others."
So let me hear it. Serious, stupid, funny or all of the above. Here's mine.
Never wrestle with a pig; you both get dirty and only the pig enjoys it!
pshreck
03-13-2005, 01:30 AM
Never have sex with a pig, you both get dirty and the pig doesn't enjoy it.
Thythe
03-13-2005, 01:35 AM
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
blendedsuit
03-13-2005, 01:37 AM
Life sucks, then you die.
BradleyT
03-13-2005, 02:28 AM
Start saving in a roth IRA as soon as you have earned income.
mason55
03-13-2005, 02:29 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Start saving in a roth IRA as soon as you have earned income.
[/ QUOTE ]
Max out your 401(k) first.
Ryner
03-13-2005, 02:42 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Start saving in a roth IRA as soon as you have earned income.
[/ QUOTE ]
Max out your 401(k) first.
[/ QUOTE ]
Do both. Take a couple hundred from your tax return (if you get one), and stick it in a IRA each year.
mason55
03-13-2005, 02:47 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Start saving in a roth IRA as soon as you have earned income.
[/ QUOTE ]
Max out your 401(k) first.
[/ QUOTE ]
Do both. Take a couple hundred from your tax return (if you get one), and stick it in a IRA each year.
[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly. All I meant was use your pre tax dollars to max out your 401(k) cause it's easiest.
mike l.
03-13-2005, 02:49 AM
you guys are so wrong. blow every last cent playing limit hold em as high you possibly can. that's where all my earned income goes.
mason55
03-13-2005, 02:50 AM
[ QUOTE ]
you guys are so wrong. blow every last cent playing limit hold em as high you possibly can. that's where all my earned income goes.
[/ QUOTE ]
Do what that british guy did, put EVERYTHING on red.
youtalkfunny
03-13-2005, 05:11 AM
Even if you hate school, go to college.
Join the military. You'll grow up, get in shape, and you'll get to see the world. If you don't like it, don't re-up. And remember: in the navy, you always get hot meals and a bed.
Even if you can't get laid, don't rush to marry the first girl you bed.
Two tips for raising your kids: smother them with attention, and keep them busy.
Pick a job you love doing, and you'll never work a day in your life.
youtalkfunny
03-13-2005, 05:19 AM
Marry a girl who can cook.
mason55
03-13-2005, 05:20 AM
Don't confuse assets and liabilites, no matter what anyone tells you.
eric5148
03-13-2005, 05:22 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Even if you hate school, go to college.
[/ QUOTE ]
I couldn't disagree with you more. I hate school and I'm so damn glad I never went to college. I wouldn't even have gone to high school if my parents hadn't forced me. Flame away.
judgesmails
03-13-2005, 05:43 AM
Nothing you do really matters at all.
Ryner
03-13-2005, 05:48 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Do what that british guy did, put EVERYTHING on red.
[/ QUOTE ]
No! That guy won, that means statistically the next person to do it will lose!
mason55
03-13-2005, 05:48 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Nothing you do really matters at all.
[/ QUOTE ]
Hell is other people
-Jean Paul Sartre
Michael Davis
03-13-2005, 05:50 AM
I like you. Not in the Ginsberg sort of way.
-Michael
theBruiser500
03-13-2005, 05:53 AM
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire.
James282
03-13-2005, 05:54 AM
Don't tug on Superman's cape, don't spit into the wind, don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.
-James
fimbulwinter
03-13-2005, 06:25 AM
To live you must be willing to die.
fim
[ QUOTE ]
Marry a girl who can cook.
[/ QUOTE ]
and give good [censored]
tell that girl you're in love with how you really feel. You see her every f#cking day and she smiles at you. I know it's easier said than done.. but JUST don't be a pussy. Seriously! You'll thank me later.
jason_t
03-13-2005, 06:59 AM
Don't drop the soap.
[ QUOTE ]
Don't drop the soap.
[/ QUOTE ]
that must've been a hard.. hard .. I repeat, HARD lesson to learn.
housenuts
03-13-2005, 07:32 AM
don't waste the good years of your life posting on an internet forum
[ QUOTE ]
don't waste the good years of your life posting on an internet forum
[/ QUOTE ]
incredibly nh
theBruiser500
03-13-2005, 07:43 AM
okay mr. 1100+ posts
gavrilo
03-13-2005, 07:45 AM
"A witty saying proves nothing"
[ QUOTE ]
"A witty saying proves nothing"
[/ QUOTE ]
wow. On the 27th level of thinking, I'm going to say that was pretty witty.
disclaimer: I'm still buzzed
whiskeytown
03-13-2005, 10:10 AM
never date a psychology major.
If you're a guy, Never, NEVER, NEVER ever be the first one to say "I Love You" the first time. Because if you do, that means you love them more then they love you, and that will make them uncomfortable - therefore causing the tension that will cause the breakup. - My friend Brooks tried to tell me, but I didn't listen -
RB
Myrtle
03-13-2005, 11:23 AM
.......never break you own fart bubble with your nose in a hot tub.
/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Mars357
03-13-2005, 11:41 AM
Read a few verses in Proverbs everyday. It's filled with good advice and wisdom....
mason55
03-13-2005, 12:31 PM
No matter how much you think your high school girlfriend is your soul mate, break up with her when you go to college.
mmbt0ne
03-13-2005, 01:00 PM
</font><blockquote><font class="small">En réponse ŕ:</font><hr />
No matter how much you think your high school girlfriend is your soul mate, break up with her when you go to college.
[/ QUOTE ]
You obviously haven't seen Can't Hardle Wait recently. Ethan Embry will swoop in and get her, and then you'll waste your life away at a car wash until you get fired when some incriminating pictures show up.
InchoateHand
03-13-2005, 01:03 PM
Never do the psych major, but of even higher prominence, never, ever, get involved with anyone remotely connected to theater. Sure, psych majors are all psych cases trying to figure themselves out, but theater dorks are 100% drama queens, and I take psychotic over that in a heartbeat.
Don't fart while getting head, its just rude.
Don't speed test your girlfriend's car while shitfaced---stupid idea on a couple of different levels.
As much fun as it sounds, don't get heavy into crack.
Macdaddy Warsaw
03-13-2005, 02:37 PM
As a psych major, I'd just like to refute that we're all cases trying to figure ourselves out. I'm not. Then again, I'm the most half-assed psych major ever... Sample size sufficient?
InchoateHand
03-13-2005, 02:39 PM
Yeah, the most balanced person I know, currently doing case management and moonlighting as my girlfriend was a psych/human services major. But she is also reading over my shoulder, so take that for what its worth. As a general rule though...
Zoltri
03-13-2005, 02:44 PM
Stay out of Federal Ass Pounding Prison!!!
sublime
03-13-2005, 02:59 PM
dont say something about somebody that you wouldnt say to thier face. also mind your own business.
if i follow these two rules, my life seems to go pretty damn smoothly. unfortunatly, i dont always, and as a result it doesmt /images/graemlins/smile.gif
sublime
03-13-2005, 03:01 PM
oh yeah
no means yes
ricochet420
03-13-2005, 05:56 PM
Is bás é bheith beo
[ QUOTE ]
To live you must be willing to die.
fim
[/ QUOTE ]
ricochet420
03-13-2005, 05:58 PM
Don't eat the yellow snow!
deacsoft
03-13-2005, 06:32 PM
Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.
CCass
03-13-2005, 06:36 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Don't tug on Superman's cape, don't spit into the wind, don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.
-James
[/ QUOTE ]
And don't mess around with Jim.
Stuey
03-13-2005, 08:40 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Stay out of Federal Ass Pounding Prison!!!
[/ QUOTE ]
dis seems to be the most important advice thus far.
I see no reason to refuse any female looking for action. I'm sure we will all be in our death beds wishing we had taken more on. Plus it is the easiest thing to get in life as there are always those more desperate than yourself. Just get over yourself and lower your standards you find out its all good. And you might run into a nice person along the way.
OtisTheMarsupial
03-13-2005, 09:02 PM
Aim to regret the things you do rather than the ones you don't. Live boldly.
GrunchCan
03-13-2005, 09:05 PM
The people you work with are not your friends.
Don't speak unless spoken to. (When a friend or realtive is talking about personal matters)
Life is pain. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.
Good Idea
03-13-2005, 10:07 PM
Here's two...
1) Make sure that your spouse and children know that they matter to you.
2) Don't smoke dope when your high. You don't get no higher, just lower on dope. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif
StevieG
03-13-2005, 10:31 PM
Don't send anything through email that you wouldn't want to see printed in the NY Times (http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/chung.htm)
bosoxfan
03-13-2005, 11:32 PM
Tell smart girls they're pretty and pretty girls they're smart.
learn to cook for yourself and marry a girl who's good in bed
Stuey
03-13-2005, 11:41 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Tell smart girls they're pretty and pretty girls they're smart.
[/ QUOTE ]
Simple and true. Several times I have done this and it was a total lie. Worked everytime people want what they don't have.
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