If your fiance wouldn't take your last name, would you dump her? [Archive]

RocketManJames

03-09-2005, 07:43 PM

In this day and age, many women have made a name for themselves in whatever professional field they're in. Why would you expect they'd give it up so easily?

I'd be surprised if many of the highly ranked female executives in the world would ever change their name for marriage's sake.

-RMJ

Bluffoon

03-09-2005, 07:44 PM

Who cares.

On the other hand, my ex-wife still uses my last name and THAT bugs me.

astroglide

03-09-2005, 07:44 PM

i honestly can't comprehend how stupid a person must be if they're committing the rest of their life to somebody and would not just halt the wedding but end the relationship over something this retarded

Soul Daddy

03-09-2005, 07:45 PM

If you even consider this an obstacle, you're not as deep in love as you think.

Joe Tall

03-09-2005, 07:45 PM

My last name blows. I'm taking her last name.

astroglide

03-09-2005, 07:45 PM

yeah like those crazy feminazis who are the only person left to carry their last name so they want to do it. that is some seriously leftist/socialist agenda work!

turnipmonster

03-09-2005, 07:46 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i honestly can't comprehend how stupid a person must be if they're committing the rest of their life to somebody and would not just halt the wedding but end the relationship over something this retarded

[/ QUOTE ]

daveymck

03-09-2005, 07:46 PM

A few weeks ago during sex I askes my girl to marry me (yes last of the romantics but been living together 7 years and many years ago I said I would never marry her due to issues about her being divorced, she want sus to for definate) she said no, mainly cos we had a few things going on and she thought I was feeling sorry for her.

So should I dump her for the rejection?, she would take on my name if that helps.

If names are all thats important to you then yes you should dump her.

JaBlue

03-09-2005, 07:47 PM

I can't believe that some people would dump their fiancee over this. That's ridiculous.

bholdr

03-09-2005, 07:48 PM

anyone i'm willing to marry is not going to be obstinate enough to insist on this, and neither am I. I'd be perfectly happy having kids with twu last names.

It is important to me (due to my desire to perpetuate the historic continuity of my family line) that any son i may have has my last name, however. maybe that makes me a bit of a chauvanist. oh well.

stabn

03-09-2005, 07:48 PM

No, but i would if she wanted a hyphenated name.

billyjex

03-09-2005, 07:53 PM

FYI i'm not in this situation, just curious about the hypothetical situaiton.

diddle

03-09-2005, 07:56 PM

she should consider herself lucky to be offered my last name

Richie Rich

03-09-2005, 07:57 PM

All depends on why she won't take your last name. If your last name is "Focker", or her business depends upon her maiden name, then I'd understand. If she just says, "because I like my last name", then dump her.

Although I'm still single, I'm aware that marriage is an inseparable union between two people who take a journey, together, on an unforseen road called life. Think about who you really want to take that journey with. Now think about it some more.

nolanfan34

03-09-2005, 07:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
My last name blows. I'm taking her last name.

[/ QUOTE ]

What are you talking about? Tall is a very cool last name. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

A guy at work did this though when he got married. He took his wife's last name, because she had been adopted, and her adoptive parents had gone through a lot doing so. So her last name had a lot of meaning to her, and he didn't care, so he switched.

It was amazing to see how insensitive people were at work. Some people joked about him behind his back because he did this. I couldn't believe it, name switching is so arbitrary when you think about it, who cares what the end result is? Some people though were so set in what society says we have to do, that they just couldn't look past it without thinking it was funny.

GoblinMason (Craig)

03-09-2005, 07:59 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I'd quit dating her when I found out she was a feminazi.

[/ QUOTE ]

wonderwes

03-09-2005, 08:02 PM

Someone made a post not to even consider getting married until you are 25+. Thats excellent advice. Personally I doubt I would ever get married in the next 10 years because I do not see I could actually find a girl, like her, and then live with her for the rest of my freaking life.

Now this is a minor setback, but I think the consensus would agree once you get married, it takes out of poker time per day/month/year. By what percentage is situational.

wayabvpar

03-09-2005, 08:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
You're deep in love and just asked your girl to marry you. But she's got some hang up, she won't take your last name. She insists on keeping her's, *NO* compromises.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is why I voted to dump her. Not so much that the name issue is a big deal; more that the relationship is in trouble if compromises can't be made. Long term relationships are impossible without compromise.

deacsoft

03-09-2005, 08:03 PM

1st Corinthians
Chapter 13

"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

Love is greater than all things. This would include last names. Of course, I would want her to take my last name, but if she refused I would not object. If I love her enough to marry her then nothing that could be made to be so trivial would stand in my way.

Cheers,

deacsoft

KJS

03-09-2005, 08:05 PM

A compromise is when each party gives something up. What is the guy giving up?

KJS

tpir90036

03-09-2005, 08:06 PM

I could not care less about this sort of thing. She can take whatever name she wants.

The only thing I would argue againt is if she wanted our kids to have hyphenated double-wide names. My kids are going to look Italian and I want them to have a good solid Italian last name to go along with /images/graemlins/wink.gif

Patrick del Poker Grande

03-09-2005, 08:08 PM

[ QUOTE ]
A compromise is when each party gives something up. What is the guy giving up?

KJS

[/ QUOTE ]
Poker, banging other chicks, and an assload of cash.

ilya

03-09-2005, 08:11 PM

No.
I think if the guy thinks it's a big deal, he's got bigger issues than his fiancee.

diddle

03-09-2005, 08:18 PM

[ QUOTE ]
No.
I think if the guy thinks it's a big deal, he's got bigger issues than his fiancee.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, like a psycho fiancee

Richie Rich

03-09-2005, 08:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
The only thing I would argue againt is if she wanted our kids to have hyphenated double-wide names. My kids are going to look Italian and I want them to have a good solid Italian last name to go along with

[/ QUOTE ]

No offense, but most Italians with "good solid Italian last names" wouldn't get into that sort of predicament in the first place. That's almost like a devoted Muslim marrying a strict Catholic and saying, "we'll let the kids decide what they want to believe in." Sounds alright in theory, but doesn't really work.

HDPM

03-09-2005, 08:27 PM

exactly

TStoneMBD

03-09-2005, 08:46 PM

i got no problem with her refusal to change names, ill just take hers if its any cool. my last name sucks, and ive thought about getting it legally changed. my name is michael demichele, with michele being pronounced as the girl michelle. however, the name comes from italy, and my name REALLY means "Michael of Michael." How gay is that?

tbach24

03-09-2005, 08:50 PM

You can't be that deep in love if something that insignificat made you even think about breaking up with her.

[censored]

03-09-2005, 08:54 PM

I would know before I may not dump her but we wouldn't be getting married.

Fabian

03-09-2005, 08:55 PM

These were basically the exact words I was thinking when reading the OP.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">Svar till:</font><hr />
i honestly can't comprehend how stupid a person must be if they're committing the rest of their life to somebody and would not just halt the wedding but end the relationship over something this retarded

[/ QUOTE ]

Riskwise

03-09-2005, 09:00 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i honestly can't comprehend how stupid a person must be if they're committing the rest of their life to somebody and would not just halt the wedding but end the relationship over something this retarded

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Bluffoon

03-09-2005, 09:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
A compromise is when each party gives something up. What is the guy giving up?

KJS

[/ QUOTE ]
Poker, banging other chicks, and an assload of cash.

[/ QUOTE ]

Touche

Joe Tall

03-09-2005, 09:28 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
My last name blows. I'm taking her last name.

[/ QUOTE ]

What are you talking about? Tall is a very cool last name. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

A guy at work did this though when he got married. He took his wife's last name, because she had been adopted, and her adoptive parents had gone through a lot doing so. So her last name had a lot of meaning to her, and he didn't care, so he switched.

It was amazing to see how insensitive people were at work. Some people joked about him behind his back because he did this. I couldn't believe it, name switching is so arbitrary when you think about it, who cares what the end result is? Some people though were so set in what society says we have to do, that they just couldn't look past it without thinking it was funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

I considered changing it as my name is just an immigration service derivation of my Lithuanian name and it's not close. The Lithuanian language does not contain the sur names: Mr, Mrs, Ms. Instead, the last 3 letters of the root family name are changed. As you can suspect, all the immigrants from Lithuania have mixed up last names. Wives and husband were given different last names and sometimes this went unfixed for decades.

ilya

03-09-2005, 09:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No.
I think if the guy thinks it's a big deal, he's got bigger issues than his fiancee.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, like a psycho fiancee

[/ QUOTE ]

hahaha
funny /images/graemlins/grin.gif
but wrong /images/graemlins/frown.gif

Emmitt2222

03-09-2005, 09:44 PM

There is no way I could phrase this that wouldn't make it sound sexist so too bad. I believe that women in some way are suppose to be under the man's command in some sense. The man is the leader of the household and he bears resposibility of leading his family correctly. By taking the woman's name, it is showing a sign of the husband being submissive to the female which only leads to bad things where the femaile believes she has control in relationship.

Both parties are still equal partners but they have differenct roles to play in the relationship, the husband is the head and the female is the support. I firmly believe for this reason that the wife should always take the name of the husband when getting married. If a female can't do that then she is showing that she wants to wear the pants in the relationship and she will most likely not want to be responsible for raising the children, thus making a crappy mother. This sounds so old fashion in todays culture but I believe it is true, don't have enough time to explain it all, don't know if I could ever convince most people about this.

jakethebake

03-09-2005, 09:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I'd quit dating her when I found out she was a feminazi.

[/ QUOTE ]

jakethebake

03-09-2005, 09:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No.
I think if the guy thinks it's a big deal, he's got bigger issues than his fiancee.

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, like a psycho fiancee

[/ QUOTE ]

a psycho femi-nazi fiance.

side note: this term wasn't coined by Limbaugh, unless he coined it back in the 1970s.

jedi

03-09-2005, 09:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
my name REALLY means "Michael of Michael." How gay is that?

[/ QUOTE ]

Considering some of the other threads in this forum, it's not really that gay.

Sweaburg

03-09-2005, 09:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
There is no way I could phrase this that wouldn't make it sound sexist so too bad. I believe that women in some way are suppose to be under the man's command in some sense. The man is the leader of the household and he bears resposibility of leading his family correctly. By taking the woman's name, it is showing a sign of the husband being submissive to the female which only leads to bad things where the femaile believes she has control in relationship.

Both parties are still equal partners but they have differenct roles to play in the relationship, the husband is the head and the female is the support. I firmly believe for this reason that the wife should always take the name of the husband when getting married. If a female can't do that then she is showing that she wants to wear the pants in the relationship and she will most likely not want to be responsible for raising the children, thus making a crappy mother. This sounds so old fashion in todays culture but I believe it is true, don't have enough time to explain it all, don't know if I could ever convince most people about this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Let me guess...the pope gave you these ideas.

judgesmails

03-09-2005, 10:02 PM

I would. To me, getting married means you want to start a family - otherwise why bother. If she does not want to share a family name I would think she is less than committed and therefore I would not marry her.

InchoateHand

03-09-2005, 10:08 PM

Stating the stupid.

Brain

03-09-2005, 10:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
My last name blows. I'm taking her last name.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto. There's no way this name's getting passed on to future generations. Not that I'm planning on having kids anytime soon...ever.

jaxUp

03-09-2005, 10:53 PM

Anybody who would dump somebody (that they have asked to spend their lives with) over this is a fucktard.

peachy

03-09-2005, 11:12 PM

i dont plan on taking my husbands last name and we will have a prenup

CCass

03-09-2005, 11:21 PM

I answered dump her. I guess I am just old fashioned.

However, my cousin (and best friend in the world) is married to a woman of Korean decent, and in Korea it is customary for the woman to keep her maiden name. His wife did, and I have no problem with that. Their daughter has his last name.

deacsoft

03-09-2005, 11:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Anybody who would dump somebody (that they have asked to spend their lives with) over this is a fucktard.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's a "fucktard"?

wacki

03-09-2005, 11:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It's nice to know that you use a term coined by Rush Limbaugh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Rush didn't coin that that term. Slapping nazi on the end of anything that someone is psycho about has been around long before Rush had a radio show.

wacki

03-09-2005, 11:40 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You're deep in love and just asked your girl to marry you. But she's got some hang up, she won't take your last name. She insists on keeping her's, *NO* compromises.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is why I voted to dump her. Not so much that the name issue is a big deal; more that the relationship is in trouble if compromises can't be made. Long term relationships are impossible without compromise.

[/ QUOTE ]

IMO, this is the first real intelligent post I've read in this thread.

Dead

03-09-2005, 11:42 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's nice to know that you use a term coined by Rush Limbaugh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Rush didn't coin that that term. Slapping nazi on the end of anything that someone is psycho about has been around long before Rush had a radio show.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong again, Wacki.

Limbaugh did coin the term.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi
Feminazi is a pejorative term coined by conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh to refer to the feminists that he personally finds the most obnoxious. According to Limbaugh, "a feminazi is a woman to whom the most important thing in life is seeing to it that as many abortions as possible are performed" (source: The Way Things Ought To Be, Rush Limbaugh, p. 192–93, July 2, 1992). Limbaugh also uses the "feminazi" term during discussions of feminist actions or attitudes not specifically related to abortion."

jaxUp

03-09-2005, 11:44 PM

I don't think that "no compromises" meant like in the relationship. I think it meant no doble last name crap, which is fine. This is something she feels strongly about. That's allowed, and should not ruin a relationship.

Reef

03-09-2005, 11:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
wtf why would you care?

I'm not changing my name and I wouldn't expect her to change hers.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree 90%

wacki

03-09-2005, 11:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Wrong again, Wacki.

[/ QUOTE ]

Congrats, you found an encyclopedia that gives credit to Rush. Big woop. I'm still not convinced he made it up. He may of made it famous, but my grandpa and his buddies were slapping nazi on the end of words in WWII!!!!! Rush didn't get credit of that specific variation of (blank)nazi till 1992. Let me see 1992-1944= 48 years. The one I remember him using the most was boatnazi to describe someone that was very controlling of what goes on his boat. Observing that gap, I have a very hard time thinking that Rush was the first person to use feminazi. On the other hand, it is obvious that he made that specific version famous. Still using a (blank)nazi is a old tactic so you can't call anyone that uses it a Rush follower. Since any variation of (blank)nazi should count as one word. You are using bad tactics IMO.

Wrong again my ass...

Dead

03-09-2005, 11:58 PM

He popularized the term.

People who use it are using a word that Rush himself still uses. Name me one other famous person who uses it presently.

MarkL444

03-10-2005, 12:01 AM

what a stupid question. if this matters at all, you are not "deep in love"

wacki

03-10-2005, 12:21 AM

[ QUOTE ]
He popularized the term.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ya, he popularized that specific version of (blank)nazi. I already said that.

[ QUOTE ]
People who use it are using a word that Rush himself still uses. Name me one other famous person who uses it presently.

[/ QUOTE ]

How the hell does that matter?

Seriously, I love your methodology. You attack Patrick del Poker Grande for using a very old and popular verbal technique and use it to label him a Rush-Limbaugh-Nazi. Oh wait, does that word not exist?!?!?! Maybe you should write to wikepedia. Oh, I get it, I have to be famous and controversial. Well I'll start a radio show and then start talking about butt-nazi's who are also marriage-nazi's. That sounds controversial enough. Then, 15 years later if anyone uses the term butt-nazi, I will label them a wacki-nazi!!!! That sounds perfect! I can't wait to get started.

Shut the [censored] up and leave Patrick del Poker Grande alone.

Dead

03-10-2005, 12:23 AM

Lol I didn't attack Patrick.

I just commented that he was using a word that is one of Limbaugh's favorite pejoratives.

jakethebake

03-10-2005, 12:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It's nice to know that you use a term coined by Rush Limbaugh.

[/ QUOTE ]

Rush didn't coin that that term. Slapping nazi on the end of anything that someone is psycho about has been around long before Rush had a radio show.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong again, Wacki.

Limbaugh did coin the term.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi
Feminazi is a pejorative term coined by conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh to refer to the feminists that he personally finds the most obnoxious. According to Limbaugh, "a feminazi is a woman to whom the most important thing in life is seeing to it that as many abortions as possible are performed" (source: The Way Things Ought To Be, Rush Limbaugh, p. 192–93, July 2, 1992). Limbaugh also uses the "feminazi" term during discussions of feminist actions or attitudes not specifically related to abortion."

[/ QUOTE ]

you're an idiot. do u really believe everything in wikipedia?

jakethebake

03-10-2005, 12:29 AM

I'v been looking for someone else to put on my blocked posters list. Thanks for showing up, Dead. Ummm....and your idiotic avatar is a little behind the times. Everyone else ditched those several months ago.

Isura

03-10-2005, 12:30 AM

I never would dump her over it, but I would be pretty upset about it. I could want my children to have their father's lastname, although I think it's fine when women use their own last name outside the family (ie at work, etc).

thirddan

03-10-2005, 12:31 AM

my last name is GARGLE, beat that...i wouldn't expect anyone to switch to that...

jimdmcevoy

03-10-2005, 12:34 AM

A name is no big deal IMO. Both my brother in law's actually chose to change there name to my family's name.

jakethebake

03-10-2005, 12:36 AM

[ QUOTE ]
A name is no big deal IMO. Both my brother in law's actually chose to change there name to my family's name.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now that's whipped.

jimdmcevoy

03-10-2005, 12:38 AM

don't you worry, I give them plenty of s**t about it

Dead

03-10-2005, 12:41 AM

You're just a douche anyway jake. 7 or 8 people on here already have you blocked.

Paluka

03-10-2005, 12:44 AM

Mike Gallo

03-10-2005, 12:47 AM

Married since June and my wife has not changed her name.

We discussed it before the wedding and I had no problem with it.

Brain

03-10-2005, 12:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anybody who would dump somebody (that they have asked to spend their lives with) over this is a fucktard.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's a "fucktard"?

[/ QUOTE ]

fucktard=[censored] retard

(I bet I can't beat the censor /images/graemlins/grin.gif )

EDIT: I was wrong!