BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (stupid low content, don't read)

[JihadOnTheRiver]

So I'm teaching my roommate to play poker, and I'm using online to start. I'm watching over his shoulder as he's using my account to play these UNREAL 1/2 games. Then this hand comes up. WTF?!?!?! I play 10/20 live but am now considering coming down to these levels. I'm sure this is nothing new to you guys. I'm wondering how he's sustaining a 5BB rate, but this makes it kinda obvious...

Party Poker 1/2 Hold'em (10 handed) converter (http://www.selachian.com/tools/bisonconverter/hhconverter.cgi)

Preflop: Hero is UTG+2 with J/images/graemlins/club.gif, K/images/graemlins/club.gif.
<font color="#666666">1 fold</font>, UTG+1 calls, Hero calls, <font color="#666666">3 folds</font>, CO calls, Button calls, SB completes.

Flop: (6 SB) A/images/graemlins/club.gif, 2/images/graemlins/club.gif, 7/images/graemlins/club.gif <font color="#0000FF">(6 players)</font>
<font color="#CC3333">SB bets</font>, UTG+1 folds, Hero calls, CO calls, Button folds.

Turn: (4.50 BB) 8/images/graemlins/diamond.gif <font color="#0000FF">(4 players)</font>
<font color="#CC3333">SB bets</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero raises</font>, CO calls, <font color="#CC3333">SB 3-bets</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero caps</font>, CO folds, SB calls.

River: (14.50 BB) T/images/graemlins/spade.gif <font color="#0000FF">(3 players)</font>
<font color="#CC3333">SB bets</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero raises</font>, <font color="#CC3333">SB 3-bets</font>, <font color="#CC3333">Hero caps</font>, SB calls.

Final Pot: 22.50 BB

Results in white below: <font color="#FFFFFF">
SB has Qc 6s (high card, ace).
BB has Th 5c (one pair, tens).
Hero has Jc Kc (flush, ace high).
Outcome: Hero wins 22.50 BB. </font>
I hope you guys are making tons of money at these tables. If you're sustaining a losing rate at these tables, NEVER PLAY POKER AGAIN.

-JIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

[Firefly]

Raise the flop.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
Raise the flop.

[/ QUOTE ]

Let me make one thing clear. You peons shut your mouths, I'll teach him how to play poker. This is for humor purposes only.

-Silly Capitalists...

PS. You don't have enough info about the table to say that. If its that obvious that this is a raise with no other info, please make your way to my home game, where I will put your entire bankroll in my turban and Camel-up out that biatch...

[sin808]

raise pf, and raise the flop. and no, this isn't anything new, they really play like this.

[hate]

raise preflop too

[sin808]

[ QUOTE ]
PS. You don't have enough info about the table to say that.

[/ QUOTE ]

It was a 1/2 table- that's all the info needed. Only at the worst of the worst tables would this not be raised.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
raise preflop too

[/ QUOTE ]

Would one of you plebes give me a reason for PF raising this? Once you do, I'll tell you why your wrong. ABC is not the way. Most books say walk it PF anyway. Seeing these clowns play for an hour validated this play and it was perfect. Read what they had and think of how many bets you miss if you raise the flop. Prolly 10 BB. Damn it, this wasn't supposed to be that kind of post. Forget it. I'm ouuuuuut...

-JIHAD

[hate]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
raise preflop too

[/ QUOTE ]

Would one of you plebes give me a reason for PF raising this? Once you do, I'll tell you why your wrong. ABC is not the way. Most books say walk it PF anyway. Seeing these clowns play for an hour validated this play and it was perfect. Read what they had and think of how many bets you miss if you raise the flop. Prolly 10 BB. Damn it, this wasn't supposed to be that kind of post. Forget it. I'm ouuuuuut...

-JIHAD

[/ QUOTE ]

If you can't understand high card strength over flush draw and one-off connector potential in a small field, then you should be coming to MY home game and you can spout off all you want about turbans and [censored] while I'm counting your chips.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

Do better. I'm letting my little clown boy read these, even though I told him to never read this site as he'll end up being a 12/7 bot

[mmbt0ne]

Matador?

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
Matador?

[/ QUOTE ]

Touche. No.

[DavidC]

what's a 12/7 bot?

12% vpip 7% pfr?

Just curious.

--Dave.

[Redd]

Dude, next time you post in the micros, I'd avoid stuff like:

[ QUOTE ]
I'll tell you why your wrong

[/ QUOTE ]
And especially:
[ QUOTE ]
You peons shut your mouths

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you plebes

[/ QUOTE ]

People here are new to poker, but we're not idiots and don't deserve that sort of treatment. It takes a pretty big ego to call someone a 'peon' while he's voluntarily trying to help you improve your game.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
People here are new to poker, but we're not idiots and don't deserve that sort of treatment. It takes a pretty big ego to call someone a 'peon' while he's voluntarily trying to help you improve your game.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, and I'm not sure how much his roommate likes being called "clown boy". /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Over the internet though, I view this kind of behavior as "interesting" rather than irritating.

[LazyRobot]

I'm thinking 12%vpip and 7pfr robot like player.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
what's a 12/7 bot?

12% vpip 7% pfr?

Just curious.

--Dave.

[/ QUOTE ]

It's what this site will turn you into if you're not very careful. Yes, that's it. An exaggeration, but a fear.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]
Dude, next time you post in the call someone a 'peon' while he's voluntarily trying to help you improve your game.

[/ QUOTE ]

How exactly is "Raise PF" help? Its a generic statement of how someone might play this hand differently without figuring any other factors. Posters will too often simply say "raise/fold/call" for no reason. That will not help ANYbody's game. Just turn them into a BOT. PS, again, the guy this is posted for is new, I'm not. I'm helping him.

[DavidC]

thanks for the explanation.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

[ QUOTE ]

Yeah, and I'm not sure how much his roommate likes being called "clown boy". /images/graemlins/smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't asked him. Hold on, lemme take the mask off and remove the ball from his mouth...

He says "Thank you for the compliment, sir. May I have another?"

[Dead]

Yeah you're Matador alright.

[Emmitt2222]

Let's see:
posts a questionable hand and then only later offers reads that back up his play, check
violently defends every decisions as if he knows everything and everyone else knows nothing, check
hasnt been a decent incarnation of matador around recently, check
posts a multitude of replies in his own thread which few newbies would do, check

Please everyone add this one to your block user list before we get more annoying flame wars, thank you.

[hate]

Reads don't back up any stance he has here, duder. Either the table's loose in which the raise is for value or the table's tight in which the raise is to isolate. Either way he's a shitty player giving shitty advice, I welcome everything he says.

[Dead]

http://img238.exs.cx/img238/6337/banhim5gf.jpg

[elbuddha]

[ QUOTE ]
Posters will too often simply say "raise/fold/call" for no reason. That will not help ANYbody's game.

[/ QUOTE ]
Regardless of the inanity in the rest of this thread, this statement is absolutely valid.

[DavidC]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Posters will too often simply say "raise/fold/call" for no reason. That will not help ANYbody's game.

[/ QUOTE ]
Regardless of the inanity in the rest of this thread, this statement is absolutely valid.

[/ QUOTE ]

It frustrates me sometimes, but if people need someone to just look over their shoulder, and they're familiar with the concepts, and they are kinda looking for consensus, this type of reply is adequate.

But MOST of the time it frustrates me.

[bottomset]

you shouldn't raise this preflop in UTG+2, with 1limper

limp and get a multiway pot going

also raising the flop here might not be ideal either, you shut out the 2ppl behind you

[hate]

[ QUOTE ]
you shouldn't raise this preflop in UTG+2, with 1limper

limp and get a multiway pot going

also raising the flop here might not be ideal either, you shut out the 2ppl behind you

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't like that play nearly as much as I do with JTs and QJs where top pair is less likely to hold up. Anyway, 1/2 is loose enough where raising doesn't shut out people.

[JihadOnTheRiver]

LOL. Fair enough. Ban away. I'm glad to see that some of the replies finally dealt with some of the real issues. Final thought, I don't like raising PF on a hand that I play almost exclusively as a drawing hand, from such early position. I originally posted this because I was just completely blown away at the moronity (just made that up, ty, ty) of this play. I don't think a Beetle Juice (a la Howard Stern fame) could have played this worse. But I guess it actually brings up a couple decent talking points....

1) I like the limp here, and I like the straight call on the flop. They're both debatable, but poker is not ABC. My play works for me, I am a winner over a large sample. But some of your play might not handle the limp the same way.

2) Although I'm very new to this forum, it's obviously a problem here when lately 1/2 the responses to posts - stupid or not - are just a one liner. Especially at this level, that is teaching bad technique. I don't usually come across many situations at the table in which a decision is as easy as raise/fold/call. There are so many factors and when you give that kind of advice to micro-limit players, you automatically instil bad habits.

While this post was obviously stupid (AS I SAID IN THE FRIGGIN TITLE), if you wanted to respond to something other than how stupid-easy money is at this level, the appropriate way to address it would have been to ask for clarification on reads and how the table was playing. Other than that, it was a hilarious hand...seriously, read it over...and some of you got a little huffy. Loosen up a bit. Beat your dog, not my camel.

-Durka Durka bitches

PS. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not Matador. Those threads were before my time. But by all means...ban/block me. I'm a persecuted man anyways...

[hate]

You post a stupid hand, expect correction of your weak-ass play. I wouldn't go into a longwinded explanation of why your play sucks donkeyshit just like I wouldn't try to teach a monkey basic algebra.

[Shillx]

Fwiw you play way too aggressive pre-5th street in heads up matches. Then on the river you don't bet average hands for value.

Brad

[thulin888]

[ QUOTE ]
Dude, next time you post in the micros, I'd avoid stuff like:

[ QUOTE ]
I'll tell you why your wrong

[/ QUOTE ]
And especially:
[ QUOTE ]
You peons shut your mouths

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you plebes

[/ QUOTE ]

People here are new to poker, but we're not idiots and don't deserve that sort of treatment. It takes a pretty big ego to call someone a 'peon' while he's voluntarily trying to help you improve your game.

[/ QUOTE ]

[SCfuji]

is it just me or did the bb vanish from this hand entirely?

raise this pf. the flop call is fine. you made up for that sb nicely in later streets.

and you keep talking about these "reads". care to share them with us?

[olavfo]

Probably a losing guy, low on chips who spewed out his last ones before he left.

I reckon I average at least 1 BB each day from last-hand-spewers.

olavfo

[easypete]

[ QUOTE ]
How exactly is "Raise PF" help?

[/ QUOTE ]

How exactly is

[ QUOTE ]
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA...BAHAHBAHHAHAHAHHA. Allah is angry at you for playing this way. He says your turban must be too tight. He says, next time you play this way, you will be required to sacrifice your hand, particularly whichever one you click with.

[/ QUOTE ]

any help?

BTW... I like your reasoning for the pf and flop actions. Yes, raising pf may be good here, but a little too early for most, especially when first learning the game (as clown boy is). As for the flop... there's not many arguements I will accept for raising this. SB is betting... it's a beautiful thing. Build a pot.

Also... this type of hand (and idiocy by PP opponents) happen all the time. I count on it... I make money on it... I don't waste time making posts and clogging up the boards with it.

[zuluking]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
How exactly is "Raise PF" help?

[/ QUOTE ]

How exactly is

[ QUOTE ]
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA...BAHAHBAHHAHAHAHHA. Allah is angry at you for playing this way. He says your turban must be too tight. He says, next time you play this way, you will be required to sacrifice your hand, particularly whichever one you click with.

[/ QUOTE ]

any help?

BTW... I like your reasoning for the pf and flop actions. Yes, raising pf may be good here, but a little too early for most, especially when first learning the game (as clown boy is). As for the flop... there's not many arguements I will accept for raising this. SB is betting... it's a beautiful thing. Build a pot.

Also... this type of hand (and idiocy by PP opponents) happen all the time. I count on it... I make money on it... I don't waste time making posts and clogging up the boards with it.

[/ QUOTE ]

They haven't caught you at work yet?

[zuluking]

I must admit that I'm guilty of the "raise PF" advice without any explination in some posts.

[easypete]

[ QUOTE ]
They haven't caught you at work yet?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm... no. But, fortunately for me, I'm the only engineer w/ projects, so I have all the desingers and drafters in the department working for me. That leaves me with not a lot to do. I'm doing my part in making sure that these guys don't get laid off because we don't have work.

[partygirluk]

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah you're Matador alright.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wrong.

[Buckyinsc]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Yeah, and I'm not sure how much his roommate likes being called "clown boy". /images/graemlins/smile.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't asked him. Hold on, lemme take the mask off and remove the ball from his mouth...

He says "Thank you for the compliment, sir. May I have another?"

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey jerk, you just made me blow a snot bubble, and brought me to tears with this reply. I'm ROFLMAO and reaching for a tissue to dry my eyes. Funniest post I've read in a while.