Taunted by a fortune cookie

[nolanfan34]

So, I'm approaching 5 weeks since I had surgery to have my appendix taken out. By doctor's orders, that means it's another week or two still before I can return to the gym, play golf, etc.

Today I get Panda Express for lunch, and open my fortune cookie. It reads:

"Work on improving your exercise routine"

Bastards!!! How dare they!!

Seriously though, I think it's pretty funny that they would print a fortune like that, given the fact that the chance of it ending up in the hands of a fat person is pretty high.

[MEbenhoe]

[ QUOTE ]
Today I get Panda Express for lunch, and open my fortune cookie. It reads:

"Work on improving your exercise routine"

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha awesome fortune. Panda = amazing btw. It's like fast food chinese.

[soccerboy9]

i got one the other day that said "you will be fortunate in everything you do."

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
i got one the other day that said "you will be fortunate in everything you do."

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, but that can apply to everyone. I won't be surprised when some fat person sues them for emotional distress, after getting a fortune telling them they need to exercise. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[M2d]

after eating a nice healthy meal or orange chicken, deep fried shrimp and greasy chow mein.

[deacsoft]

My last fortune cookie said, "You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial".

[BusterStacks]

omg give me some orange chicken.

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
omg give me some orange chicken.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, all gone.

[Hojglad]

[ QUOTE ]
My last fortune cookie said, "You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial".

[/ QUOTE ]
And for some reason, all you could think about over the next several days was that pert plus commercial with Mike Piazza. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[Six_of_One]

I got one that said "Be careful, you are easily tempted."

Thanks, guys. I preferred the one that said "You have inexhaustible wisdom and power."

[SomethingClever]

[ QUOTE ]
i got one the other day that said "you will be fortunate in everything you do."

[/ QUOTE ]

I got this one too. So far, true.

[BusterStacks]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
omg give me some orange chicken.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry, all gone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This thread inspired me to get a double order of orange chicken. Mmmm I took it down.

[wacki]

I had one that said:

big kitties are mean, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.

I bought it at a nudy shop and slipped into a girls plate at a very nice chinese restaurant.

[rusellmj]

Please, everyone knows you're not supposed to take fortune cookies at face value. You must add "in bed" to the end of every fortune.

Russ

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
Please, everyone knows you're not supposed to take fortune cookies at face value. You must add "in bed" to the end of every fortune.

Russ

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm, if that's the case, then it makes a lot more sense! /images/graemlins/blush.gif

[peachy]

has anyone noticed that some of the cookies dont even have fourtunes anymore??? they say some bogus crap...and its not even a philosophical line...u read it and r like wtf is that bs???

[mmbt0ne]

I like to refer to these as 'proverb cookies.' Take my last one for instance:

Patience is easy to wish for and difficult to achieve. In bed.

[peachy]

no no...i said they werent philos or proverb...they r NORMAL english words...but they make no sense and tell no fortune...this is becoming more frequent!! ggrrr i must find an old one somewhere...as i rarely eat chinese

PS ahahah we always add in bed too!!

[kerssens]

"you will find love on Flag Day"

[3rdEye]

When I was in high school, we went on a field trip downtown and a bunch of my friends and I, along with a group of chicks we were all drooling over, went to lunch at the Chinese buffet. Before we left, we replaced the fortunes in about 40 of the fortune cookies with dirty/funny fortunes of our own.

On the bus back to school later, no less than 3 of the girls got our tampered cookies, one of which was, "You will be anally violated by a large black man."

Hey, it's funny to me.