Poker / girlfriend issues

[ToneLoc]

Yesterday I was multitablnig crypto. My girlfriend calls me to start the usual argument about how we do not spend enough time together blah blah blah...

After 2 mins of listening to that insane bull-s, I do what a man has to do: i lose my temper.

In the midst of the following argument, I am holding AJT5 in the 2.50/5.00 PLO game, and because she ruined my concentration, I miss the fact that I have the nut boat when the board shows TT52 on the turn (didn t even see i had top 2 on flop and checked), and FOLD when some sucker bets 70 pounds into me... We both have around 400 gbp...

Should I ask her for the money ? /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[whiskeytown]

sounds like a great way to lose a girlfriend you'd feel too bad about dumping.

Otherwise, if I were you, I'd shut your friggen piehole /images/graemlins/grin.gif

RB

[ToneLoc]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd shut your friggen piehole

[/ QUOTE ]

This is outside the boundaries of the proper english i was taught at school... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[MarkL444]

spend more time with her?

[bholdr]

If you value poker more than this particular GF, dump her ass.

if you're sore about the money, tell her you're going to take her out next saturday night, take her to micky D's, and explain why you're not at Ruth's chris' steakhouse.

if you realize that poker will not ever give you a hummer, sack up and file it under 'cost of doin'' bussiness'.

[bholdr]

not her fault...

[Chris Daddy Cool]

do you guys live together? because if she was visiting you and you spent the time playing poker, i think thats pretty stupid. if you do live together work out a certain schedule with her so you can log in some hours and still be able to spend time with her.

[bholdr]

sack up.

[jaxUp]

If you are with her because you really like being with her and all that jazz, then you can't ask her for the money. Also, if this is the case then spend more time with her (or possibly just more "meaningful time" with her).

If you are with her just to "get a piece," then you can't aske her for the money, because you aren't getting laid for a long time.

I will give you the benefist of the doubt and say you are option #1, so just let it go. (The micky D's suggestion is pretty funny).

[peachy]

either respect her and spend more time with her...or break up with her so SHE can move on with her life...that way u wont continue this vicious cycle of u playin poker - her getting mad - you losing b/c ur now mad - you get more mad at her...this is just retarded. im hardheaded...and it took me some gettin used to that someone close to me played a TON of poker...but i sucked it up and choose to LEARN to play SO I COULD spend time with them....i didnt and wouldnt ask them to give it up...but it was making things hard...so i picked the best option. Bottom line - COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!! talk to her...try and compromise...if u cant...ur relationship is doomed anyway b/c it sounds like niether of u is willing to be on the complete opposite end of "not receieving"


so u have one of 2 options:
spend more time with her
break up with her and spend more time with poker

dont blame her when u r causing the problem 1st

[jaxUp]

ToneLoc, peachy is a girl. Weight her response as such (meaning heavily)

[ToneLoc]

Have to reply as you all took it more seriously that I intended it to be.

Peachy, good post, interesting that you learnt to play to share your man's passion. This is a more constructive reaction that the (too usual) one of trying to change you at all cost, without never understanding the importance that the game can have in your life.
I just think that if you cannot accept people as they are, just don't date them...

But no worries, that was not the point, things are going well, we will find an equilibrium point i guess!

More importantly, I am not too sure, how much money should I ask, I can definately bust the guy on that one, can't I /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[InchoateHand]

Dude, take out your [censored] tampon. You'll get toxic shock syndrome.

[bcunha]

Man up and sack up.

[Freakin]

Explain to her what poker is to you. If you want it to be treated like a part time job, tell her that. I would hope that she wouldn't call you at a real job and distract you to the point of error.

If it's just a hobby, then the only way to explain is it that you'd sometimes rather play poker than spend time with her. That would be pretty weak.

I'm pretty open with my fiance about it. Our conversation Wednesday went like this.

Me:
"I'm not going to spend time with you tomorrow night because I'll be at home playing poker. Lets hang out Friday night."

Her:
"You didn't have to say it so rudely"

Me:
"I just wanted to make sure that it was clear"

Her:
"Ok, thats fine, I'll go do blah blah blah blah"

Caller her once last night to see how she was doing, and she left me alone otherwise. If you get all heated about it and start acting like she owes you 400 pounds, then sooner or later you're going to explode and it will end poorly.

Freakin

[MicroBob]

I guess it also kind of depends on how much time you are actually spending with her vs. how much time you are spending on poker.
How often are you blowing her off for poker?


[ QUOTE ]
Me:
"I'm not going to spend time with you tomorrow night because I'll be at home playing poker. Lets hang out Friday night."

[/ QUOTE ]



I've NEVER said this.
I guess I cam kind of close last week when my GF called me last-minute and said "my mom, brother and I are all going out to dinner just a few minutes from you place. you want to join us?"
"geez...sorry baby. I didn't think we were going out tonight and I'm in 4 multi-table tournaments at once right now and have a bit of money invested in these."
"that's okay. just inviting you to see if you wanted to come. You've got to work."


Other than this when I really didn't want to ditch 4 MTT's that were in various stages....If my GF wants to get together then we get together. She's not really that overbearing about it though (in fact, I'm the one who would like to spend a little more time together).

She's pretty busy with her family obligations ("it's Friday so I'm supposed to be going out to dinner with my mom and brother. then i have to work on saturday and sunday. so i'll see you Monday, okay??").


I mean....maybe the gals that you guys are with are more over-bearing than I'm imagining...but you guys do realize that online-poker is available 24/7 right?



If they want to spend every waking minute of free-time with you then they might not be such terrific relationship material to begin with.

If you get annoyed with seeing her more than a couple times a week and would prefer to blow off the GF and sit at home multi-tabling all night then I suggest you've got issues (and should probably get a new GF who you like hanging out with more).

[beerbandit]

checkraise the turn

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
checkraise the turn

[/ QUOTE ]
I think he played the hand fine.

[citanul]

[ QUOTE ]
If you value poker more than this particular GF, dump her ass.

if you're sore about the money, tell her you're going to take her out next saturday night, take her to micky D's, and explain why you're not at Ruth's chris' steakhouse.

if you realize that poker will not ever give you a hummer, sack up and file it under 'cost of doin'' bussiness'.

[/ QUOTE ]

the line "if you value poker ..." is just plain stupid. you and everyone else should really be able to have both. if there's issues where the poker is actually taking *all* of your free time, you have an issue. but really, you should be able to find time when she's busy doing other things to do your pokering. especially if you're a pro/unemployed.

to the op: learn to manage stress better. you sound like you could use a nap or a warm glass of milk. if you can't multitask well enough to talk on the phone and play cards, don't multitable either. i'm sorry i included anything that poker related in oot. so yeah, suck up the "loss" from the other day.

and chillax, and sit down for a while and think about your priorities. i'm not telling you what they are or should be, but you should think about it some.

citanul

[willie]

[ QUOTE ]
checkraise the turn

[/ QUOTE ]

and it's not even close

[MicroBob]

agreed....usually if i make a bad play while talking to my GF on the phone i blame myself, not her.

[Freakin]

Bob,

For me, it was about clearing the bonus, and needing some time to myself. I had spent the entirety of the previous 24 hours with her actively watching season two of 24 and caring for our godson. I had to work the next 3 days, and I had either thursday night or friday night. My bonus exipres saturday morning, and I wanted to make sure that I could allot enough time to finish my 1400 hands. I explained that to her, and she was fine with it.

I've barely played 3000 hands in teh last 6 weeks because I got a new job and would rather spend time with her than play poker. In this situation, however, I didn't want to scrap my whole bonus and I didn't want any company either.

Freakin

[citanul]

so.... you're saying basically that all that aside, you should maybe possibly try to keep your temper in check a little bit from now on?

citanul

[beerbandit]

[ QUOTE ]
and FOLD when some sucker bets 70 pounds into me

[/ QUOTE ]

ok

[1800GAMBLER]

[ QUOTE ]
not her fault...

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea, you should have put the phone down way before this hand even started.

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
so.... you're saying basically that all that aside, you should maybe possibly try to keep your temper in check a little bit from now on?

citanul

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I definitely think temper should be kept in check around girlfriends/wives. It doesn't accomplish anything, and only serves to feed itself. It clouds thought. I rarely lose my temper around my fiance, and always regret it when I do. When I told her I was playing poker thursday, I didn't say it angrily, just firmly & without my "girlfriend voice".

Freakin