Advice For Black People

[Rushmore]

Do NOT go on the Maury Povich show.

Maury Povich is the devil, and clearly only intends to make your women look like sluts and your men look like lazy, irresponsible good-for-nothing dogs.

Oh, yeah: If you're WHITE, and you are invited onto the Maury Povich show, you should not go, either, because you will be generally excoriated for your interracial affairs and your irresponsible sexual exploits.

How is it possible that this guy is not arrested for hate crimes?

And hey--I don't even believe there should be any such thing as a "hate crime!"

[Asufiji2004]

This made me laugh for a good minute.

[istewart]

Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[PoBoy321]

I love Maury. They once had an episode where an african-american man came on who had one leg, so he was hopping around with a crutch. They said that his girlfriend had a surprise for him. The surprise was that she was a whore and had had sex with at least 200 men in the last six months while they were dating. The guy got so pissed that he went to run off-stage but forgot his crutch and had to hop away.

Now THAT'S entertainment.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]Yeah, who the hell do they think they are not picking European-American names for their children?

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]Yeah, who the hell do they think they are not picking European-American names for their children?

[/ QUOTE ]

To be fair, I'm pretty sure "Shaniqua" and "D'vonne" are not traditional African names either. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

And yes, I realize how politically incorrect this entire thing is...

[istewart]

I didn't say they had to pick Euro-American names.

My point was that the type of name mentioned above 1) is a bad name and 2) doesn't exactly set you on a road to success in the U.S. these days.

[shant]

This reminds me I need to start Tivo'ing Maury.

[istewart]

Last week this 12 year old black kid got this girl pregnant, lmao.

[IronDragon1]

Hate all you want but I for one am glad that someone finally speaks out for people like me:

A 14 year old bride who wants to know who's her baby's daddy.

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]
Hate all you want but I for one am glad that someone finally speaks out for people like me:

A 14 year old bride who wants to know who's her baby's daddy.

[/ QUOTE ]

That reminds me of the best maury ever.

This check, who has been on the show TWO other times, finally figures out who her baby's daddy is and brings him on the show for a paternity test. They talk about it a while, show clips of her crying and running off the stage the last two times when it came out the guys weren't her baby's daddy.

They ask the guy if he'll take care of her and be a father to the baby. He says he's sure he isn't the father, but yah, if he is he will.

They get around finally to giving us the results.

The 3rd man she's brought on the show, having slept with them all, is......




NOT THE FATHER....

<crying and running off the stage insues>

...
<as does gloating by the guy. Hah bitch, i told you i wasn't the daddy>

[M2d]

[ QUOTE ]
babbies daddy.


[/ QUOTE ]
It's baby daddy (singular) or baby daddies (plural)...sheesh!!

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
babbies daddy.


[/ QUOTE ]
It's baby daddy (singular) or baby daddies (plural)...sheesh!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey man, that's how they spelled it on the show. It's not my fault maury's crew got it wrong.

Edit:

Also, isn't it possessive? So wouldn't it be, "He is my baby’s daddy" ? Or babies' actually, which means i only really added a b, and you are being a nit. A nit that wasn't even correct, since i was using possessive and not pural.

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
I didn't say they had to pick Euro-American names.

My point was that the type of name mentioned above 1) is a bad name and 2) doesn't exactly set you on a road to success in the U.S. these days.

[/ QUOTE ]
Your name is Stewart, right?

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]

It must be exhausting to make yourself look like a complete retard on a day to day basis.
-James

[jedi]

[ QUOTE ]
I love Maury. They once had an episode where an african-american man came on who had one leg, so he was hopping around with a crutch. They said that his girlfriend had a surprise for him. The surprise was that she was a whore and had had sex with at least 200 men in the last six months while they were dating. The guy got so pissed that he went to run off-stage but forgot his crutch and had to hop away.

Now THAT'S entertainment.

[/ QUOTE ]

You know, I'm an advocate for the disabled, but this story was just way too funny not to laugh. It's wrong on so many levels.

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]Yeah, who the hell do they think they are not picking European-American names for their children?

[/ QUOTE ]

To be fair, I'm pretty sure "Shaniqua" and "D'vonne" are not traditional African names either. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

And yes, I realize how politically incorrect this entire thing is...

[/ QUOTE ]

Who the hell cares if they are traditional African names or not?
-James

[InchoateHand]

Watch out for Whitey.

[TheJunkyardGod]

Further Advice: Learn to walk faster. Especially when crossing the street.

[David04]

The best episode of Maury I have ever seen is when some slut was looking for the father of her baby. Every other episode is like this, so it was no surprise. Usually 2 or 3 guys get tested on these episodes.


On this episode, and I am not lying to you, TWELVE guys got a paternity test. Twelve.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]

It must be exhausting to make yourself look like a complete retard on a day to day basis.


[/ QUOTE ]

Your two cents is always highly valued. Tell me this: how many people named Shaniqua do you think are really well-off in life? It's like a death sentence.

[/ QUOTE ]

How many Mike's do you know that are well off? thousands?.. that's because there are a hundreds of millions of people named Mike/Michael. Now, when there are only hundreds Shaniqua's out there...you get my point.

btw, your racist comments/tone can end now


edit: smartest thing you did all day was to delete your last post.

[A_C_Slater]

This morning I was channel surfing and I stopped at Maury's show for about 5 seconds which was just long enough for Maury to ask a child about 8 or 9 years old "But isn't that just another term for an orgy?"

I quickly flipped the channel in disgust as I managed to reaffirm the validity of my misanthropy once again.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
Your two cents is always highly valued. Tell me this: how many people named Shaniqua do you think are really well-off in life? It's like a death sentence.

[/ QUOTE ]Stupidest comment ever.

"Causation"; look it up, then try again.

[James282]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Your two cents is always highly valued. Tell me this: how many people named Shaniqua do you think are really well-off in life? It's like a death sentence.

[/ QUOTE ]Stupidest comment ever.

"Causation"; look it up, then try again.

[/ QUOTE ]

Did he really write that and then go and delete it? Who is this guy? Can we set an 18 and over restriction on the forum somehow? And BTW, I knew a girl when I was in high school named Shaniqua who went to major in Bio at Lafayette. I never heard from her or talked to her since, but that alone puts her head and shoulders ahead of plenty of white people with "white names." God you are so stupid. As if somebody's name is going to make someone's life be a death sentence. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
-James

[istewart]

I'll put it up again, I just didn't feel the argument needed to be continued. I'm oh, so pleased that you knew a black girl that majored in Bio at Lafayette. That really means a lot to me.

If you don't think having a name like "Shaniqua" as opposed to "Jessica" will run you into many more unpleasant situations and force you to endure hardships in this country, you're kidding yourself.

[BottlesOf]

Hahahaha, I work right there, like less than a block away, and we decided one Friday we're all gonna go to a taping and get crazy. It's gonna rule.

[Matty]

James, I hope you didn't miss (this (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=exchange&Number=1773315&Fo rum=,,,,,All_Forums,,,,,&Words=&Searchpage=4&Limit =25&Main=1766945&Search=true&where=&Name=9862&date range=&newerval=&newertype=&olderval=&oldertype=&b odyprev=#Post1773315)) gem.[ QUOTE ]
If you don't think having a name like "Shaniqua" as opposed to "Jessica" will run you into many more unpleasant situations and force you to endure hardships in this country, you're kidding yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]Not so long as she knows enough to steer away from your type- which I imagine is a lot easier to do in real life than on the internet.

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll put it up again, I just didn't feel the argument needed to be continued. I'm oh, so pleased that you knew a black girl that majored in Bio at Lafayette. That really means a lot to me.

If you don't think having a name like "Shaniqua" as opposed to "Jessica" will run you into many more unpleasant situations and force you to endure hardships in this country, you're kidding yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's 100% due to race, not the fact that her name is Shaniqua, you moron.

[maryfield48]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Further advice: don't end your daughter's name with "-iqua."

[/ QUOTE ]

It must be exhausting to make yourself look like a complete retard on a day to day basis.
-James

[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunately I fear that he manages it without really trying.

[istewart]

I think my original statement was pretty obviously in jest, although some of you seem to be too dim to realize that.

Keep spewing your "omg did you just infer that Shaniqua is typically a black name?" crap at me. Now that you're getting into the nitty-gritty of it, it's pretty clear that Shaniqua is not a preferable name to have.

It's quite ridiculous how uptight and offended you get by the mere mention of race.

[Vince Young]

Again, your name is Stewart, right?

[istewart]

You're completely wrong. Black people do have jobs in upper level positions, in case you've been asleep. Yet you don't see Juwon or Papiqua raking in the bucks, do you?

[Jack of Arcades]

He's not completely wrong. The thing is, it's the same reason you don't see many Bubbas in corporate positions. This is due to the fact that they're more likely to come from the lower class, where opportunities are restricted.

[Vince Young]

[ QUOTE ]
You're completely wrong. Black people do have jobs in upper level positions, in case you've been asleep. Yet you don't see Juwon or Papiqua raking in the bucks, do you?

[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe that's because they're not common names, therefore less people have those names, therefore less wealthy people have those names!

Of course, that can't be it, since all the White people named Melvap, Vilgot, and Olof are "raking in the bucks."

[istewart]

Would this not be a reason to avoid naming your daughter that? Since names like that are immediately correlated with poor blacks?

This is my whole point. When someone tells you that her name is Shaniqua or the like, you don't exactly envision life in a mansion with a pool. Or anything resembling fun, or good. That can't exactly be a fun way to go about life.

But maybe some of the posters above find fault with this, because, you know, they live in utopia where everyone is equal and it doesn't matter if you're named James Edward Longthorpe III or Shaniqua Bevon Deejarnay.

[Jack of Arcades]

Yes, I agree with you. For once.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
If you don't think having a name like "Shaniqua" as opposed to "Jessica" will run you into many more unpleasant situations and force you to endure hardships in this country, you're kidding yourself.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminded me of a study I saw 5-10 years ago where a bunch of resumes were sent out with "white" names, and copies were sent out with "black" names. The "white" ones were much more successful in getting a response.

fwiw.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
He's not completely wrong. The thing is, it's the same reason you don't see many Bubbas in corporate positions. This is due to the fact that they're more likely to come from the lower class, where opportunities are restricted.

[/ QUOTE ]No, I think it's because 'Bubba' is a nickname.

[James282]

So you invision the way people live based on their names? I bet you have very accurate results. It's obvious to me that you have absolutely no life experience, and make all of your generalistic and narrow-minded claims based on things you see on the internet. You do sit on the internet for 14 hours a day, after all.


Let me repeat, you are a [censored] idiot.
-James

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
Would this not be a reason to avoid naming your daughter that? Since names like that are immediately correlated with poor blacks?

This is my whole point. When someone tells you that her name is Shaniqua or the like, you don't exactly envision life in a mansion with a pool. Or anything resembling fun, or good. That can't exactly be a fun way to go about life.

But maybe some of the posters above find fault with this, because, you know, they live in utopia where everyone is equal and it doesn't matter if you're named James Edward Longthorpe III or Shaniqua Bevon Deejarnay.

[/ QUOTE ]So your advice is "hide the fact that you're black ... at least until they actually meet you". Nice. You got right to the root of the problem and solved it with four brain cells to spare.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
He's not completely wrong. The thing is, it's the same reason you don't see many Bubbas in corporate positions. This is due to the fact that they're more likely to come from the lower class, where opportunities are restricted.

[/ QUOTE ]

I typed out something like this, but figured I'd check the thread to see if it'd been posted first. Funny thing is I used the name "Bubba" too. I just don't think white people have many names stereotyped this way.

[ethan]

[ QUOTE ]
No, I think it's because 'Bubba' is a nickname.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not always.

[Jack of Arcades]

You can ignore the fact that it's a social problem if you want. People are prejudiced.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
No, I think it's because 'Bubba' is a nickname.

[/ QUOTE ]Not always.

[/ QUOTE ]Well then it's very, very rare, making the poster's point moot.[ QUOTE ]
You can ignore the fact that it's a social problem if you want. People are prejudiced.

[/ QUOTE ]Who's ignoring? I'm just saying trying to hide your race is a stupid solution.

[Jack of Arcades]

It's not trying to hide your race. Very common black names are accepted - Tyrone, Jerome, Ebony, etc.

Weird names aren't accepted.

[Matty]

Ten dollars says those studies cited earlier in this thread show no difference between what you determine to be normal vs. abnormal black names. Also, your and istewart's list of abnormal black names are pretty ridiculous and sound like you got them off of Mad TV.

Anyone with the preposterous names you two are tossing around probably has a few hundred more pressing issues than how their name would be percieved on a resume. It is only in very rare circumstances that a person's name becomes their defining (or even a prominent) feature.

Like, for example, when it perturbs some kid on an internet forum.

[Jack of Arcades]

Please. I live in southern Louisiana, one of the most densely black areas in the nation. I know my fair share of ridiculous black names because I have classes with these people.

[ QUOTE ]
Anyone with the preposterous names you two are tossing around probably has a few hundred more pressing issues than how their name would be percieved on a resume.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you for proving our point, you just did exactly what Stewart and I have been saying this whole thread.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
Thank you for proving our point, you just did exactly what Stewart and I have been saying this whole thread.

[/ QUOTE ]Gosh, didn't see that one coming.

As the thread has progressed, he's gotten more ridiculous with his names. It started out as anything that ends in "qua".

And for the last time- I'm not arguing with your [censored] point that black names carry stigmas with them. I refuse to go in circles with you. But the fact that he seems to think the tragic things in life (like deformed babies and racism) are the funniest shows me he's a disgusting little puke of a human being.

[Jack of Arcades]

Please list every single ridiculous name listed in this thread by either Stewart or me.

[Matty]

Shaniqua Bevon Deejarnay.

[Vince Young]

Papiqua.

[Jack of Arcades]

Shaniqua and Papiqua both end -iqua, no?

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
Shaniqua and Papiqua both end -iqua, no?

[/ QUOTE ]You've got to be [censored] kidding me.

[Jack of Arcades]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Thank you for proving our point, you just did exactly what Stewart and I have been saying this whole thread.

[/ QUOTE ]Gosh, didn't see that one coming.

As the thread has progressed, he's gotten more ridiculous with his names. It started out as anything that ends in "qua".

And for the last time- I'm not arguing with your [censored] point that black names carry stigmas with them. I refuse to go in circles with you. But the fact that he seems to think the tragic things in life (like deformed babies and racism) are the funniest shows me he's a disgusting little puke of a human being.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry your reading comprehension skills are lacking. I listed no names at all, and Stewart listed three. Yet we're tossing around preposterous names.

I also have not argued black names carry social stigmas, yet that weird and outlandish names do.

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry your reading comprehension skills are lacking. I listed no names at all, and Stewart listed three. Yet we're tossing around preposterous names.

[/ QUOTE ]Okay, he's tossing out names that are increasingly preposterous to cover his ass, and you're agreeing with him. That better?[ QUOTE ]
I also have not argued black names carry social stigmas, yet that weird and outlandish names do.

[/ QUOTE ]The studies cited by other posters have proven that black names carry social stigmas- not just the ones that you and istewart deem to be outlandish.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
This morning I was channel surfing and I stopped at Maury's show for about 5 seconds which was just long enough for Maury to ask a child about 8 or 9 years old "But isn't that just another term for an orgy?"

I quickly flipped the channel in disgust as I managed to reaffirm the validity of my misanthropy once again.

[/ QUOTE ]

This reminds me of the scene in Wild At Heart where Lula and Sailor are on the road, and Lula is trying to find something on the radio, and she just keeps hearing snippets like "--they found he had eaten his dog," "--the 7 yr old had lit his teacher on fire," and "--the river is overflowing with corpses," so she has to jump out of the car in revulsion.

Then she meets Bobby Peru, who probably made all fo that seem like bunnies and puppies and a happy talking flower.

[A_C_Slater]

Tommorrow on Maury Povitch.

The Topic is...... " 7th Graders Who Trade Sex For Crack ." /images/graemlins/tongue.gif /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[Jack of Arcades]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, he's tossing out names that are increasingly preposterous to cover his ass, and you're agreeing with him. That better?

[/ QUOTE ]

He's really done no such thing.

[ QUOTE ]
The studies cited by other posters have proven that black names carry social stigmas- not just the ones that you and istewart deem to be outlandish.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right. Yet I haven't made that point. So how can you

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not arguing with your [censored] point that black names carry stigmas with them.

[/ QUOTE ]

[Matty]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Okay, he's tossing out names that are increasingly preposterous to cover his ass, and you're agreeing with him. That better?

[/ QUOTE ]

He's really done no such thing.

[/ QUOTE ]Bullshit. He went from "all names that end in 'qua'"- to the more specific and ridiculous names of "Papiqua" and "Shaniqua Bevon Deejarnay".

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The studies cited by other posters have proven that black names carry social stigmas- not just the ones that you and istewart deem to be outlandish.

[/ QUOTE ]

Right. Yet I haven't made that point. So how can you

[ QUOTE ]
I'm not arguing with your [censored] point that black names carry stigmas with them.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]So I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you're trying to correct me? You have absolutely no evidence that names ending in "qua" are more discriminated against than other names that can be identified as black.

[Jack of Arcades]

[ QUOTE ]
Bullshit. He went from "all names that end in 'qua'"- to the more specific and ridiculous names of "Papiqua" and "Shaniqua Bevon Deejarnay".

[/ QUOTE ]

expand your vocabulary (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=example)

[BreakEvenPlayer]

Istewart is racist. End of thread.

[Matty]

So, since Michael Jackson is ridiculous, and he is an example of a male, all males must be just as ridiculous as Michael Jackson by your logic- correct?

[Jack of Arcades]

[ QUOTE ]
So I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and you're trying to correct me?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. Because I'm not just talking about black names.

[ QUOTE ]
You have absolutely no evidence that names ending in "qua" are more discriminated against than other names that can be identified as black.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right. I don't. Maybe it's because where I live "Tyrone" is almost as common as "Jacob," and it isn't seen as something outlandish. This might be different elsewhere.

[Jack of Arcades]

Please come up with an example of a name that ends in -qua that isn't ridiculous.

[Matty]

Shaniqua.

Now you find me someone named "Papiqua" who isn't a Native American from the 1800's.

[Soul Daddy]

[ QUOTE ]
Istewart is racist. End of thread.

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't even know if that's the case. He's just a troll with a high post count. He takes the stance that will immediately fire most of us up and runs with it. And we all take the bait every time.

[Kenrick]

If you're invited to go on Maury Povich, and the shoe fits, then you get to wear it. I have no idea why anyone would feel sorry for these people. They KNOW they're screwups, and then they go on there anyway. Maury, as dumb as the show is, is merely being honest by showing what some people are made of and act like.

[B00T]

[ QUOTE ]
This reminded me of a study I saw 5-10 years ago where a bunch of resumes were sent out with "white" names, and copies were sent out with "black" names. The "white" ones were much more successful in getting a response.

fwiw.


[/ QUOTE ]

20/20 did a special on this maybe in Oct-Nov last year as well. It was something ridiculous like out of the resumes that got callbacks, the "exotic name" counterparts only got 22% of the calls.

[Kenrick]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This reminded me of a study I saw 5-10 years ago where a bunch of resumes were sent out with "white" names, and copies were sent out with "black" names. The "white" ones were much more successful in getting a response.

fwiw.


[/ QUOTE ]

20/20 did a special on this maybe in Oct-Nov last year as well. It was something ridiculous like out of the resumes that got callbacks, the "exotic name" counterparts only got 22% of the calls.

[/ QUOTE ]

No surprise there. People who do the hiring often play it as safe as they can to avoid pissing off the boss. They'd rather hire someone mediocre than take a minor chance on someone who might be an incredible asset.

Things like this also help show why IStewart is probably not the racist BreakEvenPlayer might have someone believe. It's along the lines of saying there is no truth to profiling by law enforcement. It's all probability and percentages. "Do you see why?" (har har.)

If you have an uncommon and strange name, or even worse a name that is now associated with a stereotype due to television (Shaniqua), you are at a disadvantage in most instances. Like it or not, fair or not, that's reality. If someone bases a hiring off of something like this, it may mean they are dumb, but it doesn't mean they are racist.

[emonrad87]

If you have a name like Shaniqua, you just have to get Kanye West's Workout plan tape. Then you can marry an NBA player and shop everyday on Rodeo Drive. It's quite simple really.

[IronDragon1]

[ QUOTE ]
If you have a name like Shaniqua, you just have to get Kanye West's Workout plan tape. Then you can marry an NBA player and shop everyday on Rodeo Drive. It's quite simple really.

[/ QUOTE ]

And you won't even have to [censored] with Ray Ray's broke ass no more.