AK SUITED & AK OFFSUIT

[TEKEE]

PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW TO PLAY THESE STARTING HANDS FROM VARIOUS POSITIONS.

[TwoShedsJackson]

BET AND/OR RAISE. FOLD ON THE TURN OCCASIONALLY.

[JoshuaD]

RAISE. 3-BET. CAP SOMETIMES.

[AngryCola]

THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[jimdmcevoy]

LOL

[Hermlord]

FOLD PREFLOP. IF YOUR COMPETITION IS PARTICULARLY BAD, FOLD PRE-PREFLOP. IF YOU HAVE A FREE PLAY FROM THE BIG BLIND, FOLD PREFLOP.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW TO PLAY THESE STARTING HANDS FROM VARIOUS POSITIONS.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice third post!

[stabn]

Raise and fold to a 3 bet.

[Edge34]

JUMP AROUND AND LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. ESPECIALLY LIVE. MOVE ALL-IN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. EVEN IN LIMIT.

[lucas9000]

[ QUOTE ]
THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[/ QUOTE ]

eagle.

[jaxUp]

[ QUOTE ]
JUMP AROUND AND LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. ESPECIALLY LIVE. MOVE ALL-IN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. EVEN IN LIMIT.

[/ QUOTE ]

ESPECIALLY IN LIMIT.

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
JUMP AROUND AND LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. ESPECIALLY LIVE. MOVE ALL-IN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. EVEN IN LIMIT.

[/ QUOTE ]

ESPECIALLY IN LIMIT.

[/ QUOTE ]

NI HAN.

[asofel]

DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW TO PLAY THESE STARTING HANDS FROM VARIOUS POSITIONS.

[/ QUOTE ]

IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHICH VARIOUS POSITIONS ARE YOUR FAVORITES...

<font color="white">RAISE FROM DOGGIE
FOLD FROM MISSIONARY
CHECK FROM RIDE EM COWGIRL</font>

[k_squared]

-T

A word of advice... these sorts of vague questions will only find you at the end of a brutal (yet funny) string of jokes. It is too vague to really address in a meaningful way. You need to provide a better picture of the situation before anyone will offer much meaningful advice. Poker is a complicated game, and as such there is no easy answer about how to play most hands. Further, most of the meaningful conversation occurs around how to play a hand AFTER the flop... So, try posting some hands in which you have played AK.

oh, and All-in is the move /images/graemlins/wink.gif

-k_squared

[emonrad87]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW TO PLAY THESE STARTING HANDS FROM VARIOUS POSITIONS.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice third post!

[/ QUOTE ]


Actually, this was his first post /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dear God!@ How did you do that? How did you get that in ahead as I was typing?

[Nottom]

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKER, BUT I KNOW THAT AK OFFSUIT CAN MAKE TWICE AS MANY FLUSHES SO IT MUST BE BETTER.

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
-T

A word of advice... these sorts of vague questions will only find you at the end of a brutal (yet funny) string of jokes. It is too vague to really address in a meaningful way. You need to provide a better picture of the situation before anyone will offer much meaningful advice. Poker is a complicated game, and as such there is no easy answer about how to play most hands. Further, most of the meaningful conversation occurs around how to play a hand AFTER the flop... So, try posting some hands in which you have played AK.

oh, and All-in is the move /images/graemlins/wink.gif

-k_squared

[/ QUOTE ]

YOU'RE NO FUN

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
oh, and All-in is the move /images/graemlins/wink.gif

-k_squared

[/ QUOTE ]

Regardless of position. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ucfryan]

[ QUOTE ]
PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW TO PLAY THESE STARTING HANDS FROM VARIOUS POSITIONS.

[/ QUOTE ]

SLOWPLAY THEM TILL THE RIVER THEN HIT EVERYONE UP WITH A CHECKRAISE.

[ucfryan]

[ QUOTE ]
THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[/ QUOTE ]

IM DYING OF LAUGHTER.

[felson]

Welcome to the forum.

[mostsmooth]

IF IT WERE ME, ID RAISE AND CAP EVERY ROUND AND THEN FOLD ON THE RIVER

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dear God!@ How did you do that? How did you get that in ahead as I was typing?

[/ QUOTE ]

shania

[jakethebake]

His second post. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&amp;Board=probability&amp;Number=1839921 &amp;Forum=,All_Forums,&amp;Words=&amp;Searchpage=0&amp;Limit=25&amp;M ain=1839921&amp;Search=true&amp;where=&amp;Name=29170&amp;daterang e=&amp;newerval=&amp;newertype=&amp;olderval=&amp;oldertype=&amp;bodyp rev=#Post1839921)

[gr8vertical]

[ QUOTE ]
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKER, BUT I KNOW THAT AK OFFSUIT CAN MAKE TWICE AS MANY FLUSHES SO IT MUST BE BETTER.

[/ QUOTE ]


Pure brilliance.
This thread is awesome

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
IF IT WERE ME, ID RAISE AND CAP EVERY ROUND AND THEN FOLD ON THE RIVER

[/ QUOTE ]
"BUT THATS JUST ME, MR VEGAS" (BONUS POINTS FOR THE FIRST TO GUESS WHAT MOVIE THIS LINE IS FROM)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
IF IT WERE ME, ID RAISE AND CAP EVERY ROUND AND THEN FOLD ON THE RIVER

[/ QUOTE ]
"BUT THATS JUST ME, MR VEGAS" (BONUS POINTS FOR THE FIRST TO GUESS WHAT MOVIE THIS LINE IS FROM)

[/ QUOTE ]
stripes

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]

stripes

[/ QUOTE ]
the best part of the movie, no?
whadda ya got?
i got a pair of fours and an ace
and an 7 and 8, if you had 4 fours, you woulda won

[JinX11]

[ QUOTE ]
DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easily POTD.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

stripes

[/ QUOTE ]
the best part of the movie, no?
whadda ya got?
i got a pair of fours and an ace
and an 7 and 8, if you had 4 fours, you woulda won

[/ QUOTE ]

Best line: "There was one?"

[mostsmooth]

agreed, i use that a lot

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
agreed, i use that a lot

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. But usually people just give me this blank look.

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
agreed, i use that a lot

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. But usually people just give me this blank look.

[/ QUOTE ]
me too

[AngryCola]

lol

We're all such jerks.

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
JUMP AROUND AND LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. ESPECIALLY LIVE. MOVE ALL-IN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. EVEN IN LIMIT.

[/ QUOTE ]

ESPECIALLY IN LIMIT.

[/ QUOTE ]

IS THERE ANY OTHER MOVE?

[AngryCola]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
agreed, i use that a lot

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. But usually people just give me this blank look.

[/ QUOTE ]
me too

[/ QUOTE ]

I think we've made a love connection people!

[jimdmcevoy]

BUMP

[calmasahinducow]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easily POTD.

[/ QUOTE ]

EASILY POST OF THE YEAR.

[jonnyb]

according to this thread if you're playing online, apparently you should type something in the chat-doesn't matter what it is-JUST MAKE SURE ITS ALL CAPS.

[deacsoft]

WOOT FOR ALL CAPS!

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[/ QUOTE ]

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
DOGGY STYLE: TABLE THE HANDS ON GIRLS ASS WITH A FIRM HAND. MAKE JOKE ABOUT GIVING HER SOMETHING THAT RHYMES WITH 'BIG SLICK'

MISSIONARY: DON'T GET BOARD. SOMETIMES YOU'LL GET SUCKED OUT ON, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT. THROW IN DIRTY NAMES FOR SPICE.

COWGIRL: YOU'RE A DOG TO COWBOYS SO BE THANKFUL THE GIRL'S RIDING YOU AND NOT THEM.

[/ QUOTE ]

Easily POTD.

[/ QUOTE ]

EASILY POST OF THE YEAR.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would like to accept this nomination in memory of the days when said positions were commonplace and not something I dreamt of while typing on a message board.

[B00T]

[ QUOTE ]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have read this about 8 times now checking new posts and I still laugh everytime I see it.

Most of Angry's posts use to annoy me and I couldnt tolerate him, but he won me over now.

[DemonDeac]

fold preflop

[TwoShedsJackson]

[ QUOTE ]
fold preflop

[/ QUOTE ]

SURELY YOU MEANT 'FOLD PREFLOP'??

[JinX11]

I can't get enough of this thread....SOMEONE SHOULD BUMP THIS THREAD PERIODICALLY!!!

[Spladle Master]

The caps continue here. (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&amp;Number=1840077&amp;page=0&amp;view=c ollapsed&amp;sb=5&amp;o=14&amp;vc=1)

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
fold preflop

[/ QUOTE ]

SURELY YOU MEANT 'FOLD PREFLOP'??

[/ QUOTE ]

BRILLIANT!

[Trainwreck]

You said starting, so PF, raise and call a re-raise from any position, end of story, if already 2 or 3 bets to you, it depends... ^is just a generalization.

&gt;TW&lt;


YMMV greatly!

[kyro]

[ QUOTE ]
You said starting, so PF, raise and call a re-raise from any position, end of story, if already 2 or 3 bets to you, it depends... ^is just a generalization.

&gt;TW&lt;


YMMV greatly!

[/ QUOTE ]

WTF?

[ThisHo]

OK... BUMP!

This is the funniest thread I've read on this site...

I think I'm going to be fired later today though...

ThisHo

[JinX11]

lol - you need to sift through the Archives then...and hang out in OOT regularly. Lots o laughs to be had here...but this thread is a classic.

[FrankLu99]

fold AKs
only play AKo because you can make 2 different flushies.

[Klepton]

this is the first time in leterally years that i'm crying from laughing...and i haven't stopped

i called my brother on the phone to read this post

i officially love angrycola

[ggbman]

Play it likes it AA preflop and try to hit the flop.

[asofel]

Play it likes it AA preflop and try to hit the flop.
__________V--^_____________

[Spekkio]

It depends.

It depends.

It depends.

There is no "correct" way to play any two cards. It depends on your opponents, who is sitting behind you, who is sitting in front of you, how many people called, how many raised, etc. etc.

[ErrantNight]

Downward facing dog: Be relentless. Punish your opponent with aggressive play. That's what this is all about.

Doggie: Try going for the check raise. If she's not wet enough, a straight raise may be uncomfortable, particularly if you're angled upwards.

Missionary: Get a little tricky. Just call when normally you'd get a little wild. When you think you're too familiar with the opposition, throw in a limp re-raise or something. She'll never see it coming.

Reverse Cowgirl: Proceed cautiously. You're likely dominated.

Anal: Raise with caution. If you're limping, you're not going to get anywhere, but if you're too aggressive you might find yourself in deep trouble.

69: Raise aggressively. It lessens the strain on the neck.

[ErrantNight]

shoulda known someone beat me to it.

[AngryCola]

[ QUOTE ]
shoulda known someone beat me to it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Only by about a week. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Civiliste]

GOTTA FOLD FROM THE BUTTON. UTG, DEFINITELY ALL-IN EVERY TIME. PUSH EVERYBODY ELSE OUT AS AGGRESSIVELY AS POSSIBLE. YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT ANY ACTION HERE!

WHEN THEY ALL FOLD, SHOW YOUR RAGS FOR BRAGGING RIGHTS, JUMP ON THE TABLE, AND FLOP AROUND IN THE POT LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER!!

[Civiliste]

PREFLOP:

GOTTA FOLD FROM THE BUTTON.

MIDDLE POSITION: LIMP, ESPECIALLY IF THERE ARE 4 LIMPERS ALREADY IN.

UTG, DEFINITELY ALL-IN EVERY TIME (ESPECIALLY IN *LIMIT*). PUSH EVERYBODY ELSE OUT AS AGGRESSIVELY AS POSSIBLE. YOU DEFINITELY *DON'T* WANT ANY ACTION HERE!

POSTFLOP:

LATE POSITION: CHECK OR CALL ONE SMALL BET, FOLD IF RAISED.

EARLY POSITION: ALL-IN, WHETHER YOU CATCH ON THE FLOP OR NOT, REGARDLESS OF READS, EVEN AGAINST A COORDINATED BOARD. THEN, IF YOU DON'T CATCH AT LEAST 3 PAIR BY THE TURN, MUCK YOUR ALL-IN HAND, YOU GOT SUCKED OUT! JUMP OUT OF YOUR CHAIR AND BITCH ABOUT BAD BEATS, SUCK OUTS, AND STUPID PLAYERS!!

WHEN THEY ALL FOLD TO YOUR SUPERIOR AGGRESSION, SHOW YOUR RAGS FOR BRAGGING RIGHTS, JUMP ON THE TABLE, AND FLOP AROUND IN THE POT LIKE A FISH OUT OF WATER!!

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

[barongreenback]

[ QUOTE ]
THROW THE CARDS UP IN THE AIR AND RUN AWAY SCREAMING.

[/ QUOTE ]
I ONLY PLAY ONLINE BUT KEEP A PACK HANDY JUST FOR THIS SITUATION.

[B00T]

This deserves a bump, I am sorry. /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

[Mike Cuneo]

bumpity bump bump