40 things to do when ordering a pizza (long) [Archive]

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Reef

03-02-2005, 02:17 AM

40 Things to do when Ordering a Pizza

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

3. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

4. Answer their questions with questions.

5. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

6. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

7. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

8. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

9. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

10. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

11. Change your accent every couple of seconds.

12. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

13. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $15.99; please pull up to the first window."

14. Try to rent the pizza.

15. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

16. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

17. Imitate the order taker's voice and deny doing so if asked.

18. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

19. Ask to see a menu.

20. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

21. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

22. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

23. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

24. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

25. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

26. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

27. Try to talk while drinking something.

28. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

29. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

30. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

31. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

32. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

33. Put them on hold.

34. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

35. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

36. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

37. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

38. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

39. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

40. Order a steamed pizza.

Jack of Arcades

03-02-2005, 02:18 AM

My best friend works in a pizza place. Trust me. None of these are funny.

istewart

03-02-2005, 02:22 AM

This is quite possibly...

Reef

03-02-2005, 02:23 AM

[ QUOTE ]
My best friend works in a pizza place. Trust me. None of these are funny.

[/ QUOTE ]

With alcohol involved, I am inclined to disagree

B00T

03-02-2005, 11:07 AM

wtf does your friend working at a pizza place have to do with this list being funny?

You think you are the only person who has a friend that works/worked in a pizza place?

jaxUp

03-02-2005, 11:09 AM

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 11:09 AM

[ QUOTE ]
wtf does your friend working at a pizza place have to do with this list being funny?

You think you are the only person who has a friend that works/worked in a pizza place?

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course he doesn't, but only one of these things is funny.
The rest are just rude and flat out mean.
How would you like it if some joker was trying to mess with you while you had 6 lines on hold?

Example:
[ QUOTE ]
32. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza

[/ QUOTE ]

Not cool.
Not cool at all.

The funny bit:
[ QUOTE ]
2. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm going to start saying that at the end of every conversation!

Thanks, Reef!

nothumb

03-02-2005, 11:59 AM

I hope you enjoy eating Spit Pizza. Or maybe even Spunk Pizza if someone is feeling frisky. Because if you do this, you probably have.

NT

jakethebake

03-02-2005, 12:08 PM

I laughed out loud at several of these.

Duke

03-02-2005, 12:09 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you enjoy eating Spit Pizza. Or maybe even Spunk Pizza if someone is feeling frisky. Because if you do this, you probably have.

[/ QUOTE ]

Keep it down. People think that they're getting a free drunken laugh by being an ass hole. Let them continue.

~D

B00T

03-02-2005, 12:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Of course he doesn't, but only one of these things is funny.
The rest are just rude and flat out mean.
How would you like it if some joker was trying to mess with you while you had 6 lines on hold?

[/ QUOTE ]

I never commented on if it was funny or not. That wasn't what I was addressing. I was asking the relevance of having an inside track of knowing someone who worked at a pizza place.

He verifies his statement with a "trust me" like none of us know anybody or been there themselves or this is such a bizarre subject that people have no knowledge of.

jaxUp

03-02-2005, 12:14 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you enjoy eating Spit Pizza. Or maybe even Spunk Pizza if someone is feeling frisky. Because if you do this, you probably have.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

I would not try any of these, but am enough of an [censored] that I would convince somebody else to.

Mr_Gordon

03-02-2005, 12:17 PM

I have worked at 2 different pizza places, THIS IS FUNNY. The majority of people that work at a pizza place hate it and would look for anything to take their mind of it and something to laugh at while they tell the other co-workers.

jaxUp

03-02-2005, 12:19 PM

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 12:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I have worked at 2 different pizza places, THIS IS FUNNY. The majority of people that work at a pizza place hate it and would look for anything to take their mind of it and something to laugh at while they tell the other co-workers.

[/ QUOTE ]

I've worked at one, and nobody I worked with would have found this funny. We would be pissed, because we were too busy to deal with this kind of crap.

It can be a very hectic job, and this was certainly the last thing we would have needed. Perhaps you worked at pizza places which had slow business.
Otherwise, I don't understand your comments.

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 12:21 PM

No.

Duke

03-02-2005, 12:24 PM

Things to do when taking parachute lessons.

1. Jump out of the airplane before the instructor can put a parachute on you.

I'm sure you'll all have a good laugh.

Seriously - I have a hard enough time getting a pizza with the correct toppings on it. Why in the hell would anyone want to jeopardize that?

~D

Mr_Gordon

03-02-2005, 12:29 PM

Perhaps you need somewhat of a sense of humor to work in most service oriented industries. I'm guessing you don't have much of one. Anyone who takes working at a pizza place seriously is bound to hate it.

jakethebake

03-02-2005, 12:34 PM

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 12:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps you need somewhat of a sense of humor to work in most service oriented industries. I'm guessing you don't have much of one. Anyone who takes working at a pizza place seriously is bound to hate it.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's not what I said.
Why do you have to make it about "taking something seriously"?
WTF

We had stuff to do, and it's as simple as that.
You know, bosses usually like it when things get done.
Customers complain less when their orders are correct and on time.

How many of these things would get in the way of doing my former job? Almost all of them. That's the thing, people have to get their work done. What? Didn't you?

I'm sorry, but I did not have the time to BS with people on the phone. Did you?

If so, I guess you must have worked at a very slow store, because we barely ever caught our breath.

And most people know I have a pretty good sense of humor.
I have a great sense of humor, but I'm not not a fan of getting messed with while I have stuff to do. Especially if it gets in the way of me getting home before 2 AM.

Shajen

03-02-2005, 12:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps you need somewhat of a sense of humor to work in most service oriented industries. I'm guessing you don't have much of one. Anyone who takes working at a pizza place seriously is bound to hate it.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's not what I said.
Why do you have to make it about "taking something seriously"?
WTF

We had stuff to do, and it's as simple as that.
You know, bosses usually like it when things get done.
Customers complain less when their orders are correct and on time.

How many of these things would get in the way of doing my former job? Almost all of them. That's the thing, people have to get their work done. What? Didn't you?

I'm sorry, but I did not have the time to BS with people on the phone. Did you?

If so, I guess you must have worked at a very slow store, because we barely ever caught our breath.

And most people know I have a pretty good sense of humor.
I have a great sense of humor, but I'm not not a fan of getting messed with while I have stuff to do. Especially if it gets in the way of me getting home before 2 AM.

[/ QUOTE ]

So young, so angry. Damn that rap music.

/images/graemlins/wink.gif

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 12:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
So young, so angry. Damn that rap music.

[/ QUOTE ]

Kill!

Die!

Die!

Oops.. I mean...

How humorous!

Mr_Gordon

03-02-2005, 12:53 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Anyone who takes working at a pizza place seriously is bound to hate it.

[/ QUOTE ]
That's not what I said.
Why do you have to make it about "taking something seriously"?
WTF

We had stuff to do, and it's as simple as that.
You know, bosses usually like it when things get done.
Customers complain less when their orders are correct and on time.

How many of these things would get in the way of doing my former job? Almost all of them. That's the thing, people have to get their work done. What? Didn't you?

[/ QUOTE ]

It seems to me you did take your job seriously, which I can respect and I feel you have to to some degree. That being said I was a driver and didn't answer the phones unless I had to. But the people who did were always in a bad mood and now we know why. The top 40 list had not yet been invented.

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 12:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
That being said I was a driver and didn't answer the phones unless I had to.

[/ QUOTE ]

We had a bad gig at our store.

The drivers had to drive, take the phones, bus the tables, make pizzas, run the counter, wash dishes, and clean the floors.

And you didn't get to go home until the dishes and floor were done. That was no fun when working the last shift of the day, which I usually was.
This obviously was a dine-in place with washable plastic dishes. Trust me when I say there were a lot of them.

The real problem with all of those tasks wasn't the individual responsibilities, but getting behind schedule on all of them. I can't imagine these calls would have helped that situation. When I got home at 3 AM instead of 1:45 AM, I'm a very unhappy person. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Mr_Gordon

03-02-2005, 01:05 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
That being said I was a driver and didn't answer the phones unless I had to.

[/ QUOTE ]

We had a bad gig at our store.

The drivers had to drive, take the phones, bus the tables, make pizzas, run the counter, wash dishes, and clean the floors.

And you didn't get to go home until the dishes and floor were done.
This obviously was a dine-in place with washable plastic dishes. Trust me when I say there were a lot of them.

The real problem with all of those tasks wasn't the individual responsibilities, but getting behind schedule on all of them. I can't imagine these calls would have helped that situation.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now were getting somewhere, I admit that I probably wouldn't want to put up with much B.S. either if I were in those shoes. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

jakethebake

03-02-2005, 01:14 PM

We're talking about a post. The post was funny. If someone actually does this to you, then you can get mad. But this post is funny.

jar

03-02-2005, 01:23 PM

Wow, here I am agreeing with jake. There are all kinds of lists like this floating around the net. They're usually worth a chuckle, but most people would never actually do them.

AngryCola

03-02-2005, 01:31 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, here I am agreeing with jake. There are all kinds of lists like this floating around the net. They're usually worth a chuckle, but most people would never actually do them.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's fine then.

I mean, I laughed at a couple of the entries that I thought would be really mean and rude to do to someone.

So, if we're just looking at it that way, it is somewhat humorous.

There!

Everybody happy now?!?!

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!

03-02-2005, 01:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you enjoy eating Spit Pizza. Or maybe even Spunk Pizza if someone is feeling frisky. Because if you do this, you probably have.

NT

[/ QUOTE ]

I worked at 2 pizza places. Trust me, the normal pizza is almost as bad.

Reef

03-02-2005, 02:53 PM

Russ McGinley

03-02-2005, 03:16 PM

I worked at the Domino's next door to the University of Florida campus, and we were ranked as the busiest Domino's in the world. As a driver, we also had to do everything (deliver, answer phone, clean, work the oven), and we were open until 4am. We get these kinds of calls all the time between 2am-4am the night after a Gator football game, and we usually just tried to get through the call without having to put up with a lot of drunken nonsense. When it was slow, it was kind of funny, but when its busy, I'd usually just hang up if after a few attempts at getting a coherent answer, I failed. They'd never call back anyway. The pizza would not get spit on it because the driver had nothing to do with the phone call unless it just happened to be the driver that answered the call. It's worse for the driver because there are all sorts of things that can happen with drunken morons and pizza delivery.

That being said, I thought the list was funny. If I were working and it was a busy night I'd think differently.