Dominic
02-25-2005, 11:28 PM
I know what I'm talking about...because I have actually SEEN every single Best Picture winner...yes, even the first, silent one - "Wings." (not bad)
In a previous post I immediately coughed up "Titanic" as my pick...but then I felt I should go down the list one more time to see if I was forgetting anything...while I think it's obvious that some Best Picture winners are merely unmemorable (Driving Miss Daisy), undeserving (Ordinary People), or just plain bad (The Greatest Show on Earth), only ONE movie can lay claim to be the worst ever Best Picture winner - and here are my nominees:
Cavalcade (1933) - boring, pretentious clap trap. Maybe the worst thing Noel Coward ever wrote.
The Life of Emile Zola (1937) - Back in the thirites, Hollywood was in love with the important biopic and this was probably one of the worst, although "The Story of Louis Pasteur" is close. The only interesting thing about the writer Zola's life was his fight for for the underdog in the famous Dreyfus case. Not enough to save this movie, though.
Gone With the Wind (1939) - There, I said it. This movie stinks. It's silly, racist and you want to slap the heroine repeatedly with a big bologna. But that's not all: in what was quite possibly the best single year in film history -
Beau Guest
Dark Victory
Destry Rides Again
The Four Feathers
Goodbye Mr. Chips
Gunga Din
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Ninotchka
Love Affair
Of Mice and Men
Intermezzo
Only Angels Have Wings
The Roaring Twenties
Stage Coach
The Women
Wuthering Heights
The Wizard of Oz
and what is generally considered by critics to be one of the 2 or 3 best films ever made - The Rules of the Game,
THIS long-ass, boring, movie with a plot straight out of General Hospital (hero rapes heroine, causing her to fall in love with him) wins an award for BEST FREAKIN' PICTURE???
I don't think so. Next.
Gentleman's Agreement (1947) - Stagy, wooden and self-important. Other than that the movie is completely unmemorable.
The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) - Wow. I think we may have a winner. This is a truly horrible movie. The others on this list have a little something going for it, but this one....well, the elephants are cool and the circus chicks are pretty hot.
Around the World in 80 Days (1956) Boring me silly is not necessarily a crime, but boring me silly for over three hours most defintely is.
My Fair Lady (1964) - One of those big, Hollywood musicals. Only this one is crap. From Rex Harrison's dirty-old-man performance to Audrey Hepburn's obnoxious attempt at a cockney accent, this film is a sorry mess. I mean, how in the world do you make AUDREY HEPBURN unwatchable??
Oliver (1968) - My parents made me watch this movie when I was growing up every damn year it came on television. I hate this $@#&! movie. I wish it would disappear from our collective consciousness so we would never have to utter it's name again. ...Okay, it's personal.
...From 1968 until 1996, there were certainly some undeserving Best Picture Winners ("Patton," "Kramer vs. Kramer," "Ordinary People," "Driving Miss Daisy," "The Last Emperor," "Forest Gump," but none I would call a truly bad film...
The English Patient (1996) - The date movie from hell. Oh my god, what a load a tripe this movie is. And I LOVE artsy-fartsy movies! Hell, I loved this filmmaker's next film - "The Talented Mr. Ripley." But dear lord, can anyone tell me what this mess was about? It looked good, though.
Titanic (1997) - What in heaven's name was James Cameron thinking when he dreamed up that Harlequin Romance novel of a plot? What, the actualy story of some of the real people on the actual Titanic wasn't dramatic enough for you? Hey, I know! Let's get Kate Winslet to fall in love with a 12 yr. old boy (wait, you mean that was Leo? Truly? Huh, what do you know), get Billy Zane to put on a Snidely Whiplash mustache and just generally be nasty, and put the auidence through 3 FREAKIN' HOURS of tedium until we show 'em what they really came for - the sinking. Which, to tell the truth, was spectacular. The rest of it? Meh.
A Beautiful Mind (2001) - Nothing really wrong with this movie, but nothing really great about it either. Except maybe Jennifer Connoly's cleavage. Plus, it gets a demerit for being directed by Opie.
And at last...my pick for the VERY WORST BEST PICTURE WINNER OF ALL TIME is....
<drumroll>
Cimarron (1930) - I know, not one of you has ever seen it. Hell, I'm sure most of you have never even heard of it. Thre's a very good reason for that - it is truly a bad film. Woodenly acted, directed by someone who couldn't direct traffic, much less a movie, with a washed-out cinematography that makes one think of all things brown - this movie is just plain bad.
There, that's the REAL Worst Best Picture winner of all time!
Now...how about a BEST Best picture Winner thread?
In a previous post I immediately coughed up "Titanic" as my pick...but then I felt I should go down the list one more time to see if I was forgetting anything...while I think it's obvious that some Best Picture winners are merely unmemorable (Driving Miss Daisy), undeserving (Ordinary People), or just plain bad (The Greatest Show on Earth), only ONE movie can lay claim to be the worst ever Best Picture winner - and here are my nominees:
Cavalcade (1933) - boring, pretentious clap trap. Maybe the worst thing Noel Coward ever wrote.
The Life of Emile Zola (1937) - Back in the thirites, Hollywood was in love with the important biopic and this was probably one of the worst, although "The Story of Louis Pasteur" is close. The only interesting thing about the writer Zola's life was his fight for for the underdog in the famous Dreyfus case. Not enough to save this movie, though.
Gone With the Wind (1939) - There, I said it. This movie stinks. It's silly, racist and you want to slap the heroine repeatedly with a big bologna. But that's not all: in what was quite possibly the best single year in film history -
Beau Guest
Dark Victory
Destry Rides Again
The Four Feathers
Goodbye Mr. Chips
Gunga Din
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Ninotchka
Love Affair
Of Mice and Men
Intermezzo
Only Angels Have Wings
The Roaring Twenties
Stage Coach
The Women
Wuthering Heights
The Wizard of Oz
and what is generally considered by critics to be one of the 2 or 3 best films ever made - The Rules of the Game,
THIS long-ass, boring, movie with a plot straight out of General Hospital (hero rapes heroine, causing her to fall in love with him) wins an award for BEST FREAKIN' PICTURE???
I don't think so. Next.
Gentleman's Agreement (1947) - Stagy, wooden and self-important. Other than that the movie is completely unmemorable.
The Greatest Show on Earth (1952) - Wow. I think we may have a winner. This is a truly horrible movie. The others on this list have a little something going for it, but this one....well, the elephants are cool and the circus chicks are pretty hot.
Around the World in 80 Days (1956) Boring me silly is not necessarily a crime, but boring me silly for over three hours most defintely is.
My Fair Lady (1964) - One of those big, Hollywood musicals. Only this one is crap. From Rex Harrison's dirty-old-man performance to Audrey Hepburn's obnoxious attempt at a cockney accent, this film is a sorry mess. I mean, how in the world do you make AUDREY HEPBURN unwatchable??
Oliver (1968) - My parents made me watch this movie when I was growing up every damn year it came on television. I hate this $@#&! movie. I wish it would disappear from our collective consciousness so we would never have to utter it's name again. ...Okay, it's personal.
...From 1968 until 1996, there were certainly some undeserving Best Picture Winners ("Patton," "Kramer vs. Kramer," "Ordinary People," "Driving Miss Daisy," "The Last Emperor," "Forest Gump," but none I would call a truly bad film...
The English Patient (1996) - The date movie from hell. Oh my god, what a load a tripe this movie is. And I LOVE artsy-fartsy movies! Hell, I loved this filmmaker's next film - "The Talented Mr. Ripley." But dear lord, can anyone tell me what this mess was about? It looked good, though.
Titanic (1997) - What in heaven's name was James Cameron thinking when he dreamed up that Harlequin Romance novel of a plot? What, the actualy story of some of the real people on the actual Titanic wasn't dramatic enough for you? Hey, I know! Let's get Kate Winslet to fall in love with a 12 yr. old boy (wait, you mean that was Leo? Truly? Huh, what do you know), get Billy Zane to put on a Snidely Whiplash mustache and just generally be nasty, and put the auidence through 3 FREAKIN' HOURS of tedium until we show 'em what they really came for - the sinking. Which, to tell the truth, was spectacular. The rest of it? Meh.
A Beautiful Mind (2001) - Nothing really wrong with this movie, but nothing really great about it either. Except maybe Jennifer Connoly's cleavage. Plus, it gets a demerit for being directed by Opie.
And at last...my pick for the VERY WORST BEST PICTURE WINNER OF ALL TIME is....
<drumroll>
Cimarron (1930) - I know, not one of you has ever seen it. Hell, I'm sure most of you have never even heard of it. Thre's a very good reason for that - it is truly a bad film. Woodenly acted, directed by someone who couldn't direct traffic, much less a movie, with a washed-out cinematography that makes one think of all things brown - this movie is just plain bad.
There, that's the REAL Worst Best Picture winner of all time!
Now...how about a BEST Best picture Winner thread?