Revealing all my secrets:

[bholdr]

First a little background: I'm 25, manage an apartment building, which pays my rent and covers my bills and then a little bit more. I have a painting business that i rarely put any effort into anymore due to a bad back. I play poker and bonus/casino whore to the tune of about 1-1.5k/month, putting in between 8 and 15 hrs a week while i surf the web, take care of company bussiness, etc. I intend to go back to school in a few months, when i've saved a little and gotten settled in to my new position.

so.... I'm dating a new girl and the other night she asked me what i do in my spare time... to which i replied (truthfully but not completly) 'oh you know, drink, shoot pool and play disc golf, ski, hang with my freinds, the usual...' ommiting any refrence to poker playing for fun and profit (mostly profit these days, i'm sorry to say).

Later in the night, TILT comes on the TV, and she mentions that she LOVES poker- she plays with freinds once a week or so, and watches it on TV all the time, appearently. of course she claims to be 'pretty good'- i've never known anyone that didn't.

hmmm... i pretend that i'm all innocent and stuff, saying something to the effect of: 'well it is all the rage right now... yeah, i like to play with my friends a little... I always lose'(heh heh)

and she goes 'oh you should play with us sometime! it's fun' (it's like a 10$ buy in NL game with a bunch of 19-22 year old art students- yechh). no way i'm doing that, but i did consider telling her that i play online 'a bit'. I'm not nuts about this girl or anything, though i do see some potential there. Here's my questions:

for the 5-10% of you with GFs (sry, kidding), do they know you're poker junkies? how did they react when they found out? how did you let them know? has anybody had poker ruin a relationship? my previous... freind... didn't give a chit about what i did without her, but this one may be a little more serious... Of course if she ever asks directly i'll tell her everything, as i am hopelessly honest with the ladies(i am working on this, but no luck so far).

any info, advice, or insight would be appreiciated.

[Alobar]

well youve kinda effed yourself over already. I mean youve basically acted like you dont play poker, yet she does and loves it, and I think you missed a great chance to "connect" with her about that.

If I were you I'd just tell the ladies you play poker, its not that big a deal since you have a "real" job. My advice would be completely different tho if you played poker for a living and it was your sole source of income. A different approach is required in that case.

Anyway, just go school her and her little art friends and tell her you really like to play poker.

[Edge34]

Misplayed on one street:

When she mentioned how much she enjoys poker, you had the perfect opening to be up front about it. She enjoys it, you enjoy it. I mean, you don't need to go into a whole spiel about "I'm at a winrate of 2.03 BB/hr right now, but i think my PFR's a little high still..." and all that, but come on.

Nothing really wrong with "playing innocent" or whatever, but there's apparently nothing bad that can come of you telling her about your little side income. Hell, if its a hobby, that's one of the things that you two share. The girl I'm seeing right now (we met in a class together last semester) mentioned to me one day that she's into poker and I just used that as another conversation point - how its a fun game, cool to see on TV, and I do play. The more things in common, the better - why hide it?

EDIT TO ADD: I just realized this was my 1000th post. DAMMIT...I wanted it to be on something else, but hey, my two favorite hobbies - poker and women. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[BluffTHIS!]

Well you have lied and the longer you go without correcting this the more likely she is to believe you have lied about other aspects of your life and sour the relationship. I would take the very next opportunity while out to dinner to fess up and tell her the reason you did not do so earlier was that you were afraid she would consider you a degenerate gambler when you are in fact a winning online player who makes a nice supplemental income with such activity. Of course a side benefit of such an admission should be opportunities for headsup no-limit strip poker matches with her /images/graemlins/grin.gif .

[nolanfan34]

[ QUOTE ]
well youve kinda effed yourself over already. I mean youve basically acted like you dont play poker, yet she does and loves it, and I think you missed a great chance to "connect" with her about that.

If I were you I'd just tell the ladies you play poker, its not that big a deal since you have a "real" job. My advice would be completely different tho if you played poker for a living and it was your sole source of income. A different approach is required in that case.

Anyway, just go school her and her little art friends and tell her you really like to play poker.

[/ QUOTE ]

What he said. I can't bring myself to do the quote only post.

Not just telling her up front is a mistake anyway. That's a ticket to get into a relationship where you're going to have problems later when you get pissed that you have to hide your poker playing. Be up front!

[underaged]

My girlfriend plays poker. She doesn't play B&M with me, but she does cruise around house games. She cleans up too. She's beaten me heads up a couple of times.

[peachy]

well...my whatever he is...is a poker addict, and i complained a lil at first, but hes stubborn and i knew nothing i could say would make him give it up (nor would i ever ask him too heheh id just whine! /images/graemlins/tongue.gif) Anyways, he got me playing poker and how I play more than him, but Im also a pretty open minded girl who will try anything once, so I guess u just gotta feel out what kinda girl she is. Bottom line, if she likes u at all what u do in ur spare time wont "hurt" her perception of u and u might actually get to enjoy something with her that u have in common. Personally, I go for guys that do a variety of activities/hobbies and sometimes they differ from all the ones I do, which is TOTALLY great b/c then I get to learn new stuff and we have even more things to do together - and then its happily ever after!! YAY!! well...one day....

[bholdr]

[ QUOTE ]
you don't need to go into a whole spiel about "I'm at a winrate of 2.03 BB/hr right now, but i think my PFR's a little high still..." and all that, but come on.

[/ QUOTE ] lol. /images/graemlins/grin.gif my PFR is perfect.


thanks edge, alobar. i see that i should've mentioned that i play 'more than a bit', but i was afraid of all of the negitive associations people have with poker playing/ gambling.

i see that i've been a little weak/tight here. telling her the next time it comes up looks more and more +EV. (love the poker metaphors) I'm sure she'll understand that my reluctance was based on those perceprions.

on the other hand, though, i don't want the relationship to involve poker. it's nice not to talk about it, sometimes, as i spend god-knows how many hours posting and debating my play here and with (non-online) freinds.

i think i'm just being neurotic. a new girl always does that to me.

[bholdr]

I thought we'd chased you all off. that explains the poodle avatar. /images/graemlins/grin.gif. thanks for the response.

[peachy]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought we'd chased you all off. that explains the poodle avatar. /images/graemlins/grin.gif. thanks for the response.

[/ QUOTE ]

hahah chased me off how??? and OMG THATS NO POODLE!!! its UGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shame on u!!

[Alobar]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I thought we'd chased you all off. that explains the poodle avatar. /images/graemlins/grin.gif. thanks for the response.

[/ QUOTE ]

hahah chased me off how??? and OMG THATS NO POODLE!!! its UGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shame on u!!

[/ QUOTE ]

see, thats why dogs with clothes on = lame.

[Edge34]

Any girl worth being neurotic over will give you plenty of things to worry about besides your poker playing. Trust me, I'm in the same ship...

(BTW, my girl doesn't really play, she likes to watch mostly, and apparently her dad's a home-game guru. Would it be wrong to hustle a dad? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif)

[bholdr]

[ QUOTE ]
Well you have lied and the longer you go without correcting this the more likely she is to believe you have lied about other aspects of your life and sour the relationship

[/ QUOTE ]

well, my only lie was by ommission- i do get hosed a bit in my buddy's little no-fold em 10$ home games. tx though.

...and i don't need to beat her heads up to get her to strip for me. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[bholdr]

i only looked at for a sec. i know it's not a poodle. sry. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

do a search here on 'jennicide'. trust me.

[rusellmj]

Why the hell would you lie about playing poker? This is like when guys lie to chicks about watching porn. You're a single guy with no attachments. What the f^ck do you care what she thinks? You said yourself you're not that into her. Too late now though. Good luck not looking like a douche when she finds out how much you play.

Russ

[peachy]

what does she have to do with me??

we r differnet...i admit to being a materialist money hungry b-word

[bholdr]

Thanks everybody. i'll be telling her the next time it comes up. i geuss a little encouragment is all i was looking for.

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]
(BTW, my girl doesn't really play, she likes to watch mostly, and apparently her dad's a home-game guru. Would it be wrong to hustle a dad? /images/graemlins/tongue.gif)

[/ QUOTE ]

Take him for every cent you can.

Russ

[bholdr]

lol! fair enough!

[peachy]

im still lost though...explain...b/w me and her and y u thought i was chased away

[bholdr]

well it was just a jab at the predominatly male demographic here in OOT (and the rest of 2+2 as well, i geuss). just a joke, don't read too much into it.

i didn't mean you... sry for confusion.

[bholdr]

you are correct, of course. though everything i said WAS true... i've been getting hosed in my buddies 10$ no fold em home game, where they scowl at me everytime i bet more than half the pot...

[ QUOTE ]
Good luck not looking like a douche when she finds out how much you play.

[/ QUOTE ]

HA! i don't need that to make me look like a douche! actually, i think she'll understand that i was afraid of all the negitive associations that come with serious poker playing/gambling (how the heck do i explain casino whoring? hey, baby, your man''s a big time whore for bonus! doesn't that turn you on?).

[Edge34]

[ QUOTE ]
y(how the heck do i explain casino whoring? hey, baby, your man''s a big time whore for bonus! doesn't that turn you on?).

[/ QUOTE ]

This is precisely the line I'd take. Then again, its my "different" sense of humor that gets girls most of the time... /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

And I might leave off the "doesn't that turn you on?" Might.