Mack Tooey
09-08-2002, 12:18 AM
I’d like a few minutes of your time to discuss what is fast becoming a very serious problem for on-line poker players, both real money and play money alike.
The problem? Poker Hand Compliment Inflation (PHCI).
What is PHCI? You have all seen it: a player will win with something akin to a pair of nines, (in this example of ‘the winning nines’ the player has only one of the nines in his hand). Then, several other players type the accolade “NH” (Nice Hand) in an attempt to compliment their fellow player and sucker him into making a comparable play soon, or to soothe their own despair at playing similar (but losing) hands in the recent past. To further exacerbate the problem, the savvy recipient re-enforces their behavior by typing “TY” or the even more rewarding “TYVM”
I would assert that if a pair of nines is a “NH”, then two pair is a “VNH” (Very Nice Hand), trips an “ENH” (Extremely NH), straight is a “TNH” (Tremendously NH) , flush is a “PNH” (phenomenally NH), full house an “INH” (Incredibly NH), four of a kind would be an “UNH” (Unbelievably NH), and straight flush a “MNH” (Miraculously NH).
If the tributes described above were used, it seems PHCI would stop. But it will not. We have ignored the root cause: the 'winning pair of nines' was not a “NH”; it was just an “H” (Hand). The nines were indeed the winning hand, but stunningly; someone wins every single hand in a poker game.
Someone, somewhere deemed the ‘winning pair of nines’ a “NH” even though it is actually just an “H” and that is where PHCI started. This same crew, once they become accustomed to “NH”, will soon call the ‘winning pair of nines’ a “VNH”, just as they upgraded the original “H” to “NH”, This will shift the entire scale up a notch, leaving us to come up with a completely new superlative for a straight flush, perhaps “ANH” (Absurdly NH). Just as the “H” became a “NH , someone will eventually call the “VNH” ‘winning pair of nines’ an “ENH” and soon, if we allow PHCI to run it’s course, we will run out of possibilities due to a lack of superlatives (the online thesaurus would be exhausted) or lack of vowels or consonants (Extremely NH, Exceptionally NH, and Exceedingly NH would all be indistinguishable).
This leaves the “compulsive complimenter” with one option, the addition of “V” to each of the accolades above, in the case of “PNH” we would use “VPNH” (Very Phenomenally NH). Just as we shifted from "H" to "NH", that series: “VPNH”, “VTMH”, “VUNH”…; will have to go to: “VVPNH”, “VVTNH”, “VVUNH” and so forth. I see nothing to stop this from approaching an infinite number of “Vs” (denoted "VV…V"). Unfortunately, this leaves the holder of the “VV…VPNH” with the burden of replying “TYVV…VM”.
Tragically the ‘complusive complimenter’ now has but one available response: “YVV…VW”
This describes our problem, a continued pattern of inflated praise that will soon lead to incredibly long acronyms. Acronyms so lengthy that the destination web site will crash attempting to process millions of "V's", the internet itself will crumble under the load of such network traffic, and our pleasant pass-time of online poker will be gone.
The solution to PHCI? I don’t see one, but half of solving a problem is admitting we have one. I have taken us to that fifty yard line, and I hope and pray that the online poker community will run this ball into the end zone.
I’ll know we scored a touchdown when I see a player win $3 with a pair of sevens and another player types "H"
The problem? Poker Hand Compliment Inflation (PHCI).
What is PHCI? You have all seen it: a player will win with something akin to a pair of nines, (in this example of ‘the winning nines’ the player has only one of the nines in his hand). Then, several other players type the accolade “NH” (Nice Hand) in an attempt to compliment their fellow player and sucker him into making a comparable play soon, or to soothe their own despair at playing similar (but losing) hands in the recent past. To further exacerbate the problem, the savvy recipient re-enforces their behavior by typing “TY” or the even more rewarding “TYVM”
I would assert that if a pair of nines is a “NH”, then two pair is a “VNH” (Very Nice Hand), trips an “ENH” (Extremely NH), straight is a “TNH” (Tremendously NH) , flush is a “PNH” (phenomenally NH), full house an “INH” (Incredibly NH), four of a kind would be an “UNH” (Unbelievably NH), and straight flush a “MNH” (Miraculously NH).
If the tributes described above were used, it seems PHCI would stop. But it will not. We have ignored the root cause: the 'winning pair of nines' was not a “NH”; it was just an “H” (Hand). The nines were indeed the winning hand, but stunningly; someone wins every single hand in a poker game.
Someone, somewhere deemed the ‘winning pair of nines’ a “NH” even though it is actually just an “H” and that is where PHCI started. This same crew, once they become accustomed to “NH”, will soon call the ‘winning pair of nines’ a “VNH”, just as they upgraded the original “H” to “NH”, This will shift the entire scale up a notch, leaving us to come up with a completely new superlative for a straight flush, perhaps “ANH” (Absurdly NH). Just as the “H” became a “NH , someone will eventually call the “VNH” ‘winning pair of nines’ an “ENH” and soon, if we allow PHCI to run it’s course, we will run out of possibilities due to a lack of superlatives (the online thesaurus would be exhausted) or lack of vowels or consonants (Extremely NH, Exceptionally NH, and Exceedingly NH would all be indistinguishable).
This leaves the “compulsive complimenter” with one option, the addition of “V” to each of the accolades above, in the case of “PNH” we would use “VPNH” (Very Phenomenally NH). Just as we shifted from "H" to "NH", that series: “VPNH”, “VTMH”, “VUNH”…; will have to go to: “VVPNH”, “VVTNH”, “VVUNH” and so forth. I see nothing to stop this from approaching an infinite number of “Vs” (denoted "VV…V"). Unfortunately, this leaves the holder of the “VV…VPNH” with the burden of replying “TYVV…VM”.
Tragically the ‘complusive complimenter’ now has but one available response: “YVV…VW”
This describes our problem, a continued pattern of inflated praise that will soon lead to incredibly long acronyms. Acronyms so lengthy that the destination web site will crash attempting to process millions of "V's", the internet itself will crumble under the load of such network traffic, and our pleasant pass-time of online poker will be gone.
The solution to PHCI? I don’t see one, but half of solving a problem is admitting we have one. I have taken us to that fifty yard line, and I hope and pray that the online poker community will run this ball into the end zone.
I’ll know we scored a touchdown when I see a player win $3 with a pair of sevens and another player types "H"