I feel terrible when I win money from somebody because...

this person made a mistake. Lately this is the only way I win. I don't enjoy winning or playing this way. Am I the
only one feeling this way? May be I don't have what it takes to play poker.

[Al Schoonmaker]

If you genuinely feel terrible, poker is the wrong game for you. Sorry to be so blunt, but you asked for honest reactions. Poker is a predatory game. It's purpose is to take other people's money. MOST of the money you will win will come, not from your brilliance, but from other people's mistakes. If you can't accept these realities, you might be much happier playing other games. If I have offended you, I apologize.
Al

Al wrote: "MOST of the money you will win will come, not from your brilliance, but from other people's mistakes. If you can't accept these realities, you might be much happier playing other games."

In most games of skill, like poker, what is brilliant and what is obvious is relative. As you play more, more of what you used to consider brilliant becomes obvious. And more of other people's play becomes "mistakes". Moving to another game may not aliviate his problems.

To the original poster, I offer two suggestions. The first is to start playing with better people. If you're not there mainly for the money, play with the best people that you can break even with or lose very slowly with. You will get better and start noticing these people's "mistakes". If you, like me, get more joy out of getting better at playing than winning money this may be one way to go.

The second thing you can try is to play for very low stakes with friends who are serious about improving their game. If they're competitive people, they'll play just as hard for pennies and wooden nickels. Try encouraging discussion about the hands. With one person I play with, we always show our cards at the end of each hand. You learn much faster to get inside your opponents heads.

You can continue to enjoy poker even if you don't like taking money from peoples who play poorly. But remember that if you play for any stakes at all, you will be losing money to people who play better than you and winning from those who play worse than you. That's just the way it works.

[bad beetz]

in his immortal words:

[HDPM]

You must get over this if you are going to play for profit. I used to have some feelings of guilt taking money from down and out people. I never worried about winning from someone who could easily take a loss, even if their play was horrible. But you must give each person the dignity of being able to make their own decisions and choices. The losing players play for their own reasons. They have reasons to lose. Respect that even if you know there's a better way. Maybe they know that too, or are on their path to finding a better way. Once they sit at the table, there is nothing unethical about pounding on them. Play hard and fair and take their money. Feeling sorry for them is more insulting to them than taking the money.

[Jimbo]

Donate your winnings to charity. Perhaps a homeless shelter so these players you bust will have a warm bed and a hot meal.

Jimbo

[prospector]

I've remembered for many years a lecture with the theme that one of our most important freedoms is the freedom to fail. Those whom you beat because of their mistakes are exercising that freedom; don't deny it to them.

[Sitting Bull]

[Sitting Bull]

that MOST players do not mind losing to a "nice friendly player".
So just be friendly and courteous and U will NOT hurt anyone's feelings.
Also remember that many players are recreational players who already have lots of money.
Sitting Bull

[Dave in Cali]

Before I read any of the other responses, let me impart a little bit of my vast, vast array of wisdom (or is it BS that I have such a vast array of?) to you...

All joking aside, if you can't handle winning, you can't be a winner. This includes accepting the fact that the only way to win is to take advantage of the mistakes of others. it's a scientific fact that NO ONE can win anything if no one makes any mistakes. Taking advantage of mistakes is the basis of winning play.

Another thing that might help you with this delimma is found in my personal philosophy of poker. I firmly believe that if you puts your money on the table, you are prepared for and fully responsible for the consequences of this action, including the ramifications of any mistakes you make playing the game. I don't feel sorry for people who lose their money gambling. They made the choice to put their money on the table, they must therefore accept the consequences of this decision. PERIOD.

Get over it if you wanna be a winner, otherwise take up playing cribbage or old maid.

Dave in Cali

[Sitting Bull]

[Dave in Cali]

What ARE you saying here? I'm not winning due to my own Stuper-Magoo-ness? My own sheer brilliance is not the sole and only source of my own perception of my own Stuper-Magnanimous-ness? Please don't go confusing us with the TRUTH now! We can't handle the truth! I wouldn't want the bubble of us Stupor-Geniuses to be busted, forcing to face the reality that own own magnificent-ness is NOT the REAL source of our own ability to eek out some sort of profit from this game!

;-)

gotcha Al!

Dave in Cali (aka kiddsaroundalottocus magoo-icus)

Seriously, though I goof around, Al is right. He is basically saying the same thing I said: if you can't handle the truth behind the reasons we win at poker, take up another game. And you can't handle the truth if you can't handle winning off other people's mistakes. It's the only way to win, and every good player accepts this. If you're worrying about such things, you can't possibly be focused on what it REALLY takes to win.

Dave in Cali

[Ryan_21]

You should take his advice and realize that it is the truth. Like he said if you really feel this way, you should find something else to do.

Ryan_21

[cardshark]

I didn’t have the chance to read all the replies, but Al, you hit the nail right in the head.

The opposite would be like the cat feeling bad for the poor little mouse.