My life totally changed tonight i'm so confused

[PokerCat69]

My girlfriend is from Hong Kong, and right now she is there on a trip to see her father. Her dad runs 2 business both in Hong Kong and in China and he wants me to help him run them.
He also wants to open to beauty salon for my girlfriend to run. (she is a nail technician and currently teaches at a beauty school)

My girlfriend wants us to get married and move to China/HongKong.

I don't know what to do. Money wise would be very good, and I love my girlfriend so much. I do want to marry her someday, but moving to China!?
This means I'd have to learn Cantonese and mandarin, and I'm terrible just terrible at asian languages. Not to mention I couldn't read anything.

My job here is a POS [censored] only $10/hr. I want to quit it any ways. I'd be so far from family & friends.
I don't know what to do. It sounds exciting but moving around the world & marriage. [censored] what the hell do I do?
50% of me thinks this could be amazing and the other 50% of me is scared shitless by this.
Moving to China...

[eric5148]

Do they have reliable broadband internet connection in China? If so, then I'd do it.

[astroglide]

in major cities, yes. with insane amounts of government content filtering!

[PokerCat69]

Internet is fine

[astroglide]

bruiser could probably weigh in on this one even if it's from a tourist's pov. i would be scared shitless just because of the government control issues.

[eric5148]

Oh, wait, I just remembered there's only like 5 golf courses in China, I'm gonna have to say no.

[Freakin]

This decision is impossible to make without pics. Both of girlfriend and of father. I need to know what you're getting yourself in to.

Freakin

[tbach24]

I dunno. They're pretty hardcore about the law and stuff over there I think. Not like here where it's chill. Also, isn't gambling illegal?

[PokerCat69]

Her father runs 2 bars. The one in HongKong is just a bar, the one in China is more of a stripclub. This sounds fun. But if poker is illegal then I'm [censored].

[tbach24]

That would be awesome to run a bar. I bet you could get a lot of illegal poker going on.

[SuitedSixes]

You need to put A LOT of thought into this. My wife is from another country and we didn't have any idea how hard it would be on her, and her country is only 45 minutes away (not her city, but the country). We were naive and though that love was all we needed. We have had nothing but problems, and they are all traced back to cultural differences and homesickness.

I couldn't imagine being in a place where I didn't know anyone, didn't speak the language, and was never really sure when I would get to go home.

[IggyWH]

[ QUOTE ]
Her father runs 2 bars. The one is HongKong is just a bar, the one in China is more of a stripclub. This sounds fun. But if poker is illegal then I'm [censored].

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd stick with Hong Kong. While under China control technically, I hear it's pretty free since they were under English rule for all those years.

This Jan 12th article doesn't sound too good for you though :

http://news.newkerala.com/world-news/?action=fullnews&id=59367

[PokerCat69]

hmmm no poker. I dunno /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[snowbank]

"Her dad runs 2 business both in Hong Kong and in China and he wants me to help him run them.
He also wants to open to beauty salon for my girlfriend to run. (she is a nail technician and currently teaches at a beauty school)"

Tell him to open another bar in the U.S. and a beauty salon in the U.S. If it's profitable he'll make more money that way too.

[sublime]

it didnt change yet.

but it will when you tell her your not going.

[bholdr]

what an awesome oppurtunity- to see the world, to expand your horizons, to meet people, to be with the woman you love in a strange land....

maybe agree to it for five years? i have a freind that did something very simaler (moved to japan with his girl to work and travel- he agreed to 5 years) and he has no regrets that i know of.

[Kenrick]

Sounds like the moving part wouldn't be completely terrible, even though it's China, and you could always move back later. Main problem to me is the marriage part. If you go, I'd agree to a lonngggg engagement. An airplane ride is one thing, but marriage is different.

[peachy]

mah answer is gonna be short....

IF YOU LOVE HER...there should be almost no thought here...i know its a huge move...but is she the love of ur life?? If so that should make ur choice easier!!

I didnt want to have kids and was not willing to move away from where i live for anyone...until i met someone i really cared about...and i would give up just about anything for the person i love in life

[whiskeytown]

several foreigners (I mean Americans and Europeans) have relocated to Hong Kong/China. Personally, I'd rather go to Hong Kong because it's used to freedom and while they speak Cantonese, they have generally some concept of English from it being occupied so many yrs., but Mainland China has it's moments too, I'm sure.

You will/should NOT renounce your citizenship as a citizen of your present country. (in fact, might not hurt to marry the girlfriend in the US if that's where you're from to give her US status.) - you will NEVER give up your passport - you WILL leave yourself financial outs-

You will let your embassy know you're moving in the area...you will keep in contact with fellow Americans (there's a group in Shanghai of Minnesotans who get together once a month - read about it in our newspaper.)

and if the [censored] hits the fan, you will leave and not come back. And you will NOT do something stupid like smuggle drugs or try to become a spy, got it?

And if you love her....hell - damn good reason (I like asian girls myself) - and moving to China doesn't mean you can't move away if it just doesn't work....know what I mean?

Unless you do something obscenely stupid like in Breakdown Palace, you can leave if you have to.

something to think about - given my life state right now, I'd probably do it, and I even have a good job...LOL - but I'd have to have been in love for quite a while to do it too, not a 3 month thing, if ya know what I mean.

RB

[PokerCat69]

Just talked with her and we both agreed to delay this for a year.

whiskeytown - good advice, and everyone else who replied.

[Lazymeatball]

you should look into this "becoming a spy" thing. Sounds cool.

[hyde]

Let's see....a bar and a strip club with owner aspects....I set the over/under on your relationship at something less than 3 months....
and the odds of getting out unscathed at 50/50...and that's only if you have a plan.....

Seriously, well actually that was serious, but I passed up a chance to live in Italy for a year when I was much younger, and I regret it. there is an incredible opportunity hidden in the risk......
On the other hand you mentioned a fear of laws over there, if you don't find it easy to play by the rules, stay here where a good lawyer can get you out almost anything.

hyde

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
Just talked with her and we both agreed to delay this for a year.

whiskeytown - good advice, and everyone else who replied.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm glad you've made a rational decision, but why not add THIS to the mix:

Quit you POS job. It's pointless, and you can always get another $10/hr. job.

Go to Hong Kong for a month or two. Really test drive this whole thing. Don't tell anyone that is why you're going.

Get a "Hands off Tibet" t-shirt.

They love that there.

Good luck.

P.S. It was nice to see the OOT crowd actually treat someone with a serious concern in a dignified and helpful way. There's hope for all of us.

I'm getting all choked up over here.

[MicroBob]

Good decision.


You also need to consider the very real possibility that the govt internet censors over there won't allow you to see your favorite Alizee pics and gif's.

[El Maximo]

Does she have any sisters?

[maryfield48]

[ QUOTE ]
mah answer is gonna be short....

IF YOU LOVE HER...there should be almost no thought here...i know its a huge move...but is she the love of ur life?? If so that should make ur choice easier!!

I didnt want to have kids and was not willing to move away from where i live for anyone...until i met someone i really cared about...and i would give up just about anything for the person i love in life

[/ QUOTE ]

Stop. I'm going to puke.

[jokerthief]

You do know that China is an oppressive totalitarian government right?

In high school I worked as a delivery driver at a Chinese restaurant and the owner became (who was born in China) became a mentor of mine. He was a child during the Communist Revolution and his parents were land owners, which caused his family to flee and hide. He had to leave his parents and flee with relatives because the communists were hunting down people with ties to the old republic and executing some and imprisoning others in concentration camps. His parents were executed. He went on in hiding and got an education and was on his way to college when the government found out he was linked to dissidents. Even though he was a young child during the revolution and had no part in it, the government displaced him into the country side to labor in a poor government controlled farming collective. Long story short, he escaped to Hong Kong after his third attempt and some time in concentration camps. In the 70's he immigrated to the US.

In 1997 two major events happened: the transfer of Hong Kong to China and the death of Deng Xiaoping. At this time I stayed after work many nights and we would discuss Chinese politics. Charles (my boss) was busy smuggling the remainder of his wife's family out of Hong Kong at this time. He was worried about revolution and who might succeed Deng Xiaoping. I found this curious and asked him about it, learning for the first time the long-mindedness of Chinese culture. He wasn't worried about the immediate term but the long run. He was convinced that China would be in civil war sometime around 2015 and thought it could happen as soon as 2010. His rational was based on Chinese history and the current path of the Chinese economy.

China's history is full of revolution. The revolutions are always caused by war from outside countries or from civil war usually caused by economic depression. Chinese governments seem to always create economic systems that collapse on themselves. Charles saw two events that would cause the collapse and the subsequent violent power grab. The first is the possible involvement of China in WWIII and the second is the Chinese economy finally collapsing on itself. His opinion was that the economy collapsing on itself is inevitable and WWIII a real but less likely event.

Involvement in WWIII could be caused by China's inevitable invasion of the Republic of China (now known as Taiwan, where the republic forces retreated in 1949 and established a new country). He also thought that it could be sparked by a Chinese invasion of India over their long standing dispute over Kashmir. He thought that the US might let China get away with invading Taiwan but would definitely come to the aid of India. India is the third most powerful country in the world IMO. The second and third most powerful countries involved in a full scale war would drag in the US, Europe, Russia, and Pakistan. Pakistan's involvement could spark an Islamic revolution through out the near and middle east as well as North Africa. North Korea might seize upon the chaos to launch a first strike against South Korea and maybe even Japan. All hell would break loose.

Maybe none of this will happen but the possibility exists. I think moving to China would be a very bad move. Even if none of this happens you are still going to have to deal with one of the most brutal and oppressive governments in the world right now. Before you even think about moving, you need to research what Amnesty International has to say about China’s human rights violations. You also should research China’s published long term goals about slowly stripping Hong Kong of its civil rights. I wouldn’t move to Hong Kong for any amount of money.

[tripdad]

if you move there, make sure you don't move into a house where anyone was murdered.

didn't you see "the Grudge"?

cheers!

[toss]

Theres also a chance that the universe can implode from next generation particale accelerators.

Even if there was to be a WWIII, we would all be screwed anyways.

[BeerMoney]

PokerCat,

I am in a very similar situation, and would be willing to talk with you about this at any time. PM me if you like, and we can chat like that.

I will be moving to East Asia in a year or so for 5-10 years. My wife has to go back there though, and I will be going with her.

Take care, BeerMoney

[Duke]

This is going to sound really sappy, but there's only really one question to answer here.

Do you love her?

If you do, then you don't really have a choice.

By the sound of it, well, I don't think you do. You shouldn't go.

~D

[jokerthief]

I actually don't believe that WWIII will happen but the steady trend of slowly striping Hong Kong of civil rights is what would worry me the most. Geopolitics is an interest of mine and I tend to get carried away. You're right, I spent too much time on a moot point. We would all be fukd indeed.

[mike l.]

i can speak to the language part of it. my friend married a chinese girl and he picked up the language pretty darn quick and he's very happy to be able to speak with her and her family in chinese.

[nongice626]

[ QUOTE ]
My girlfriend is from Hong Kong, and right now she is there on a trip to see her father. Her dad runs 2 business both in Hong Kong and in China and he wants me to help him run them.
He also wants to open to beauty salon for my girlfriend to run. (she is a nail technician and currently teaches at a beauty school)

My girlfriend wants us to get married and move to China/HongKong.

I don't know what to do. Money wise would be very good, and I love my girlfriend so much. I do want to marry her someday, but moving to China!?
This means I'd have to learn Cantonese and mandarin, and I'm terrible just terrible at asian languages. Not to mention I couldn't read anything.

My job here is a POS [censored] only $10/hr. I want to quit it any ways. I'd be so far from family & friends.
I don't know what to do. It sounds exciting but moving around the world & marriage. [censored] what the hell do I do?
50% of me thinks this could be amazing and the other 50% of me is scared shitless by this.
Moving to China...

[/ QUOTE ]

youre so [censored] lucky.

id do it in a second.

[bcunha]

You can make more than $10/hr easily playing poker and bonus whoring (6 reloads this weekend, omglolwtfbbq).

[PokerCat69]

Just found out gambling is allowed in Macau!
This makes me happy /images/graemlins/smile.gif

bcunha - I know I should quit my job. On a normal day I'll play poker for 3 hours and earn more then an entire day at work.

[Bulbarainey]

do it, youll be starting off great in whats going to be a huge economy, and when it gets bigger, youll be on top. however i think it also matters on where youre living in the USA, most people here work all their life to get a house and thats about all they get, there youll go much farther