Condiment Conundrum

[Rushmore]

Hamburgers that come to you with mayonnaise on them.

Hot dogs, slathered in ketchup.

These must be the fifth and sixth Horsemen of The Apocalypse.

I mean, I met a buddy and his new girlfriend at a restaurant the other day, and she told the waitress she "needed more mayonnaise for her hamburger."

Shouldn't I really have just stood up and left without a word?

Or should I have said, "You're gonna need a new bandage for your nose if you don't SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!" (?)

Or maybe it's all good, and she should be allowed to put a goddamned giant turd on a sub bun and smother it in relish and tartar sauce if she feels like it, since she's the one eating it.

I don't know. There's sure a lot to figure out in this life, I'll tellya.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Or maybe it's all good, and she should be allowed to put a goddamned giant turd on a sub bun and smother it in relish and tartar sauce if she feels like it, since she's the one eating it.

[/ QUOTE ] yup

[Shajen]

I'd allow the turd only if said turd had peanuts in it.

MMMMMMM, PEANUTS.

You're alright, dude.

[daryn]

mayo on burger = good. i sometimes like both mayo and ketchup though.

hotdogs, anything goes man.

[fatmongo]

[ QUOTE ]
mayo on burger = good. i sometimes like both mayo and ketchup though.

hotdogs, anything goes man.

[/ QUOTE ]

most definitely

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
mayo on burger = good. i sometimes like both mayo and ketchup though.

hotdogs, anything goes man.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm sorry, but I'm not putting mayonnaise on a steak, and I'm not putting it on meatloaf, and I'm not putting it on my HAMBURGER.

And I assure you, if you douse a beautiful Sabrett's all-beef hot dog with ketchup in front of anyone I know, they're gonna go OFF, yo.

I believe all bets are off it's a non-Sabrett's, and you can actually deep fry it and roll it in rice and eat it as sushi if you like.

[fatmongo]

Wow, have you even tried mayo on meatloaf? Its pretty much the only way I eat meatloaf anymore.
As far as hot dogs, they pretty much suck if you don't dress them up. I mean I can dig one with just mustard if nothing else is around. But I'd much rather have a 1/3lb hot dog on a french roll covered with pizza sauce and melted cheese (pizza dog), or maybe coverd in buffalo sauce with bleu cheese on it (buffalo dog). I could go on and on and on but I'll stop there.

[Shajen]

Dogs are ok by me with mustard, relish, onions, ketchup and a few shakes of tabasco.

Sounds good actually.

Burgers don't require mayo. Mustard (preferably spicy) and ketchup with jalapenos is the way to go.

Oh, and a good cheese is mandatory.

[David Steele]

Don't you ever realize that "special sauce" is just
Mayo and Ketchup??? Man your clueless.

D.

[moondogg]

If someone does not put ketchup on their hot dog, I usually report them to the proper authorities for being a communist sympathizer. Haven been wrong yet.

[Boris]

bitch, bitch, bitch....

[hyde]

I haven't had mayo and ketchup on a burger for almost 30 minutes.

[Filet O' Fish]

Mayonaise is disgusting and the last thing I would put on a burger. Ketchup and mustard both taste better and are better for you. As for hotdogs, ketchup, mustard, relish, chili, cheese, onions, and jalapenos are all acceptable IMO. Actually, the hotdog itself is the grossest part. I'm trying to stay away from hotdogs which is not too hard to do when I think of what they're made of. BTW, some Europeans use mayonaise on their french fries. Yummy!

[fatmongo]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, some Europeans use mayonaise on their french fries. Yummy!

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha maybe I should just move to Europe. In the past if I ordered a club sandwich or something, I'd ask for mayo on the side. I'd dip the sandwich in the mayo, and use the rest on my fries.
It must suck to not like mayonaise, it is good stuff.

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
BTW, some Europeans use mayonaise on their french fries. Yummy!

[/ QUOTE ]

this is correct, and is 1000x better than ketchup on fries. they also do this in montreal, mmmmm... it's like europe without flying over the ocean.

[astroglide]

i take mayo, ketchup, and mustard on burgers. only mustard on hot dogs. did you not notice that most fast food places and mid-level burger restaurants use mayo?

[MrFeelNothin]

[ QUOTE ]
BTW, some Europeans use mayonaise on their french fries. Yummy!

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll admit it, I started doing this after watching Pulp Fiction. Its goooooot. I now drown everything in mayo, fries, burgers, chicken strips, meatloaf, etc, etc.

Yes I am aware my heart hates me.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
i take mayo, ketchup, and mustard on burgers. only mustard on hot dogs. did you not notice that most fast food places and mid-level burger restaurants use mayo?

[/ QUOTE ]

I did notice, of course.

I just think it's wrong.

At least we agree on the hot dogs.

Guess that's not enough for us to have a barbeque, huh?

[astroglide]

i like bratwurst *WAY* more than hot dogs. if you had those i would consider it just to see if you're similar to what you represent here.

[jasonHoldEm]

In college I worked at a semi-upscale steak house, our filet mignon was on par with the best cut of meat I've ever had at much more expensive restrants. Anyways, one time this older woman ordered the filet and when I took it to her she reached over, grabbed a bottle from the side of the table, and I watched in horror as she covered her $39.99 steak in heinz ketchup. I came about this close || to slapping the bitch and taking the steak away from her.

For the most part, I believe in freedom of expression in condiment usage, but there are certain things you just can't do to a filet mignon, drowning it in ketchup (or anything other than au jois for that matter) being at or near the top of the list.

J

[daryn]

i dunno man, you like ketchup? do what you want with your steak. i don't care if you paid $100 for it. i saw a show on the travel channel about funny high roller stories. this one guy ordered 2 bottles of cristal and poured them into his cereal for breakfast.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't you ever realize that "special sauce" is just
Mayo and Ketchup??? Man your clueless.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't eat burgers with "special sauce," which I sincerely hope provides you with the consistency necessary for me to justify my original position.

You might want to know that the phrase "your clueless" isn't very flattering on several levels.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
i like bratwurst *WAY* more than hot dogs. if you had those i would consider it just to see if you're similar to what you represent here.

[/ QUOTE ]

When I lived in Milwuakee, I developed a taste for top drawer brats. Damn fine stuff, damn fine.

I'll make sure and stock up on them, so that when I host our "getting to know you barbeque," you'll be able to at least enjoy the cuisine while confirming all of your worst expectations about my hideous and offensive personality.

[BottlesOf]

I like ketchup on my hot dogs too, but this is ludicrous. Even I recognize the condiment that is supposed to be there is mustard.

[jasonHoldEm]

It's not ketchup specifically, just the desecration of a really nice steak. If you're gonna put ketchup on a steak get a cheaper cut like a sirloin or even sirloin tips, it's gonna taste the same and cost you half as much.

That being said, she did tip well, so who am I to critize?

J

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
If someone does not put ketchup on their hot dog, I usually report them to the proper authorities for being a communist sympathizer. Haven been wrong yet.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's pretty lame. I bet you put ketchup on eggs and wish cocktail sauce didn't have horseradish in it.

[J_V]

[ QUOTE ]
You might want to know that the phrase "your clueless" isn't very flattering on several levels.
[ QUOTE ]


Nice.

I'm okay w/ mayo on a burger although I wouldn't do it, but I'd throw my hotdog out if ketchup was nearby.

[Rushmore]

[ QUOTE ]
Quote:
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Nice.

I'm okay w/ mayo on a burger although I wouldn't do it, but I'd throw my hotdog out if ketchup was nearby.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now we're TALKING.

Note the reasonable, rational tone used when addressing the mayo issue (i.e. "It might be ok for YOU, but not for ME."), coupled with the utterly noble irrationality of actually DISCARDING the hot dog at the mere presence of ketchup.

A complex world view, to be sure.

Nice.