5 questions for god (no religious content)

[KJS]

If you met an omniscient being (say what the Xtians call God) and could ask him 5 questions about yourself with the stipulation that all answers had to be in the form of a number, what would you ask?

I'll start:

(in no order of importance)

1. What is my lifetime pool record vs. my friend Andrew?
2. How much have I won (or lost?) at poker in my life?
3. Since age 21, what percentage of all days have I been drunk or stoned?
4. I have sex more often that what percent of the adult male population in America?
5. I lie more often that what percent of all people?

KJS

[Dynasty]

You capitalize Andrew but not God?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

I thought for sure this post would have a picture of a steaming pile of cow [censored] in it. Now I don't know if I even want to read it any more.

[elwoodblues]

[ QUOTE ]
I thought for sure this post would have a picture of a steaming pile of cow [censored] in it

[/ QUOTE ]

Funny thing is, I think you would have been happier with the [censored].

[stabn]

"Xtians call God"

idiot.

[jakethebake]

How uninteresting is this thread?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Hey, at least we're not talking about [censored] circles rolling around bigger circles anymore. I consider this a small step forward. And by forward, I mean we've moved into the neutral state of me not wanting to read it. Apathy, if you will.

[stabn]

It's almost as bad as patrick's threads.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

You just don't see the art. You're blind to genius.

[stabn]

Yawn.

[Snowslide]

What is the first winning number in this weekends Lotto?
What is the second winning number in this weekends Lotto?
What is the third winning number in this weekends Lotto?
What is the fourth winning number in this weekends Lotto?
What is the fifth winning number in this weekends Lotto?

Then I would go buy 44 tickets with the all the other possible tickets. Maybe I would buy 88, just to have 2 winning tickets!
I would then fulfill my dream of being rich by buying 2 brand new corvettes and weld one upside down on top of the other, and use this as my dailey driver, which I would bag drive like there is no tomorrow... just to rub it in to all my friends!

I have put years of thought into this!

*mike*

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
"Xtians call God"

idiot.

[/ QUOTE ]

[jakethebake]

I take it back. This is dumber than the WPT genie thread.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
"Xtians call God"
idiot.

[/ QUOTE ]
I thought this was hilarious.

[tolbiny]

Since you are unlikely to meet god this week, i willl answer this for you.

1. What is my lifetime pool record vs. my friend Andrew?
2. How much have I won (or lost?) at poker in my life?

anyone who seriously wanted to know such answers would have kept good enough records not to waste these questions on God. Therefore you don't actually want to know and are just testing my omnicience- i work on faith and therefore you get no answers to these two.

"3. Since age 21, what percentage of all days have I been drunk or stoned?"

Too many- i suggest you do what your parents did. Get A Job, Sir!

"4. I have sex more often that what percent of the adult male population in America?"

This is one you can figure out for yourself- take the percentage of under twelve year olds not being molested, and 80+ year olds not on viagra. You are tied for last with all of them.

"5. I lie more often that what percent of all people?"

Actually, by my standards you lie very little. Most of what comes out of your mouth is untrue but at least 50% of it is due to ignorance. On the other hand nobody really litens to what you say, so your other lies have very little impact.

Based soley on your premarital sex and damage caused by your lies you really aren't that bad of a person.