Conjoined twins and the popularity of poker...

[otnemem]

Okay, so everyone knows of the recent marketability of poker due to an influx of content offered by such shows as The World Poker Tour, and World Series of Poker coverage on ESPN.

Everyone also knows that Americans love watching anything involving conjoined, or siamese, twins. Tell me you don't stop to watch the documentary about the girl with two heads playing baseball, or the one about the two sister joined by a thread of the neck, one an avid reader, the other an aspiring country music star. We love witnessing the underdog overcoming the odds.

So logically, what does this tell us? Poker + conjoined twins = ratings! If you taught a pair of conjoined twins to play poker well, they'd be a mega success - poker media darlings! Maybe one could be really good at stud, the other omaha 8. Maybe one gets wrapped up in drugs and hookers, and the other's a devout christian. Do you see where I'm going here? It's gold!

One obstacle comes to mind: would this violate the one person per hand rule? Hmm...

Okay, I'll go throw myself in front of a bus now.

[Voltron87]

not funny

[augie00]

I have a rating system that I use to qualify jokes that my friends tell me. It uses golf terminology:

Eagle: A joke that makes me hurt from laughing, or makes me fall down.

Birdie: A joke that's funny and makes me laugh, but I'm able to cease convulsing after a short period of time.

Par: A joke that is sort of funny, but it doesn't make me laugh.

Bogie: A joke that's not funny, but doesn't warrant an insult.

Double Bogie: A joke that is not only not funny, but warrants an insult on the jokester's character or value system.


This joke, my friend, is a double bogie.

[otnemem]

Well I hate to inform you that I have no value system. So ha.

[FishBurger]

That's not a bad idea. Another option that is on the horizon would be to create some type of poker-playing chimera. Scientists are currently working feverishly to grow mice with human brains, so a poker playing mouse or monkey can't be far behind.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2005/01/0125_050125_chimeras.html

Could you imagine logging into PartyPoker and losing to a poker-playing monkey?

[otnemem]

Finally someone who understands my vision!

[Dan Mezick]

It appears your idea about the apes is great...but a little late.

There's some guy in DesMoines Iowa that has trained apes playing Hold'Em 24X7 using Sklanksy's all in system, check it out:

PrimatePoker (http://www.primatepoker.com)

Apparently these apes also program computers for a living, which explains the online poker connection:

Primate Programming Inc: The Evolution of Java and .NET training (http://www.newtechusa.com/ppi/main.asp)

People with no clue are losing to these apes every day on Party.


If you like to laugh and haven't seen this other 2+2 post yet, it's definitely worth a click:

(For a good laugh, click here)
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1573870&page=&view=&s b=5&o=

[iMsoLucky0]

Wow, I can't believe I opened this thread, much less read the whole post.

I hate myself.

[Lottery Larry]

From what I've heard from people, losing to monkeys happens every day!

[otnemem]

Good.

[Lottery Larry]

I rated it par, myself. I smiled a bit at the silliness.

[otnemem]

There you go! Where has the silliness gone?

[asofel]

[ QUOTE ]
Wow, I can't believe I opened this thread, much less read the whole post.

I hate myself.

[/ QUOTE ]

that post made it worth it /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Wake up CALL]

It will never get off the ground unless you change the "One player to a hand" rule.

[MrMon]

Well, they could play each other heads up, but I suppose the rake would kinda eat into their profits.

[otnemem]

It comes down to whether they're playing as one person or as two. If they're playing as one, the one player per hand rule has to be re-evaluated. If they play as two, we'll have to revise the random seating system.

[FishBurger]

I didn't realize that poker-playing monkeys were already owning my shizzle on Party, but I should have suspected it.

[mostsmooth]

[ QUOTE ]
I have a rating system that I use to qualify jokes that my friends tell me. It uses golf terminology:

Eagle: A joke that makes me hurt from laughing, or makes me fall down.

Birdie: A joke that's funny and makes me laugh, but I'm able to cease convulsing after a short period of time.

Par: A joke that is sort of funny, but it doesn't make me laugh.

Bogie: A joke that's not funny, but doesn't warrant an insult.

Double Bogie: A joke that is not only not funny, but warrants an insult on the jokester's character or value system.


This joke, my friend, is a double bogie.

[/ QUOTE ]
how funny would a joke have to be to be rated an "albatross"?

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Could you imagine logging into PartyPoker and losing to a poker-playing monkey?

[/ QUOTE ]

It'd be better than the donkeys that rape me from time to time. Monkeys have smaller units.

Also, it would be less insulting to be runner-runnered by monkeys. After all, at least they have opposable thumbs.

~D

[Tevyee]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, so everyone knows of the recent marketability of poker due to an influx of content offered by such shows as The World Poker Tour, and World Series of Poker coverage on ESPN.

Everyone also knows that Americans love watching anything involving conjoined, or siamese, twins. Tell me you don't stop to watch the documentary about the girl with two heads playing baseball, or the one about the two sister joined by a thread of the neck, one an avid reader, the other an aspiring country music star. We love witnessing the underdog overcoming the odds.

So logically, what does this tell us? Poker + conjoined twins = ratings! If you taught a pair of conjoined twins to play poker well, they'd be a mega success - poker media darlings! Maybe one could be really good at stud, the other omaha 8. Maybe one gets wrapped up in drugs and hookers, and the other's a devout christian. Do you see where I'm going here? It's gold!

One obstacle comes to mind: would this violate the one person per hand rule? Hmm...

Okay, I'll go throw myself in front of a bus now.

[/ QUOTE ]
Kill yourself asap! /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[bigredlemon]

Ahahhahahahahhahaaaa........ thats some funny shiiit!

I said it once and I'll say it again: there's a lot of people on this site with no sense of humour.

[rusellmj]

[ QUOTE ]

So logically, what does this tell us? Poker + conjoined twins = ratings! If you taught a pair of conjoined twins to play poker well, they'd be a mega success - poker media darlings! Maybe one could be really good at stud, the other omaha 8. Maybe one gets wrapped up in drugs and hookers, and the other's a devout christian. Do you see where I'm going here? It's gold!

[/ QUOTE ]

Kinda gives new meaning to the term "heads up" eh?

Russ

[Grisgra]

[ QUOTE ]


Kinda gives new meaning to the term "heads up" eh?

Russ

[/ QUOTE ]

And that's the ballgame.