PDA

View Full Version : Yo Momma jokes


Tyler Durden
01-25-2005, 07:04 PM
Post your favorite one(s) here.

"your momma is like a bowling ball--she gets picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter."

that's the one that got me sent to the principal's office in second grade. oops.

pshreck
01-25-2005, 07:08 PM
I loved the ridiculous ones that were so out there it was hard to even take offense at them:

"Yo momma so fat, that when she sits on fruit, it turns into skittles"

Tyler Durden
01-25-2005, 07:49 PM
Nobody else has one? Sad.

Alobar
01-25-2005, 07:54 PM
yo momma is so fat, that when she wore a malcom X t-shirt, helicopters tried landing on her

VBM
01-25-2005, 07:56 PM
Your momma is so fat, when she jumps for joy, she gets stuck.

private joker
01-25-2005, 07:56 PM
Your mama is so fat that when she gets on a moped, you can't hear the engine run!!!

Yo Mama's Like A Stamp: Lick Her, Stick Her And Send Her Away.

Yo Mama's Like A Pepsi Machine, 75 Cents For A New Generation.

Yo Mama's Like A Vacuum, She Blows, Sucks, And Gets Layed In The Closet.

Yo Mama's Like A Hardware Store... 10 Cents A Screw.

yo mama so dumb she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death!

yo mama so fat she tried to jump the grand canyon and got stuck!

yo mama sofat she squashed godzilla like a bug with her shoe!

yo mama so dumb she stole a free cookie!

yo mama is so fat that every time she turns around it's your birthday (this one's my favorite)

yo mama is so fat that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang

yo mama is so fat the last time she saw 90210 she was on the scales

yo mama is so fat she got a group discount when she went to Disneyland.

yo mama is so fat she jumped and got stuck in thin air

yo mama so fat she sat in a monster truck and made it a low rider.

yo mama like a shotgun, one cock she blows

yo mama so messy, when she went to use the toilet a roach slapped her ass and said "Wait your turn"

yo mama so poor, her family Christmas tree was a branch.

yo mama so dumb, she thought General Motors was in the army.

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch.

Your mama's so fat, when she broke her leg, gravy poured out.

daryn
01-25-2005, 08:04 PM
your momma is so old, when God said let there be light, she hit the switch.

Richie Rich
01-25-2005, 08:11 PM
Yo momma's so old, Moses signed her yearbook.

Yo momma's so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road.

Yo momma's so ugly, when I took her to the zoo, zookeeper said, "thanks for bringing her back".

lucas9000
01-25-2005, 08:13 PM
yo mama's an astronaut

WEASEL45
01-25-2005, 08:15 PM
Yo mama's so fat, she went to sizzler and the btch got a group discount.

bholdr
01-25-2005, 08:17 PM
from the pharcyde:

your mom is so fat...

how fat is she?

we took her to the drive in and she didn't have to pay/
'cause we dressed her up to look just like a chevrolet

Slacker13
01-25-2005, 08:25 PM
Your mamma is so ugly she could get a job sniffing luggage at the airport.

Your mamma is so fat she has a vcr for a beeper

Allan
01-25-2005, 08:30 PM
your momma's so fat it looks like she's got a pack of hot dogs on the back of her neck.....


Allan

AEKDBet
01-25-2005, 11:10 PM
Yo momma is so fat I had to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot

coltrane
01-26-2005, 04:55 AM
yo momma's teeth are so yellow, when she drives into an intersection everyone SLOWS DOWN

eric5148
01-26-2005, 05:46 AM
Yo momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house

Yo momma's so fat she uses a highway on a rainy day for a slip n slide

nicky g
01-26-2005, 05:51 AM
Yo mamma's so fat when she came out of the sea, Greenpeace pushed her back in.

Yo mamma's so fat, when she lay on the beach the tide couldn't come in

Yo mamma's so fat, at school she sat next to everybody

IndieMatty
01-26-2005, 10:58 AM
Well Played.

IndieMatty
01-26-2005, 10:59 AM
[ QUOTE ]
yo momma is so fat, that when she wore a malcom X t-shirt, helicopters tried landing on her

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember hearing the white guy on Uptown Comedy Club say this to Tracy Morgan (WAYYYYYY back in the day)...I was like 12 and I thought it was the best Mother Joke of all time.

vulturesrow
01-26-2005, 11:10 AM
Yo mama so fat she left stretch marks in the bathtub.

Yo mama so fat when she wore a red shirt all the kids yelled "Kool-aid!".

Yo mama so fat you need a map to walk around her.

shummie
01-26-2005, 11:21 AM
Yo momma so fat... she puts lipstick on with a paint roller.

- Jason

Porcupine
01-26-2005, 04:05 PM
Didn't see one of my favoites:

Yo momma is so dumb it takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

2planka
01-26-2005, 04:14 PM
Here's an un-PC one from one of my favorite authors:

Yo' momma's so black I gotta throw a sheet over her head so's the sun can come out in the morning

- Zora Neale Hurston

Duke
01-26-2005, 04:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Yo' momma's so black I gotta throw a sheet over her head so's the sun can come out in the morning

[/ QUOTE ]

Shift back in time 10 years when I was the only white kid on a basketball team.

Once 2 kids were talking [censored] to each other, and the one offered:

"You're so black I can't tell where your forehead stops and your hair starts."

Racial and ethnic jokes can actually be pretty funny as long as they're not meant to be malicious.

I once accused a girlfriend of being "too chicken" to go up on that Big Shot thing on top of the Stratosphere. "How do you know I'm scared?" "You're yellow."

~D

IronDragon1
01-27-2005, 03:32 AM
Yo mama so fat when she sat on a quarter she squeezed a booger outta George Washington's nose

Yo mama so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund

*snip-snap*

Reef
01-27-2005, 03:34 AM
Yo momma's so fat, her nickname is DAYUMN.

nothumb
01-27-2005, 03:44 AM
Yo mama was an extra on the Simpsons nigga!

NT

Lawrence Ng
01-27-2005, 10:00 AM
Retarded... /images/graemlins/shocked.gif

dsm
01-27-2005, 10:40 AM
Yo momma's so fat, every time she bends over there's a total eclipse.

-dsm

xadrez
01-27-2005, 10:53 AM
Yo mommas breath is so stank shes got a tic-tac with a battery in it

Yo mommas so fat she used sheep for tampons

Yo mommas so ugly they filmed 'Gorillas in the Mist' in her shower

Yo mommas so skinny she can hand glid on a dorito

Yo mommas so short she does backflips under the bed

Yo mommas got one leg shorter than the other and she keep talking about 'aint no half steppin'

AviD
01-27-2005, 11:13 AM
Yo momma is so fat, when she jumped in the air she got stuck.

nicky g
01-27-2005, 11:18 AM
Yo mamma is so unfunny, she invented all the yo mamma jokes in this thread.

xadrez
01-27-2005, 11:24 AM
Yo mommas so fat her blood type is Ragu

Reef
01-27-2005, 12:27 PM
[ QUOTE ]

Yo mommas so fat she used sheep for tampons


[/ QUOTE ]

I believe it was matress pads instead of sheep

xadrez
01-27-2005, 12:36 PM
[/ QUOTE ]I believe it was matress pads instead of sheep

[/ QUOTE ]

And btw, its Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a MAXI PAD, I said she uses a sheep for a TAMPON -- i prefer the sheep one due to the mental image it creates

xadrez
01-27-2005, 12:41 PM
btw
Yo momma so stupid she asked me what comes after "X", I said "Y" and she yelled "muthaf'er, cause i wanna know!"

nicky g
01-27-2005, 12:45 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Yo mamma is so unfunny, she invented all the yo mamma jokes in this thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

DukeSucks
01-27-2005, 12:54 PM
Yo Momma's so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo Momma's so stupid she stayed in the grocery store for one day looking at a can of orange juice just because it said concentrate.
Yo Momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo Momma's so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk - white & chunky.
Yo Momma's so ugly, her nickname is "DAMN".
Yo Momma's so poor when I rang the doorbell she stuck her head out the window and yelled "Ding Dong".

xadrez
01-27-2005, 12:55 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Yo mamma is so unfunny, she invented all the yo mamma jokes in this thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you the Humor Arbiter of OOT or something?

freekobe
01-27-2005, 12:58 PM
Yo mama's so black she got marked absent at night school...

nicky g
01-27-2005, 12:58 PM
No, but this place is desperately in need of one.

augie00
01-27-2005, 12:59 PM
[ QUOTE ]
yo mama's an astronaut

[/ QUOTE ]

YES! I was afraid that nobody was going to take care of the obligatory white men can't jump yo momma joke.

nicky g
01-27-2005, 01:00 PM
Nah, seriously I just wanted to experiment with the sheer dickery of quoting myself. I liked the blood type one.

Nagoo81
01-27-2005, 01:04 PM
Yo momma is so dumb she open limps 99 on the button

xadrez
01-27-2005, 01:19 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Nah, seriously I just wanted to experiment with the sheer dickery of quoting myself. I liked the blood type one.

[/ QUOTE ]

Its all good...akin to the Ragu one is...

Yo mommas so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out