Horrible movies [Archive] - Two Plus Two Older Archives

Ulysses

01-23-2005, 01:14 AM

I get all the movie channels. Like 50 pay channels on the DirecTV premium package. And I have Tivo, which records tons of movies, some on request and others of its own accord. I end up watching many horrible movies because of this. I watch a lot of movies in theaters, so the movies I watch on Tivo are often movies that had trailers or stars that looked good but didn't last long in the theaters - usually for good reason. These are the latest terrible movies I've seen.

Out of Time - starring the normally great Denzel Washington and the incredibly hot Eva Mendes. I fell asleep in the middle of this for a while in the middle and didn't bother to rewind. Everything about this film was bad.

Gothika - starring two incredibly hot women, Halle Berry and Penelope Cruz. Oh man, this was so incredibly bad.

Along Came Polly - starring Ben Stiller, who I sometimes find really funny, playing the same guy he has played countless times. In fact, you could take certain scenes (bathroom scene for example) and stick them right into Something About Mary. Also stars the incredibly hot Jennifer Aniston, who once again pretty much sucks, which I think she does in most everything except The Good Girl, which was really good. Anyway, this movie sucked in every way except for some mildly funny stuff from Philip Seymour Hoffman.

50 First Dates - Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I loved this combo in the Wedding Singer. I hated them in this.

That's it for now. I recorded You Got Served today and have high hopes for that.

ilya

01-23-2005, 01:18 AM

If you think THOSE are bad....err...you're right?

I haven't seen Out of Time but the others were horrid.

If you like Ben Stiller...Dodgeball doesn't suck quite as much as ACP. Although it doesn't begin to approach the,err, gold standard set by Zoolander.

RogerZBT

01-23-2005, 01:21 AM

Just saw The Village today. To call this a horrible movie, would be an insult to horrible movies. I will look back on my life less fondly as a result of seeing this movie.

Yeti

01-23-2005, 01:23 AM

Blasphemy Roger!

Tis a decent flick. The last twist though, not for me.

SlyAK

01-23-2005, 01:23 AM

[ QUOTE ]
50 First Dates - Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I loved this combo in the Wedding Singer. I hated them in this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I also love the wedding singer. I picked up 50 first dates on dvd for my wife for x-mas (we hadnt seen it at the theater). It was disappointing although not horrible, IMO.

Sly

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 01:25 AM

I'm gathering that by "horrible," we mean "movies that should have been at the very worst good," yet were worse than Meatballs 4 or Catwoman.

Therefore, I nominate Eyes Wide Shut.

ilya

01-23-2005, 01:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Blasphemy Roger!

Tis a decent flick. The last twist though, not for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was probably the only person in the theater who didn't see it coming. D'oh.
I agree, though, it wasn't *that* horrible.

PhatPots

01-23-2005, 01:29 AM

You Got Served obviously a bad movie.
Honey is perhaps one of the worst movies ever. No plot! Such a bad idea for a movie.

jakethebake

01-23-2005, 01:29 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Therefore, I nominate Eyes Wide Shut.

[/ QUOTE ]
I agree. Awful.

ilya

01-23-2005, 01:30 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You Got Served obviously a bad movie.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why "obviously"?

jakethebake

01-23-2005, 01:30 AM

Some one on the Books forum just recommended Shade as a good poker movie. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_2000Flushes

01-23-2005, 01:33 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Some one on the Books forum just recommended Shade as a good poker movie. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[/ QUOTE ]

I think OOT should invade the Books forum like they did QLC.

-2kF

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 01:35 AM

[ QUOTE ]

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Got Served obviously a bad movie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why "obviously"?

[/ QUOTE ]

When something is totally clear on its face, at first glance, and without a second thought, it's generally considered "obvious."

ThaSaltCracka

01-23-2005, 01:35 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Just saw The Village today. To call this a horrible movie, would be an insult to horrible movies. I will look back on my life less fondly as a result of seeing this movie.

[/ QUOTE ]The village is a horrible movie.

jakethebake

01-23-2005, 01:38 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just saw The Village today. To call this a horrible movie, would be an insult to horrible movies. I will look back on my life less fondly as a result of seeing this movie.

[/ QUOTE ]The village is a horrible movie.

[/ QUOTE ]
Samir Nagheenanajar: Yes. This is horrible, this idea.

ilya

01-23-2005, 01:43 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Got Served obviously a bad movie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why "obviously"?

[/ QUOTE ]

When something is totally clear on its face, at first glance, and without a second thought, it's generally considered "obvious."

[/ QUOTE ]

So...excuse me for asking this...but did you actually see it?

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 01:51 AM

Ok, I apologize for my previous sarcastic remark. I'm cranky.

Here's the thing: I have digital cable, and they showed the preview for this movie about 900,000 times.

From what I can gather, there's like, some teenaged street dance gangs, and they're like, white or something, but they, like talk like they're Flava Flav, and they have these dance-offs, and they say "You got SERVED" whenever one of the guys, uh, like, outdances one of the other guys, and, now that I think of it, they sound more like Vanilla Ice than Flava Flav.

Please explain to me how it can be anything other than "obvious" that this movie will suck. And I mean from all possible perspectives: cinematographically, screenplay, acting, redeeming social commentary-wise, etc.

I would rather have Joan Rivers into my home for dinner than watch this movie.

"Obvious."

Ulysses

01-23-2005, 02:05 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Honey is perhaps one of the worst movies ever. No plot! Such a bad idea for a movie.

[/ QUOTE ]

I watched Honey. Mekhi Phifer is cool and I love Jessica Alba. It was pretty much exactly what I expected - a stupid movie w/ Jessica Alba dancing in lots of hot outfits.

If you expected anything more from Honey than that movie delivered, well, your movie judgement is suspect.

The movies I listed in the initial post, as Rushmore mentioned, were movies that I had some expectation of actually being entertaining.

ilya

01-23-2005, 02:06 AM

My turn to fess up, I haven't seen it either. I did like the preview though and I'm planning on seeing it. Different strokes, I suppose. I think it looks fun & unpretentious. I like hip-hop dance, and the dance-off bits in the trailer look cool & impressive.
Yeah, the story's probably basic, but as long as it doesn't interfere with the dancing I can't imagine I'll care.
As far as social commentary...I prefer as little of that as possible in my Hollywood movies, since it tends to be either trite or reactionary.

Ulysses

01-23-2005, 02:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
and they have these dance-offs, and they say "You got SERVED" whenever one of the guys, uh, like, outdances one of the other guys

[/ QUOTE ]

If that doesn't sound sweet, I don't know what does. Perhaps the only plotline in recent history that sounds better on paper is Drumline, cuz in that they're out-drumming each other.

nothumb

01-23-2005, 02:24 AM

You don't have to see it. As they say in the 'hip hop community,' "Hov did that / so hopefully you won't have to go through that."

Hov being me, because I have a girlfriend that is really into dance. The acting in that movie is beyond bad, the plot is surprisingly terrible, etc. There is some sick breakdancing but if you're not a total fiend for that kind of stuff you will be gouging your own eyes out.

NT

ilya

01-23-2005, 02:33 AM

[ QUOTE ]
some sick breakdancing

[/ QUOTE ]

good enough for a rental

thanks for the warning, though

ArchAngel71857

01-23-2005, 02:34 AM

i like 50 first dayes. most likely because it takes place in hawaii and in cold weather its good to watch a movie that takes place in hawaii.

the forgotten and without a paddle are pretty bad.

-AA

RogerZBT

01-23-2005, 02:35 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Blasphemy Roger!

Tis a decent flick. The last twist though, not for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was probably the only person in the theater who didn't see it coming. D'oh.
I agree, though, it wasn't *that* horrible.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn't see it coming either... of course my brain wasn't really working as it was trying to tunnel out my ear canal to escape the pain.

Ray Zee

01-23-2005, 03:15 AM

since i am home sick after catching something from el diablo at dinner last week, i have been watching crap movies on starz.
i did get to see the si fi cult classic--skeleton in cadava cave. it was the worst movie i have ever seen. no contest.

but on starz this week they have- rabbit proof fence- on. and that is an australian film i talked about long ago that i found wonderful.

astroglide

01-23-2005, 03:20 AM

gf watched 50 first dates while i was on the computer in the living room so i 'mostly' saw it too and i thought it was good for the genre

Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!

01-23-2005, 03:26 AM

I liked gothika.....

Justin A

01-23-2005, 04:44 AM

I've seen all those except Gothika. I liked Out of Time, but other than that I agree that they sucked. Especially Along Came Polly.

thatpfunk

01-23-2005, 05:00 AM

I think I laughed out loud when the plot of Gothika actually revealed itself. So bad.

dsm

01-23-2005, 05:55 AM

Out Of http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Dodgeball (2004)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Glitter (2001)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Wolfen (1981)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Suspiria (1977)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif (overdubbed version)

private joker

01-23-2005, 06:00 AM

I liked Suspiria.

Anyway, worst movie ever made:

http://www.amler.com/personal/graphix/Event%20Horizon.jpg

Phoenix1010

01-23-2005, 06:18 AM

[ QUOTE ]
The village is a horrible movie.

[/ QUOTE ]

Second.

Phoenix1010

01-23-2005, 06:23 AM

"50 First Dates" = Poor man's "Groundhog Day". I thought it was on the better side of bad though.

Alobar

01-23-2005, 06:26 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The village is a horrible movie.

[/ QUOTE ]

Second.

[/ QUOTE ]

I liked the village

I also dont know why anyone would think a ben stiller movie would be good. I count on them being bad until proven otherwise. But I'm biased because he bugs the [censored] out of me, he can't act, and he isnt funny.

private joker

01-23-2005, 06:41 AM

[ QUOTE ]

I liked the village

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. I thought it was a pretty trenchant allegory for our times, and highly political. You'd have to be a Republican to dislike that film. How awesome was the metaphor for a closed-off society that refuses to acknowledge modern advancements and sticks to an outdated moral code? And how the elders control this society by denying us information and turning our relations to the outside world into an Us vs. Them, fear-drenched hatred... Good job, M. Night, stickin' it to George Dubya.

It amazes me how the obvious subtext of most good films goes totally over the heads of casual moveigoers who don't want to take the time to really wrestle with a film's themes on its own terms.

IronDragon1

01-23-2005, 06:42 AM

Batman and Robin was pretty terrible if I recall correctly

Phoenix1010

01-23-2005, 06:42 AM

I could understand why someone might like The Village. I'm sure it would make a good book. However, I don't really like paying ten bucks to see a horror movie that starts out almost scary, stops being remotely scary half way through, and then gets lamer and lamer as it nears the end. Way too many false alarms and not a single actual scare. As one reviewer put it, "All bluff with no cards." Guess I expected more of it since the Sixth Sense (another M. Night Shyamalan flick) is one of my favorite horror/general movies of all time.

Oh and Ben Stiller is generally not so great but I've still never seen a better drunk movie than Zoolander, and I drink a lot.

ThaSaltCracka

01-23-2005, 06:54 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

I liked the village

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. I thought it was a pretty trenchant allegory for our times, and highly political. You'd have to be a Republican to dislike that film. How awesome was the metaphor for a closed-off society that refuses to acknowledge modern advancements and sticks to an outdated moral code? And how the elders control this society by denying us information and turning our relations to the outside world into an Us vs. Them, fear-drenched hatred... Good job, M. Night, stickin' it to George Dubya.

It amazes me how the obvious subtext of most good films goes totally over the heads of casual moveigoers who don't want to take the time to really wrestle with a film's themes on its own terms.

[/ QUOTE ]
you read far to much into this horrible movie.

Reef

01-23-2005, 07:19 AM

[ QUOTE ]
I'm gathering that by "horrible," we mean "movies that should have been at the very worst good," yet were worse than Meatballs 4 or Catwoman.

Therefore, I nominate Eyes Wide Shut.

[/ QUOTE ]

Catwoman was HORRIBLE. But wtf man? Eyes wide shut? Did you even understand it?? Stanley Kubrick (sp?).. he's got quality sh!t.

kemystery

01-23-2005, 08:48 AM

I thought 'The Big Bounce' was nearly unwatchable, seems like I would like the book version of the script - but that movie wasn't really in the category of 'Blockbuster'. Although with Owen Wilson and Morgan Freeman, plus some hot chick, set in Hawaii - one might figure it a good flick - I turned it off.

I Thought The Clone Wars/Star Wars 5 was lame, Phantam Menace was cool but it also had similiar lame streaks. Lucas perhaps has lost a little of the magic (Howard the Duck?)

thatpfunk

01-23-2005, 09:02 AM

Ok, I want to know "what" Eyes Wide Shut is supposed to mean? What does it symbolize? What does it tell us about society? What went over my head?

Because the couple times I've watched it, it doesn't make any sense and accomplishes nothing. Please explain. And, fwiw, I consider myself to be very open about artisitic and thematic undertones.

dr. klopek

01-23-2005, 09:34 AM

Eyes Wide Shut
Johnny Mnemonic
What Dreams May Come
Farenheit 451
Star Wars 1&2 (and 3 if it's out)

Duke

01-23-2005, 09:35 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, I want to know "what" Eyes Wide Shut is supposed to mean? What does it symbolize? What does it tell us about society? What went over my head?

[/ QUOTE ]

You must have missed the hot orgies. Oh, and that scientologist chick's boob.

~D

thatpfunk

01-23-2005, 09:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
You must have missed the hot orgies. Oh, and that scientologist chick's boob.

~D

[/ QUOTE ]
See, thats the problem with movies like Eyes Wide Shut and Wild Things...

They are not good enough plot-wise to be a good movie, but there isn't enough sex to make them good porn. If I want to see a movie, I want to see a movie. If I want to watch porn, I'll watch porn. I feel unsatisfied after watching those two. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Pharity

01-23-2005, 09:55 AM

I think the village was cool. Just a little unbelievable ending. Must be Shyamalans 3rd best movie.

Pharity

01-23-2005, 10:00 AM

That is a common interpretation of the movie though.

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 10:14 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Eyes wide shut? Did you even understand it?? Stanley Kubrick (sp?).. he's got quality sh!t.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're right. I probably didn't understand it. Because any film whose point is to show the disparity between what is seen and what is not seen, between what is known and not known, well, it's just over my head. What I especially did not understand was Kubrick's insipid attempt to bring to light the terror involved in actually uncovering and existing inside a world other than one's own, in spite of the fact that we are curious beings at our core. It would seem, had I understood it, that Kubrick was trying to make the point that there is so much unseen, so much unknown, that in many cases, ignorance could be said to be bliss.

It would have appeared to me, had I understood it, that Kubrick was attempting the same thing that David Lynch so fantastically achieved in Blue Velvet; that is, you have a fairly clueless protagonist (McLaughlin, Cruise) who stumbles into something about which he was previously blissfully unaware. The character then dons his Sherlock Holmes hat and plays amateur detective, only to find that the director's entire point is basically "careful what you wish for," leaving the character stumbling around in a situation for which he was unprepared to cope. Kubrick compounds this by involving not only the stupid libertine secret society, but by examining the seemingly mundane interactions between this married couple (see the virtually unendurable pot-smoking scene). It would appear his point was that there are many dimensions to any human interaction, many of which are dark, some of which are unknowable.

The difference is, Kubrick's movie was nearly unwatchable, while Lynch's was easily the best film of 1986.

I just wish I understood either one of them, because I'm always on the lookout for "quality sh*t."

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 10:19 AM

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 10:24 AM

As for Event Horizon being the "worst movie ever made," it gets a reprieve for the cool videotaped journal thingys that end up showing glimpses of incredible carnage and terror.

And that stuff was only on the screen for maybe FOUR seconds, all told.

But still, a reprieve.

cjromero

01-23-2005, 11:14 AM

The worst movie I have ever seen is Random Hearts with Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas. It is the only movie that my wife and I have actually walked out on before the end.

Eyes Wide Shut was also awful.

MrFeelNothin

01-23-2005, 12:14 PM

I too would like to jump on the bandwagon of Village hatahs. And I lean far to the left politically. Even with private jokers reading of the movie, I'm not impressed.

However, in the realm of semi-scary movies, White Noise was far worse.
"1 in 12 EVPs are overtly threatening in nature" UGHH. Give me a break, the bad guys in this movie are 3 shadows that show up on fuzzy tv screens. And I could go on for hours about how badly it ended.

fnord_too

01-23-2005, 12:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Some one on the Books forum just recommended Shade as a good poker movie. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[/ QUOTE ]

I think OOT should invade the Books forum like they did QLC.

-2kF

[/ QUOTE ]

You are rapidly becoming my favorite OOT poster 2k.

sfer

01-23-2005, 03:11 PM

That's pretty disappointing Diablo. You should have stopped watching that crap years ago. You know better.

Ulysses

01-23-2005, 03:49 PM

[ QUOTE ]
That's pretty disappointing Diablo. You should have stopped watching that crap years ago. You know better.

[/ QUOTE ]

I know. I have a problem.

sfer

01-23-2005, 04:08 PM

The whole watching a overwhelmingly likely to be atrocious movie for a chance at watching a hot chick take her clothes off is a fine excuse for a 24 year old. But you know that you'll get to see nasing and whatever you might see is already up on the web anyway.

At least you didn't have a lame Will Smith movie on that list.

JinX11

01-23-2005, 04:14 PM

Eye of the Beholder, Ashley Judd, Ewan McGregor

Oh so bad.

Ulysses

01-23-2005, 04:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
The whole watching a overwhelmingly likely to be atrocious movie for a chance at watching a hot chick take her clothes off is a fine excuse for a 24 year old.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wish I had even that good an excuse. I actually thought each of those movies might be entertaining to some degree.

The only movie in this thread I watched just for the chick was Honey, which I knew would suck and I knew Jessica Alba didn't get naked in. In all of the others, the chick wasn't really even a significant factor in the decision to watch.

As I said, I have a problem.

private joker

01-23-2005, 05:52 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
It amazes me how the obvious subtext of most good films goes totally over the heads of casual moveigoers who don't want to take the time to really wrestle with a film's themes on its own terms.

[/ QUOTE ]

If this amazes you, you're not nearly as intelligent as you sound in your post.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure whether to take this as an insult or a compliment. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Mike Gallo

01-23-2005, 05:57 PM

I have not seen any of the movies on the list, and I still have not gone food shopping either.

Dynasty

01-23-2005, 06:00 PM

[ QUOTE ]

50 First Dates - Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I loved this combo in the Wedding Singer. I hated them in this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I liked 50 First Dates a lot.

The only movie I seriously considered walking out of the theatre when I saw it was Joe vs. the Volcano.

Mike Gallo

01-23-2005, 06:12 PM

My favorite scene of Blue Velvet

Dennis Hopper: What kind of beer would you like

Kyle Mclachlan: Heineken

Dennis Hopper: Heineken, [censored] that [censored]...Pabst Blue Ribbon

Mike Gallo

01-23-2005, 06:13 PM

Joe vs. the Volcano.

Did Tom Hanks play a guy with cancer in that movie?

Dynasty

01-23-2005, 06:23 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Joe vs. the Volcano.

Did Tom Hanks play a guy with cancer in that movie?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes (or some other illness).

Mike Gallo

01-23-2005, 06:30 PM

I vaguely remember it, its the one other bad Tom Hanks movie. Splash I did not care for either.

Volunteers and Bachelor Party I enjoyed a lot.

Blackjack

01-23-2005, 06:31 PM

Shade - That movie blew donkey dick.

I liked Along Came Polly! Funny as hell

I also liked 50 First Dates - it was pretty sad though but funny at the same time.

Dynasty

01-23-2005, 06:34 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I also liked 50 First Dates - it was pretty sad though but funny at the same time.

[/ QUOTE ]

One of the reasons I liked the film was that it had a happy ending but not the standard Hollywood happy ending.

The Adam Sandler/crude humor was sort of out of place. I'd guess that somebody wrote a romantic comedy and then it got "Sandlerized" with his normal comedy schtick.

sfer

01-23-2005, 07:16 PM

[ QUOTE ]
As I said, I have a problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

I watched Dogville in the theater. Everyone makes mistakes.

RogerZBT

01-23-2005, 07:25 PM

[ QUOTE ]
It amazes me how the obvious subtext of most good films goes totally over the heads of casual moveigoers who don't want to take the time to really wrestle with a film's themes on its own terms.

[/ QUOTE ]

The "theme" may have been lost in the horrible writing, terrible acting, lousy plot and even worst "twist"

Given his other works and what I've seen from him in interviews, IMO, it's much more likely that he just made a craptastic movie than one where the subtext is missed by most.

7ontheline

01-23-2005, 07:25 PM

I can't believe someone 'fessed up to watching "Glitter," even if it is in an anonymous internet forum.

Rushmore

01-23-2005, 09:17 PM

[ QUOTE ]
My favorite scene of Blue Velvet

Dennis Hopper: What kind of beer would you like

Kyle Mclachlan: Heineken

Dennis Hopper: Heineken, [censored] that [censored]...Pabst Blue Ribbon

[/ QUOTE ]

Another great beer line from Blue Velvet:

"Do you want me to pour the beer, Frank?"

"No, I want you to F*CK it! Hell yes, Raymond, POUR THE F*CKING BEER!!"

siccjay

01-23-2005, 09:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I liked Suspiria.

Anyway, worst movie ever made:

http://www.amler.com/personal/graphix/Event%20Horizon.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you serious? This movie kicks arse.

Losing all

01-23-2005, 09:45 PM

you want 16 hours of hell? watch these Steve king movies back to back- IT, The stand, langoliers, and oh sweet jesus "Golden years"

Truely horrible, and all in the 4 hour range.

Paluka

01-23-2005, 10:28 PM

I just wanted to chime in on Eyes Wide Shut. I think that if you saw this movie in a movie theatre rather than at home on a TV it makes a huge difference. I liked the movie a lot, if I had seen it at home for the first time I don't think it would have left the same impression. I think Kubrick does a lot of things that make his movies much much better on the big screen.

BottlesOf

01-23-2005, 10:29 PM

I ordered "Out of Time" On Demand last night, I stopped it after 5-10 minutes.

gavrilo

01-23-2005, 10:32 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

50 First Dates - Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. I loved this combo in the Wedding Singer. I hated them in this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I liked 50 First Dates a lot.

The only movie I seriously considered walking out of the theatre when I saw it was Joe vs. the Volcano.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn, thought for sure I would be the first one to chime this beauty in, this is IT!
Saw it in the movie theater however many years ago... words just cannot describe, almost worth a rental just to see how much it really sucks.

Losing all

01-23-2005, 10:41 PM

I watch several Kubrick movies over and over at home, they don't suck dong like eyes wide shut

YTV

01-23-2005, 11:02 PM

Get Carter
Orange County
Pursuit

Nottom

01-24-2005, 09:27 AM

Only movie I've considered walking out of was "Ready to Wear" (Prêt-à-Porter).

I can't even remember why it was so bad, but I remember hating it with a passion when I saw it. Even a bunch of naked supermodels didn't help this one.

kemystery

01-24-2005, 09:37 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Get Carter

[/ QUOTE ]

? - w/ Mel Gibson? That movie is called 'Payback'.

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 10:48 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Eye of the Beholder, Ashley Judd, Ewan McGregor

Oh so bad.

[/ QUOTE ]
Didn't she spend a lot of time neaked in that movie? I'd watch it again.

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 10:51 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Get Carter

[/ QUOTE ]
Original and remake were both good.

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 10:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Out Of http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gifhttp://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Dodgeball (2004)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Glitter (2001)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Wolfen (1981)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif

Suspiria (1977)-http://home.nyc.rr.com/pakspage/images/star.gif (overdubbed version)

[/ QUOTE ]
I thought Doidgeball was hilarious, mostly just because of Stiller's character. Wolfen was a great movie too.

tpir90036

01-24-2005, 10:58 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Johnny Mnemonic

[/ QUOTE ]
Nice. This is one of the few movies on me and my Brother's short list that received zero stars out of 5. We try to give all movies at least one star, but there are exceptions to every rule.

Rushmore

01-24-2005, 12:38 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Only movie I've considered walking out of was "Ready to Wear" (Prêt-à-Porter).

I can't even remember why it was so bad, but I remember hating it with a passion when I saw it. Even a bunch of naked supermodels didn't help this one.

[/ QUOTE ]

First of all, yes, this movie sucked HARD, even though the critics were all fellating themselves over it when it came out.

Second, and obviously MORE importantly, "naked supermodels" ain't gonna do it for most heterosexual males, as supermodels tend be built like 16-yr old boys, except with perky little breasts.

TALL 16-yr old boys with perky little breasts, to be sure, but still..

Wes ManTooth

01-24-2005, 01:01 PM

I thought The Blair Witch Project was a horrible movie... If someone gave me $60,000 to run around in the woods with a video camera, I think I could have come up with something better.

BeerMoney

01-24-2005, 01:05 PM

American Wedding (American Pie 3)

The Leprechaun

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 01:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I thought The Blair Witch Project was a horrible movie... If someone gave me $60,000 to run around in the woods with a video camera, I think I could have come up with something better.

[/ QUOTE ]

astroglide

01-24-2005, 01:23 PM

jesus christ dude get over yourself

Rushmore

01-24-2005, 01:36 PM

[ QUOTE ]
jesus christ dude get over yourself

[/ QUOTE ]

I deserved that.

The Yugoslavian

01-24-2005, 01:36 PM

Phantoms is the first ridiculously bad movie I've seen that comes to mind.

Yugoslav

Rick Diesel

01-24-2005, 01:41 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Eye of the Beholder, Ashley Judd, Ewan McGregor

Oh so bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll agree with this one. Easily the worst movie I have seen EVER!

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 01:47 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Eye of the Beholder, Ashley Judd, Ewan McGregor

Oh so bad.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll agree with this one. Easily the worst movie I have seen EVER!

[/ QUOTE ]
Nothing with Ashley judd naked is THAT bad. You're clearly gay.

johnnycakes

01-24-2005, 01:57 PM

The only movie I have ever walked out of was Something's Gotta Give.

I like to see movies from start to finish, even if they are bad, so I can form an opinion about them and be able to defend it without some jackass arguing about how "the ending was good and made it worth it."

But Something's Gotta Give was so amazingly boring, predictable and unfunny that I could not care any less what was going to happen in the rest of the movie. While I was sitting in the theater, I made a mental list of things I could be doing instead of putting effort into caring about this movie and waking my buttcheeks up, and every one of them ranked higher than "finish watching this crap."

fnord_too

01-24-2005, 02:02 PM

Dynasty

01-24-2005, 02:12 PM

[ QUOTE ]
...Something's Gotta Give was so amazingly boring, predictable and unfunny that I could not care any less what was going to happen in the rest of the movie.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will remember this movie for the rest of my life. During game 3 of the ALCS when my Red Sox were getting pounded without mercy by the Yankees, I couldn't bear to watch the carnage. So, I checked out what was on cable and saw Something's Gotta Give on HBO. I watched it while occassionally flipping back to the ALCS game (which incredibly got worse for the Sox as the night went on).

I thought it was okay. But, consider that I was in about as bad a mood as I've ever been in, I suppose anything remotely entertaining would look good.

JoeC

01-24-2005, 02:34 PM

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I actually started playing games on my cell phone while in the movie theatre.

LALDAAS

01-24-2005, 02:57 PM

DING!

I wasnt floored by this move but I thought it was good.

What I thought was great though is how many people were tricked and pissed off by the movie. This movie wouldnt surprize me if it winds up in high school english class for a major basis for symbolism.

James282

01-24-2005, 03:00 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Johnny Mnemonic

[/ QUOTE ]
Nice. This is one of the few movies on me and my Brother's short list that received zero stars out of 5. We try to give all movies at least one star, but there are exceptions to every rule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Me too. I literally think it's the worst movie ever made. As an example, I was watching it with a girl I had just started dating however long ago that was..and with 15 minutes left in the movie, we turned it off to watch a Seinfeld rerun. The only movie I ever deeply considered walking out of in a movie theatre was Deconstructing Harry.
-James

astroglide

01-24-2005, 03:48 PM

i liked something's gotta give too. only movie i've ever walked out on was a thin red line.

Shajen

01-24-2005, 03:54 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i liked something's gotta give too. only movie i've ever walked out on was a thin red line.

[/ QUOTE ]

I watched Thin Red Line two days after seeing Saving Private Ryan for the first time.

Maybe that's the reason I think it sucked so bad.

I wanted my $8.50 back, along with my 2.5 hours.

Benholio

01-24-2005, 03:58 PM

[ QUOTE ]
i liked something's gotta give too. only movie i've ever walked out on was a thin red line.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thin Red Line is the only movie I've ever walked out on also. God, it was painful trying to sit through that thing. Only halfway entertaining part was when woody harrelson's (?) character blew his own ass off.

johnnycakes

01-24-2005, 04:03 PM

The Thin Red Line is beautiful.
I would pay good money to see the rumored 6 hour first cut of the film.
Terrence Malick is a genius.

Saving Private Ryan is a bombastic piece of crap.

Shajen

01-24-2005, 04:10 PM

[ QUOTE ]
The Thin Red Line is beautiful.
I would pay good money to see the rumored 6 hour first cut of the film.
Terrence Malick is a genius.

Saving Private Ryan is a bombastic piece of crap.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lemme guess...art student?
/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Seriously, how can you say SPR is a "bombastic piece of crap"?

Seems you have your movies backwards: If it's a war movie you are looking for, look no farther than Saving Private Ryan. If it's a "Oh, look at the lighting in this scene, the use of the skyline as the lone soldier walks up it is absolutely brilliant!" then watch Thin Red Line.

Paluka

01-24-2005, 04:19 PM

[ QUOTE ]
If it's a war movie you are looking for, look no farther than Saving Private Ryan. If it's a "Oh, look at the lighting in this scene, the use of the skyline as the lone soldier walks up it is absolutely brilliant!" then watch Thin Red Line.

[/ QUOTE ]

If either movie was truly great you would be able to do both of these things.

Oski

01-24-2005, 04:21 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Along Came Polly - In fact, you could take certain scenes (bathroom scene for example) and stick them right into Something About Mary.

[/ QUOTE ]

A few years ago, an associate of mine told me his cousin wrote a scene from Something about Mary. Apparently, the guy wrote a bunch of funny scenes that did not relate to specific movies and had them shopped by his agent.

He wrote the scene where the dog gets electrocuted. (It is probably more correct to say that scene was based on his submitted scene).

I thought that was interesting as I had previously scenes were written for movies and not that they would accept ad hoc scenes.

Shajen

01-24-2005, 04:27 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If it's a war movie you are looking for, look no farther than Saving Private Ryan. If it's a "Oh, look at the lighting in this scene, the use of the skyline as the lone soldier walks up it is absolutely brilliant!" then watch Thin Red Line.

[/ QUOTE ]

If either movie was truly great you would be able to do both of these things.

[/ QUOTE ]

One is the gritty realistic portrayal of war.

The other is an artistic version of war.

To do both would be near impossible. There's nothing pretty about watching a man get a knife shoved through his chest.

B Dids

01-24-2005, 04:44 PM

I tried really hard like 3 times to like ATRL. It's really well shot and pretty to look at, but after the 3rd time a I fell asleep watching it- I realized that something was missing.

I'll co-sign Batman and Robin.

You Got Served is watchable only if you're seen the South Park Ep it spawned. Then it's non-stop commedy.

Pharity

01-24-2005, 05:00 PM

Aww Blair Witch is one of my favorites. Definitely the best in the genre (horror). It feels so real! And very good acting too!

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 05:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Aww Blair Witch is one of my favorites. Definitely the best in the genre (horror). It feels so real! And very good acting too!

[/ QUOTE ]
Its genre...horror movies made for under $300 with kids from your neighborhood.

Pharity

01-24-2005, 05:17 PM

Yes it is quite original! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

And awesome!

Wes ManTooth

01-24-2005, 05:41 PM

the acting was excellent... i only can compare it too the great acting performances in movies such as... Ben Affleck in Gigli... Mariah Carey in Glitter... and maybe any performance from Alex Baldwin.

those three stars from Blair Witch (whatever their names are) I hope they continue to have long, suggessive acting careers, in which they star in many movies.

moondogg

01-24-2005, 05:45 PM

[ QUOTE ]
the acting was excellent... i only can compare it too the great acting performances in movies such as... Ben Affleck in Gigli... Mariah Carey in Glitter... and maybe any performance from Alex Baldwin.

[/ QUOTE ]

Granted most of Alex Baldwin's performances suck, but Glengary Glenross cemented him as a awesome actor, even if for only 5 minutes.

Pharity

01-24-2005, 05:50 PM

aahh.. At least you could agree that the girl acts good?

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 05:51 PM

[ QUOTE ]
aahh.. At least you could agree that the girl acts good?

[/ QUOTE ]
no she really doesn't.

Tyler Durden

01-24-2005, 06:01 PM

Blair Witch was scary if you're frightened by the sounds of whispering voices and rustling leaves.

jakethebake

01-24-2005, 06:03 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Blair Witch was scary if you're frightened by the sounds of whispering voices and rustling leaves.

[/ QUOTE ]
Nice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Ricky Slade

01-24-2005, 06:22 PM

[ QUOTE ]
aahh.. At least you could agree that the girl acts good?

[/ QUOTE ]

She spent the entire movie bitching, moaning, and crying… is that good acting? All women that all the time any was.

TimM

01-24-2005, 06:24 PM

[ QUOTE ]
All women that all the time any was.

[/ QUOTE ]

Come again?

Pharity

01-24-2005, 06:36 PM

Ok, you're a pretty calm guy if you wouldn't be a little scared if you were in one of those guys shoes!

The Yugoslavian

01-24-2005, 07:15 PM

I'm pretty sure you could send a 5-year old out with a video camera for a couple of days and he'd come back with better material than the Blair Witch Project.

Seriously, the Blair Witch Project was just really, really, really bad. Not only that but there was a buildup for it!? Like it was a good and/or original movie?!?! The only thing original about it was how bad it was considering the hype.

Oh, and I forgot on my first comment on this thread that Waterworld was pretty bad too considering it was the most expensive movie ever made.

Yugoslav

LALDAAS

01-25-2005, 04:05 PM

I watched ENVY last night. That was a waste of 2 hours of my life i will never get back.

Ulysses

01-25-2005, 05:31 PM

The Core

Nottom

01-25-2005, 06:37 PM

I managed to get ahold of a bootleg copy of Blair Witch about a month before it hit main stream theaters. The buzz was basically just kind of starting. Everyone I know that saw the bootleg copy loved it, everyong I know that saw it in the theater thought it was crap.

I enjoyed it for what it was, but there was no way it could have lived up to the retarded hype that somehow it spawned.

offTopic

01-25-2005, 06:51 PM

Underworld - Genre-specific, but I'd heard positive things about this movie, and about Kate Beckinsale. This was a watch-checker after 15 minutes. After about the third time someone says, "Silence!", I was formulating potential drinking games. That chick doesn't really do it for me, either.

Liar, Liar - Made a ton of money, generally well-received...couldn't stand it.

Titanic - Ugh. The boat couldn't sink fast enough.

Star Wars Episode I - Episode II sucking wasn't a surprise after this one. All that was missing was product placement. Of course, I'll still blow $10 to see Episode III...

Ulysses

01-25-2005, 06:55 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Underworld - Genre-specific, but I'd heard positive things about this movie, and about Kate Beckinsale. This was a watch-checker after 15 minutes. After about the third time someone says, "Silence!", I was formulating potential drinking games. That chick doesn't really do it for me, either.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is the perfect movie for this thread. Vampire movie, Kate Beckinsale, fighting, weapons, badass outfits. How could this movie not rule? I was similarly disappointed, but did manage to get through this movie. I haven't seen it yet, but suspect I will feel exactly the same way about Van Helsing.

Kate Beckinsale not doing it for you, well, that I can't help you with. You're either gay or insane.