i'm stumped, i don;t really wanna play, but feel obligated...

[bholdr]

ok so there's this tiny little home game that one of my good freinds hosts- it's usually a 10$ buy NL game, just for sh**s&giggles, or so they say... but they seem to take it waaaaayyyy too seriously, more seriously than i take a 100$ buy, for example.

i used to go every week, because i like the company and the beer drinking, and we're all pretty good freinds sans poker anyway, and hang out at other times. but after a few weeks, i stopped getting invited. (i kinda crushed the game- freakin' hard not to! and they know about my oneline play). i'm ok with this, i don't blame 'em, hell, i get up and go if there's better players than me at a table. though, i do miss the social aspect of it.

now they've invited me back, with the stipulation that it's "just a freindly game" WTF? i feel like i'd be insulting them if i don't show up. do i go and deliberatly lose? what does that mean "just a freindly game"- like they're asking me not to bring my A game! maybe i'll just get really drunk and see if they can win then. the money doesn't matter to me in the slightest- i am tempted to go and just piss money, up to the whole 80 or so dollars i've won in this game.

i think part of the problem is that we've all been skiing, climbing, surfing (just started that one), riding together for years, and our abilities there are pretty evenly matched- we are all very good, and thus we are VERY competitive in general. this may have translated to the poker table, where i am far better than anyone else (not tooting my own horn here, they're all TERRIBLE). i tried to help- i cut and pasted a little 'begginer poker faq' together with enough advice in it to keep 'em afloat in most games, and brought it to the game "hey, look what i pulled off the net, anyone want one?". they all read it and got a little better...

<sigh> this had kinda devolved into just a rant, but thanks for reading it anyway. i'm currently looking for an excuse not to go, i wanna call back and be like "sorry loooosers, but i have a date!" but that would make me a total loooooser, unless i can get a date. i'm working on it.

kuytdufiyil75 GHRuy <banging my head on keyboard>

[sin808]

go..play..drink..5th or 6th hand in, irregardless of what you are dealt, cap every street...while shouting 'GAMBOOOL!!'. Do that once an hour until you are so drunk you can't stand. Don't forget to straddle every orbit. If you still manage to win and/or upset them playing like that they probably are taking the game too seriously.

Or, let them know you feel like they are taking it too seriously and that you don't get the impression while playing that it's a friendly little game. You aren't comfortable playing where you aren't wanted (gamewise).

Or, don't bring your A-game. If it's among friends and not a poorly disguised pissing match then I don't see the need to bring your best game. Loosen up and have fun, be a fish for a night or something.

When my friends and I had a home game I don't think anyone brought even their D game. It was usually just to get together and have a good time.

[splashpot]

Sometimes I trying playing a couple hands blind here and there. I'll pretend to look at my cards just so they don't come betting at me like crazy. But I won't look and try to read everyone else's hand. Good practice for reading people.

[KungFuSandwich]

Try using a little play I like to call the "bluff call" When you think someones bluffing call them down with as little as 3 high. The satisfaction of making the right read is better than winning the pot. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[AgentBishop]

This has happened to me recently. I stopped getting invited to my local game after a few crushings. Turning 20 in to 280 was the last time I played until recently. This last time i played they all seem to be taking shots at me with huge raises, in relation to pot size, and a lot of all-ins when Im involved. My neighbor has told me that a couple of them said they were "coming after me." It doesn't bother me that they are "coming after me" so to speak, I just don't know if its much fun trying to deal with all that at a home game. I mean fun is the whole reason I play there anyway and if its not fun for them or me, then why play? Maybe its just me but I don't really like the all-in crap shoots like that.

[daryn]

just show up and play em hard.

[Lottery Larry]

why don't you ask them what "friendly game" means to them?

[jtr]

What kind of income level are these guys on? You say it's a $10 buy-in -- are there a lot of rebuys typically? It just seems really strange to me that people are genuinely getting upset about your tendency to win in such a low stakes game.

As another poster said, ask them what they mean by a "friendly game". Seems to me that a friendly game means modest stakes that everyone's comfortable with and a good atmosphere. As long as those two conditions hold true, most people I know wouldn't get mad that a certain player tended to do well. If their egos were hurt, they'd study and get better. If they were genuinely playing for sh**s and giggles, they wouldn't care. I think you need to ask your friends straight out what the problem is. Jeez, maybe lower the stakes still further if that's what it takes to get them to relax. And on the other side, assuming the $10 is trivial money to you, and that you're not driving to the game, I'd suggest getting hammered while you play.

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
I'd suggest getting hammered while you play.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is always good advice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif Seriously though, I know that sounds silly, but this is actually an interesting topic I've been wondering about for a while. I find I play as well, if not sometimes better, when I "tie on a good one." It's not like I am just running over my fishy friends either, I play with a lot of pretty solid players. I play a lot of tournaments, so it's at a point where it can be pretty mechanical for me, and I just don't let the booze affect it. It's supposed to loosen up your play, right, but I think instead it loosens up my thinking, where it helps me not get emotionally attached to a hand - I'm drunk and enjoying myself, I know I'll have another hand soon, so I just don't care. It loosens up my folding ability, but also allows me to play a little more aggressively when I think I probably have the best of it. Basically, I play more by instinct I guess...?

Does any of this make sense or am I just rambling?

[The Armchair]

Bring beer and a pizza.

No one will care if you take their $10 if you bring food and drink.

[HopeydaFish]

These guys sound pretty pathetic. Not only is losing $10 a big deal to them, but they can't take getting beaten by someone who they know going into the game is a better player than they are. Rather than looking at beating you as a challenge, they've given up on defeating you legitimately and instead want *you* to play down to their levels.

That being said, are you sure it isn't your demeanor *after* beating them that they're upset about? Do you show them up after you've won, or are you a gracious winner? A comment like "it's just a friendly game" is usually made when someone is acting like a jerk, and not so much when someone is playing well without the jerkiness to boot.

[TheCroShow]

if this is just a "friendly" game, i suggest this...the buy in is $10? dedicate half the pot to beer or pizza (i recommend pizza) and the other half can be split between the top 2 finishers. i was in the same position, but guess what? i'm the guy with the chips..so we did this for 2 games and then went back to the regular $10 buy in tourney style game.

[Hop Pocket]

I would have a hard time doing this, but if you can stomach it I would throw a couple hands (that aren't huge but noticable) to your friends with a "damn, missed again!" and just let them feel good about it.

If that means you'll keep getting invited back, and because you are having fun at these games, it probably does make sense to lose a small number of hands periodically. Chalk it up to entertainment cost.

Now, if it were a bigger game, screw all that. Those people of course are there to rob you.

[jtr]

[ QUOTE ]
That being said, are you sure it isn't your demeanor *after* beating them that they're upset about?

[/ QUOTE ]

Interesting point, Hopey. Original poster, are you guilty of this?

I have a friend, a fairly serious player and an otherwise very nice guy, who was on the verge of no longer getting invited to home games for a while. He had developed some habits like leaping up from his chair and shouting "Jurassic park!" after winning a big hand. I don't think he meant to be an ass, he was just letting enthusiasm get the better of him...

(Hey, LB, are you reading this? /images/graemlins/wink.gif )

So yes, if the original poster is giving snide strategy tips or just generally gloating in any way (not saying he is) then he shouldn't be surprised by the response.

[jtr]

Hmm... drinking as a +EV strategy, Ray? I want to reject the idea out of hand, but it sounds just crazy enough to work.

When I was a complete novice I'm sure drinking wouldn't have been a good idea, but I do find now that I am not a complete idiot at the tables, a couple of beers (or even more than a couple) will cause me to cling tightly to the ABC play I've had drummed into me, as I don't want the embarrassment of losing a lot of money while drunk. This in turn stops me from indulging in fancy play syndrome. So it might actually help. I'm not sure that you mean the same thing, however.

Still, probably better all round to just be a sober player who doesn't waste time on fancy play syndrome.

[Slow Play Ray]

[ QUOTE ]
Hmm... drinking as a +EV strategy, Ray? I want to reject the idea out of hand, but it sounds just crazy enough to work.

[/ QUOTE ]

It has it's advantages if you are a "good" drunk. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[ThinkQuick]

On playing drunk.

I guess at the point where your play is mechanical, you can get by mostly fine.
I just think I would miss a lot of helpful information if my mind was depressed by alcohol. I mean now that your play is mechanical, you can earn extra pots and save bets by learning and remembering the betting patterns and tells of your opponents. Now you can pay extra special attention to tricky hands and situations, instead of letting your instinct cause you to just get away from them easy or be overly agressive.