My Wifes boss is hitting on her

[Zoltri]

For the last 6 months my wife has told me of 3 instances of sexual harrasment. He apparently gets too personal with his all-female staff as he tends to get too handsy and suggests inappropriate sexual comments. My wife has told him to back off and he does for a short period of time but the bastard always falls back to his old habits. She has told me the problem is not serious and there are a couple of other women he really has his put attention to.

It pisses me off because I would like to go down to her work and beat the snot out of him.

[cardcounter0]

probably better to do it after work, off company property.
/images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Is there enough cash for a lawsuit? I vote for the husbandly intimidation with another job ready to go.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
For the last 6 months my wife has told me of 3 instances of sexual harrasment. He apparently gets too personal with his all-female staff as he tends to get too handsy and suggests inappropriate sexual comments. My wife has told him to back off and he does for a short period of time but the bastard always falls back to his old habits. She has told me the problem is not serious and there are a couple of other women he really has his put attention to.

It pisses me off because I would like to go down to her work and beat the snot out of him.

[/ QUOTE ]
I would tell my wife that I don't like it. And that she needs to either handle it herself more harshly...put an end to it once and for all. Or I would.

[Wake up CALL]

It would make more sense to either gather evidence, then sue the company and the manager or encourage your wife to cooperate and get a sizable salary increase. Either of these will be more productive than being jailed for assault and battery.

[LALDAAS]

Sue his ass.

Beat the snot out of him.

In no piticular order.

[ChristinaB]

The lawsuit idea could be a winner here.

Is she relating these stories to her friends(witnesses)? You don't count since you are her spouse.

Talk to a good harrassment lawyer for the proper planning to set the trap. Lawsuits pay much better than poker ever will.

[BeerMoney]

[ QUOTE ]
My wife has told him to back off


[/ QUOTE ]

It should never even get this far....... Tell her to report it to his boss if he has one. She should gather all of the troops, and the company should get rid of this chump. If they don't, and he doesn't stop, you should kick his ass, and/or sue.

[Rick Diesel]

Slightly different situation, but my wife was getting harrassed by a cooworker. He used to complain to her about his wife constantly and she would fake sympathy for him and all that crap. Anyway, one day he sent her an email in which he asked her if they were ever going to hook up.

I took the initiative to go to her work on that Friday, pulled the guy aside, and told him that if he ever talks to my wife again, I will beat the living f*ck out of him.

My wife told me that he never even said another word to her, and he quit within the next month.

Problem solved.

[Shajen]

Is this guy the boss of the entire company? If so, nothing short of recording his lewd behavior and suing will do.

If he isn't the owner, take it above his head. If the person above him won't listen, go above them. Sexual harassment in the work place is something that I wouldn't put up with.

Alternately, you could try out my chipper/shredder idea from the 5yr old thread.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Try to avoid violence if you can. (In this situation, I don't know if I could or not, to be honest) Also, make sure she has another job lined up just in case. But if it goes that far, you have an awesome case for suing.

Good luck man.

[LALDAAS]

hmmm Black mail.

[Zoltri]

Here is the situation.
This guy owns a bar and my wife is a waitress.
The thing is I own a bar as well and this guy knows me. My wife and I have tried to work together at my place but we always argue and nearly broke us up once.

She has pleaded with me not to do anything because as she points out she didn't have to tell me. She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Is there a reason she can't go work at another place? Does she have some huge amount of seniority here that she gets all the good shifts or maybe the tips are for some reason better at this place than anywhere else?

[Nagoo81]

Its a bar eh? What can you do? And he's the guy in charge.

This isn't particularly a "business" environment.

Here is what you do: Set up a softball game a la Cheers vs Gary's Pub and whoever wins becomes the best bar in Boston.

If that doesn't work, sue him for all the Maraschino cherries he owns.

[Zoltri]

The money is good.

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is the situation.
This guy owns a bar and my wife is a waitress.
The thing is I own a bar as well and this guy knows me. My wife and I have tried to work together at my place but we always argue and nearly broke us up once.

She has pleaded with me not to do anything because as she points out she didn't have to tell me. She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be passive agressive:

Call:

board of health

Better business

Send under age girls in and call the cops

Im sure we cant continue the list and the wife will never know it was you.

[BeerMoney]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is the situation.
This guy owns a bar and my wife is a waitress.


[/ QUOTE ]

Oh.. That kind of changes things.. Isn't this typical bar behavior? Just kidding.

The fact that the guy knows you would piss me off. Just tell her to go work somewhere else, and move on.

[tpir90036]

Well you can either:

1) Try to live with the staus quo.
2) Confront him.
3) Have your wife file an official complaint with the EEOC (http://www.eeoc.gov/types/sexual_harassment.html).

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

I would say that yes, she did have to tell you as this is very much your business. Any approach here is going to be jeopardizing her position, so it's tough. Either you have to just take it or go somewhere else. I'm not sure a lawsuit is going to do a whole lot for you unless he's downright just groping the women. I guess she just has to be more forceful about not taking any of his [censored] and encourage the other girls to do the same. If all of a sudden, she's getting crappy/fewer shifts, then I guess she'll have to go elsewhere.

[Zoltri]

[ QUOTE ]
The fact that the guy knows you would piss me off.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is what bugs me more than anything.
What is it with some guys? I would never do this to someone I know.

[Toro]

[ QUOTE ]
The money is good.

[/ QUOTE ]

If your wife is telling you about this, then it is bothering her. Don't let the money influence you. She's not happy there and should leave. There are other places she can work where the money is good.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The fact that the guy knows you would piss me off.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is what bugs me more than anything.
What is it with some guys? I would never do this to someone I know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or someone I DON'T know. Hitting on someone's wife is wrong. period.

[jcx]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is the situation.
This guy owns a bar and my wife is a waitress.
The thing is I own a bar as well and this guy knows me. My wife and I have tried to work together at my place but we always argue and nearly broke us up once.

She has pleaded with me not to do anything because as she points out she didn't have to tell me. She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not putting down your wife's profession at all, but bar waitress should not be that difficult of a job to come by. Can't she just go work somewhere else?

[Zoltri]

She makes about $700/wk clear(mostly tips).
For her profession that is pretty good and she likes the girls she works with and its close to home. As someone pointed out, in this business you should expect this kind of thing and who is to say the next job would be better.

[drewjustdrew]

There are a lot of violent people out there based on the redneckish responses I have read. I don't see why you are that upset. You have an attractive wife who is obviously devoted to you. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have said a word. I may sound a little "men are from mars" faggish here, but she probably doesn't want you to solve her problem. She just wants you to listen and understand. She is showing you that she is faithful to you, even though she has opportunities.

There are lots of jerks out there who don't respect other people's marriages. You don't need to risk jail time.

If this really concerned her, I'm sure she would be more vocal about it. At that point, I would suggest gathering evidence for a lawsuit, wearing a wire, etc., since there is no Human Resources department to report to. The important thing to prove would be that she let him know his behavior was viewed as inappropriate by her.

It seems she is able to handle herself though since she had the courage to tell him off once, and I wouldn't worry about it unless it starts affecting her work shifts/responsibilities.

[Zoltri]

Good post Drew.
I concur 100%.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
There are a lot of violent people out there based on the redneckish responses I have read. I don't see why you are that upset. You have an attractive wife who is obviously devoted to you. If she wasn't, she wouldn't have said a word. I may sound a little "men are from mars" faggish here, but she probably doesn't want you to solve her problem. She just wants you to listen and understand. She is showing you that she is faithful to you, even though she has opportunities.

There are lots of jerks out there who don't respect other people's marriages. You don't need to risk jail time.

If this really concerned her, I'm sure she would be more vocal about it. At that point, I would suggest gathering evidence for a lawsuit, wearing a wire, etc., since there is no Human Resources department to report to. The important thing to prove would be that she let him know his behavior was viewed as inappropriate by her.

It seems she is able to handle herself though since she had the courage to tell him off once, and I wouldn't worry about it unless it starts affecting her work shifts/responsibilities.

[/ QUOTE ]

Of course this is the mature response. Everyone is a foot taller and 30lbs heavier on the net man.

One thing though, as a married man, I certainly do not care whatsoever about her trust in this instance. That's implied, because she told you about it. I DO NOT trust the jerk that's hitting on her. I don't think the line is too far from sexual harassment to attempted rape, and I can tell you I will do anything to protect my wife from harm. It's part of the deal of being married.

[DesertCat]

Negotiate with him directly. She should get the best shifts, and a base pay increase, in exchange for the hookup. And weekly bonus based on the number of her "performances". You don't have to put it into writing, but let him know as the pimp in this arrangement, that you'll be strictly enforcing the spirit of the agreement.

[drewjustdrew]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think the line is too far from sexual harassment to attempted rape.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is an enormous leap. He has not even reached stalker status in my mind. I understand a better safe than sorry attitude, but you will end up living in a fallout shelter.

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think the line is too far from sexual harassment to attempted rape.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is an enormous leap. He has not even reached stalker status in my mind. I understand a better safe than sorry attitude, but you will end up living in a fallout shelter.

[/ QUOTE ]

My point was stop it before it ever gets the chance to escalate to something that's less than harmless.

[Zoltri]

[ QUOTE ]
Negotiate with him directly. She should get the best shifts, and a base pay increase, in exchange for the hookup. And weekly bonus based on the number of her "performances". You don't have to put it into writing, but let him know as the pimp in this arrangement, that you'll be strictly enforcing the spirit of the agreement.

[/ QUOTE ]
Shut the fvck up as$hole.

[mmcd]

It pisses me off because I would like to go down to her work and beat the snot out of him.

Do you have any friends that would be well-suited for this course of action (i.e. don't really care about getting arrested or too scary/dangerous for the guy to think about talking to the cops)?

If so, I think an all expenses paid 1 month vacation to the intensive care unit at your local hospital is warranted for this guy.

[Bluffoon]

Best response yet.

Be supportive. Let your wife know you are there for her if she wants your help. Also let her know that you are all for her quitting if she is uncomfortable in that environment, even if it means some lifestyle changes. Be secure enough to let her handle the situation unless she asks for your help.

[drewjustdrew]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think the line is too far from sexual harassment to attempted rape.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is an enormous leap. He has not even reached stalker status in my mind. I understand a better safe than sorry attitude, but you will end up living in a fallout shelter.

[/ QUOTE ]

My point was stop it before it ever gets the chance to escalate to something that's less than harmless.

[/ QUOTE ]

By not allowing herself to be harrassed, she probably already did that. If it escalates or continues, then by all means, step in and take action. I still don't think that action is to kick his ass. Probably getting her to find a new job would be the civilized reaction. If he kicked the guy's ass, nothing good can come of it. Her work environment will not improve.

[fnord_too]

Have her doccument everthing. Most companies have a very strong sexual harrasment policy. You probably have a law suit if you want it, and at the very least could get the guy fired.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is the situation.
This guy owns a bar and my wife is a waitress.
The thing is I own a bar as well and this guy knows me. My wife and I have tried to work together at my place but we always argue and nearly broke us up once.

She has pleaded with me not to do anything because as she points out she didn't have to tell me. She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]
Should have read more before I posted. Getting him fired is out but a law suit is very viable, she just needs to doccument everything.

[nicky g]

Send your step-son to beat him up. Then whoever loses the fight or goes to jail, you're happy.

[Daniel Hoerr]

Tough situation. My wife's boss is screwing one of my wife's equals (director in a hotel, 3rdish in command) and she ends up with sexual harrassment from the other angle - She's NOT screwing him, so she doesn't get the preferential treatment her equal gets. She gets very frustrated, but I've told her, either you take something like that ALL THE WAY up the flagpole, or you have to bite your tongue and weigh the conciquences of causing commotion. Sucks.

And by the way, Patrick del Poker Grande, that's the best avatar I've seen in a while! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Shajen]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I don't think the line is too far from sexual harassment to attempted rape.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this is an enormous leap. He has not even reached stalker status in my mind. I understand a better safe than sorry attitude, but you will end up living in a fallout shelter.

[/ QUOTE ]

My point was stop it before it ever gets the chance to escalate to something that's less than harmless.

[/ QUOTE ]

By not allowing herself to be harrassed, she probably already did that. If it escalates or continues, then by all means, step in and take action. I still don't think that action is to kick his ass. Probably getting her to find a new job would be the civilized reaction. If he kicked the guy's ass, nothing good can come of it. Her work environment will not improve.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, will you please stop injecting thought and logic into this conversation? WTF is wrong with you?

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

NH

[Reef]

[ QUOTE ]
Sue his ass.

Beat the snot out of him.

In no piticular order.

[/ QUOTE ]
what he said

[CrazyEyez]

[ QUOTE ]
She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]
Did you tell her that you feel this way? Ask her how she'd feel if one of your waitresses was hitting on you. Good bet she wouldn't be very happy about it. If she still insists you don't take action, then bite the bullet if you trust that she has the situation more or less under control.
Maybe make the occasional pop-in for a drink?

[drewjustdrew]

Seemed like a serious question. You get a few hyper- aggressive lunatics giving advice that preys on emotions and there could be trouble. Ya never know the original posters ability to disseminate information.

Besides, when I get my afternoon talk-show, I don't want someone digging dirt up on me recommending a good ass-kicking. Although I heard Springer is working his way out of the trailer-trash market...

[Zoltri]

[ QUOTE ]
Good post Drew.
I concur 100%.

[/ QUOTE ]
I already confirmed my thoughts on this matter.
What are you trying to say? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

[Jacks Up]

Gather lots of evidence and then consult an attorney.

Sexual harassment laws are very strict in this country and you can make a bundle.

Don't beat him up. That will hurt your lawsuit's prospects.

Jacks Up

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
She has pleaded with me not to do anything because as she points out she didn't have to tell me. She likes her independance and I respect that but this is making me feel stupid.

[/ QUOTE ]

Chicks are so dumb.

[jimymat]

In all of my life experiences violence has solved over 90% of my problems. Start [censored] with his home life. Get some girl to start calling his house in the middle of the night asking for him. Send planned parent hood information to his house addressed to him. Find out where he parks his car and [censored] with it. Just dont let him know where its coming from. Guys like that need to be put in check real quick. Since nobody has done it yet the duty falls to you. The time you spend worrying about this you could be solving the problem.

[jimymat]

Another note. Suing is for pussies that are to afraid to handle there problems. You are going to pay an attorney thousands of dollars and get nothing in return. I live in Kansas City, if you need help with this PM me. This guy is a piece of grade A-1 [censored]. I live for this kinda stuff. Have a nice day /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Jim Kuhn]

[ QUOTE ]
Slightly different situation, but my wife was getting harrassed by a cooworker. He used to complain to her about his wife constantly and she would fake sympathy for him and all that crap. Anyway, one day he sent her an email in which he asked her if they were ever going to hook up.

I took the initiative to go to her work on that Friday, pulled the guy aside, and told him that if he ever talks to my wife again, I will beat the living f*ck out of him.

My wife told me that he never even said another word to her, and he quit within the next month.

Problem solved.

[/ QUOTE ]

I would send Rick over to her workplace to 'have a little talk with the guy'. How big are you Rick?

[MarkL444]

I think warn him one more time. Let him know if he does it again he will be sued. Maybe all of these women can get together and do this. By doing it as a group they are less likely to be taken advantage of in any way for standing up (i.e. fired). Should really change his ways. If not, sue away.

[eric5148]

You need to show the guy this. (http://www.ebaumsworld.com/sexharassmentvideo.html)

[Zoltri]

[ QUOTE ]
In all of my life experiences violence has solved over 90% of my problems. Start [censored] with his home life. Get some girl to start calling his house in the middle of the night asking for him. Send planned parent hood information to his house addressed to him. Find out where he parks his car and [censored] with it. Just dont let him know where its coming from. Guys like that need to be put in check real quick. Since nobody has done it yet the duty falls to you. The time you spend worrying about this you could be solving the problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

You dug this up from 3 days ago to give a stupid ass response like that?

Get a life you f*cking loser.