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View Full Version : An unusual NBA contest...


SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:23 PM
You know the contest where they take a random fan at an NBA game and have them shoot a half-court shot for $1 million?

Let's say they change the contest up a bit. One randomly selected fan gets to play the NBA player of his choice in a game of 1-on-1. The game goes to 21 points by 3s and 2s. Loser's outs. Each point you score is worth $10,000. If you win the game outright, you get $1 million on top of the $210,000.

Who do you choose to play against, and why?

Personally, I think I'd choose Greg Ostertag, or someone like him, for a couple reasons.

1) With loser's outs, you aren't so worried about picking someone that you might be able to stop on defense, because you'll at least get 7 possessions to try and score.

2) I belive that a slow tall guy would be the worst at defending me (I'm 6'1" and about 170). I would either get wide open 3-pointers, or be able to drive past him for layups.

Obviously, with winner's outs, my strategy would change greatly. I'd probably pick someone like Earl Boykins, whom I could force to shoot jumpers by playing soft D, and hope he misses a few times.

Thoughts?

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:26 PM
I think Ostertag would pwn you easily, especially on offense.

CCx
01-12-2005, 07:27 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I think Ostertag would pwn you easily, especially on offense.

[/ QUOTE ]

Agreed, and how the hell are you going to shoot three pointers over a 7 foot tall guy with you being a foot shorter? He may lead the game in blocks.

Clarkmeister
01-12-2005, 07:28 PM
I don't care how soft you played D, Boykins would get layups on you essentially at will.

Sponger15SB
01-12-2005, 07:28 PM
[ QUOTE ]

2) I belive that a slow tall guy would be the worst at defending me (I'm 6'1" and about 170). I would either get wide open 3-pointers, or be able to drive past him for layups.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ha!

They could block your shots from inside of the key while you're shooting 3's

I'm not quite sure who I'm gonna say yet though.


My dad once got picked from the crowd at a summer league game for a shot, except it was from the opposite 3 point line, and it was for a car.

Some NBA scrub guys were showing him how it was done because he only got one shot, and I think in like 10 tries they hit the backboard once. Needless to say he missed horribly.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:29 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I think Ostertag would pwn you easily, especially on offense.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree that Ostertag will score every time he touches the ball.

However, I've played against 7 foot tall guys before, and if they come out far enough to block my three, I'll have a dunk or layup.

[censored]
01-12-2005, 07:30 PM
Yeah the thing about the speed "advantage" is that you have to be capable of dribbling faster enough with control, than he is capable of running.

bosoxfan
01-12-2005, 07:31 PM
The worst player in the NBA is still a great player. Against a recreational player it would be an embarrassment.

Sponger15SB
01-12-2005, 07:32 PM
[ QUOTE ]
The worst player in the NBA is still a great player. Against a recreational player it would be an embarrassment.

[/ QUOTE ]

Here we go, the worst player on the worst team....

http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/players/3641/career

Lonnie Baxter, I own you!

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:32 PM
have you ever played against someone who can dunk easily? Or atleast someone who is pretty good at basketball?

I don't think there is a single NBA player I could score more than 5 points on in a game of 21, and I don't consider myself horrible at basketball.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:33 PM
[ QUOTE ]
They could block your shots from inside of the key while you're shooting 3's

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, see, I figured I'd get replies like this.

Do you see him blocking Damon Stoudamire's 3's from inside the key?

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:34 PM
Have you ever seen Lonnie Baxter? He's a [censored] monster.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:35 PM
[ QUOTE ]
have you ever played against someone who can dunk easily? Or atleast someone who is pretty good at basketball?

I don't think there is a single NBA player I could score more than 5 points on in a game of 21, and I don't consider myself horrible at basketball.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, and yes.

I clearly am not saying I would win. I just think I'd have the best chance of scoring the most $10,000 points against Ostertag.

WEASEL45
01-12-2005, 07:37 PM
Darko Milicic
he probably forgot how to play by now.

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:37 PM
It would have to be someone like a version of Chris Mullin without the jumper. Think of the least athletic medium sized guy in the league - or Darko.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Have you ever seen Lonnie Baxter? He's a [censored] monster.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, for comparison, I think Lonnie would shut me out.

I wouldn't even try to guard him... he'd obliterate me.

I wouldn't really guard Ostertag either.... just maybe try to steal the ball and let him have dunk after dunk.

Sponger15SB
01-12-2005, 07:38 PM
Career totals
Stl Blk
0.2 0.4

Eh. It was the quickest person I could find.


Actually maybe I'll take Darko, I'll even spot him 5 points.

edit - I swear I didn't see the other response, so I still want credit for this joke

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:38 PM
really, this is an interesting question though. I really think I would take Shawn Bradley. I just wouldn't drive on him. I bet I could press him too, as he really sucks at dribbling, and I could probably get a few steals.

Bradley is my pick.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:39 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I don't care how soft you played D, Boykins would get layups on you essentially at will.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I don't really think I could stop him at all, but who else am I gonna stop? Loser's outs are clearly preferable in this game.

[censored]
01-12-2005, 07:39 PM
I would pick the best player available. I suck at basketball and would get owned by anybody so I might well have it be somebody great.

college_boy
01-12-2005, 07:41 PM
I think the three point strategy is flawed. NBA threes are too hard to hit. If it were the college line then then slowest big man would probably be the best opponent. Although I think would go with "Mad Dog" Mark Madsen.

Rick Diesel
01-12-2005, 07:41 PM
which is what anyone who played high school b-ball would be able to easily do against Ostertag.

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:41 PM
I got it - Gugliotta - Slow white guy who can't shoot anymore and has serious health issues.

Sponger15SB
01-12-2005, 07:42 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Although I think would go with "Mad Dog" Mark Madsen.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is stupid because Madsen would chew you up and spit you out on D

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:44 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I would pick the best player available. I suck at basketball and would get owned by anybody so I might well have it be somebody great.

[/ QUOTE ]me too, I change my pick to Shaq, now that would be sick, plus he seems like a funny ass guy to play.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:44 PM
[ QUOTE ]
It would have to be someone like a version of Chris Mullin without the jumper. Think of the least athletic medium sized guy in the league - or Darko.

[/ QUOTE ]

See, I don't think you want a medium sized guy. Those guys are way faster and stronger than they look.

Ostertag, however, is genuinely slow. His one asset is being monstrously tall and big. He could not defend a smaller player with any skill on the perimeter.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:46 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I got it - Gugliotta - Slow white guy who can't shoot anymore and has serious health issues.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great pick. Especially if I can spike his Gatorade with ephedra.

college_boy
01-12-2005, 07:46 PM
No he wouldn't, and he can't hit layups.

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:48 PM
[ QUOTE ]
No he wouldn't, and he can't hit layups.

[/ QUOTE ]Madsen would tear you up man.

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:48 PM
First play, I just give him a shot to the kidney and it's on.

Rick Diesel
01-12-2005, 07:48 PM
The key would be to go against someone who is really slow, and doesn't hustle at all. If you are going to be shooting threes, there will be some long rebounds that you want to have at least a chance of getting.

I go with Mark Blount. He hustles the least of any player in the NBA.

I think that Darko would be a mistake, as it would be the first action he has seen in such a long time, that he might actually try his hardest.

What about a fatass like Tractor Trailer (even though he has slimmed down a bit)? You could definitely get open looks against him, and he has no handle.

SossMan
01-12-2005, 07:50 PM
I would go with whichever guy I would think that I could buy off to let me win. There's got to be someone in the NBA who could use $400k, right?

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:50 PM
[ QUOTE ]
You could definitely get open looks against him, and he has no handle.

[/ QUOTE ]

Now someone's speaking my language,

SossMan
01-12-2005, 07:51 PM
is tom tolbert available?

college_boy
01-12-2005, 07:51 PM
I've watched him for two years now. He's the least skilled player in the league IMO. I also think He's one of the worst dribblers which is why I chose him. I think I could steal it enough to give myself a chance to compete.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:52 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Although I think would go with "Mad Dog" Mark Madsen.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is stupid because Madsen would chew you up and spit you out on D

[/ QUOTE ]

Madsen would go "mad dog" apeshit and probably rip both my arms off. Bad pick.

How about someone known for super weak D, like Wally Szczerbiak?

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:53 PM
the man is intense, he would beast you like a baby.

Rick Diesel
01-12-2005, 07:53 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Although I think would go with "Mad Dog" Mark Madsen.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is stupid because Madsen would chew you up and spit you out on D

[/ QUOTE ]

Madsen would go "mad dog" apeshit and probably rip both my arms off. Bad pick.

How about someone known for super weak D, like Wally Szczerbiak?

[/ QUOTE ]

Or Steve Nash. You may actually have a chance in stopping him once or twice.

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:54 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Although I think would go with "Mad Dog" Mark Madsen.

[/ QUOTE ]

That is stupid because Madsen would chew you up and spit you out on D

[/ QUOTE ]

Madsen would go "mad dog" apeshit and probably rip both my arms off. Bad pick.

How about someone known for super weak D, like Wally Szczerbiak?

[/ QUOTE ] you mean The Princess ?

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 07:55 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Or Steve Nash. You may actually have a chance in stopping him once or twice.

[/ QUOTE ] you have about as good a chance of stopping Nash, as he does of stopping you.

haha, I make funny.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 07:55 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I go with Mark Blount. He hustles the least of any player in the NBA.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha... I almost suggested him because the sports guy has been talking so much [censored] about him. But I've never actually seen him play, so I can't say firsthand that he sucks.

college_boy
01-12-2005, 07:57 PM
Wally is a great choice. I can't believe I overlooked him.

[censored]
01-12-2005, 07:57 PM
Dude MM is vicous, they don't call him Mad Dog because he's some goofy white guy with a last name that rhymes with it.

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 07:58 PM
He shoots way too well for this.

Aces McGee
01-12-2005, 07:58 PM
How do you plan on stealing the ball from Shawn Bradley? You check the ball at the top of the key, he turns his backside into you, and backs you down, the ball roughly ten feet away from you. When he's close enough to the basket, he picks the ball up, holds it over his head, turns around, and jams on you.

I know he's slow, but he's going to feel you going for the ball in enough time to turn away from you and protect it with his body.

I agree that picking a big guy is the way to go, I just don't see stealing the ball from them.

I'd definitely go for Ostertag over Bradley, though. Ostertag is wider, but probably slower, and more important, when you take Bradley's freakish arms into account, it's like a foot less to shoot over. Or, a foot less over which to shoot. Not that shooting over Ostertag would be easy, but it'd be easier than shooting over Bradley.

If we were doing all-time players and I was looking for my best chance to win the game (not just score $10k points), I'd probably pick someone like Greg Kite or Fred Roberts, because those are the two guys I can think of at the moment that have been known to do absolutely inexplicable things on a basketball court, and therefore might be prone to not doing the obvious thing, which would be to back me down and dunk. They might be a little tougher to score on because they were a little more athletic, but I figure I'm taking 20 foot fallaways no matter who I'm playing against.

-McGee

Aces McGee
01-12-2005, 08:00 PM
[ QUOTE ]
I don't care how soft you played D, Boykins would get layups on you essentially at will.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yep. That guy is crazy quick.

-McGee

college_boy
01-12-2005, 08:00 PM
[ QUOTE ]
He shoots way too well for this.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thats all you can really ask for though isn't it?

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 08:00 PM
Got it (again) - VLADE.

He smokes 2 packs a day and can barely walk.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:01 PM
[ QUOTE ]
you mean The Princess ?


[/ QUOTE ]

lmao

offTopic
01-12-2005, 08:01 PM
Vlade. Drop a pack of smokes on the floor, and when he's distracted, take it to the hole.

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 08:02 PM
dude, Ostertag is 7-2, 280.
Bradley is 7-6, 280. One of them has to be easier to move, I would think Bradley would be easier.

Also, Bradley cannot dribble at all. I would check him the ball and immediately press him. He doesn't have much weight on me, so he couldn't move me easily.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:03 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Got it (again) - VLADE.

He smokes 2 packs a day and can barely walk.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG - great pick. Plus, you could probably buy him off for like 20K!

WEASEL45
01-12-2005, 08:08 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Plus, you could probably buy him off for like 20K

[/ QUOTE ]
way too much. you could by him off for a carton of cigaretts.

morello
01-12-2005, 08:10 PM
DaSagnia Diop

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:12 PM
How about the worst player to choose?

I'm thinking either Kobe or Ben Wallace.

Kobe would steal the ball every time and make you look ridiculous, while Wallace would just reject every single shot into the upper deck.

ThaSaltCracka
01-12-2005, 08:13 PM
Garnett, and its not even close.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:15 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Garnett, and its not even close.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh yeah... forgot about him. Replace Wallace with Garnett. I think Kobe would go out of his way to make his opponent look foolish, though.

offTopic
01-12-2005, 08:22 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Garnett, and its not even close.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh yeah... forgot about him. Replace Wallace with Garnett. I think Kobe would go out of his way to make his opponent look foolish, though.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, he'd probably bend you over a chair and tell everyone it was your idea...

M2d
01-12-2005, 08:26 PM
Too bad Yuta Tabuse got cut last month.

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:26 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, he'd probably bend you over a chair and tell everyone it was your idea...

[/ QUOTE ]

I probably shouldn't be laughing this hard at work....

Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!
01-12-2005, 08:27 PM
Can i pick from the WNBA?

SomethingClever
01-12-2005, 08:30 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Can i pick from the WNBA?

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, but each point is only worth $1.

Sponger15SB
01-12-2005, 08:35 PM
[ QUOTE ]

Yeah, he'd probably bend you over a chair and tell everyone it was your idea...

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG I almost choked on my popcorn.

david050173
01-12-2005, 09:05 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Can i pick from the WNBA?

[/ QUOTE ]

I bet this doesn't change much (unless you are really good at basketball) except that your friends will rag on you for getting crushed by a girl.

Piz0wn0reD!!!!!!
01-12-2005, 09:14 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Can i pick from the WNBA?

[/ QUOTE ]

I bet this doesn't change much (unless you are really good at basketball) except that your friends will rag on you for getting crushed by a girl.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ill bet there are a few guys in this forum who can beat any member of the WNBA in 1vs1. I myself would look like a fool. Most kids can beat me.

lapoker17
01-12-2005, 09:20 PM
When I lived in Atlanta a few years ago, there were a few WNBAers who used to play at my park. I, being the small white guy, was always tasked with guarding the girl. It's a terrible situation, either you play them soft, and they hit jumpers on you, or you play them tough and everyone's like "relax".

So, the first time I guarded one of these <ahem> chicks, I played her soft. The first 2 times down the court, she hit jumpers in my face. We then moved into lockdown mode, and she barely touched the ball again.

There are not many of these chicks who can fare well in most good playground games. They're just not that good.

Swoops, and maybe Taurasi and a few others could probably hang, but most of them suck.

NoChance
01-12-2005, 09:29 PM
I'm going to lose this contest no matter who I choose. I am choosing Garnett. At least I've got something to talk about afterwards.

jpg777
01-12-2005, 11:23 PM
I'd take Ron Artest just because he's insane.

MEbenhoe
01-12-2005, 11:41 PM
My pick is easily Earl Boykins. I'm 6'5", can dunk, have pretty good speed and hops (triple jumper and long jumper in track), and I'm a decent enough basketball player that he wouldn't be able to pick me clean. Plus with my foot height advantage I'd just back him down and post up on him every time. And as far as defense goes, I was an outstanding defender in high school, so I might be able to stop him a couple times. This doesn't mean I think I could by any means beat him or even play close, but I do believe using this strategy I'd be able to score 10 points before the game was over. A quick $100k works for me.

nothumb
01-12-2005, 11:48 PM
I'd be tempted to take Boykins just because it would be hilarious to post up an NBA player.

I think the worst one to pick would be Lebron, because not only would he own me, but he's not even as old as I am. Another really bad one would be a guy like Rasheed Wallace, although if there was a ref, I might be able to get him out on techs.

I'd probably take this guy (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/basketball/nba/players/3335/) because he played in a community college, he's big and slow and bad, and he's not even good enough to be active for the Utah Jazz. Also, I hate the Jazz, so I would be able to taunt him mercilessly.

Any player, past or present? Len Bias. We'd make a deal in the locker room after I introduced him to my buddy Jose from Colombia.

I'd also like to play against Reggie Miller just to elbow him in the face.

NT

david050173
01-13-2005, 12:03 AM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Can i pick from the WNBA?

[/ QUOTE ]

I bet this doesn't change much (unless you are really good at basketball) except that your friends will rag on you for getting crushed by a girl.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ill bet there are a few guys in this forum who can beat any member of the WNBA in 1vs1. I myself would look like a fool. Most kids can beat me.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure there are a few as a good high school player in most sports can beat a world class female. But I bet it is a lot less than think they could. Pick a random 40 something guy that doesn't play basketball regularly (ie the original contest) and the results of these games will be the same.

adios
01-13-2005, 11:49 AM
[ QUOTE ]
My pick is easily Earl Boykins. I'm 6'5", can dunk, have pretty good speed and hops (triple jumper and long jumper in track), and I'm a decent enough basketball player that he wouldn't be able to pick me clean.

[/ QUOTE ]

Loser's outs or winners outs or it doesn't matter? In your case I'd prefer losers out and might pick someone like Steve Nash instead but yeah I was thinking exactly along the line you were thinking. Post up on a small guy or at least be able to shoot a medium range jump shot over him. If you're a good enough shooter you're bound to score a few with losers out. Even if you beat Ostertag off the dribble he can still space himself such that he can block your shot from behind if you're 6'1" and you aren't likely to get medium range jumper over him.

wayabvpar
01-13-2005, 01:43 PM
Unless you have played college ball (minimum), ANY NBA player would eat your lunch. These are the top .001% of basketball players in the world- it is not like they just find 7 footers sitting around on park benches and throw millions of dollars at them.

The only reason the big guys look clumsy and oafish is who they are playing against- put them against Joe Blow off the street and they look like Gods.

Shajen
01-13-2005, 01:52 PM
[ QUOTE ]
it is not like they just find 7 footers sitting around on park benches and throw millions of dollars at them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with this statement. Manute Bol--ok, so it was a park bench in Africa, but still.

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

The Yugoslavian
01-13-2005, 02:08 PM
[ QUOTE ]
My pick is easily Earl Boykins. I'm 6'5", can dunk, have pretty good speed and hops (triple jumper and long jumper in track), and I'm a decent enough basketball player that he wouldn't be able to pick me clean. Plus with my foot height advantage I'd just back him down and post up on him every time. And as far as defense goes, I was an outstanding defender in high school, so I might be able to stop him a couple times. This doesn't mean I think I could by any means beat him or even play close, but I do believe using this strategy I'd be able to score 10 points before the game was over. A quick $100k works for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hmmm, Boykins is *amazingly* quick and a very good shooter. I wouldn't be surprised if he just stole the ball from you every time down the court. Although, if you backed him down enough, that 100K (at least) would be as good as yours!

I do like the idea of playing someone small. Any of those 7 foot guys are going to be impossible to stop or score on -- they aren't random 7-footers, they are much quicker and skilled than they look. If you're going to pick a tall stiff, pick Robert Swift -- that guy is awful.

I'm surprised no one has suggested a player purely for his ability to get injured or show up stoned beyond belief. Googs could easily get injured in the game, Kevin Willis is really old but would probably be motivated....Damon Stoudamire is small and very well could be in a serious haze. Plus he doesn't try. I'd go with Damon Stoudamire to go 1on1 with.

Yugoslav

Benjamin
01-13-2005, 02:18 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it is not like they just find 7 footers sitting around on park benches and throw millions of dollars at them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with this statement. Manute Bol--ok, so it was a park bench in Africa, but still.


[/ QUOTE ]
7'7" w/ long arms and some ability to run is quite a bit different from your typical 7 footer. I remember reading about how the first time he tried to dunk a basketball he knocked his teeth out on the rim. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

B.

Shajen
01-13-2005, 02:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
it is not like they just find 7 footers sitting around on park benches and throw millions of dollars at them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with this statement. Manute Bol--ok, so it was a park bench in Africa, but still.


[/ QUOTE ]
7'7" w/ long arms and some ability to run is quite a bit different from your typical 7 footer. I remember reading about how the first time he tried to dunk a basketball he knocked his teeth out on the rim. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

B.

[/ QUOTE ]

The guy was awesome. I remember watching him on the Bullets (best name ever for a team, considering the area they played in) and I was like holy cow, Mike Fratello came up to his waist. Awesome. Manute was the shizz. He had that awesome baby hook that was like Private Pyle throwing a grenade. UGLY UGLY UGLY game. But he tried really hard. And had hops for being 9'6".

the good old days of the NBA.

OCEIGHTY
01-13-2005, 02:38 PM
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, he'd probably bend you over a chair and tell everyone it was your idea...

[/ QUOTE ]

I probably shouldn't be laughing this hard at work....

[/ QUOTE ]

I might get canned after the outburst I just let out.

Joe Tall
01-13-2005, 02:39 PM
You have absolutely no idea on how good a professional Basketball player is. There is likely no one in the league that you could beat out right in a game to 21.

Trust me.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 02:43 PM
[ QUOTE ]
Even if you beat Ostertag off the dribble he can still space himself such that he can block your shot from behind

[/ QUOTE ]

Not if you dunk....

offTopic
01-13-2005, 02:44 PM
Since we're chest-deep in this hypothetical, I wonder - what would the rules be if there was a foul? Does the person getting fouled simply take the ball in from the top of the key again?

If so, and if Earl Boykins knows that the contestant hand-picked him because they think they can at least score on him a couple times (or more) there is a high likelihood that, barring a miracle 3-point heave or two, the score will be a tidy 21-0 or 22-0.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 02:49 PM
[ QUOTE ]
There is likely no one in the league that you could beat out right in a game to 21.


[/ QUOTE ]

Um... duh. This is just about who you could score the most points on to maximize your prize money.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 02:59 PM
[ QUOTE ]
The only reason the big guys look clumsy and oafish is who they are playing against- put them against Joe Blow off the street and they look like Gods.

[/ QUOTE ]

There aren't that many 7'2" guys in the world that aren't in the NBA. Believe me, if you're that tall, a team will be interested in you if you can so much as stand there while Shaq runs into you.

Your average 6'7" guys in the NBA are incredible athletes, don't get me wrong. But these some of the fringe specialty big guys are really goons with few skills.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 03:01 PM
If you get fouled, yeah, you take it from the top of the key.

But I don't think an NBA player would just keep fouling a fan like that just to shut them out. Okay, maybe Kobe would.

Joe Tall
01-13-2005, 03:16 PM
Back in the day, I played some serious hoop. Recruited heavy D2, D3 but I wanted an Engineering degree. I was a 6'8" high jumper in high school, 10.4 sec high-hurdler and went off to UMass in 1990 to run track. I was only 180lbs at 6'6" and Coach Cal practically laughed at me when I asked for a shot at the team. But I could play some serious ball and was schooled in the game since I was kid. I got my shot and practiced a ton with the team, tore my ACL, story over.

However, one of those first times down on the horseshoe courts (where the 'boys' play), I got myself into the game. I was the 3rd from shortest on the court. Playing the 2 spot wasn't my strongest and I quickly switched off a pick to defend this 6'3" point. He made a move so fcking fast I was left looking over my shoulder as he went up for a dunk in Harper Williams' face. That guy was Lorenzo Sutton (http://www.albanyherald.com/sportsarchive/1103/sport111903.html) and he was the all-time leading scorer at UMass at the time, and only flirted w/the NBA. Never made a NBA team. He tore the fcking court up that day. Players of the names of Curtis Bostic and Lou Roe were out there. Lorenzo stood alone.

This day, I realized that I had no IDEA how good is the 'good'. If this guy can't make the Clippers, how good are the players on the Clippers? How good was Magic, Larry and Jordan?

I will never turely know. I can only imagine.

I'm sure I'd couldn't beat a single player in the NBA.

UOPokerPlayer
01-13-2005, 03:17 PM
I can't believe people are picking stoudamire. He just put up 23 on Gilbert Arenas. He's better than Boykins by a lot. Every player that knows he was picked by some regular guy because the regular guy thought he could score on him is gonna come out and try to kill you. Especially little guys like Boykins and Stoudamire. No way you could pay off a player, their respect is worth way more than the 50k you could give them to spot you 8 points. I think your best shot is either go with someone like shaq and pretend you're his biggest fan and try to keep the game light. He'd go for a crossover too many times and probably wouldn't come out on your jumper too much. Barring that, go Ha Seung-Jin. He doesn't speak english is 18, and has played 2.5 minutes this season. Psychologically he'd be a mess on the court. He's got the Ostertag features and the fact that he literally just started playing basketball. You could probably break him for 10 if you got into his head.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 03:26 PM
Interesting story, and I agree that any medium size guy is going to be so smokin' fast that regular folk have no chance.

I also ran track and cross country, and I've got a quick first step and pretty good handles. Probably the best player I ever played against was Matt Santangelo back in high school.

He was the point guard that broke Stockton's assist record at Gonzaga and took them to the Elite 8 that first year.

You'd never know it from watching him at Gonzaga, but the guy was my height (6'1") and he could easily do a 360 jam on a fast break. Just disgusting hops.

I was a terrible player in high school (athletic, but no skills), but in a pick up game I once blocked his shot and got a fast break layup.

GrekeHaus
01-13-2005, 03:55 PM
That is an interesting story, and it brings up a good point. No "normal" person could ever come close to beating an NBA player in any sort of real game. The only way to even come close is to turn the game into something that doesn't really resemble basketball.

For me, I'd try and take somebody who's small and weak (not Earl, he can bench 330!). I'd probably go with Nash.

The first time Nash got the ball and got anywhere near the basket--BOOM--I'd land a blow right to the back of his head, allow him to call a foul and give him the ball. I'd continue this for as long as it took to really put the fear in him. Make him think that I'll do something that will end his career. Once you got him in this state of mind, he'd have no chance. He would just let you run right by every time you got the ball, and would huck the ball at the rim every time he had it.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 04:00 PM
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I'd probably go with Nash.

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Dude, Nash is kind of ripped. I think if you elbowed him in the head he'd probably kill you.

Interesting idea, though.

I'm telling you people, Ostertag! The slowest, clumsiest guy in the league, IMO.

lapoker17
01-13-2005, 04:04 PM
It's Gugliotta or Vlade.

GrekeHaus
01-13-2005, 04:10 PM
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Dude, Nash is kind of ripped. I think if you elbowed him in the head he'd probably kill you.

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Nash is 6'3" and 180 pounds. Not exactly a monster by NBA standards. I don't know if I'd call him ripped. The problem with my idea is that most NBA players are fairly strong, so finding the weakest one would be key.

wayabvpar
01-13-2005, 04:37 PM
[ QUOTE ]
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The only reason the big guys look clumsy and oafish is who they are playing against- put them against Joe Blow off the street and they look like Gods.

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There aren't that many 7'2" guys in the world that aren't in the NBA. Believe me, if you're that tall, a team will be interested in you if you can so much as stand there while Shaq runs into you.

Your average 6'7" guys in the NBA are incredible athletes, don't get me wrong. But these some of the fringe specialty big guys are really goons with few skills.

[/ QUOTE ]

There are less than 400 players in the NBA. There are 6 BILLION+ people in the world. You can't actually believe that the majority of 7 footers are in the NBA? That is just patently ridiculous.

Any NBA player would mop the floor with you. You might hit a couple of fluke baskets, but you are better off convincing them to play a heads up hold 'em match for the money rather than praying to hit a couple of miracle shots /images/graemlins/grin.gif

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 04:55 PM
I've been trying to google the estimated # of 7'2" or taller people in the world, but no luck.

I really don't think there are that many. The tallest guy alive right now is 7'8". Each inch above 7' is going to be rarer and rarer by a large factor.

SomethingClever
01-13-2005, 05:12 PM
Scouting report:

Assets: At 7'2" and 280 pounds, Ostertag has great size for life in the paint. He is also a solid rebounder and shot blocker.
Flaws: Lacks intensity. Isn't always in prime condition. Contributes nothing offensively. His great size doesn't translate into great strength against a quality center.
Career potential: Ostertag is a big body in the paint, but not much more.


I also found out that he donated a kidney to his sister, so now I feel bad for singling him out as a goon. I'd still pick him, though.

wayabvpar
01-13-2005, 05:24 PM
[ QUOTE ]

I've been trying to google the estimated # of 7'2" or taller people in the world, but no luck.

[/ QUOTE ]

Heh- I was doing the same thing with the same results /images/graemlins/grin.gif

I am just going by the fact that there are MANY college programs with 7 foot kids, there are tribes in Africa where 7 footers are relatively common (Manute Bol's tribe is one of them), and that there are 6 BILLION people in the world- if even the tiniest percentage of them were over 7 feet tall, that number would dwarf the 60-70 (a generous guess) that are in the NBA.

If I had to choose a big stiff to play against, Ostertag would be high on the list. Calvin Booth would be up there too (they both also appear in the top 10 ugliest NBA players).

kutuz_off
01-13-2005, 06:19 PM
I'd probably pick Wilt Chamberlain. He's rather slow. You see, he's dead. And if I proceed to lose anyway, at least it would be to arguably greatest individual player ever.