Need Help!

[LALDAAS]

Need a little help from some of you in serious relationships or married.

Ok here is the back round.

My girlfriend has always been my best friend since the 6th grade and now both 26. Up until a year and half ago it was platonic. She was the girl you called when you needed advice with a relationship.

Although we had feelings for each other, we both felt our friendship was of more value as it was rather then pursue something and have it ruined.Through out both her relationships and mine we respected each others situtations and never crossed that line. Even though it was obvious we wanted to get down and dirty.

We hit a crossroad when we were both single and well with a little help form a heavy night of drinking I spanked that ass. Oh what a spanking that was.

Nearly 2 years later we are very much in love.

Needless to say that marriage button is being pressed pretty hard. Do I want to, Yes of course.

She is wonderful:
She is beautiful ( I mean hot!)

Booty ROCKS! Never says NO! About once a week comes in the bed room wearing some little hot number or at least thigh highs and heels. /images/graemlins/grin.gif ( melts me like butta)

She is very intelligent, funny with a great heart.

She's got a great job as a RN in a large hospital. Makin more dough then I. Frigin girl made $1200 beans in one shift workin OT which happens all the time.

She bends over backwards to do for me, Doing my lyndry, Washing my dishes, Cleans my apt., Makes me dinner, and will even bring me lunch or when its cold hot coco to work ( Im a driver for UPS)

Those are the pro's the con's:

I CAN'T F&#$KING BREATH MAN!!!

I need some air! For the past 6 month we have been attached at the hip. If it wasnt for our work schdules we havent been apart.

I just wanna hang out the the guys get drunk play some poker, maybe even hit the go-go after the game. I wanna be a bum on sunday laying around with the buddies scratchin my balls, belchin and bustin some ass.

I want the freedom to answer a call from the boys " Dude, Its noon get your arse out of bed, we are going to lunch, bar hop it all the way to AC, gamble then finish the night up at a Go-go if we dont pass out first."

"SIGH" My earily to mid 20's have been GRAND.

I guess this is all settling in since we are about to put a down payment on our first home. I am scared shitless. I just dont want to be that guy like in "Old School" who is all excited about a fun filled weekend of HomeDepot and Bed,Bath and Beyond and shopping for antiques. UGH!

I wanna be Frank the Tank!

What to do, What to do comments PLZ!

[jakethebake]

You're [censored].

[Shajen]

Jesus H Christ, are you serious man?

Stop being a shithead. If you need some space and this girl is everything you say she is, talk to her about it.

Sounds like you are in an awesome situation and are scared.

that's normal. Who says you have to suddenly change once you get married?

That's a myth man.

I'm not trying to be an [censored], but what I say is 100% true.

COMMUNICATION AND COMPROMISE. The two Cs of marriage/relationships.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Welcome to your new reality. You're gonna have to just take it.

[Zoltri]

Take it from a guy who is married twice(divorced once).
If you have any doubts...DONT DO IT!!!!!

You will know when the right time is.
Sounds corny but its true. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[B00T]

Take the plunge. Just work out somedays where you can do your own thing. Does she have friends in the area? Take an interest into what she likes and do some activities on the weekends with her and some activities on your own or with your boys.

I already broke up one relationship of my own because I wanted more time to play poker and watch football and the leash off my neck. It made my decision easier because I didnt feel and wasnt great or best friends with her and didnt know her for 20 years. Spend 100% focus on ways to increase the constructiveness of the time you spend with her, and then it will lead to more constructive and more time to do what you want.

P.S. you said she was loaded....DONT BLOW IT.

[Boris]

If what you say is true you will deeply regret it if you don't marry her. The "time to do your own thing" issue is relatively easy to work out in relationship terms.

[Peca277]

If she's as great as you make her sound, I think she'll definitely understand that you want some time with your boys. Communication has never failed me... except those few times /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Nearly 2 years later we are very much in love.

[/ QUOTE ]

What choice?

You're in love with a girl that loves you too? What question are you asking here?

Yeah get rid of this one so you can hang out with the guys, and then in 5 years get married to some chick who happens to be there at the right time that you don't really give a [censored] about.

~D

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
P.S. you said she was loaded....DONT BLOW IT.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess this is one reason I am a little scared. I make a very good living doin what I do, around 65 to 70k she can easily hit 90 to 100k if she chooses too. Which makes her the bread winner.

Which I fear will some day make me the "yes dear" guy.

That leash is another, You ever take a walk often you pass a house with this great little playful puppy. so you drop to one knee and say come boy. The playful puppy gets all excited and starts running towards you. Little do you or puppy know is you are about 15 feet apart. The leash is only 12 1/2 feet long.

We all know the ending for the puppy story and it ugly.

[IndieMatty]

Don't think that way, you'll regret it. That [censored] wears off soon.

[slickpoppa]

is hanging out with the guys that great? i hang out with guys all of the time and all we do is talk about women or try to get women. but now you have a really good woman....

anyway, if you say that you want to hang out with the guys, does she say no, or are you just afraid to ask? if she as great of a girl as you say she is, she probably won't mind you hanging out with the boys once in a while.

being single and being able to do whatever you want gets old after a while. realize how lucky you are to be in love and be loved back. some people go their whole lives without making that kind of connection

[LALDAAS]

[ QUOTE ]
is hanging out with the guys that great? i hang out with guys all of the time and all we do is talk about women or try to get women. but now you have a really good woman....

anyway, if you say that you want to hang out with the guys, does she say no, or are you just afraid to ask? if she as great of a girl as you say she is, she probably won't mind you hanging out with the boys once in a while.

being single and being able to do whatever you want gets old after a while. realize how lucky you are to be in love and be loved back. some people go their whole lives without making that kind of connection

[/ QUOTE ]

I know I am lucky /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

My friends are life long friends. 4 buddies. We grew up toghter since we where in nursery school. Through the years, fights (fist fights lol), moving away for collage and back, we are tight as brothers.We do not even need to drink or smoke to sit around and luagh endlessly for hours.

So to answer is hanging out with the guys that great? yes it is.

The problem isnt will she or wont she allow me, Its will she allow me to do it alone. I mentioned before we are attached at the hip. I was serious. I made the grave mistake and mixed the friends world with the girlfriend world soon to be the wife world as well.

When I hang with the boys she always is there and or shows up. So we have to on our toes when we are up to no good. No good= what a girl friend considers no good.i.e. A stripper for a buddy or something of that nature.

[AncientPC]

She sounds like a great girl, you just need to talk to her and explain that you like hanging out with the guys sometimes.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, I don't see how you could give up this girl.

[youtalkfunny]

[ QUOTE ]
If she's as great as you make her sound, I think she'll definitely understand that you want some time with your boys.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you serious?

Oh wait, I get it--you're just saying the right things to make this guy feel better. My bad.

/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[scotnt73]

why do you have to get married now? ive lived with the woman i call my wife for the last 4 years and we are just now getting ready to make it official. live together another year or 2 and "pretend" you are married. hell my girlfriend is listed as my wife at my job and is covered under my insurance. getting married should not be something you fear. it should be something you actually look forward to. and yes ive been married once before.

[ClaytonN]

[ QUOTE ]
What to do, What to do comments PLZ!

[/ QUOTE ]

You want the real answer?

Clear this crap up with your girl before ANY sort of plans for marraige arise. And I'm talking beyond your needs to hang with the buddies, I'm talking kids, house, long-rung stuff.

If you leave ANYTHING on the table before a serious commitment, you are screwed long term.