"Why aren't you married yet?"

[hutz]

I hear this question a lot on dates and f-ing hate it because it seems like there's little upside, and a lot of potential downside, to answering it. Single guys, how do you answer this question when a girl asks it? How, if at all, does your answer vary depending on whether you just want to be her f*ck buddy as opposed to if she's someone you see more long-term possibilities with?

[Skjonne]

I've gotten the "Why are you married" question a couple of times. I haven't got a clue

[Shajen]

Answer honestly.

It's a simple question, with a simple /images/graemlins/wink.gif answer:

I haven't met the right woman yet. Then, you can move on to slipping that mickey into her drink when she's in the bathroom.

(I kid)

[Bluffoon]

Any woman boneheaded enough to ask me this question gets her first demerit and is on dump alert.

It is too direct. Most people would feel uncomfortable with a question like this in this situation and she either doesnt realize this and is lacking empathy, or she does, doesn't care about making you uncomfortable as long as she gets the information she wants.

I prefer taking and receiving the more subtle approach. I mean, just spend some time with someone and a question like this answers itself if you are paying attention.

Can't be bothered taking the time to figure it out for yourself? Then neither can I.

[Shajen]

Well, I assumed it wasn't on the first date he was hearing this.

Hell, I figured it was also coming from family...hence my response.

Yeah, if a woman is asking these kinds of questions on the first date, I'd be on guard.

Thankfully, I am married, so I don't have to deal with this [censored] anymore.

Now I get "So, when are you having kids?" all the [censored] time...like I *have* to or something.

I'm gonna start telling people I'm unable to have kids and thank them for bringing up deeply depressing memories. Totally untrue, but totally worth it.

[elwoodblues]

What's the answer?

It's a fair question. A woman you are dating should know if you haven't found the right woman yet or if you don't ever want to get married.

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
What's the answer?

It's a fair question. A woman you are dating should know if you haven't found the right woman yet or if you don't ever want to get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, but asking straight out like that is right up there with her asking how much money you make.

[elwoodblues]

Maybe, but I'd rather have someone ask a question directly than dance around the subject.

[Shajen]

As I said, if this is on the first date, I would be concerned.

Get to know the person a little before you decide to judge on one item like this.

Anyway, that's just my opinion.

[Kirg]

[ QUOTE ]
I haven't met the right woman yet. Then, you can move on to slipping that mickey into her drink when she's in the bathroom.

(I kid)

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Hell, I figured it was also coming from family...hence my response.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you slip the mickey into your cousins, aunts, whoevers' drinks a lot /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Shajen]

Only second cousins and further out. Immediately family is a little too strange even for me /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[AncientPC]

[ QUOTE ]
Well, I assumed it wasn't on the first date he was hearing this.

Hell, I figured it was also coming from family...hence my response.

Yeah, if a woman is asking these kinds of questions on the first date, I'd be on guard.

Thankfully, I am married, so I don't have to deal with this [censored] anymore.

Now I get "So, when are you having kids?" all the [censored] time...like I *have* to or something.

I'm gonna start telling people I'm unable to have kids and thank them for bringing up deeply depressing memories. Totally untrue, but totally worth it.

[/ QUOTE ]

You could just tell them you're thinking about adopting (but never actually do anything).

[lu_hawk]

How old are you? If you are 40 then it is a bad question to ask but reasonable for a girl to think about. If you are 25 then it's just stupid.

[Shajen]

yeah, I've tried the "we may adopt" route, but it doesn't stop the questions. The majority of the stupid people in this world don't understand that my wife and I currently don't want to have kids. Hell, we are having too much fun. And I'm selfish...once you have kids, the focus of your life (imo) shouldn't be on yourself anymore. I'm not ready for that...yet.

[MaxPower]

When a young woman asks me I like to say, "I guess I'm just lucky." But that could be part of the reason I am single.

If old person asks me I say, "Why aren't you dead yet?" Actually, I've never had to guts to say this, but I'd really like to.

[Rick Diesel]

[ QUOTE ]
The majority of the stupid people in this world don't understand that my wife and I currently don't want to have kids. Hell, we are having too much fun. And I'm selfish...once you have kids, the focus of your life (imo) shouldn't be on yourself anymore. I'm not ready for that...yet.

[/ QUOTE ]

my thoughts exactly, word for word. Did you steal this post from my brain?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
If old person asks me I say, "Why aren't you dead yet?" Actually, I've never had to guts to say this, but I'd really like to.

[/ QUOTE ]
Priceless!

[Joe Tall]

Just give them the "haven't met the right one yet" line. It's give them the illusion that they might be or become the right one if they dig ya at all.

Peace,
Joe Tall

[Rockatansky]

[ QUOTE ]
I hear this question a lot on dates and f-ing hate it because it seems like there's little upside, and a lot of potential downside, to answering it. Single guys, how do you answer this question when a girl asks it? How, if at all, does your answer vary depending on whether you just want to be her f*ck buddy as opposed to if she's someone you see more long-term possibilities with?

[/ QUOTE ]

If you really didn't care, you could say either: (1) "Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free?" or (2) "Every girl I've dated has asked me this exact question and it's a complete deal breaker for me."

If you're going to be serious, I think the line about about how you haven't met the right person yet is pretty good. If that answer isn't satisfactory to her, then it's probably not going to work out anyway.

[Rob Blackburn]

I have used the brutal honesty route the last few years after going through about 4 years of back to back relationships.

I make it pretty clear that, business and material possesions are higher on my priority scale right now than relationships or marriage.

I gotta say it has drastically reduced the drama in my life, but the downside is obviously my female companionship has reduced drastically as well.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

Don't worry - the questions don't stop once you get engaged/married - they just move to the next thing. For instance, when I called and told my mother that I was going to ask my then gf to marry me, her response was "That's great. You know I think I'm ready for grandkids." We're getting a dog.

[jakethebake]

Just answer, "I dunno. Do you take it in the ass?"

[Ulysses]

Tell them you're a hopeless romantic who is looking for true love and you haven't found that perfect match yet.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Just answer, "I dunno. Do you take it in the ass?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I like this answer.

[drewjustdrew]

[ QUOTE ]
Just answer, "I dunno. Do you take it in the ass?"

[/ QUOTE ]

This is 100% correct. Let us know what happens when you ask her.

[AncientPC]

[ QUOTE ]
Don't worry - the questions don't stop once you get engaged/married - they just move to the next thing. For instance, when I called and told my mother that I was going to ask my then gf to marry me, her response was "That's great. You know I think I'm ready for grandkids." We're getting a dog.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think my parents treat my gf's and my dog like a grandkid sometimes . . .

[Toro]

When I was in my twenties and was asked this question I was always totally honest with my answer which was "because I love being single".

[[censored]]

[ QUOTE ]
Just give them the "haven't met the right one yet" line. It's give them the illusion that they might be or become the right one if they dig ya at all.

Peace,
Joe Tall

[/ QUOTE ]

My thoughts.

Also I assume they aren't married yet as well so you could go with "oh, probably for many of the same reasons you are anyone else isn't..........you dumb bitch, you just bought your own dinner."

[IsaacW]

[ QUOTE ]
Why aren't you married yet?
I hear this question a lot on dates [...]

[/ QUOTE ]
Why the F*CK isn't SHE married yet?

[Homer]

How about, "I am, is that going to be a problem?"

[Mano]

If you're looking to score:

"I am looking for a woman who want's me for me, and not my millions of dollars."

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
If you're looking to score:

"I am looking for a woman who want's me for me, and not my millions of dollars."

[/ QUOTE ]
Very nice.

[ilya]

"The one woman I have ever loved has a restraining order out against me."

[Duke]

Possible solutions:

My wife died 5 years ago, but thanks for bring up such a painful subject.

I just met you last week.

~D

[on_thg]

I'm trying to put off my first divorce as long as possible.

[hutz]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
What's the answer?

It's a fair question. A woman you are dating should know if you haven't found the right woman yet or if you don't ever want to get married.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, but asking straight out like that is right up there with her asking how much money you make.

[/ QUOTE ]

My recent experience has shown this to be a very good indicator of a girl (1) having an overdeveloped bitch gene, (2) being emotionally unstable and/or needy, or (3) both of the above.

I'm adding the asking of the "why aren't you married yet?" question, if asked within the first two dates, to the list of things that make me very inclined to move a girl from the "long-term possibilites" list to the "short-term/f*ck buddy" list. What are some similar tried-and-true red flag items that make you view a girl's long-term prospects negatively?