I conquered my bisexual friend last night.

[Tyler Durden]

I discussed this w/ a friend who is also a 2+2er and he said I won't come across as an egomaniac so we figured it was okay to post.

Last night I hung out my college friend Lauren. She's 24, like me. We've been friends since our freshman year. We hooked up a few times right before graduation and slept together twice. We remained good friends after she moved to Nashville shortly thereafter.

So she moves to Nashville and dates around. She meets some guys and some girls and calls one day to tell me she's met an awesome person, but it's a chick. They begin to date seriously and move in together. I'm like WTF? I lay the pipe and she goes bi? Am I supposed to be insulted? But I didn't really care much so oh well....

Anyway last night she's back in town visiting her parents and she comes over and we go out for beers. She tells me all about how this girl and her live together and it's been over 2.5 years and Lauren is ready to break it off. I'm thinking "cool, maybe I can hit again?" B/c back in college the sex was excellent and variety is the spice of life, or something.

So we go back to my house and up to my room. She starts to play with my iPod and then she gets the look in her eyes, like she wants to start playing w/ my joystick. So I take the iPod from her and move in for the kill. Eventually we get naked and we get it on. Dirty talk, ass slapping, the whole 9 yards, this girl has become a freak. It was cool.

And that's my story about breaking my bisexual friend. Anyway it was fun.

I tell ya, it's tough being 24 and a walking erection.

[Michael Davis]

"I tell ya, it's tough being 24 and a walking erection."

Less tough for you than me, I think.

-Michael

[jakethebake]

Doesn't this belong in the bragging thread? /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Nice post anyway.

[BusterStacks]

NICE WORK MAN, I'm at half-mast just reading that.

[fnord_too]

So, be honest, when she first told you she was seeing a chick how long did it take for the idea of three way to pop into your head? (Obviously the idea is still there since you are male.)

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

I'm a bit disappointed, actually. I thought for sure this was headed for bigger things, especially when it came up she was ready to break up with that chick anyway.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Eventually we get naked and we get it on. Dirty talk, ass slapping, the whole 9 yards, this girl has become a freak.

[/ QUOTE ]
More description is necessary. Was there any mention of the panties her mother laid out for her? Who was doing the ass slapping and how hard? Exactly what does "the whole 9 yards" entail? Did ya get her in the butt? Exactly how much of a freak is she and what exactly did she do that makes her one? Readers want to know.

[Sponger15SB]

*ahem* This girl is bisexual?

So you hooked up with a girl that likes guys?

I'm not quite impressed.

[Tyler Durden]

Hey Sponger, remember that one time you had sex with your g/f of three years? Was it cool?

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]

*ahem* This girl is bisexual?
So you hooked up with a girl that likes guys?
I'm not quite impressed.


[/ QUOTE ]
I guess it depends on lot on whether or not she's cheated in the last 2.5 years. If she has, and has been with guys, it's not very impessive. If he was her first guy in the last 2.5 years, that's a little better.

In any case, i'm going to uh, see some pictures. Purely for scientific purposes.

[PhatTBoll]

Is it really "conquering" when you've hit it before?

Also, bisexual women are about a 9.2 on the sluttiness scale, right below flaming gay dudes and bonobo monkeys. I hope you double-wrapped that [censored].

[mike l.]

"I tell ya, it's tough being 24 and a walking erection."

yeah that sounds just awful.

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
Hey Sponger, remember that one time you had sex with your g/f of three years? Was it cool?

[/ QUOTE ]

C'mon, when you think about this, its hardly that impressive.

If you hooked up with a chick that was just a straight lez, then yeah, I'd be really impressed.

But, like others have you said, you have hooked up with her before, she was probably dying to [censored] you anyways.

[lu_hawk]

One time in high school I hooked up with this chick and I thought it was cool. Later I found out she was bi and I realized she only hooked up with me because all bisexual girls are sluts.

[lu_hawk]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, bisexual women are about a 9.2 on the sluttiness scale, right below flaming gay dudes and bonobo monkeys.

[/ QUOTE ]

good stuff

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

WHY IS NOBODY UPSET THAT HE DIDN'T GET BOTH CHICKS?

This is the reason the story is disappointing and it's not even close.

[slickpoppa]

We need pictures

[TimM]

[ QUOTE ]
One time in high school I hooked up with this chick and I thought it was cool. Later I found out she was bi and I realized she only hooked up with me because all bisexual girls are sluts.

[/ QUOTE ]

You guys worry too much about the ego boost of the conquest. Why not just enjoy the actual sex?

[Tyler Durden]

Lauren's g/f isn't hot. I've never met her but I've seen pictures.

Lauren hasn't slept w/ a guy since May 2002, when she and I bumped uglies.

[BusterStacks]

[ QUOTE ]

Lauren hasn't slept w/ a guy since May 2002, when she and I bumped uglies.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL dude. Come on now, if you believe that...

[Tyler Durden]

[ QUOTE ]

LOL dude. Come on now, if you believe that...

[/ QUOTE ]

You're probably right (you're not).

[jakethebake]

DETAILS! DETAILS DETAILS!

[Tyler Durden]

I'll post some later, when I get the energy. Right now I'm starving and can't think clearly, but I have to wait till I bust out of the MTT I'm playing before I can get food.

[Ulysses]

[ QUOTE ]
Lauren hasn't slept w/ a guy since May 2002, when she and I bumped uglies.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just curious, has she ever had the nickname "finger cuffs" ?

[Tyler Durden]

Good movie. I don't think she's had that nickname.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Just curious, has she ever had the nickname "finger cuffs" ?

[/ QUOTE ]
I was thinking the same thing. Funny her name is Lauren too...as in Joey Lauren Adams (who is way hot btw. she shopuld be in a poll).

[Inthacup]

the whole 9 yards, this girl has become a freak

Fisting? Anal? Anal fisting? missionary?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just curious, has she ever had the nickname "finger cuffs" ?

[/ QUOTE ]
I was thinking the same thing. Funny her name is Lauren too...as in Joey Lauren Adams (who is way hot btw. she shopuld be in a poll).

[/ QUOTE ]
I don't think she's quite poll-worthy (but neither are some of the recent poll choices), but more to the point, you can only watch her on mute anyway because of that voice - it kills anything.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I don't think she's poll-worthy, but more to the point, you can only watch her on mute anyway because of that voice - it kills anything.

[/ QUOTE ]
In general I agree with you on the voice. I really dislike baby-talkers. But I bet it sounds pretty hot when she's just moaning and screaming.

[Tyler Durden]

Joey Lauren Adams is hot?? When did this happen? She was hot when she appeared on an episode of Married With Children back when she was like 18, but after that.....no.

She's attractive, but hot? Negative. And her voice gets pretty annoying after a while. A short while.

[jakethebake]

This seriously hurts the credibility of this whole thread since you're clearly gay.

[Tyler Durden]

Yes she's attractive, but she's not hot.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
I'll post some later, when I get the energy. Right now I'm starving and can't think clearly, but I have to wait till I bust out of the MTT I'm playing before I can get food.

[/ QUOTE ]
We never did get details... /images/graemlins/frown.gif

[Jman28]

[ QUOTE ]
This seriously hurts the credibility of this whole thread since you're clearly gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

Post of the week.

[Number4]

[ QUOTE ]
Is it really "conquering" when you've hit it before?

Also, bisexual women are about a 9.2 on the sluttiness scale.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice. Also, I would be a lot more impressed if she was totally lez or is now totally straight.

[drewjustdrew]

[ QUOTE ]
This seriously hurts the credibility of this whole thread since you're clearly gay.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not many things that I read on the internet make me LOL, but this one sure did.

I see both sides of the debate on her hotness though. It depends on my mood with her. I think mostly it depends how I'm getting along with my wife. If I just wish she'd stop being right, I think how nice it would be if my wife was like Joey Lauren Adams. Even if she was right then, you couldn't give her credit for it, based on her voice.

[Shajen]

I love the title of this post.

Sounds like when you finished you stood up and pissed a circle around her.

I claim this territory as my own

/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[bwana devil]

[ QUOTE ]
I love the title of this post.

Sounds like when you finished you stood up and pissed a circle around her.

I claim this territory as my own

[/ QUOTE ]

The title sounds super cool. Then when I read the story I realize it should have just been titled, "I had sex w/ my ex."

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
The title sounds super cool. Then when I read the story I realize it should have just been titled, "I had sex w/ my ex."

[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly.

[jakethebake]

Do you think she's posted something about her conquest on some bisexual chick site someplace?

[lawfive]

Nice

[SuitedSixes]

[ QUOTE ]
straight lez

[/ QUOTE ]

Love your choice of words.

[_2000Flushes]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, bisexual women are about a 9.2 on the sluttiness scale, right below flaming gay dudes and bonobo monkeys. I hope you double-wrapped that [censored].


[/ QUOTE ]

Where might one find some of these bonobo monkeys?

-2kF

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Also, bisexual women are about a 9.2 on the sluttiness scale, right below flaming gay dudes and bonobo monkeys. I hope you double-wrapped that [censored].


[/ QUOTE ]

Where might one find some of these bonobo monkeys?

-2kF

[/ QUOTE ]
From Monkeyland Primate Sanctuary in South Africa (http://www.monkeyland.co.za/monkeybusiness.htm):

"Our closest living relatives, the bonobo chimpanzees are 100%. bisexual. The bonobo is sometimes called the “free love” species, as they seem happy to have sex all the time, both heterosexual and homosexual."

I think you can adopt them. Oh, and apparently they're chimps and not monkeys - get it straight, [censored].

edit: By "adopt", I'm pretty sure they really mean "buy him and let him go into the wild". No crazy monkey love for you, 2kF.

[bwana devil]

Columbus Zoo (http://www.colszoo.org/animalareas/aforest/bonobo.html)

[Hack]

So what. It's not like she is a lesbian or something.

[fluff]

"Conquering" an ex (bisexual or not) is kinda like conquering France.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
"Conquering" an ex (bisexual or not) is kinda like conquering France.

[/ QUOTE ]
Lotsa fun, but not much of a challenge?

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
the whole 9 yards, this girl has become a freak
Fisting? Anal? Anal fisting? missionary?

[/ QUOTE ]
We need details!!! Anbd is isnt close.
/images/graemlins/grin.gif