Botanist needed

[Boris]

Awhile back I posted a cool, 100% un-lame article about these neat plants called Cycads.

Well I think there is about a 50% chance I got one as a christmas present. I've tried the google thing but I can't even understand the language enough to make it through a dichotomous key. If there are any Botanists in the San Francisco bay area I would buy you lunch if you would give me a hand with my mystery plant. Keep in mind that for me this would be the equivalent of going on TV at the Antiques Road Show. In my heart of hearts I really hope I have a Cycad, but the truth is that it's probably some stupid weed you can buy for $0.99 at Home Depot.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

http://hsi-202.bloomer.k12.wi.us/images/GARDENS/Single%20Plants/CYCAD%20DIVIDING%20010520.JPG
Does it look like this?

[wacki]

A picture would probably help.

[Boris]

very, very similiar only smaller. The leaf structure looks exactly like that in the photo, at least as far as one can tell from a photo. I think my little buddy would be native to Africa.

[Boris]

Please refer to PDPG's post.

[stabn]

PDPG's post is of an actual one in the wild, not an example of what he got, which sounds more like what wacki was asking for.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
PDPG's post is of an actual one in the wild, not an example of what he got, which sounds more like what wacki was asking for.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ding!

[Boris]

fckin A. You people from Seattle are so demanding. Do you have any idea how much effort this will take? Anyways, I'll see what I can do.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
fckin A. You people from Seattle are so demanding. Do you have any idea how much effort this will take?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hardly any at all if you have a digital camera. Photobucket.

Until then google is your friend.

http://images.google.com/images?q=Cycads&hl=en&btnG=Google+Search

[stabn]

[ QUOTE ]

You people from Seattle are so demanding.


[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't oot rule #1 "include pictures or [censored] off"?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

You people from Seattle are so demanding.


[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't oot rule #1 "include pictures or [censored] off"?

[/ QUOTE ]
http://forums.caraudio.com/vb/images/smilies/needpics.gif

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

You people from Seattle are so demanding.


[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't oot rule #1 "include pictures or [censored] off"?

[/ QUOTE ]indeed, Boris knows this too, he is just being a douche right now.

[Boris]

I recommend you don't hitch hike.

[Boris]

http://biology.clc.uc.edu/graphics/taxonomy/plants/spermatophyta/Gymnosperms/Sago%20Palm%20%7BCycad%7D/JSC%200105%20Cycad%202.JPG http://staff.jccc.net/pdecell/plants/images/cycad.jpg http://www.uaf.edu/grnhouse/images/cycad.jpg http://tidepool.st.usm.edu/pix/cycad.gif http://www.mgovens.freeserve.co.uk/images/cycad.jpg

[wacki]

Why are you posting pics of other peoples cycads, when you want us to identify the plant you own? What's the point?

[ThaSaltCracka]

are these things like expensive ferns?

[Boris]

The point is that I thought maybe there might be a person who is QUALIFIED to make a positive ID and who lives in the Bay Area. I really don't think it's possible to make an identification by simply posting a few pictures on the Internet. The reason I think my guy might be a cycad is because he looks very similiar to the pictures I posted. I'm just as capable as you you brainiacs to look at a picture and say that looks like my plant. When all you guys started screaming for pics I posted some. I lost the charger for my digital camera so it will a few days before I can post pictures of my plant.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
are these things like expensive ferns?

[/ QUOTE ]

Salty, stop smoking so much weed. I think your memory is going bad.


Cycad Thread Link (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=exchange&Number=1381568&Fo rum=c7&Words=Cycads&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Main=138 1568&Search=true&where=bodysub&Name=&daterange=1&n ewerval=1&newertype=y&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post1381568)

[Boris]

an extremely rare variety sells for upwards of $30k. Many Cycads have been removed from public botanical gardens because they get ripped off so much.

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
I really don't think it's possible to make an identification by simply posting a few pictures on the Internet.

[/ QUOTE ]

I studied vascular plants for a year and a half. I highly doubt this, especially if you have a macro function on your camera.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
are these things like expensive ferns?

[/ QUOTE ]

Salty, stop smoking so much weed. I think your memory is going bad.


Cycad Thread Link (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showflat.php?Cat=&Board=exchange&Number=1381568&Fo rum=c7&Words=Cycads&Searchpage=0&Limit=25&Main=138 1568&Search=true&where=bodysub&Name=&daterange=1&n ewerval=1&newertype=y&olderval=&oldertype=&bodypre v=#Post1381568)

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember the thread, but seriously though, do they have spores?

[Boris]

I'll see if I can fix my camera problem. How come you're not on the 10 smartest poker players list?

[Zeno]

Christ almighty, Boris. Go to the library and/or search on the Internet for the key features needed to identify a Cycad plant. There are scads of Botany books that are chocked full of information on different plants by genus, family etc available at any large library. Also, you can simply go to a University Botany Department and get some student or prof to help you identify the plant. Some large universities also have arboretums with plant nuts on staff that will fall over to help you. Make up some mystery story or say you think the plant is poisonous or dangerous etc. There are also probably garden groups and other clubs with all sorts of plant/garden nut brains that will help you identify this beastly plant that may be worth $15 million dollars etc. Take a sample leave or portion of the frond etc if you need to be tactful.

Some people need to go hitchhiking and never come back.

-Zeno

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
How come you're not on the 10 smartest poker players list?

[/ QUOTE ]

I've never seen this list. Although I'm honored you ask the question, I doubt I deserve it.

Also, I do drink my fair share so I have no doubt there are many that read my drunken posts and think of me as a complete idiot.

I did a search for the list, and I couldn't find it. Do you have a link?

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
I remember the thread, but seriously though, do they have spores?

[/ QUOTE ]

They produce seeds (gymnosperms) but their habitat is disappearing, and a lot of them can be difficult to grow.

[Boris]

web page (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=&Number=1435626&page=0&view=c ollapsed&sb=5&o=14)

[Boris]

[ QUOTE ]
Go to the library

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
There are scads of Botany books that are chocked full of information on different plants by genus, family etc available at any large library.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, you can simply go to a University Botany Department and get some student or prof to help you identify the plant. Some large universities also have arboretums with plant nuts on staff that will fall over to help you. Make up some mystery story or say you think the plant is poisonous or dangerous etc. There are also probably garden groups and other clubs with all sorts of plant/garden nut brains that will help you identify this beastly plant that may be worth $15 million dollars etc. Take a sample leave or portion of the frond etc if you need to be tactful.

[/ QUOTE ]

What the fck is the point of having the Internet if I have to do all that?

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
Christ almighty, Boris. Go to the library and/or search on the Internet for the key features needed to identify a Cycad plant. There are scads of Botany books that are chocked full of information on different plants by genus, family etc available at any large library. Also, you can simply go to a University Botany Department and get some student or prof to help you identify the plant. Some large universities also have arboretums with plant nuts on staff that will fall over to help you. Make up some mystery story or say you think the plant is poisonous or dangerous etc. There are also probably garden groups and other clubs with all sorts of plant/garden nut brains that will help you identify this beastly plant that may be worth $15 million dollars etc. Take a sample leave or portion of the frond etc if you need to be tactful.

Some people need to go hitchhiking and never come back.

-Zeno

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, you put it as delicately as ever.

He does have a million and one options available to him. Identifying the genus should be easy enough and something Boris might be able to do on his own. Getting it down to the exact species may require someone with training though.

[Zeno]

Sorry Boris; I'm in a bully of a mood tonight for some reason. I do hope my suggestions are useful.

-Zeno

[wacki]

[ QUOTE ]
What the fck is the point of having the Internet if I have to do all that?

[/ QUOTE ]

Take a pic of the plant and then e-mail it to someone that knows these plants. E-mail the local poison control center for and ask who you can send a picture to. University professors tend to do this kind of work as well. I'm sure there are botany clubs in the US you could e-mail a pic to. There are tons of ways you can solve this problem without leaving your house.

[Boris]

No apology needed. I don't think your post qualifies as an insult on OOT. Cracker just called me a douche and all I could think was "isn't the douche a marvelous invention?"

[andyfox]

Hmm . . . Somebody got up on the wrong side of the bed this year. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

You know Thomas Jefferson was something of a botanist. He began his famous Garden Book in 1766 with the cheerful line, "March 20. Purple Hyacinth begins to bloom," and continued this record of flowering and planting for fifty-eight years. His early biographer Henry Randall was startled at the discovery, among Jefferson's papers, of a neatly made chart, "A Statement of the Vegetable market in Washington, during a period of 8 years, wherein the earliest & latest appearance of each article within the whole 8 years is noted." Jefferson noted the exact beginning and ending of the season for twenty-nine vegetables and seven fuits.

Also, one reason for Mr. Ellis's title for his book about Jefferson you are about to read, is that his daughter said he lost his temper in her presence only twice in his life.

Or only once more than you did in the post to which I am now responding. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

You should read that Jefferson book now.

With love,
Andy

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
No apology needed. I don't think your post qualifies as an insult on OOT. Cracker just called me a douche and all I could think was "isn't the douche a marvelous invention?"

[/ QUOTE ]dude, we're all so desensitized. the only thing I would never talk about is someones family, IMO anything else is just jokes and fun.