Funny Joke - ENJOY!!!

[theBruiser500]

Heisenberg was driving on the highway, and then a policeman pulled him over. The policeman said, "do you know how fast you were going?", Heisenberg replied "no, but I know where I am!"

[ThaSaltCracka]

boooooooooooooo

<throws tomatoe>

[theBruiser500]

Obviously this joke went over your head.

[Peca277]

I got the joke... but still didn't find it funny. Maybe it was because I had just read your post saying both Ootards and Ootiots were dumb names. I happen to enjoy Ootiots.

[Gamblor]

I'm still UNCERTAIN as to whether I like it.

I vote 4 out of 10.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
Obviously this joke went over your head.

[/ QUOTE ]untrue, my keen sense of humor did not find your joke funny, but props for posting it.

[Zoltri]

http://forum2.therx.com/images/smilies/puke1.gif

[lu_hawk]

I laughed out loud. I sent it around the office and everyone either didn't get it or thinks I am dumb.

[ThaSaltCracka]

btw, Jokes referencing to vague physicist are not funny to 99% of the world.

[DrPhysic]

Actually it was the tomato that went over his head.

And obviously you have been studying at the Dan Quayle School of Spelling.

Doc

(I didn't think it was funny either. Nobody ever gets Physics jokes.)

[ThaSaltCracka]

yeah, I was trying to figure out if I spelt it right, after comtemplating hard for 1 second, I decided I was completely indifferent to the spelling.

Anyways, don't you have some SnG's to organze or what?

what? you didn't like it either???

[B Dids]

You're far too young to engage in this kind of nerd humor.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
btw, Jokes referencing to vague physicist are not funny to 99% of the world.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure if the "vague physicist" is supposed to be a pun or not. I kind of doubt it is, but if so, bravo!

If you meant obscure physicist, Heisenberg is pretty damn famous for a physicist.

I didn't find it too funny myself, having heard it before (or very similar jokes). However, the fact that 99% of the world won't get something or find it funny is hardly condemnation in my book.

[MelchyBeau]

here is another one

There were a bunch of equations sitting in a bar. In walks Derivative and everyone scatters but one lone equation. Derivative goes up to him and asks 'aren't you scared of me?'

The equation says 'hell no i'm e^x'

The derivative says 'hah, but I'm d/dy'


I know I know, its lame

Melch

[ThaSaltCracka]

I have never heard of him, thus, he is not famous. Sorry, thats how it works.

[ThaSaltCracka]

whoah, this beats Bruisers joke in the lame ass joke department.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
I have never heard of him, thus, he is not famous. Sorry, thats how it works.

[/ QUOTE ]

Every one you have heard of you hadn't heard of at some point. Also, you have heard of him now.

(Really, you have never heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle???)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
famous for a physicist.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is an oxymoron with the exception of Einstein.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
(Really, you have never heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle???)

[/ QUOTE ]
No.

[theBruiser500]

I remember hearing this joke in math class and thinking it's funny. I forget though, what does d/dy do to e^x?

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
I remember hearing this joke in math class and thinking it's funny. I forget though, what does d/dy do to e^x?

[/ QUOTE ] if you want to cancel out the e^x you have to use d/dy, right?

[slickpoppa]

nothing

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
nothing

[/ QUOTE ]
This is the correct answer.

[Gamblor]

can someone explain this

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
famous for a physicist.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is an oxymoron with the exception of Einstein.

[/ QUOTE ]
da Vinci, Galileo, and Newton were pretty famous. So are Archimides, Copernicus, Sagan, and Feynman, to a lesser extent.

This brings up and interesting point, though. Just how do you categorize fame? I mean, really, over the next 1000 years A LOT more people will know who Heisenberg is than say Britney Spears or Michael Jackson, even though they are both leading right now. Most people in the US probably don't know who Will Rogers is today, but 50 years ago he was one of the most famous people in the country.

[theBruiser500]

But if d/dy does nothing to e^x, how is it funny? e^x isn't in danger.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]


This brings up and interesting point

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok, maybe interesting isn't the right word.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
But if d/dy does nothing to e^x, how is it funny? e^x isn't in danger.

[/ QUOTE ]I think because you have to use d/dx to find the derivative of e^x and not d/dy.

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But if d/dy does nothing to e^x, how is it funny? e^x isn't in danger.

[/ QUOTE ]I think because you have to use d/dx to find the derivative of e^x and not d/dy.

[/ QUOTE ]
Even if you use d/dx, d/dx(e^x)=e^x, so it still doesn't make sense.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
But if d/dy does nothing to e^x, how is it funny? e^x isn't in danger.

[/ QUOTE ]I think because you have to use d/dx to find the derivative of e^x and not d/dy.

[/ QUOTE ]
Even if you use d/dx, d/dx(e^x)=e^x, so it still doesn't make sense.

[/ QUOTE ]

The point is that e^x thought it was d/dx, so he was safe, but in fact it was his brother d/dy. I don't recall d/dy of e^x is, so it is probably something nasty.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
da Vinci, Galileo, and Newton were pretty famous. So are Archimides, Copernicus, Sagan, and Feynman, to a lesser extent.

[/ QUOTE ]
Your point is made. I'll give you Newton & Galileo. Although, I'll bet a man-on-street poll in the U.S. wouldn't give you 50% who know what they did. da Vinci? Much more than a physicist, and more famous for other things. Those others yes, but I've no idea who Feynman is. Still, who the hell is Heisenberg?

[ QUOTE ]
This brings up and interesting point, though. Just how do you categorize fame? I mean, really, over the next 1000 years A LOT more people will know who Heisenberg is than say Britney Spears or Michael Jackson, even though they are both leading right now. Most people in the US probably don't know who Will Rogers is today, but 50 years ago he was one of the most famous people in the country.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who the hell is Michael Jackson?

[slickpoppa]

If you assume that e^x=y, then d/dy(e^x)= dy/dy = 1. It's still not funny

[ClaytonN]

K, I'll explain.

The derivative changes a lot of equations. The lone equation that is unaltered to d/dx is e^x.

So, e^x thought he was safe until the derivative said he was d/dy, in which case he would cancel out the e^x to make one.

[ClaytonN]

Here is the d/dx joke, translated:

A lion walks into a bar full of animals. All the animals scatter except a plant, who stays by the bar.

The plant says "Hah! You're screwed, I'm a plant"

And the lion says "Hah! I'm a vegetarian"

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Here is the d/dx joke, translated:

A lion walks into a bar full of animals. All the animals scatter except a plant, who stays by the bar.

The plant says "Hah! You're screwed, I'm a plant"

And the lion says "Hah! I'm a vegetarian"

/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
Very nice.

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
da Vinci? Much more than a physicist, and more famous for other things. Those others yes, but I've no idea who Feynman is. Still, who the hell is Heisenberg?



[/ QUOTE ]

Tru, da Vinci was actually the best in so many things in his time it is hard to fathom.

Feynman is arguably the best american pysicist ever. You may remember him from the NASA investigation of the Challenger explosion, or not.

The uncertainty principle states that you cannot know both an objects velocity and location beyond a certain point. This is not just a practical point (i.e. measuring one disturbs the other due to the interaction) but an actual physical reality. In fact, Einsteins Nobel prize came for the photo electric effect, where he took the uncertainty principle and applied it to light (that is there is a basic minimum energy for light of a given wavelength, and that the energy of light for that wavelenght was a discrete multiple of that energy.)

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
the best american pysicist ever.

[/ QUOTE ]
o.k. now that's an oxymoron.

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
The uncertainty principle states that you cannot know both an objects velocity and location beyond a certain point. This is not just a practical point (i.e. measuring one disturbs the other due to the interaction) but an actual physical reality. In fact, Einsteins Nobel prize came for the photo electric effect, where he took the uncertainty principle and applied it to light (that is there is a basic minimum energy for light of a given wavelength, and that the energy of light for that wavelenght was a discrete multiple of that energy.)

[/ QUOTE ]
Interesting. I wish there were whole books of short explainations like this, because it's really as much as I'd ever like to know about most things...oh, wait. That's called an encyclopedia.

[brassnuts]

It's been about 4 years since I've done any sort of math non-poker related, so bare with me. But, let's see.

y = e^x --> ln y = x

d/dy(ln y)=d/dy(x) --> 1/y = x'

OK, I forget where to go from here. But, x looks like its hurtin'.

[felson]

In the joke, you're supposed to regard x and y as independent variables, and the d/dy operation as a partial derivative. (The joke doesn't make sense if you assume y = e^x or something similar.) Using this assumption...

To d/dy, e^x looks like a constant, so the partial derivative is zero.

d/dx (e^x) = e^x, which is why e^x is not afraid.

d/dy (e^x) = 0, which is why he should be.

The vegetarian lion joke is a perfect translation.

[DBowling]

now THATS funny. or at least funnier than the previous two jokes

[private joker]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
(Really, you have never heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle???)

[/ QUOTE ]
No.

[/ QUOTE ]

The best movie to use Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle as both a comic device and a dramatic theme is Joel Coen's "The Man Who Wasn't There."

[youtalkfunny]

[ QUOTE ]
I wish there were whole books of short explainations like this, because it's really as much as I'd ever like to know about most things...oh, wait. That's called an encyclopedia.

[/ QUOTE ]

I grew up in the internet age.

What's an encyclopedia?

[fnord_too]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I wish there were whole books of short explainations like this, because it's really as much as I'd ever like to know about most things...oh, wait. That's called an encyclopedia.

[/ QUOTE ]

I grew up in the internet age.

What's an encyclopedia?

[/ QUOTE ]
Allow me to translate...

Wikipedia

[daryn]

you guys are all morons.

d/dy just treats e^x as a constant, and when it differentiates it, it vanishes.


edit: i just saw how felson set everyone straight. in conclusion, everyone but me & felson is a moron.

[nothumb]

[ QUOTE ]
you guys are all morons.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes, but not for the reasons you listed.

NT

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
you guys are all morons.

d/dy just treats e^x as a constant, and when it differentiates it, it vanishes.


edit: i just saw how felson set everyone straight. in conclusion, everyone but me felson is a moron.

[/ QUOTE ]
Thank you for finally solidifying your nerdiness.

[daryn]

i know sh[/b]it.

[brassnuts]

You're not a nerd because you know this stuff. You're a nerd because you think everyone else is a moron for not.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
i know sh[/b]it.

[/ QUOTE ]the most important question is, were the jokes funny?

[brassnuts]

Uhh... if by funny you actually mean pathetic, yeah they were hilarious.

[stabn]

I'm not sure...

[Duke]

I think David made the point a while ago that most poker players couldn't even get a physics degree if they tried, and most probably never heard of the uncertainty principle.

I like the joke better when it's a lepton, and not Heisenberg himself.

If you follow this up with some sort of a joke relying on the idea that some particle histories involve steps backward in time, well, even fewer posters will get it.

EDIT: Perhaps something with the punchline... NOT YET!

~D

[Tron]

Okay, so there's this atom running around going, "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!" and another atom comes up to him and asks, "Are you okay?" The first atom says, "No, I lost an electron!" The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender hands him the drink, he asks "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you... no charge."

BA-DUM CHING!!!

[ThaSaltCracka]

<groan>

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, so there's this atom running around going, "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!" and another atom comes up to him and asks, "Are you okay?" The first atom says, "No, I lost an electron!" The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

[/ QUOTE ]

I really like this joke because normal people feel smart for understanding it, despite it being rudimentary.

~D

[Oski]

For math humor, I'll take the opening sequence from "Rushmore."

[edtost]

that doesn't make him a nerd, it just makes him elitist.

[jstnrgrs]

[ QUOTE ]
I have never heard of him, thus, he is not famous. Sorry, thats how it works.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you have never heard of him, then the joke went over your haed (contrary to what you said earlier in the thread.)

[ClaytonN]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, so there's this atom running around going, "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!" and another atom comes up to him and asks, "Are you okay?" The first atom says, "No, I lost an electron!" The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

[/ QUOTE ]

I actually laughed at this one /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have never heard of him, thus, he is not famous. Sorry, thats how it works.

[/ QUOTE ]

If you have never heard of him, then the joke went over your haed (contrary to what you said earlier in the thread.)

[/ QUOTE ]google takes like a second.

[felson]

[ QUOTE ]
edit: i just saw how felson set everyone straight. in conclusion, everyone but me & felson is a moron.

[/ QUOTE ]

*sniff* That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me in 2005!

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
i know sh[/b]it.

[/ QUOTE ]the most important question is, were the jokes funny?

[/ QUOTE ]


clearly not

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
You're not a nerd because you know this stuff. You're a nerd because you think everyone else is a moron for not.

[/ QUOTE ]


i just think it's funny that a guy is so adamant about an incorrect answer, and then another guy seconds him.

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i know sh[/b]it.

[/ QUOTE ]the most important question is, were the jokes funny?

[/ QUOTE ]


clearly not

[/ QUOTE ]
good good.

[MelchyBeau]

I admited the joke was lame. Never thought I would stir up such a discussion like this.

Just as an off note, I am guessing I am not the only one on this board with a physics degree. Is this a common major for 2+2?

Melch

[daryn]

common? i doubt it.

[felson]

Physics is certainly not common, but I think math/science/engineering disciplines are overrepresented among 2+2 posters, relative to the general internet community. FWIW, I studied EECS myself.

[Duke]

[ QUOTE ]
Just as an off note, I am guessing I am not the only one on this board with a physics degree. Is this a common major for 2+2?

[/ QUOTE ]

It's doubtful, but I'd imagine that there are several people on this site who have learned physics far beyond what your typical physics major would, whether they studied it in school or not.

~D

[jakethebake]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, so there's this atom running around going, "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!" and another atom comes up to him and asks, "Are you okay?" The first atom says, "No, I lost an electron!" The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender hands him the drink, he asks "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you... no charge."

BA-DUM CHING!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
Hey! I actually get those! Doesn't make em funny tho. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[daryn]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
Okay, so there's this atom running around going, "Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!" and another atom comes up to him and asks, "Are you okay?" The first atom says, "No, I lost an electron!" The second atom asks, "Are you sure?" The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the bartender hands him the drink, he asks "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies, "For you... no charge."

BA-DUM CHING!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
Hey! I actually get those! Doesn't make em funny tho. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In risposta di:</font><hr />
I really like this joke because normal people feel smart for understanding it, despite it being rudimentary.

~D(uke)


[/ QUOTE ]