Daliman
12-30-2004, 05:05 AM
Well, I got to LV a week ago Sunday and summarily pummelled the Frontier's Pai Gow game for $60 in short order before hitting the hay after getting in late. The next day i won a quick $35o in the 2-5 NL game at the Mirage before getting a call that Tipsy had gotten in. Met up with him and he showed me the finer points on how to turn $600 into a chip tornado at the craps table, not to mention a 40-80 game we later played. Among my favorite exchanges of the trip;
Weak/ABC playing Dealer's girlfriend,(after raising Tipsy's BB) bets confidently after AK6 rainbow flop hits.
Tipsy: "I like you, I'll give you $$$.
In-over-his-head-skillwise-but-not-bankrollwise bussinessman also calls. Turn is 9s, 2 spades now on board, check, check, ABC chick bets,
Tipsy: "OK, one more call."
Businessman along for the ride calls. River is 6h.
Tipsy bets out...(he had been playing VERY erratically up to this point, to say the least, and had straddled twice before this)
Businessman, reluctantly calls, and ABC chick stares at him in disbelief before stacking and inserting $80 worth of chips into what may as well have been a black hole for the chance she would ever see them again.
Tipsy, has, of course, 6s4s.
ABC Chick:"You know you were beat before the river, right?"
Apparently, 40-80 is not enough action to keep tipsy occupied. Unfortunately, the tilt-a-whirl I had tipped Tipsy off to decided better of his challenge to play Tipsy heads up 100-200 Tipsy had Set him off a bit. A shame...
Next morning, I drop $1800 playing BJ for $50-400 a hand at mirage in about 45 minutes. I count cards, (not exceptionally well though), but I can get the money out like nobody's business when the tens and aces are to come with zero heat. Anyways, the telling hand of the session was when i had a decent positive count, but only one ace dealt almost halfway through the deck. 3 blacks inch to the circle, and I am dealt an ace first card to the dealer's 7. Sweet, let's make this quick and painless. I get another Ace. Now, to those unfamiliar with the nuances of BJ, a blackjack is obviously the most profitable hand you can have; AA is the second most, ESPECIALLY when the count is up. I'm happy that my brilliance has put me in a good situation, push out $300 more, and see another ace and a 5 hit my hands, and an ace being under the dealer's 7...
Well, i DID know the aces were outs there.
Meanwhile, the gambling gods continue to smile on Tipsy, who wins $2400 sitting right next to me playing with zero regard for count and only a cursury knowledge of basic strategy. Bah on him.
We then move to craps again, I lose $250 on the minimal edge bets and decide there was good reason why I never played craps, and peruse the poker room. Still dead. Back to BJ.
I buy in for 1k, and lose my 4 first hands in an escalating count to knock me down to 11 green chips left, which I place in the circle much like my head in the guillotine, and begin to ponder how many $200 SNG's I will have to play to recoup the last hour's tragedy,(114), when my hard 13 is hit with a 7 and the dealer's 8 up hides a 9. A couple hands late in the new deck, I have a +5 count and $250 out when I am dealt 88 vs the dealer's ace.... I'm so frustrated by the good situation gone horribly wrong that I forget to (properly) take insurance, and am actually somewhat chagrind that she didn't, cutting my losses to only $250 on this hand the mnemonic in my head won't let me forget..
"ALWAYS split Aces and Eights!"
With the debacle of the previous split aces still fresh in mind, I was thinking that I would much rather now take up the offer a dealer gave to one Clark W. Griswold in "Vegas Vacation"
" How 'bout you just give me half yer money, I kick you in the balls, and we call it even?"
So I dutifully Push out another $250 an get a King on my first 8. Ok, half decent, but still a long-run loser in BJ, especially versus an Ace. On to the other 8, which she hits with..
an 8................
Daliman:"Boy, you ARE going to make this as painful as humanly possible, aren't you?"
So I ran the mnemonic in my head again, partially for reinforcement of my ensuing action, and partially hoping there was a caveat for except after C or when sounding like "A" as in neighbor or weigh . No such luck. $250 of my remaining $450 in chips joins their woebegone brethren. The first eight gets a 2, then a Jack for 20, and I don't now feel quite so bad, and I get an ace on the third eight. Not too shabby at all.
Dealer flips a 4 under the ace, places a 9 and a Queen next to it, and I do the happy dance. $1500 swing. I end up getting back $700 of what I had lost previously, but not b4 this brutal run;
Count is +9running about 1/2 deck in, only 1 ace played.
I have $300 bet
Me: King ace
Dealer: king up, checks and has BJ, and I can't insure(which I would have)
Next hand same $300 bet;
Me: 8,7,6
dealer:9,3,9
Next hand, again $300;
Me:5,9,7
Dealer:6,5,2,3,shuffle card (NO!),5
So, not only do i not win a dime with BJ and 2 21's in 3 hands, a +13 or so with5 aces left is shuffled away.
After that, Tipsy and I decided we needed to catch a few Z's before hitting the bars for my true area of expertise...
KARAOKE! /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif
We decided to do the tried and true Video poker semi scam, except Tipsy played 20 hands+ an hour the whole time we were there, but for my $30 loss, I had 8 Kahlua and creams(why yes, I WILL take a skirt with that!), 2 Tequila shots, and a yardarm of Margarita. I called Irieguy while there, and he met up with us at Harrah's piano bar, after I had already given my award-winning rendition of "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" and my much-beloved version of "Working for the weekend" to an adoring crowd. The dualing Pianos took over at 9 and Tipsy's vagina was chafing on him, so he went up to bed. not liking not being the center of attention at the piano bar now(two hot blondes playing piano at singing, yay), I recommend we go next door to Imperial Palace's Karaoke and I again opened with my signature song, which produced such a fanfare that I was asked to immediately follow it up with "You Sexy Thing". The place was jumping, Irieguy was Agape that such sounds could come from such a small white man, and my 64 year old uncle was dancing with 25 year old women who were WAY too old for him. After finishing the margarita and another kahlua and cream, I did "Livin' on a Prayer", and hit the hay.
Next day, I go over to bellagio for some 30-60 and Puggy Pearson happened to be in the game, not only playing horrendously badly, but angle shooting also, near as I could tell. While I was stacking my chips from my buyin, I half-witnessed this hand.
River, puggy bets, is called, he says "straight", and rolls over 89o. I could've sworn the board was something like A374T, but the dealer pushed him the pot and scooped them before I could verify. A little later, puggy called on the river, was shown a flopped set, and with three clubs on the board turned over his 9c said "flush", before mucking his hand... Seems to me the old guys are cut a LOT more slack than anyone else would be, just sad that they feel a need to resort to it. I drop $1300 before making a run up to only a $150 loss, then lose $850 in the 20-40 mirage game.
Later that night, I meet Irieguy at the Mirage for their $230 buyin/$200 single rebuy NL tourney. We agree to a straight chop before the tourney begins, and both have slighly below average stacks when the field is whittled down from 89 to about 23, with 9 getting paid. I get sent to a table where one player hads about 35k of the total 115k or so in play, and am informed he has knocked the last 7 players off the table, including the last 4 to sit in from a new table, all from WAY behind. About 15 hands later he's knocked two more out in similar fashion. With the blinds at 150-300, I push 7 handed 2nd to act with QTo for 2375 after seeing the BB already making a mucking action with his cards and the SB looking similarly disinterested in calling. The "Terminator" is next to act, and he thinks for awhile, then calls, and I get ready to get up. He has QTd, and we chop. Fine by me. NExt hand, I have ATo UTG. I push immediately, terminator look down and call me immediately, everyone else folds, and again, I think I'm killed, until he says;
"It's not that good. A pair has me."
He turns over A5h.
Daliman: "I'm screwed, ain't I?"
Table,(in unison): "Yep"
Flop of QJ9 raibow turns me from 3-1 favorite to 11-1 fave, but turn 5 sentences me to the fate I knew was mine when he showed his hand. River 3 ends it.
Luckily, Irieguy has since doubled up, and ends up at the final table. After I dispense a few nuggets of Daliwisdom("Win, Dammit, I need the $$$!./ Get aces, have them hold up.), he ends up in the final 4.
Couple things about Irieguy. HE looks like a pretty mild-mannered guy, and he is. Makes ya think of Richie Cunningham and Apple. The kinda guy you'd look at and not mind that he sticks his hands in yer wife's crotch for a living. But MAN can he play poker. Knows all the numbers, exploits every edge, scrutinizes every piece of information available, and induces a few that aren't, and is methodical without being annoying. It took me about 3 hands of watching to figure out the class of the table. Needless to say, I was jockey on the right horse.
he asked my opinion on a deal if one was offered, and my take was that he had a decided advantage over the rest of the table, as only one of the remaining 6 at the time seemed anywhere NEEAR comfortable with final table play, and as long as the blinds were'nt TOO onerous, he should play it out. He concurred.
4 handed, an interesting hand came up. BLinds are 2k-5k and Irie had ~T30K in the SB and had action to him after the other 2 in folded. Irie, looked at his cards and placd a chip on them, then studied his opponent. The BB was a 60ish guy,~20k, who seemed to be clawing his cards when he was ready to throw them in at times, but also raised once after doing so, so not much to glean from that info. When he noticed Irie studying him, he put a chip om his cards and sat back. About 30 seconds went by, and I had a strong feeling that Irie was weak and was about to muck, when a waitress came by the table. She asked if anyone wanted a drink and was rebuffed by the tournement director, but then the 60ish guy in the BB hailed her and gave her a drink order! Now, that's not usually something someone who is concerned about his hand will do, but it could mean he's not concerned cuz he's got a huge hand. But then, as soon as he placed the order, he stared right back at Irie. Question answered. I PRAYED Irie picked all this up. Irie raised allin, and BB folded immediately /images/graemlins/grin.gif. Irie later told me he did, in fact, have rags there.
When it got down to three handed, Irieguy had ~T55k to the other 2 having each T30K when a hand only an internet player could love came up. Irie Was in the BB for 5k when the button folded, and the SB immediately moved allin on him. Irie called in about 2 seconds and i knew he was likely way ahead, which was confirmed by his opponent who showed 28d to Irie's AhJd. Flop came AK6 rainbow, and my man was about to be headsup versus a guy who couldn't stop shaking with a 3-1 chip lead. Turn is an 8, and I am counting what my cut is of the $7317 first prize, and the river is a 2... I spin and punch the air, and Irie's expression never changes. 70-1 favorite and he loses. /images/graemlins/frown.gif. He did return the favor twice versus the same player shortly thereafter howver when he sucked out A3d vs KK and J7d vs QQ before the blinds went up to 4k-10k. First hand at this level, Irie pushes from the SB after the button folds with ~T22k, and the BB, with 10K in and ~40k more behind, inexplicably yet predictably folds getting over 2.5-1 on his $$$, and they cut a 3 way deal the next hand, salvaging my trip. God love Irieguy. Someone said we must celebrate in the vicinity of unsheathed breasts, and CH2 got their cut of our skill-gotten gains.
Next day, Bellagio 30-60 treated me badly as it did before, and I lost $650, ending the trip a $150 loser. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif Had a great time though, but MAN did i miss the Dalibaby, and to a much lesser extent, the Daliwoman.
Weak/ABC playing Dealer's girlfriend,(after raising Tipsy's BB) bets confidently after AK6 rainbow flop hits.
Tipsy: "I like you, I'll give you $$$.
In-over-his-head-skillwise-but-not-bankrollwise bussinessman also calls. Turn is 9s, 2 spades now on board, check, check, ABC chick bets,
Tipsy: "OK, one more call."
Businessman along for the ride calls. River is 6h.
Tipsy bets out...(he had been playing VERY erratically up to this point, to say the least, and had straddled twice before this)
Businessman, reluctantly calls, and ABC chick stares at him in disbelief before stacking and inserting $80 worth of chips into what may as well have been a black hole for the chance she would ever see them again.
Tipsy, has, of course, 6s4s.
ABC Chick:"You know you were beat before the river, right?"
Apparently, 40-80 is not enough action to keep tipsy occupied. Unfortunately, the tilt-a-whirl I had tipped Tipsy off to decided better of his challenge to play Tipsy heads up 100-200 Tipsy had Set him off a bit. A shame...
Next morning, I drop $1800 playing BJ for $50-400 a hand at mirage in about 45 minutes. I count cards, (not exceptionally well though), but I can get the money out like nobody's business when the tens and aces are to come with zero heat. Anyways, the telling hand of the session was when i had a decent positive count, but only one ace dealt almost halfway through the deck. 3 blacks inch to the circle, and I am dealt an ace first card to the dealer's 7. Sweet, let's make this quick and painless. I get another Ace. Now, to those unfamiliar with the nuances of BJ, a blackjack is obviously the most profitable hand you can have; AA is the second most, ESPECIALLY when the count is up. I'm happy that my brilliance has put me in a good situation, push out $300 more, and see another ace and a 5 hit my hands, and an ace being under the dealer's 7...
Well, i DID know the aces were outs there.
Meanwhile, the gambling gods continue to smile on Tipsy, who wins $2400 sitting right next to me playing with zero regard for count and only a cursury knowledge of basic strategy. Bah on him.
We then move to craps again, I lose $250 on the minimal edge bets and decide there was good reason why I never played craps, and peruse the poker room. Still dead. Back to BJ.
I buy in for 1k, and lose my 4 first hands in an escalating count to knock me down to 11 green chips left, which I place in the circle much like my head in the guillotine, and begin to ponder how many $200 SNG's I will have to play to recoup the last hour's tragedy,(114), when my hard 13 is hit with a 7 and the dealer's 8 up hides a 9. A couple hands late in the new deck, I have a +5 count and $250 out when I am dealt 88 vs the dealer's ace.... I'm so frustrated by the good situation gone horribly wrong that I forget to (properly) take insurance, and am actually somewhat chagrind that she didn't, cutting my losses to only $250 on this hand the mnemonic in my head won't let me forget..
"ALWAYS split Aces and Eights!"
With the debacle of the previous split aces still fresh in mind, I was thinking that I would much rather now take up the offer a dealer gave to one Clark W. Griswold in "Vegas Vacation"
" How 'bout you just give me half yer money, I kick you in the balls, and we call it even?"
So I dutifully Push out another $250 an get a King on my first 8. Ok, half decent, but still a long-run loser in BJ, especially versus an Ace. On to the other 8, which she hits with..
an 8................
Daliman:"Boy, you ARE going to make this as painful as humanly possible, aren't you?"
So I ran the mnemonic in my head again, partially for reinforcement of my ensuing action, and partially hoping there was a caveat for except after C or when sounding like "A" as in neighbor or weigh . No such luck. $250 of my remaining $450 in chips joins their woebegone brethren. The first eight gets a 2, then a Jack for 20, and I don't now feel quite so bad, and I get an ace on the third eight. Not too shabby at all.
Dealer flips a 4 under the ace, places a 9 and a Queen next to it, and I do the happy dance. $1500 swing. I end up getting back $700 of what I had lost previously, but not b4 this brutal run;
Count is +9running about 1/2 deck in, only 1 ace played.
I have $300 bet
Me: King ace
Dealer: king up, checks and has BJ, and I can't insure(which I would have)
Next hand same $300 bet;
Me: 8,7,6
dealer:9,3,9
Next hand, again $300;
Me:5,9,7
Dealer:6,5,2,3,shuffle card (NO!),5
So, not only do i not win a dime with BJ and 2 21's in 3 hands, a +13 or so with5 aces left is shuffled away.
After that, Tipsy and I decided we needed to catch a few Z's before hitting the bars for my true area of expertise...
KARAOKE! /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif
We decided to do the tried and true Video poker semi scam, except Tipsy played 20 hands+ an hour the whole time we were there, but for my $30 loss, I had 8 Kahlua and creams(why yes, I WILL take a skirt with that!), 2 Tequila shots, and a yardarm of Margarita. I called Irieguy while there, and he met up with us at Harrah's piano bar, after I had already given my award-winning rendition of "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" and my much-beloved version of "Working for the weekend" to an adoring crowd. The dualing Pianos took over at 9 and Tipsy's vagina was chafing on him, so he went up to bed. not liking not being the center of attention at the piano bar now(two hot blondes playing piano at singing, yay), I recommend we go next door to Imperial Palace's Karaoke and I again opened with my signature song, which produced such a fanfare that I was asked to immediately follow it up with "You Sexy Thing". The place was jumping, Irieguy was Agape that such sounds could come from such a small white man, and my 64 year old uncle was dancing with 25 year old women who were WAY too old for him. After finishing the margarita and another kahlua and cream, I did "Livin' on a Prayer", and hit the hay.
Next day, I go over to bellagio for some 30-60 and Puggy Pearson happened to be in the game, not only playing horrendously badly, but angle shooting also, near as I could tell. While I was stacking my chips from my buyin, I half-witnessed this hand.
River, puggy bets, is called, he says "straight", and rolls over 89o. I could've sworn the board was something like A374T, but the dealer pushed him the pot and scooped them before I could verify. A little later, puggy called on the river, was shown a flopped set, and with three clubs on the board turned over his 9c said "flush", before mucking his hand... Seems to me the old guys are cut a LOT more slack than anyone else would be, just sad that they feel a need to resort to it. I drop $1300 before making a run up to only a $150 loss, then lose $850 in the 20-40 mirage game.
Later that night, I meet Irieguy at the Mirage for their $230 buyin/$200 single rebuy NL tourney. We agree to a straight chop before the tourney begins, and both have slighly below average stacks when the field is whittled down from 89 to about 23, with 9 getting paid. I get sent to a table where one player hads about 35k of the total 115k or so in play, and am informed he has knocked the last 7 players off the table, including the last 4 to sit in from a new table, all from WAY behind. About 15 hands later he's knocked two more out in similar fashion. With the blinds at 150-300, I push 7 handed 2nd to act with QTo for 2375 after seeing the BB already making a mucking action with his cards and the SB looking similarly disinterested in calling. The "Terminator" is next to act, and he thinks for awhile, then calls, and I get ready to get up. He has QTd, and we chop. Fine by me. NExt hand, I have ATo UTG. I push immediately, terminator look down and call me immediately, everyone else folds, and again, I think I'm killed, until he says;
"It's not that good. A pair has me."
He turns over A5h.
Daliman: "I'm screwed, ain't I?"
Table,(in unison): "Yep"
Flop of QJ9 raibow turns me from 3-1 favorite to 11-1 fave, but turn 5 sentences me to the fate I knew was mine when he showed his hand. River 3 ends it.
Luckily, Irieguy has since doubled up, and ends up at the final table. After I dispense a few nuggets of Daliwisdom("Win, Dammit, I need the $$$!./ Get aces, have them hold up.), he ends up in the final 4.
Couple things about Irieguy. HE looks like a pretty mild-mannered guy, and he is. Makes ya think of Richie Cunningham and Apple. The kinda guy you'd look at and not mind that he sticks his hands in yer wife's crotch for a living. But MAN can he play poker. Knows all the numbers, exploits every edge, scrutinizes every piece of information available, and induces a few that aren't, and is methodical without being annoying. It took me about 3 hands of watching to figure out the class of the table. Needless to say, I was jockey on the right horse.
he asked my opinion on a deal if one was offered, and my take was that he had a decided advantage over the rest of the table, as only one of the remaining 6 at the time seemed anywhere NEEAR comfortable with final table play, and as long as the blinds were'nt TOO onerous, he should play it out. He concurred.
4 handed, an interesting hand came up. BLinds are 2k-5k and Irie had ~T30K in the SB and had action to him after the other 2 in folded. Irie, looked at his cards and placd a chip on them, then studied his opponent. The BB was a 60ish guy,~20k, who seemed to be clawing his cards when he was ready to throw them in at times, but also raised once after doing so, so not much to glean from that info. When he noticed Irie studying him, he put a chip om his cards and sat back. About 30 seconds went by, and I had a strong feeling that Irie was weak and was about to muck, when a waitress came by the table. She asked if anyone wanted a drink and was rebuffed by the tournement director, but then the 60ish guy in the BB hailed her and gave her a drink order! Now, that's not usually something someone who is concerned about his hand will do, but it could mean he's not concerned cuz he's got a huge hand. But then, as soon as he placed the order, he stared right back at Irie. Question answered. I PRAYED Irie picked all this up. Irie raised allin, and BB folded immediately /images/graemlins/grin.gif. Irie later told me he did, in fact, have rags there.
When it got down to three handed, Irieguy had ~T55k to the other 2 having each T30K when a hand only an internet player could love came up. Irie Was in the BB for 5k when the button folded, and the SB immediately moved allin on him. Irie called in about 2 seconds and i knew he was likely way ahead, which was confirmed by his opponent who showed 28d to Irie's AhJd. Flop came AK6 rainbow, and my man was about to be headsup versus a guy who couldn't stop shaking with a 3-1 chip lead. Turn is an 8, and I am counting what my cut is of the $7317 first prize, and the river is a 2... I spin and punch the air, and Irie's expression never changes. 70-1 favorite and he loses. /images/graemlins/frown.gif. He did return the favor twice versus the same player shortly thereafter howver when he sucked out A3d vs KK and J7d vs QQ before the blinds went up to 4k-10k. First hand at this level, Irie pushes from the SB after the button folds with ~T22k, and the BB, with 10K in and ~40k more behind, inexplicably yet predictably folds getting over 2.5-1 on his $$$, and they cut a 3 way deal the next hand, salvaging my trip. God love Irieguy. Someone said we must celebrate in the vicinity of unsheathed breasts, and CH2 got their cut of our skill-gotten gains.
Next day, Bellagio 30-60 treated me badly as it did before, and I lost $650, ending the trip a $150 loser. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif Had a great time though, but MAN did i miss the Dalibaby, and to a much lesser extent, the Daliwoman.