Autographs

[johnnycakes]

I don't get it. I'd rather have a picture with the person than their signature.

Say I buy a Michael Jordan autograph on ebay. What is so different about that than say, walking on the court in Chicago. They're both place Jordan has been, and they are both meaningless (to me). Then again, I can't own a piece of the court...

Your thoughts?

[dr. klopek]

If I was famous, I don't think I'd sign them. It just doesn't make any sense. Why would my signature be worth something? It's not worth anything now. It would only get worse if I was signing them all day. It's not useful, or particularly good-looking.

Being not-famous I still don't understand it. If I like someone's music let's say, what does the autograph have to do with music? Why would I want just anything that had anything to do with them? That's like having clothes with some dude's name all over them. What am I, in love with this person? What the autographs...?

[BusterStacks]

I would sign all kinds of stuff, it's good for kids who look up to you and [censored].

[plaster8]

Even though I've got a couple, I generally agree that seeking autographs is pointless. However, if I met someone I really admired, and didn't have a camera, I might ask for one.

Example:

I met Larry Walker (baseball player) at a bar in Vancouver, B.C. during the baseball strike in 1994. We talked for about 10 minutes, but I had no camera, so I had him sign a Canadian $2 bill as a memento for me. (He was my favorite player when he was with Montreal.)

He asked if he could keep the bill -- "I'm not getting paid while I'm on strike, I need the money."

[youtalkfunny]

It drives me nuts when I see GROWN PEOPLE act like drooling idiots in the presence of celebrity. The height of this idiocy is the autograph.

You met Arte Johnson at Safeway? Bumped into Emilio Estevez at the airport? Ran into the Iron Sheik at Blockbuster? Good for you! You must be thrilled! No, I don't want to see the cocktail napkin he scribbled on for you.

Thank goodness I'm not famous. I'd blow my top every time somebody bothered me with that crap.

"But that's a small price to pay for fame and fortune. If it weren't for all of us stalking autograph hounds, you wouldn't have all that money."

Hey, me having money does not give you the right to interrupt my dinner! AND FOR WHAT? A *token*??? Why can't "I saw Ralph Macchio at Red Lobster," be enough? Why does it need to be documented? As if a scribble on a scrap of paper is "documentation".

If you happen to meet a celebrity, try this: TALK TO THEM LIKE THEY WERE NORMAL PEOPLE. They LOVE this! Next time you see Brent Musberger in the sportsbook (not a rare sighting), don't go kiss his ass--ask him who he likes today! He'll eat that crap right up! You can probably hang out with him for a while--he won't be trying to shoo you away like you were a pesky mosquito.

Hey, even I have heroes. When I was younger, Billy Joel's lyrics meant a lot to me. If I ever meet him, I'll try to tell him.

IF CIRCUMSTANCES WARRANT IT. If that meeting takes place in a church, I'll wait until we're outside. And I won't be asking for any stinking autograph!

A bartender at DFW airport told me about the time Nate Newton (Dallas Cowboy and local hero) and a few pals hung out in her bar for a few hours. Lots of laughs all around. As they were leaving, the bartender asked big Nate for an autograph. The smile fell abruptly from his face. "There goes your tip," he snarled as he walked out.

Oh yeah, here's another story, coincidentally from Billy Joel. One of his famous traffic accidents happened when he was thrown from his motorcycle. He told Letterman, "My hands were swelling up, big as watermelons, my thumbs are broken, and this cop is asking me, 'Wow, Billy Joel! Can I have you're autograph?' I'm like, 'Can we think about getting me to a HOSPITAL?'"

Autographs, PHOOEY!