PhatTBoll's Guide to Getting Attention

[PhatTBoll]

Have you felt a little lost in the crowd lately? Follow this guide and watch the heads turn in your direction!

1. Get really drunk on beer, gin, vodka, whiskey, car bombs, and God knows what else.

2. Be a belligerent ass and piss off your friends.

3. Leave their house in a stupor at 3 a.m. with the intent of walking 4 miles back to your apartment by yourself.

4. On the way home, take a header into a curb (Helpful Hint: avoid breaking your fall with your arms).

5. Lose consciousness by the side of the road for a little while.

6. Return to your apartment and listen to your wife shriek in horror at your disfigured face.

7. Over the next couple days, simply walk around in public.


Just adhere to the guide and your anonymity will be cured!

[ThaSaltCracka]

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

This happened to you, didn't it?


/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
This happened to you, didn't it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Friday night

[oddjob]

[ QUOTE ]
Have you felt a little lost in the crowd lately? Follow this guide and watch the heads turn in your direction!

1. Get really drunk on beer, gin, vodka, whiskey, car bombs, and God knows what else.

2. Be a belligerent ass and piss off your friends.

3. Leave their house in a stupor at 3 a.m. with the intent of walking 4 miles back to your apartment by yourself.

4. On the way home, take a header into a curb (Helpful Hint: avoid breaking your fall with your arms).

5. Lose consciousness by the side of the road for a little while.

6. Return to your apartment and listen to your wife shriek in horror at your disfigured face.

7. Over the next couple days, simply walk around in public.


Just adhere to the guide and your anonymity will be cured!

[/ QUOTE ]

sounds like my friday night.

except:

2. be an ass and horrify your friends with your [censored] up sense of humor.

4. surprise yourself by jumping your fat arse over a cyclone fence too far and too high, cutting your hand up in the process.

5. have your friend laugh at this roll her ankle on her high heels and cut up her knee

my face doesnt' need to be disfigured to have women shriek in horror.

good times, huh?

[ThaSaltCracka]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This happened to you, didn't it?

[/ QUOTE ]

Friday night

[/ QUOTE ]I think this has happened to most of us.

One time when I was going to school in Montana, my buddy and I drank a half gallon of cheap as vodka by ourselves. After drinking half of it, we went down to the student union area for some show, where we made asses of ourselves /images/graemlins/grin.gif. Then we went back up to my dorm room, played some MK 64, finished the rest off, and went outside for some drunken sledding. We almost beat the crap out of some high school kids. Then we went back inside, wrestled the halls, drank more beer and were totally absurd. I woke up the next day, my keys were gone, my glasses were lost, and there was orange juice everywhere.

About two days later someone turned in my glasses and they were [censored] up, good times. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

[PhatTBoll]

Nice.

The best part of the whole thing for me is that I have only very minor scratches on one hand and no scratches at all on my knees or elbows.

If somebody had been videotaping my fall, it would be either very funny, very cringe-inducing, or both.

[cnfuzzd]

My "best" night.

Begin around 3:00pm. Enjoy day off. Drink case of milwaukees beast light. Nectar of the gods. Piss of pansy theater-magor roommate by calling him a [censored]. When he points out he has a girlfriend, describe how girlfriend looks like a twelve year old boy, how you think its crap hes cheating on her, and try to kick his ass. Let other roommate intervene since you have many more people to piss off.

5:00. Dine at italian dive that has 2 for 1 pitchers, and whose hot waitresses only charge you for about every fourth. Drink copious amounts of alcohol, with a few shots thrown in. When some chick from your work, who no one really likes, interrupts your drunken non-sense with hers, look coldly at her and say with as much disdain as possible,"you know sunshine, the only reason you are here is no one is willing to tell you that no one likes you, you dumb drunk bitch." Then go on to make fun of the fact that she has some STD that no one is supposed to know about. Try to leave without paying but after tipping. Thats a tricky one.

Go to club. Have no been intensely consuming alcohol for several hours, and am in and out of reality. To snap back to, first spill beer on some fratboy's girlfriend. Let your hot chick friends almost mediate a resolution before wisely chiming in that he is a "gay-ass pussy" (im told thats what i said) Then, after he apparently does nothing, suggest to hot-chick friends that its time to go find some drugs, and, according to their reports "not some nice ones."

Do drugs with coke dealer. Everything is cool. for now.

Go to house party. Piss off several people that no one cares about. Make sure you are bigger and drunker than they are. Steal other peoples beer, then chug it in front of them. Mock them for not saying anything. Break something fairly irrelevant, then almost break some sort of hierlook, like a hand mirror or something. Decide its time to go after some chick tries to slap you, and you wisely decide not to kill her.

Go with friends to other party. Blackout for good.

Wake up the next evening, thankfully at home. Hear good(?) stories about how the soberest thing you did was clock some jerk that was being an ass to one of our chick-friends. Then urinate on someones car. Then on someone. Then, encourage chicks to get naked. The impact of this was softened somewhat when some actually did. Attempt to steal hosts playstation 2. When this fails, succesfully steal several dvds. (thank god for hoodies with pockets) Tell your close friend that she is a cool person, who you enjoy being with, but usually she is just an emotional drunk bitch. Leave party. Walk home. somewhere along the way, obtain gym bag that has fifty dollars in it.


seriously. I am surpized that i survived 22. That was such an insano year for me. Emotional problems, chemical dependancies, and lack of responsibility. After some time, i am thankfully not at all like the person i used to be. good times.

peace

john nickle

[brassnuts]

Here's a fun one. Get extremely drunk only to have your visiting friend from Oregon show up a day early with over a pound of golden cubenzis (aka shrooms). Eat some, pass out, go crazy, believe that you are dead (along with everyone else) and are living in an afterlife. Top it off by peeing in your bed, and wandering into your friends room down the hall, naked, wrapped in a blanket and ask a room full of people, with a perfectly straight face and in all seriousness, "How long have I been dead?"

[PhatTBoll]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's a fun one. Get extremely drunk only to have your visiting friend from Oregon show up a day early with over a pound of golden cubenzis (aka shrooms). Eat some, pass out, go crazy, believe that you are dead (along with everyone else) and are living in an afterlife. Top it off by peeing in your bed, and wandering into your friends room down the hall, naked, wrapped in a blanket and ask a room full of people, with a perfectly straight face and in all seriousness, "How long have I been dead?"

[/ QUOTE ]


Yeah, shrooms will annihilate you if you eat too many at a time. I'll bet they giggled at you for like 30 minutes.

[CCx]

[ QUOTE ]
...describe how girlfriend looks like a twelve year old boy...

...Then go on to make fun of the fact that she has some STD that no one is supposed to know about. Try to leave without paying but after tipping...

Do drugs with coke dealer. Everything is cool. for now.

[/ QUOTE ]

your post had me at hello...friggin' hilarious, brings back memories /images/graemlins/grin.gif